Ten

Amber crossed the great hall, the rushes soft beneath her shoes and the air still crisp due to the stone walls that kept in the cold. All signs of her makeshift hospital had been cleared away, and bright sunlight streamed through the high windows. Warriors had gathered in small groups for the noon meal, the tables and benches beginning to fill the space. The fire burned low in the hearth with cooking pots and kettles hanging over it—used to warm food and water from the separate kitchen.

She approached the stairs to the keep’s second level, absently lifting a hand in greeting to those who called out to her. She breathed in through her nose and out through her mouth in an attempt to calm her racing heart. A moment ago, all she’d felt was annoyance as the men tagged along at her heels, trying to talk to her. She hadn’t wanted to be rude to them; she never wanted that, but God’s blood, the constant clamoring for her attention was enough to rile a saint. Especially as the men seemed to consider it a badge of honor when she rejected them—usually with a flat out “nay.”

Then the whistle had come from above and the men had scattered. She hadn’t looked up; she’d known who it was. Now her blood whooshed through her veins like she’d imbibed too much ale.

A part of her wanted to go see Lachlan—whether to thank him for his help or tell him to refrain from meddling in her affairs, she hadn’t decided yet. But just the thought of being alone with him had filled her body with the urge to rub against his.

So she tiptoed up the stairs and down the hall toward Adaira’s room, as quiet as a mouse, not trusting herself.

What would it be like to be completely alone with him after all those nights of being in his company, surrounded by her friends and neighbors? Especially in a room as small as his solar.

They’d spent half their time together in the evenings arguing and baiting each other, even if their chaperones were unaware of it. It might be as subtle as a raised brow or tiny smirk or a more obvious eye roll. They shared a silent language that could say more between them than a whole night with someone else.

When she reached Adaira’s door, she breathed a sigh of relief that she hadn’t succumbed to her urges and gone to Lachlan’s solar. After a brief knock, she pushed inside the chamber that was across from Callum’s. The lassie lay on her back, the forest-green quilts pulled up beneath her arms. Ian sat in a worn, matching chair beside the bed with a book in his lap.

Adaira frowned at her. Amber frowned back, then stuck out her tongue. When Ian laughed, Adaira transferred her frown to him. For a lass of ten, she looked terribly fierce.

“What?” Ian asked her.

“If you’re going to be friends with her, you canna be friends with me.”

“That’s just daft,” he said as Amber settled onto the quilts beside Adaira. “Amber’s our healer, and she takes care of Breanna and me.”

“I thought you lived at the castle.”

“We do now. The laird says it’s safer. But when our ma died last year, we stayed in our cottage. Amber spent time with us making sure we were all right, especially Breanna. We couldnae live with her because of Machar Murray, aye?”

“Well, she’s a liar,” Adaira said, crossing her arms over her chest. “She pretended to be a lad and—”

“I ne’er told you I was a lad,” Amber said patiently, letting Adaira get her list of complaints off her chest before she examined her—as she did every time Amber came to see her.

“Well, you told Lachlan you were a lad.”

“Aye, and he’s forgiven me.”

“And you kneed Earc in his private regions.”

“He’s forgiven her too,” Ian said, rolling his eyes. “And now he’s mooning o’er her like some lass in a love ballad.”

“Ian,” she reprimanded him, and he shrugged, not at all sorry. “It’s time for me to examine Adaira now. You can come back later.”

Adaira jutted out her chin. “I want him to stay.”

“Nay, lass. I canna.” Ian rose and placed the book on the bedside table. “I have to collect Breanna from the miller’s. One of their cats had kittens. We’ll come by later. Maybe with a kit or two if they can leave their mother.”

“All right, then. Doona forget.”

“I willna.” He patted Adaira’s head and kissed Amber’s cheek before leaving.

Amber moved closer. “Adaira, I’m sorry I deceived you. ’Twas a life-or-death situation, and I needed you to free me.”

“You could have asked. I would have helped.”

“Aye, perhaps. Or maybe you would have called Earc, and he would have restrained me. I needed to be here to help during the battle, do you understand? I was at my wits’ end, and I couldnae risk it.” She brushed a hand over the lass’s forehead. “But then you came along and saved me. Saved us all.”

