I woke in the Orlando International Airport clinic at some point, Jezze leaning over me as she waved a bundle of incense around my face. I wheezed then coughed and pushed her away. I fluttered my hands to disperse the thick scent. It was as strong as smelling salts, though far more potent, and it made my eyes water.

I laid there for a few more moments, fighting to get my bearings while I silently begged my head to stop spinning. I didn’t have anything in my stomach but I still felt like I was very close to an Exorcist-worthy performance.

“What happened?” I rasped as I stared at Jezze through blurred vision. Last I remembered I was on the plane feeling a little woozy. The wound on my side ached and a new wave of pain and numbness had spread down my thigh. Even my right arm tingled while the infection had spread.

“You pushed yourself too hard, dumbass.” Jezze pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed my forehead. I tried to bat her away but only managed to lift my arms a few inches before I slumped back once more. “You’re lucky one of our Hell’s Chapel regulars is a baggage handler. He saw you being rolled off the plane in a wheelchair and called the bar.”

“Shit,” I muttered and closed my eyes. Bile surged in my stomach and I breathed deep then swallowed hard. “Drinks on the house for him.”

Jezze snorted. “Yeah, well, I called Sorsha. She’ll be here soon.”

“Good,” I wheezed. My side pulsated with increasing pain. “I need more meds. Then I need to—“

“Go to the clinic and stay in bed? Yes, yes you do.”

“No,” I shook my head and then froze. Moving was a bad idea. “I can’t. I need to—“

“Rest. End of story.” Then she did the whole arm-crossing glare down. I knew that look, dammit, and I was too weak to fight her.

“Fuck,” I muttered. I closed my eyes and rubbed my temple. I wanted to argue even if I knew Jezze was right. Whether I liked it or not, my happy ass wasn’t going anywhere under my own power.

I hated weakness more than I hated collard greens. And that was saying something.

Pride had always been my biggest—but not only—sin. I suppose I got that from Uncle Luc.

“So,” Jezze stared me down and crossed her arms, “what the hell were you doing in New Orleans? You left without saying a word. Not even a text. I mean, ‘gone to flash titties’ would have been enough. I thought you’d died in a ditch!”

“Uncle Luc would have sent you a postcard if I’d died.”

“Caith…” My friend growled almost as well as a wolf. Almost. “Dying on a plane isn’t much better.”

I kept my eyes closed. The clinic was too damned bright and opening them hurt too much. “I went to see Keller.”

“Oh.” She paused. “Ohhh…” I could hear her disapproving frown. I’d met Jezze years after Keller and I had split, but she’d heard all the gory—literally sometimes—details. “What did he say? Obviously, he didn’t heal you.”

“He wasn’t there.”

“Well, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Maybe he moved.”

“No.” I shook my head and immediately regretted it when a surge of pain pierced my skull. “Ugh. No, he was still living there, but it looked like he hasn’t been around for a few weeks. I found some of his notes and shit in case they might be helpful.” I vaguely gestured toward my bag on a nearby chair. “We might have to find a goat or something though.”

And earplugs. Goats made a lot of noise when they were scared. A lot.

I listened as Jezze moved to my bag and dug through my mess. I opened my eyes a bit and squinted at her through the narrowed slits while she flipped through the books. She frowned at the pages, running her finger along them as she mouthed some of the runes. “This doesn’t make sense. It’s got to be in some sort of code. I’ll need to work on decoding it before I can translate it. Are you sure this is something helpful? It could be his recipes for wart cream or something.”

“Centuries-old warlocks don’t write recipes for wart cream in code.” However, Keller hadn’t been all that stable the last time I’d seen him, so it was hard to say for sure. “I don’t know how helpful it’ll be, but it’s something to work on. From the look of his place, he disappeared around the same time the ghoul outbreak started. But it’s too much of a coincidence.”

“Do you think he was targeted? Because he’d know how to stop the spread?”

I shrugged. “It’s a possibility, but there wasn’t any sign of a struggle. He could have just wandered off into the countryside. He’s also a possessive jerk, so if he comes home and finds his shit missing, he’ll come hunting for it. For now, we’ve got journals from a very powerful warlock that might help us out.”

“All right.” Jezze sighed. “I’ll work on this once we get you back to Sorsha’s.” There was a silence, and I sensed the witch’s heated glare. “I’m still mad at you for running off without me.”

I grinned. “I know you love NOLA.”

She sniffed and then laughed. “I like any chance I can get to flash my boobs.”

We were laughing—okay, I was groaning—when Sorsha walked in a few minutes later and gave me Jezze’s same lecture almost word for word. I wondered if they had a psychic link or something.

I mentally whined. I wanted a psychic link tooooo…

Hell, I had to be sick if I was pouting like Bryony.

Sorsha tended my wound, applying a new poultice that managed to smell even more rank yet sweeter than the last. Like flower petals ground into rotten eggs.

Fucked if I was going to ask her what was in the pasty mess. I knew I wouldn’t like the answer.

