Leaving Lucifer, not in the least debauched, totally ungroped, and utterly annoyed, Gaia called a portal and deposited herself outside Nefertiti’s tower. The good thing about being a bit of a celebrity? It meant, as she took the steps, one at a time, a scantily-clad butler hauled open the doors, granting her entry.

A less irritated woman might have noted the perfectly sculpted six-pack and the lean waist tapering in a vee, barely hidden by the skintight shorts. The curly throwback blond hair gave the butler a boyish look, as did his rakish grin.

All wasted because Gaia could think of only one man. One damnable man who showed a few signs of his old self. But a few signs weren’t enough for Gaia.

I want my big, bad demon back.

As she followed the smooth gait of the butler—with an ass made for grabbing—Gaia found her attention drawn by some changes in Nefertiti’s tower.

The once gloomy, smoke-stained, gray stone seemed to have undergone a whitewash, so bright that the spooky ambiance no longer pressed upon the spirit. Vivid murals depicting scenes from an erotic seduction to the most vicious of tortures—also sexual in nature—gave way to tapestries woven to appear as windows onto fantastical gardens. She found the one of the purple-surfaced planet with its twin moons in the sky particularly lovely.

As for the window covering, the thick red velvet panels, held back with brass cords, were gone and, in their place, filmy curtains of a crisp white. Gaia had to wonder how they stayed clean. In the pit, ash was a part of life. It coated everything in a dull gray. White didn’t stay white for long.

Unless a certain determined sorceress used magic to keep it pristine.

What had happened here? Since when had Nefertiti gravitated to such a clean and pure décor?

Did she somehow get conned into joining the light side? Had Neffie gone good?

Snicker. She highly doubted that. Still, she wondered about her friend’s sanity level.

The new décor extended into the harem itself, the immaculate white offset with silver and the occasional hint of gold. And it was here that Gaia finally caught on to the decorating brilliance that Neffie had stumbled upon.

With such a pale canvas acting as a backdrop, it lent a certain eye-opening aspect to the men strutting around in little to nothing.

Oh my.

She was a woman, one still in her prime. One who could totally admire a perfect male form. She could also find herself a little dumbstruck when visually bombarded with more than a dozen at once. There were partially nude bodies everywhere, running a palette of colors from the finest ivory to a deep ebony to a milk chocolate shade in between. She even spotted a purple and blue fellow.

The half-dressed men wandered about, completely at ease in their bright loincloths. Their presence added quite the punch when viewed against the blank canvas of the room.

“Effective, isn’t it?” said Nefertiti. She lounged on a divan, wearing a long red gown, slitted up both thighs. Her dark, glittering eyes watched as a man, with excellent thigh-muscle control, clung to a stripper pole upside down.

As for what he did on the pole… While not a prude, Gaia still averted her gaze. She had enough issues with Luc to compound them by drooling over her friend’s man.

“I didn’t realize you’d taken an interest in the exotic dancing art?” Keeping her back to the sinuous hump of the new objet d’art, Gaia approached Nefertiti. A line of divans and comfortable chairs circled around the pole, offering plenty of angles to watch from.

“Gaia, my dear friend. Come sit beside me.” Neffie patted the cushion on the couch, and Gaia joined her, plopping down heavily.

The faux wood creaked. She smirked. Imitations were never as good as the real stuff. “I see you redecorated.” She tilted her head to the left and noted more change, the orgy in the middle of the bathing fountain replaced with a waterfall with strategically placed flat rocks. How practical. She’d have to ask Neffie who designed it. The rock garden at the palace could use one.

“Do you like it? I woke up the other morning and thought, it’s time for a change. Shadowy halls and gloomy corners were so sixteen hundreds.”

“I actually really do like it, although I am wondering how hard it was to get a pole that long.” Gaia tilted her head back to see the newest craze stretched high above to a ceiling at least a hundred feet overhead. She also noted more dancers higher up on it, as well as a few men doing trapeze. Naked.

Oh my.

I wonder if Lucifer would want to try that.

The old Luc would have taken it as a challenge—Watch me defy the laws of gravity, wench. The new Lucifer would probably faint.

Sigh.

“Why the sad sound?”

“You must have heard about the missing heart at the end of Dante’s Inferno.”

“Yes. A most unexpected turn of events. But not the end of the world. That isn’t coming for another fifty or so years, depending on the paths some mortals take.”

Gaia blinked. The sorceress had a habit of throwing out tidbits like that. Most of her predictions never came to pass, as the future held many forks, and many pivotal events rested on the tiny decision of one.

However, who cared about the possible annihilation of mankind? Gaia had more important things to worry about. “I don’t know what to do about Lucifer.”

