---

Nathan rarely takes his eyes off me. He tries to avoid leaving me alone with Victoria. He’s taken some ‘personal leave’ from work and I think of them whispering about me in his office.

He hasn’t asked. No one has. Nobody has said it out loud, but it’s there in the way they are around me, radiating from them even when they’re not looking at me.

How could you, Sylvie? How could you consider hurting your own baby?

And I have to let them think that.

I told him that Victoria died, that being at home, Mum, had brought it all up again, put me off balance. That I’d buried it before. It was close to the truth, but not everything, of course.

Nathan wants me to talk to someone. I don’t know if I can stall him any longer. His sympathy is turning to resentment. How could I not want to sort things out? I owe it to us all. If I do go, I’ll have to make it all up. Or most of it. He’d finally be impressed with my creativity.

---

We’re pulling into Conley now. My phone beeps. Michelle.

‘Are you here yet? What time shall we meet? Got some pressies for Victoria!’

Over-keen, as ever, but she means well. She probably judges the least; she takes you as you are.

I kept expecting Sam to call, but I haven’t heard anything from him. Judith told me that he had been knocked back for his pitch. In a strange way, there was a sting in that, that Victoria’s story was rejected, not worthy or interesting enough.

We call Peter and Judith regularly. They send gifts. In return, I bring photos; we have to visit. Nathan says it’s nice for me to have a connection with my hometown and with Mum. He thinks it’s a way for me to heal, for us both to.

Maybe it’s a small price to pay for freedom, or a version of it. To be able to stay with Victoria and watch her grow up.

Nathan squeezes my knee, looks over and smiles.

Peter and Judith come out onto the drive to meet us. Nathan and Peter shake hands. They talk about whisky and horse racing on the phone. I think Nathan swots up in advance so he can hold a conversation.

Judith has laid out tea and sandwiches already, and before I know it she has scooped Victoria out of my arms. Peter takes our coats upstairs.

When he comes back down, Nathan says, ‘We’re going by the house later, aren’t we, babe?’ It catches Peter’s attention and I feel myself stiffen.

‘Sylvie doesn’t believe me but I’ve got a bee in my bonnet about the house.’ Nathan puts his arm around me, squeezing the flesh. ‘I know it’s a bit of a state right now, but it’s got real potential. I want to do it up. I’m up for the challenge, aren’t I, Sylv?’

Judith is interested now, her eyes bright. ‘Are you two thinking of moving back here, then?’

I say, ‘We haven’t thought about it,’ Nathan says, ‘Maybe,’ at the same time, like we’re in a screwball comedy film. Everyone laughs but me.

‘I’ll be up for helping you, lad,’ Peter says. ‘Sylvie told you I used to be a builder, didn’t she?’

‘That’d be great. Cheers, Peter.’

‘We haven’t decided anything yet,’ I say. ‘We might still sell it.’

Nathan punctures the awkwardness. ‘Soooo, how was the cruise?’

‘Oh, it was fantastic, Nathan.’ Judith moons about the food and the entertainment and the people they met. ‘It’s the best time we’ve had in ages.’

It’s nice to see her happy, enjoying life as best she can.

‘Wasn’t it amazing, Peter?’

‘Yes, dear.’ He nudges Nathan. ‘It wanted to be for the price as well. Aaaaand,’ Peter looks directly at me and it’s like standing too close to a fire. ‘We got something for you, Sylvie.’

He retrieves a paper bag from the dresser drawer and hands it to me. Something hard inside, round in shape. I pull it out, everyone’s eyes on me. It’s a cruise ship in a snow globe, turquoise shards suspended in the water.

‘We know how much you like them.’ Judith beams at me. ‘Time to start your own traditions, eh? With your own little family. It was Peter that saw it.’

Judith hands round a plate of cakes. I take one and bite into it to hide my expression.

‘And, now that you’re all here… We’ve got more good news.’

‘Oh, what’s that?’ My mind jumps ahead. They’re moving house? Unlikely. Renewing their vows? Perhaps.

‘Have we?’ Peter says, putting his cake down.

‘I haven’t told you yet, either. I just found out earlier, so I thought I’d tell us all together.’

A lump of pink, sugary icing lodges itself at the back of my throat. A moment of panic at choking, then I cough hard and the cake breaks free. Nathan gives me a quizzical look.

‘I mean, we weren’t too sure about Sam for a bit, were we, Peter? Seemed like he wasn’t really getting very far.’

Peter puts his hand on Judith’s shoulder. ‘What is this, love? What are you getting yourself excited about? That’s over now. He did his best but he couldn’t get it off the ground. Don’t go upsetting yourself.’

She brushes him off. ‘But this is different.’

‘Is it?’ Peter says.

I catch Peter’s eye and he gives an almost imperceptible shake of the head. It’s nothing to worry about? It’s all over for me? What?

Judith reaches under the table and pulls out a newspaper. Not the same one as before, though. Newer. Peter refuses to meet my eye now, staring into the bottom of his cup.

The headline reads: ‘Police appeal for mystery woman in 1990s murder case.’

It takes all my concentration not to let the crockery I’m holding crash to the floor.

‘New info. Finally.’ Judith fans her hand across the paper. ‘Source came forwards. And guess what? Someone saw Victoria up at the lake that night in a car. Not the taxi, a different car. And the driver… it was a woman.’

The room falls silent. Nathan doesn’t know what to do with himself.

I take the paper off Judith and start to scan the article. There’s a picture of Sam. He’s made himself part of the story now. A picture of Victoria too.

‘And they’re going to fund it,’ Judith says. ‘Sam is coming back, with a proper film crew and everything.’

I scan the article:

A group of armchair true-crime aficionados has started a crowdfunding campaign for a documentary about the death of Conley teenager Victoria Preston. The SomeoneMustKnow project has already reached 75% of its funding target one week after launching the appeal.

The rest of the words on the page dissolve to a blur.

Judith takes Victoria from Nathan and lifts her high over her head, spinning her round.