“You’re back on bed rest for a few days.” The stern healer glared at me when I tried to protest. “You’ve been pushing yourself too hard. I warned you to take it easy. Now you get to pay the price.”

“Fine.” Honestly, I was too tired to argue. The longer I stayed awake, the more I regretted being awake. Unless I had Sam by my side. I’d definitely stay awake for his sexy ass. At least long enough to get a little frisky before I passed out.

What can I say? It had been a while and vibrators could only do so much. I’d already burned through five Hitachi Magic Wands.

They loaded me into a wheelchair and I forced myself to swallow my pride and accept that I was too weak to walk. On the good news front, Sorsha’s poultice was already making me feel better. I knew that it didn’t do anything more than mask the symptoms, but at least I wasn’t eyeballing every sharp object and wondering how long it would take me to bleed out if I stabbed myself.

Relief from the pain let my mind clear and would help me rest so I could regain my energy. Something I needed. Desperately. I was Hell damned determined to get back on my feet as soon as possible.

I dozed during the drive to Sorsha’s. The scenery passed in a blur, and not just because I was sick. I let the healer mother me while she and her assistants got me into bed and made me as comfortable as I could be. I wasn’t a big fan of fussing and pampering, but it was nice to just let someone else deal with things for a little while.

I could rest and sleep and…

And I couldn’t escape the darkness even in sleep. The infection crept into my dreams, marring them with gray, blurry bodies and eerie voices that echoed in my mind. They swarmed me, pushing and pulling, dragging me into a sea of sickness and pain. I drowned in them, ethereal hands clawing at my body. They wanted me to join them, welcome them with open arms and lose myself in the waves of so many others.

And fuck, part of me was tempted to dive into the deep, unending shadows and drink in that tainted smoke. It appealed to a part of me, a part that liked to creep out and revel in the pain of others. The part that I kept contained like a feral beast.

The sea of shadows welcomed the beast.

But I fought. I pushed, pulled, kicked, and punched at the watery mass. The beast was a part of me, but it wasn’t me. I crawled—doggy paddled—away and stretched for the surface, straining to reach open air and…

I sucked in a harsh breath, gasping as my eyes popped open. A large shape loomed above me, backlit and imposing, and I inhaled once more. My lips parted, prepared to scream for help. I was too weak to truly fight and there was no way I could win. Not now.

Except with that breath came a familiar scent. One that called to my wolf—soothing and strengthening the beast in equal measure.

Papa Al. I sighed and met his stern expression. His face was a hard, implacable mask, but there was something else in his gaze. A softness that most people didn’t get to see in the North American High Wolf. He was the Alpha of all Alphas but he always had a soft spot for his only pup—me. His scent was thick in the room, and I knew that he’d watched over me as I slept.

“Hey, Papa.” My voice sounded weak even to my own ears.

“Caith.” He brushed my hair back and a small smile curved his lips. “How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’m golden.” I mirrored his smile. “You know, as long as I don’t have to do anything more than breathe.”

“Good. Stay in bed.” His dominance rolled over me in a slow wave. He wasn’t Papa Al in that moment, but Alpha giving a command to one of his wolves. “No arguments. Not after you ran off to New Orleans like you did.”

Hadn’t he learned that his whole alpha-dominance-thing didn’t work on me? I mean, did he not remember my teenage years? Seriously?

I didn’t remind him his orders didn’t work.

Instead, I flashed a glare at Jezze, my soon-to-be-ex BFF sitting in a chair across the room with her nose tucked in one of Keller’s journals. She must have sensed my stare because she lifted her attention just enough to meet my gaze only to immediately lower it back to the pages. I wasn’t sure if she was avoiding me out of guilt or because she didn’t like seeing me sick.

I was going with guilt.

“So Jezze told you about my little vacay?” I forced a trembling smirk.

Papa Al snorted. “Jezze didn’t rat you out. I had Gregory keeping an eye on you. He reported to me before you got on the plane to NOLA. I nearly came down here to drag you out of the airport myself, but by the time I got word, you were already in the air.”

Based on the level of his growling, I knew someone would be paying for that poor timing.

I flashed another glare at Jezze who continued to avoid my gaze. Dammit. She and Gregory had been a pretty serious thing for a while now. It wasn’t her fault her boyfriend was an evil werewolf spy under Papa Al’s control. So why the guilt? I narrowed my eyes further. The crafty bitch had known her furry-fang-bang was keeping an eye on me and had kept it to herself.

Oh, we were so going to be having a convo about that when I was well enough to kick her ass.

“I don’t need a babysitter, Papa Al,” I whined like a teenager, hoping for a smile.

Yeah, didn’t get one.

“When you stop acting like a child, I’ll stop treating you like one.”

Bastard. I ground my teeth and turned my attention to the wall. I hated it when he talked to me like that. I also hated it when he was right. I was basically a big ball of hate right now.

I knew that I’d been foolish to run off on a whim without telling anyone or asking someone to come along. What if I’d passed out at Keller’s abandoned ranch instead of on a plane? I could have died without anyone even knowing where I was.