Adaira scowled, but Amber saw her chin wobble. The lass was hurt by her actions, not angry, although anger was what she showed. She’d trusted Amber, connected with her, only to have that thrown back in her face.

“I understand you feel betrayed, and you have every right to be mad. I did betray you. But maybe, now that you’re feeling a wee bit better, you can forgive me too, and we can move on to other things.”

Adaira pressed her lips together as if trying to hold back her question, before blurting out, “What kind of things?”

“Well, you asked me to teach you how to protect yourself lest you were e’er attacked, how to use your hands and body as a weapon. Remember?”

Adaira’s eyes grew round. “Aye. You said your father taught you.”

“He did. And now I can teach you, if you like. But slowly at first. You’re still healing.”

The lass struggled to prop herself up, but Amber stopped her. “Nay, I want to look at your belly first.” She pulled the pillows out from behind Adaira, laying her flat on the bed and uncovering her wound.

“You looked at it yesterday,” the lass protested.

“Aye, and I’ll look at it again tomorrow.”

The cut was healing well. The wound had closed both inside and out, and the infection had abated. Rising, she poured some water into a bowl from the kettle by the fire and dipped in a clean cloth. After squeezing out the excess, she gently cleaned Adaira’s belly, put on a salve, and rebandaged it.

“Tell me if it hurts,” she said as she prodded in a circle around the injury.

“’Tis healed,” Adaira said, then pushed her shift down and pulled herself up.

“Aye, it looks good.” Amber put the pillows behind her back again and laid the quilt over her legs.

“Tell me now how you beat Earc. He’s so much bigger than you, yet he couldnae walk for several minutes after you rode away. If I had known how to do that when we were attacked by those men, maybe they wouldnae have gotten away.”

“’Tis doubtful, lass. You were surrounded by three trained warriors. The skill I’m going to teach you is for one-on-one situations, so you can escape like I did with Earc. Do you understand?”

“Aye, but if you’d had a sword, you could have cut off Earc’s head. He was rolling around on the ground, moaning. You could have grabbed his dagger and ended him.”

Amber repressed an exasperated sigh. “Adaira, I didn’t want to kill Earc, and you doona always win. Remember, I tried to get away from Lachlan too, but he just ended up tying my hands together.”

“Well, of course it didn’t work on my cousin. He’s our laird!”

Her lips tightened in annoyance. “If he hadn’t been expecting a fight, I might have bested him. He pulled me off my horse, so he surprised me. Part of what works with this technique is the attack is often unexpected, and it happens when you’re in close quarters. So you have to wait until their guard is down.”

Her eyes lit up. “You trick them.”

“Aye, I suppose so.”

“I like the sound of that!”

“Adaira, ’tis not something you use unless someone is trying to hurt you or control you. If you did what I’m going to show you on, say, Ian, he could be damaged for life.”

“I would ne’er hurt Ian. He’s my friend.”

“That’s good, but there may be others that you doona like, and you may be tempted to hurt them if they’re riling you. But you must ne’er inflict violence on a person if it can be avoided.”

“Is that why you ne’er hurt Machar Murray? I heard some of the men say he’d been after you.”

Her stomach tightened. “’Tis more complicated than that. I used my wits to stay free of him, and then when that failed, I ran. Only to be caught by Lachlan.”

“Why didn’t you fight him?”

“Because Murray’s a smart, strong, wicked man, and I didn’t want to provoke him if I could avoid it. Chances are he would have defeated me, just like Lachlan did, and then he would have been even angrier. It’s a last resort, Adaira, do you hear me?”

“Aye, can you show me now?”

Amber nodded and put her healing bag aside. “You willna learn everything at once, and later on you’ll have to practice, but start thinking about the points on our bodies that really hurt when you hit them—like our noses, the tops of our feet, and our ears—and other spots that are really hard and will hurt someone else if we hit with them—like our elbows, the heels of our hands, and our heads. So when we’re in close to someone and they’re trying to harm us, we can fight back using our minds to choose where and when to hit, as well as our bodies.”

“So if I were to use my elbow to hit your nose, that would really hurt?”

“Aye, it might even break it.”

“But you didn’t do that to Earc?”