A moue of distaste curled Neffie’s lips. “Yes, the Dark Lord is a bit irritating with his do-good mannerisms. Can you believe he asked me to disband my harem and stick to just one man at a time?” Nefertiti shuddered. “Perish the thought. That would be like asking us to only eat one chip. Or a single bite of a decadent sundae.”

Personally, Gaia had her hands full—quite literally when erect—with one man. But Nefertiti’s magic relied on sex, lots of it, hence her view on the matter tended to skew in another direction.

“I don’t know if I can marry him, Neffie. I mean, the wedding is less than two days away, and whenever I think of tying myself to the imposter wearing his body, I want to burrow deep into the earth and hide.”

“Then don’t marry him.”

But that would mean breaking his heart, a heart he currently had, even if it wasn’t his own.

“Is there any way we could get the old Lucifer back without finding his heart? I see occasional glimpses of him. It’s like he’s still in there but stuck.”

“His wicked persona overshadowed by his do-good organ?” Neffie appeared thoughtful. “Possible. And, if true, then perhaps, over time, the darkness that belongs to the Lord of Sin will submerge the pure heart and take over again.”

Perhaps over time? As Mother Nature, she might have the patience to plant a seedling and watch it grow to maturity, even if that took decades. But when it came to Luc… She shook her head. “I don’t have time to wait. Hell is falling apart. Demons are running rampant. The number of escapees to the mortal realm has multiplied. Muriel is doing her best to retain control, but she doesn’t have the hard, commanding edge of her father.”

“I noticed things were even more chaotic than usual. And while a little chaos is acceptable, too much means more work for me, which means more sex, which means fun, but a pussy can only handle so much before it needs a rest. Chafing is real, my friend, and let me add, it is not fun. For either party.”

“Neffie!” Gaia exclaimed. “Way too much info.”

“I know, which is what makes it so fun.” The sorceress smirked. “But back to your dilemma. How to draw the Dark Lord out if he is, indeed, still in there? How about tossing him in a pit with a few monsters? Maybe slay a few beasts. Shed a lot of blood. You know. Something to get that adrenaline going.”

Gaia shook her head as she recalled his squealing on the roller coaster ride. “Tried that. It didn’t really work.”

“How about shagging him good?”

“I wish he’d let me. The man is determined to wait until we’re wed.”

“So seduce him.”

“I’ve tried,” Gaia grumbled. “He practically runs away each time. It’s a little demoralizing to my ego.”

At that, Nefertiti went silent for a moment. Her eyes lost focus as she stared at the spinning of the man high above, the length of silver fabric flashing and drawing the eye as he weaved and spun with it. Gaia startled when Neffie broke the silence. “How about appealing to his sinful side?”

“I thought I was with all the stuff I did.”

“Maybe we missed one. What are the main sins?”

Easy. “Murder. Theft. Lust. Avarice.”

Again, the sorceress got a thoughtful expression. “Getting Lucifer to kill didn’t work so well, and I doubt we could get him to steal. He lusts but won’t act on it, so that leaves avarice. A most powerful emotion when wielded right.”

Avarice, the close brother to jealousy.

Jealousy…

Could the solution be so simple? If there was something Lucifer hated, it was someone poaching on his territory. Didn’t matter what it was—power, owning more awesome toys, or someone screwing with his woman.

I am his wench.

But would jealousy still work? The old Lucifer hated anyone making eyes at Gaia. He went coo-coo like a clock on ’roids if anyone so much as stared too long. Would the new version give a damn?

Only one way to find out.

Grabbing a neon green drink from a proffered tray, Gaia tossed back the very tart apple liquid. Then three more in various colors—fireball, menthol, and toxic mite remedy—before attempting to get frisky with the stripper pole.

A few attempts to swing didn’t go well. She ended on the floor, staring up at swinging balls with an urge to sing the song “Big Balls” by AC/DC. Neffie served a potent brew, enough so that, when Gaia got to her feet and staggered, a quake flattened part of the Rockies.

Better keep a closer hold on my earth-shaking power.

Since dancing seemed out of the question, Gaia wrapped her fingers around the pole, leaned close, and stuck out her tongue before asking in a slurred voice for Neffie to, “Take a picture and post it.”

They ended up posting several. Videos too. The amount of views pinged rapidly, and yet no rampaging demon came to drag her out of the harem of iniquity.

No roar of rage sounded, vibrating the rings of Hell.

The tower wasn’t invaded by the legion.

Not a single damned thing happened. Sob.

Lucifer just didn’t care.

“Arghhhhh!” She uttered a primal scream because she cared and she was just drunk enough to do something about it. “I’ve had it! I am going to march back to his place and tell him what I think. No more Mrs. Nice Mother Earth.”

“That was you being nice?”

