Chapter 21

URIAH

The department was busy all around me. Officers filing paperwork and processing arrests. Others working on cases. The amount of conversation was never-ending. Even late at night, there was always something going on.

But even with an office full of people, I still felt alone with my thoughts.

“Hey… You want one of these?”

Sanders pulled something out of a brown paper bag.

“Breakfast burrito,” he said. “There’s this great place down the street. Makes ‘em just right. Eggs. Cheese. Meat. Mmm…”

“I don’t know if I’m in the mood to eat right now.”

“Well, you gotta eat something. Come on. How are you gonna get any work done on an empty stomach?”

I didn’t eat anything since I woke up in the morning by myself. I left Bryce at the hospital to recover the next day because the investigation was still underway. A few hours at the station and I’d made little progress.

Sanders didn’t bother waiting for me. He pulled another burrito out of the bag and went at it like his life depended on it. Even I had my limits.

“Yeah,” I sighed. “Let me get one of those.”

“That’s the spirit!”

He tossed the burrito onto my desk. I unwrapped it and took a bite out of it, not realizing that Sanders was watching me the entire time.

“How is it?”

“It’s good,” I said with a shrug.

“It’s better than that. When that first bite hits you… It’s like nothing else. I know you’ve got some stuff on your mind, Kennedy. But I know it’s a lot clearer now. Food makes everybody think straight.”

“Now that you mention it…”

I took another bite.

“…I guess I was a little distracted by my hunger.”

“You didn’t have to tell me that. You know how long I’ve been in this business? You know how many rapists, thieves and murderers have walked through those doors? I’ve heard stories that’ll give you nightmares for months.”

“Spare me.”

“I won’t say anything. But I will tell you that you can’t always have your nose to the grindstone. Sometimes letting your frustration eat away at you will only make things worse. You’ve gotta relax.”

“I know. It’s just…”

I sighed a deep breath and shook my head. I didn’t want to have any doubts but I couldn’t deny they were heavy in my mind.

“We had him,” I said. “We found his facility and he blew the damn place up. Now we’re questioning more people and nobody wants to talk because Rivera is threatening everybody. All this time and we haven’t made any progress. We’re right back where we started.”

“You wanna know what I think?”

Sanders took another bite out of his burrito. A bite so big that it took a few seconds to get it all down. He didn’t hesitate in digging back into his bag and pulling out a second helping.

“I think you need to stop putting all of this on yourself,” he said.

“It’s my responsibility. Lee put me in charge of the investigation.”

“You’re in charge but you’re not alone.”

“Sometimes it feels like it…”

More food wasn’t enough to distract me.

“Remember what I said about all of the thugs and criminals who walked into this station?” he said. “Well, there were a lot of good men and women who walked in here, too. The strongest, bravest, proudest cops you’d ever meet. Real heroes.”

“We could use some of them here right now.”

“That’s just it though. Everybody here is a hero. You’re a hero, Kennedy. Everything you’re doing, nobody could do what you’ve done. Rivera is a wanted man in how many different cities? You’ll get your man.”

I looked at Sanders. There was something so satisfying about the way he ate. It was like the most important thing in the world to him. It would’ve put a smile on anybody’s face.

“Sanders, let me ask you something… You have anybody in your life?”

“What do you mean? I got friends. Mostly cops but hey, nobody’s judging.”

“No, that’s not what I meant… I meant…”

“Betas aren’t wired like you Alphas and Omegas. I never met another man or woman I was into like that. Never interested me. I’ve had my moments. You wouldn’t believe it but I was quite the ladies man back then.”

“Heh…”

“But never anything serious.”

“Well, I’m sure you knew somebody who was close to someone. Someone who cared about somebody.”

“Sure. I’ve seen two people love each other. What’s this got to do with anything?”

“I’m just wondering… What if you had to choose? Have you ever seen someone who had to choose between the one they were meant to be with and doing their job?”

Sanders raised an eyebrow at me. I’d gotten his attention enough that he stopped eating for a second.

“What are you trying to say?” he said. “You getting into it with Rivera?”

“No,” I said with a laugh.

I shook my head but he was a lot closer to the truth than he realized.

“I know what the right thing to do. I was just wondering if there was any way to make things any easier.”

“My advice, kid… Life in Snow Falls is never easy. Being a cop in Snow Falls? Well, I don’t know what’s harder than that.”

Sanders nonchalantly went back to chewing on his lunch like nothing was wrong.

All of the doubts went back to swirling around in my head. If I couldn’t get to Rivera, there was only one thing I could do. I’d have to turn in the evidence I had. I had to take him down, even if it meant I had to take Cade down with him. There was no other way.

Bryce was the most important person in my life. The fact that he was torn bothered me more than anything else. I had to do everything I could to make sure there was nothing more to worry about. And regardless of what happened, I had to be by his side.

“How is the questioning going?” I asked.

“We’ve been through everybody who’s given us the information before. They don’t wanna talk. It’s too much of a risk with Rivera on alert.”

“Bring them in again for more questioning. Hit ‘em hard. Make sure that they should be more worried about us than Rivera.”

“You sure about that? It’s not really our style to make threats like that.”

“Rivera doesn’t belong in this city. He’s already caused all of us enough trouble. It’s time to put him away for good.”