“Nay. I caught Earc with his guard down and pressed my thumbs here.” She stretched out Adaira’s arm and found the nerve ending above the elbow that hurt so much. “You tell me when you feel this.” She pressed softly.

“Now! It sort of tingles.”

“In a bad way?”

“Aye.”

“So I pressed hard enough on Earc that his arm was rendered useless.”

“And then you kneed him in the privates. I saw that.”

“I did. And I’m sorry I had to.”

“But you got away. And you made it back here in time to help everyone.”

“Aye. Including you and Earc.”

Adaira stared at her for a moment then looked down and plucked at the quilts with her fingers. Finally, she let out a deep sigh and said, “All right. I’ll forgive you.”

* * *

“Amber MacPherson you wait right there!”

Amber turned and scowled at Isla as the pregnant woman waddled down the passageway toward her. Her friend got bigger every day, and that glowing, energized state she’d had two months ago had turned into uncomfortable exhaustion. “Or what? You’re going to chase me down? Bump me with your belly?”

“Nay, I’ll tell our laird and make him chase you down. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll tell my husband you were mean to me, and you willna like what he does to you then.”

“I wasn’t mean to you.”

“Aye, you were. You made fun of my belly.” Suddenly she leaned against the stone wall and made a pained face.

Amber rushed over. “What is it?”

Isla grabbed her sleeve and held tight. “My way of getting you to come here. You’re right, I canna chase you, but I can hold on for as long as it takes.” She straightened from the wall, her brown eyes determined. “I spoke to Niall and he said you were free for a while.”

She blew a short, dismissive sound through her lips. “What does Niall know?”

“Everything. You canna fart without him knowing.”

Amber laughed. “Having trouble, are we?”

“Aye, the romance in my marriage died the moment Alban got me with bairn.”

“Tell that to your husband. He worships every inch of you—belly most of all.”

When Isla simply nodded, Amber laughed again.

“’Tis time,” Isla said. “You’ve been putting me off for days. You doona want me making the trek up here when it’s dangerous, do you? Because you know I will.”

“Blackmail?”

“Aye.”

Amber sighed and scowled again. “All right. Lead on.”

When Isla tugged her arm, she followed her down the hall to her old chamber, dragging her feet. A fire roared inside and a chair had been set up next to it, a bowl of water, a brush, a towel, and a blade sharpened to a razor’s edge set on a table beside the open window.

“Sit,” Isla said, then wrapped a towel around Amber’s shoulders, wet the brush, and began to work it through her jagged curls until they were soaked. “I canna believe it’s taken me so long to get you here, especially with our new laird visiting you every night.”

Amber saw where this was headed and pressed her lips tightly together.

“So that’s the way it’s going to be, is it?” Isla asked as she put down the brush and fussed with Amber’s hair, lifting it and pulling it, even playing with her part. “Not even a wee morsel of information? Niall tells me you fight with him. A lot. And he fights back.”

Amber scoffed. “The two of you, like a couple of interfering old women.”

“Well, maybe if you gave me some information…”

What could she tell her friend? Certainly naught about Machar Murray or being the bait to catch him. But there were other things, things she clamored to talk about, needed to talk about.

“What do you want to know?” she blurted out, her heart racing.

Isla’s eyes jumped to hers, the razor in her hand forgotten. “Really?”

“Aye. Quickly, now, before I change my mind.”

“Umm… Have you kissed him?”

“Aye.”

“Was it a good kiss?”

“Aye!”

“Oh, Lord. Have you touched him?”

“Of course I’ve touched him. I just said I kissed him, didn’t I?”

“No, I meant down there. Did you touch his cock?”

Her cheeks burned, and she groaned, rethinking her idea to share. “Nay.”

“Did he touch you? And I doona mean kissing. Has he touched you with his hands below your neck.”

Amber couldn’t get the words out, so she just nodded.

“But you haven’t—”

She rolled her eyes and let out an exasperated breath. “God’s blood, I just told you I haven’t touched his cock. Last I heard, that part of his body was an integral part of tupping.”

Isla leaned down, her bonnie brown gaze intent on Amber’s. “Dearling, are you still a maid? God’s truth, I’ve been so worried for you the past few years with Machar Murray hounding you. If he touched you in any way, you have to know it’s not your fault.”