“Sarcasm is best when I’m not so pissed,” Gaia growled, pointing a finger at Neffie and her wavering double. She wished the sorceress would stop moving.

“I have to question your plan. Are you sure you should confront him right now? You’re a little unbalanced.”

“I might be a little drunk, that doesn’t mean my feelings have changed. I can’t marry Lucifer as he is.”

With that determination, Gaia slashed her finger through the air and nothing happened.

“Let me help you,” Nefertiti said. She snapped her fingers, and a rip appeared.

Gaia stepped into the portal and exited by Lucifer’s castle. But not the place it used to be.

Sounds of fighting and the even stronger stench of fire—real fire, not the brimstone of Hell—filled the air.

The rioting and chaos had reached the inner circle and neared Lucifer’s source of power. If something didn’t happen soon, Hell would turn into a place of complete anarchy. The demons and other dark creatures inhabiting this plane could spill over onto the mortal plane. It would mean decades of war. Millions of deaths. A destruction of the planet.

My planet.

So much relied on Lucifer returning to himself. Big stakes, and yet, while it might make her petty, she didn’t care about all that. The fate of Hell and Earth meant nothing to her without the man she loved.

And it was time she confronted him about it. Servants pointed Gaia in his direction. What they didn’t warn her about was that she would walk in on the end of the world.

Okay, not quite the end, but it was as bad as Hell freezing over.

“Honey bunches, you’re home.” Lucifer beamed at her from his club chair. He wore a knitted sweater with leather patches on the elbows. And where had he gotten those spectacles perched on his nose? But most incongruous of all…

“Are you playing Scrabble?”

“Indeed I am, with the most wonderful brother Heaven has to offer.”

Elyon, as he liked to be called now, formerly known as Yahweh and the One True God by a few religious branches, beamed at the compliment. “Why thank you, Lucifer.”

“My pleasure, brother dear. I can’t understand why we don’t do this more often. Your manners are impeccable.”

“Because he’s a prat,” she muttered.

“What’s that, love bunny?”

She pasted a fake smile on her face. “Just saying I’m surprised you haven’t offered our guest refreshments.”

“Goodness gracious. Where are my manners?”

Lucifer practically skipped from the room, surely causing some souls to throw themselves in the abyss to escape the horror of it. He’d no sooner popped out of sight when Gaia dove over the table, sending the game board and its pieces scattering. She grabbed Elyon by his white robe and dragged him close.

“What do you think you’re doing?” she snarled.

“I am spending time with my brother.”

His clear blue eyes regarded her with absolute innocence. Knowing him, it was sincere.

“You and Luc hate spending time together. You can’t be in the room together five minutes without you threatening to send down your army of light and annihilating his evil realm once and for all. Luc usually tells you his army will kick your army’s ass and to get laid.” A brotherly rivalry that had existed since Lucifer decided he didn’t want to share Heaven with Elyon and chose Hell as his home.

The relationship between them had turned contentious at that point with a battle for souls starting, a fight that Lucifer won without even trying. Elyon’s rules for entrance into Heaven were rigid and not easy to follow. The Ten Commandments truly covered all sin.

But that rivalry was nothing compared to what had happened when Gaia dumped Elyon for Luc. A tad her fault for dating the wrong brother first. But then again, the brotherly rivalry proved kind of hot when they went on a holy crusade against each other.

She didn’t see any signs of a holy war brewing with their quiet game of Scrabble.

“I know that before things between me and Lucifer were kind of tense. But that was before. My brother has changed.” Elyon clasped his hands and raised his eyes to Heaven, his home.

“You think?” she said in her most sarcastic lilt. Wasted breath.

“I rather like this new version of him. He kind of reminds me of myself.”

She made a moue as she shoved Elyon back in his chair. “And that’s the problem. There’s a reason I dumped your ass for Lucifer.”

“Because you couldn’t handle my glory?” He smiled beatifically at her.

She dropped her gaze to his lap. “I prefer something that needs two handles and knows how to take charge.”

Even with all the sin he’d seen and passed judgment on, Elyon still had the ability to blush like a schoolgirl.

“I don’t know what my brother sees in you.”

Gaia sometimes wondered as well, and yet, for all their volatile dating in the past, they couldn’t seem to stay away from each other for more than a few decades at a time.

“You need to help me fix Lucifer.”

Elyon shook his head, his long white locks flying. “Why would we do that? I quite like him as he is now.”

“Because, you short-sighted idiot, his whole goody-two-shoes bit has upset the balance of good and evil in the world.”

“The forces of light are seeing the scales tip in our favor. I’d say that’s a good thing for everyone.” Scary part was God truly believed it.