No one would have been able to tell Bryony what had happened to his mother.

And didn’t that make me feel like the dumbest, biggest piece of shit in all the realms.

I chewed on my lower lip, angry at myself more than Papa Al, but my stubborn pride tried to push its way to the surface. I refused to admit I needed help. Ever.

“Fine.” I pushed the word past gritted teeth. “I won’t run off again. Okay?” My attention bounced between Jezze and Papa Al. Neither would meet my gaze. I repeated myself. “Okay?”

“Good.” Papa Al nodded. “But I’m leaving a couple of the boys here, just in case.”

I bit my tongue and swallowed the snarky words that leapt to my lips. I hated being babysat, but arguing was a futile endeavor. When I looked at Papa Al, my eyes searching his expression, I was sure there was more than only fatherly concern. Jezze had the same look.

Yet neither of them spoke and damned if that didn’t bug the shit out of me.

“Is there something you guys aren’t telling me?”

Suddenly the walls were super interesting to them both. As if they held the secrets to the universe or some shit.

If I had the strength, I’d snap and snarl at them and demand answers. Assholes. I didn’t know what they were keeping from me—if something happened while I was gone or slept—but there was something not being said. But I’d wait. I needed to pick my battles until I got my energy back. This wasn’t a battle I could win.

And I always played to win.

“There’s someone who’d like to see you.” Papa Al still wouldn’t meet my eyes and instead went to the door. He stepped into the hall and waved someone forward.

Esmeralda strode into the room with Bryony clinging to her hand.

I smiled widely and sat up a bit, taking Papa Al’s help when he came forward. I could be brave in front of my kid. I could pretend I wasn’t on my deathbed and thinking about funeral arrangements.

Esmeralda lifted Bry and sat him on the bed next to me. I grabbed his little hand. “Hey kiddo. How’s it going?”

“Fine,” Bryony mumbled, not quite meeting my eyes. He swung his short legs, bouncing them up and down over the edge of the bed. “I missed you.”

I ran my fingers through his hair. “I missed you too, buddy. Sorry I had to go so quickly like that. Momma had some business to take care of.”

He nodded, but still wouldn’t look at me. “Did you stop the bad guys?”

“Not this time. I had to go see a friend I thought could help me out.”

“Is he gonna?”

“Maybe,” I hedged. It wasn’t a lie. His books might help, right? “He wasn’t home, but I’m gonna see if I can find him.”

“Oh. Okay. Are you coming home soon?” The scent of his worry clouded the small room, overriding the scents of the others. I wanted to reassure him, but I didn’t know what to say. I could reassure him that his Mom was invincible and would hop out of this bed in no time, but if I got worse…

I looked at Jezze again and she looked away, burying her nose in Keller’s journal once more.

Yeah, she was keeping something from me, but I wasn’t going to bring it up in front of Bry. He needed to see a united family. Arguing with Jezze would only upset him more.

“Maybe in a couple of days.” I squeezed his hand. “Sorsha wants me to stick around for a little while longer. She’s really good with her medicines. You know that, right?”

Bryony nodded and finally looked up at me, unshed tears clouding his eyes. The kid was too perceptive for his age and I had no doubt that he saw the writing on the wall.

“Can I come see you after school tomorrow?”

“Of course.” I tousled his hair. “You can bring your homework and we can work on it together. How’s that sound?”

“Okay.” He nodded again but then narrowed his eyes. “But not math. You stink at math, Mom.”

I huffed. This was an old argument. “If On High didn’t want us to have calculators, he wouldn’t have allowed humans to invent them.”

Sorsha stepped into the room, her gaze sweeping over the small crowd of visitors. “I’m sorry, but I think it’s time for Caith to get some rest. You can all come back tomorrow.”

Bryony hung his head and I tugged him close to give him a hug. “Be good for Esmeralda.” I pressed a kiss to his temple. “Okay? If she tells me you’ve been bad, you’re gonna answer to me.”

I added a growl to the end so he knew I was super serious.

Of course, the kid knew me better than that. He grinned and giggled. “Okay. I promise.”

Esmeralda helped him hop to the ground and led him from the room. Jezze followed, barely glancing over her shoulder at me.

“See you tomorrow,” she threw the words over her shoulder just before she turned the corner. Tension consumed her voice, but I didn’t stop her. Maybe that was stubborn and petty, but I didn’t like it when my friends kept secrets from me.

Papa Al was the last to leave. He paused in the doorway, glare in place. “A couple of the boys will be here all night.”

“To keep me from breaking out and gallivanting across the countryside?” I smirked. Because, yeah, I’d done that once or twice.

His mouth twisted into a wry grin. “To protect you, Caith dear.”

I snorted. Papa Al’s version of “protection” didn’t only mean from outside enemies. Nah, he’d protect me from what he considered my own foolishness.

Whatever. Jump from the Empire State Building one time and suddenly every decision I made was irresponsible.