Miley curled up in the corner of her room at the back of the house, shaking and hoping that the boss would bring her some medicine soon. Her stomach had been playing up something rotten. Jackie had been calling out until about half an hour before, but her room was now silent. There was no way Miley could go and check on her. She had to stay near the bathroom, like she’d been doing for the last two hours. She heaved again but there was no use going to the bathroom, there was nothing left to come out of her. ‘Stop,’ she screamed as a pain shot through her body. The heat was the worst. Sweating – she dripped like a tap; her misshaped T-shirt had soaked through. All she had wanted was to walk on the grass but no one had come to let her out. She wanted to feel what it was like to breathe in fresh air, to walk barefoot on the ground, to listen to the birds chirping. ‘Let me out!’ Tears mingled with sweat and ran down her cheeks. No one ever heard. She didn’t really care about going out for a walk any more. She only wanted her medicine.

Reaching down, she scratched her leg until she drew blood. The flaring red stripes going down her shin were now allowing little droplets of blood to escape. She scratched again. It was like there were insects burrowing under her skin, trying to find an escape. She’d let them out so they could be free. She clawed and clawed until finally she’d sliced a piece of skin with her nails.

An armoured black insect with a visible exoskeleton emerged from the wound, having pushed through muscle and flesh until its large head poked out, peering at her with its compound eyes, each receptor an eye in itself. Her mind turned to how the creepy crawly must see. How many of her could it see? One, five, a thousand. She screamed as the creature pushed the final part of its body out, the abdomen. As it did, the wound stretched further and blood began to drip down her leg. ‘Get off me,’ she cried as she went to hit it. The insect pushed its wings from its thorax, dodging her hand as it flew away, buzzing around the window. It wasn’t like any fly she’d ever seen. ‘It’s not real, it’s not real,’ she kept repeating. ‘You’re not real.’

‘There, this should make things better. You know I always make sure you’re well looked after. I don’t know why.’ Her skewered vision caught sight of him as he leaned over her.

‘Thank you,’ she whimpered as she lay flat on the floor. He could administer her medicine wherever he liked.

‘Not that you deserve it. I can’t believe how little care you’ve been taking of her. She’s precious to me, you know. Have you ever loved someone immensely?’

As the medicine coursed through her body, a wash of calmness began to replace the anxiety. She was on the floor, in her room, with her boss leaning over her. Such an understanding boss. No other boss would ever give her another chance after what had just happened. She reached down and brushed her fingers over her shins and legs. There were a few raised lines but no wetness. The insect had gone and she was fine. There was no insect. There is no insect, she kept repeating in her head.

‘I love Jitterbug.’ A smile spread across her face as she remembered Stacey telling her how much she loved Jitterbug. ‘And my mother.’

‘You need to remember why you left home and focus on that. That woman in the next room is my world and unless you treat her like she’s your world, you will be punished. You know what that means.’ He held up an empty syringe. ‘Imagine if there were no more of these. How would that make you feel?’

Her face scrunched up as she burst into tears, laughing and crying at the same time.

‘That pain you feel, before you have your medicine; it’s a killer, isn’t it?’

She nodded and sobbed as she dragged her fingernails along the floor. The very thought of not having the next fix lined up was shaking her to the core.

‘So you will look after my darling Jaqueline?’

‘I will, I promise. I love Jaqueline.’ She lay back and wiped her tears away.

‘You need time to think, remember how lucky you are. Remember, I saved you. Remember that.’

She sobbed and reached out for his hand, just wanting some close human contact, just a hug. ‘Get off me, you filthy cow. Don’t ever touch me, you hear? I never touch you, do I?’

She let out a half giggle as the drug continued to work its way through her veins. ‘I hear you, loud and well. I need to go out for a walk. I want to go out,’ she murmured with a smile as she wiped a string of snot from her face. ‘Please let me go in the garden.’

‘You will one day. Work hard, and when you deserve a treat, you will get one,’ he whispered in a soothing voice.

She closed her eyes as she listened to the call of the crows coming from outside. Within moments she’d nodded off, entering a world of most welcomed dreams.

---

It was dark, maybe the middle of the night. She flinched as she reached down to pull the blanket from her sticky body. She shrieked in pain as she tried to touch the lamp to turn it on. Pressing the switch with her knuckle, she stared at her stinging fingertips. Each one had been burned, leaving a seeping, blistered mess where they should have been. Was that the punishment he’d promised her? It pained her to cry as she rolled on her back. They throbbed from tip to wrist. What had happened? She remembered needing her medicine and then one of the bosses had returned. She must have had her medicine as she’d felt so calm and sleepy. The insect had vanished and she’d had the most perfect dream. She’d dreamed of Freddie, her school crush. He’d never shown much interest in her but when she finally finished with this job, she’d look him up, find out what he was doing and maybe they’d date for a while, go to the cinema. That dream had ended and she was here, all alone, working hard to make something of herself. She sobbed as she bent her fingers.

Her gaze stopped at the opened bottle of unbranded vodka on the floor. There was at least half left and the top had been removed. She struggled to open the cap, careful to lift the bottle between her two palms and took a swig, before pouring a little over her wounds, letting out a yelp as she held the bottle. A creature flapped past her head. Freezing mid swig, she let the bottle slip from her quaking hands and took a few sharp breaths. The insect was back. As it flapped in front of her, following the light, she exhaled. It was just a moth, a plain old moth, searching for light in the darkness – a bit like her at this moment.

She flinched as a screech filled the air. Jackie had woken. It was her duty to attend to her. The woman constantly yelled repetitive sounds and this was followed by a bang. She held her breath, fighting against the need to gasp for air. Jackie had stopped babbling. Something had happened. She was going to be punished again.