“No, it’s not a good thing. All things require balance. It’s how nature works. If something skews too much one way, the whole ecosystem collapses. Same thing with Heaven, Hell, and the mortal realm. We need a Lord of Sin.”

“I thought my niece had taken over his job?”

“She did, but she doesn’t have the special brand of evil needed to lead the army of darkness.” But Muriel did try. Unfortunately, she’d succumbed to the pressure a few times and decimated a portion of the army.

“Surely you can find another sociopath to help out your progeny.”

“You don’t get it. You can’t just replace Lucifer. He is one of a kind.”

Dishes hit the ground with a clatter and crashing of porcelain. She whipped around in a froth of green skirts to see Lucifer staring at her.

His eyes shone. His arms opened wide. The smile on his face practically split his head in two. “Pookiekins, that is the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said. I think you’re one of a kind too. Come here and give me a big smoochie.”

She found herself propelled forward, Lucifer’s beckoning fingers drawing her much like a magnet did with metal. A moment later, his arms wrapped around her in a gentle hug. No more rib crushing from him. The kiss he bestowed was soft and gentle too. No passionate plunder of her lips. No sinuous foray by his wickedly long tongue.

It was also short-lived, a tease of an embrace, and then he set her away from him.

With a snap of his fingers, the tray he’d dropped reformed and balanced on his palm. With a whistle and a swagger that needed more bad to make those pants work, Lucifer rejoined his brother.

Looking at the two of them conversing, she was reminded of something Nefertiti had told her many years ago over a different round of drinks.

“Jealousy is a magic all its own. If properly set, it can prompt men to do just about anything.”

The pictures she’d posted hadn’t worked, possibly because no one had showed him.

Or he doesn’t care.

She refused to believe that. She had to find a way to draw her evil overlord from where he hid inside because she knew Lucifer was still in there somewhere. She kept catching glimpses, despite the purity of his false heart.

If only she could coax that side of him to the surface. Surely if anyone could possess his own body, it was her Dark Lord.

Give him the right incentive.

In person, not via social media. Time to ignite the fuse that would turn on the tap for his covetous side.

“Do you mind I join you boys?” she asked brightly.

“Of course, lovely lady. Have my seat,” Elyon graciously offered.

Looking utterly startled that his brother had stood first, Lucifer followed, but she’d already turned a smile onto Elyon. “Thank you. That is so kind of you.”

What wasn’t so kind was her intentional trip and fall into the heavenly deity. She hit him and clutched at his white robe. His hands steadied her. She remained close and peered into the visage of her bearded ex-boyfriend. But not lover. Elyon respected her too much for defilement.

“Oops. Clumsy me,” she said with a giggle.

“No harm done,” he said, clearing his throat with a small cough.

“I hope I didn’t damage your robe.” As she smoothed her hand down the fabric, she caught a whiff of smoke.

She bit her inner lip, lest she giggle. It was working.

“Robe is fine,” Elyon managed to say in a strangled voice.

Tented, too, and Gaia made sure to whirl away in such a way that Lucifer noted it too.

A quick glance showed that smoke curled from Lucifer’s ears and nose, but just in case he needed a little more nudging, she bent over right in front of Elyon.

“I should check my shoes. Maybe it was a loose lace tripping me.”

Not very subtle as ass waggles went, but it resulted in Luc, in a tight tone, reminding, “You are wearing sandals.”

“Goodness me, I am.” Titter. She straightened. “You know what, instead of me stealing your seat, why don’t we share it? Luc says sharing is caring.” She shoved Elyon into the chair, the back of it hitting his knees and buckling them. He sat down hard, and she plopped onto his lap before turning a beaming grin on Lucifer. “Why don’t you boys keep playing your game? You won’t even know I’m here.”

Lucifer certainly did know she was there, and smoke literally billowed from his ears. “I think Elyon and I were done. Didn’t you need to return to your heavenly abode? It’s getting late.”

A hesitant hand came to rest on her hip, and Gaia didn’t slap it away, not when its appearance turned Luc’s face such an interesting shade of red.

“No rush to leave. I can stay a little while longer.”

“Luc is right. It is getting late, and I really should get to bed.” She fluttered her lashes so strongly a kaleidoscope of butterflies on the mortal realm took wing. She stood, but didn’t move away from Elyon. His hand remained on her hip.

Lucifer’s gaze watched it with burning intensity. But no laser beams yet.

“If you’re leaving, then why don’t I, um, escort you?” As Elyon stood, he finally removed his hand so he could offer the crook of his arm. She never did manage to grasp it.

Luc vaulted over the table and grabbed Elyon’s arm. He propelled him in a quick forced march to the door.

“No need for you to put yourself out, brother. I’ll take care of Gaia.”

Damned straight he would.

And when Lucifer whirled around, she showed him how she wanted that care to work.