Amber’s chest tightened, and the feeling continued up her throat and behind her eyes until she felt them tear up. She dashed them away with the back of her hand.

“He ne’er touched me. That’s not to say he didn’t come close a few times. Twice he came by my cottage at night when I was alone, but I managed to get out and hide before he caught me. Then that last night at the castle he locked me in his chamber, but Niall got me out in time.”

She threw her arms around Isla and squeezed tight. “When I left, I ne’er thought I’d see any of you again. This terrible man, who thought he could do whate’er he wanted to me, to the rest of us, had chased me out of my home. Because he felt like he had some right to me. I was so angry. And so…sad.”

Isla was crying now too, and hugged her back. “And then Lachlan MacKay appeared. Bigger and bonnier than life itself.”

“He pulled me from my horse, dragged me through the scrub, and tied me up.”

“So fierce. Protective and commanding. Yet…gentle.”

“Were you not listening to me? He. Dragged. Me. Through. The. Scrub.”

“I listened. There’s listening here”—she touched her ears—“and then listening here”—she touched Amber’s heart.

Amber raised a brow and tried to keep a straight face, but when she saw Isla’s lips twitch, she burst out laughing—they both did. After a minute, she sighed and said almost dreamily, “He just…doesn’t care.”

Isla pulled back. “What do you mean he doesn’t care? He’s been verra helpful with everyone. Kind and generous with his time.”

“Nay, I meant…he doesn’t care who I am or who I’m not. If I swear, if I’m a witch, if I’m bonnie or not bonnie, if I’m elbow deep inside someone’s belly, or pushing bone back into someone’s leg, if I’m dirty and bloody and smell of guts and—”

“Enough!” Isla held a hand over her mouth. “He may not care, but I do.”

Amber rolled her eyes. “Well, you better get used to it. What do you think’s going to happen when you have bairns? I could fill your head with—” She stopped at the horrified look on Isla’s face. “Aye, best you doona know. It’ll be lovely. You’ll push out a perfect, wee bairn, all sweet and pink, and I’ll hand him or her to you wrapped in soft, white linen. Just like the baby Jesus.”

Isla squeaked and made the sign of the cross over her chest. “Lord have mercy, you’ll bring the devil down on both of us.”

“See, now, Lachlan would have thought that was funny.”

Isla gave her an assessing stare, picked up her blade, and started to shape Amber’s hair. “Are you in love with him, then?” she asked after a minute, slicing and fluffing and layering the strands.

Amber found herself holding her breath. “I am in…great annoyance with him most times. And in great…infatuation with him other times. I think about him often—where he is, what he’s doing, how his hands and mouth would feel on my body. Things occur to me, interesting things, mundane things, and he’s the one I want to share them with.” She scowled. “He makes me laugh.”

Isla scowled back. “He should be hanged.”

“The only man whoe’er made me laugh before was Niall.”

“And you certainly doona want to tup Niall.”

“I ne’er said I wanted to tup Lachlan either. I said I want his hands and his mouth on my body, but I have no interest in tupping.”

“But if you were married—”

“I ne’er said I wanted to marry him, either. And I’m certain he doesn’t want to marry me.”

“Why doona you want to marry him?”

“Well…why should I?”

“To have bairns.”

“I doona know if I want bairns.”

“Aye, you do. To have intercourse, then.”

“I doona want to have intercourse.”

Isla rolled her eyes. “Aye, Amber, you do. You willna be able to get enough of it.” She put down her blade and stared at her, fluffing and tugging strands into place. Finally, she said, “To have a man to call your own, who claims you as his own, who you can tell everything to and he’ll understand what you mean even if you tell him naught.”

“Sounds like witchcraft to me.”

“Nay, ’tis something divine, something sacred between the two of you, not profane or mundane, and when you have it, you’ll know. Do you want that, Amber?”

“I… I… Aye, maybe I do.”

“Well, is Lachlan the man who can give you that?”

“I doona know.”

Isla carefully took off the towel and shook it out the window. “I wish we had a mirror, so you could see how bonnie you look. If we were at court, you would start a trend for all the ladies to have short hair. Your eyes were beautiful before, but now they’re dazzling. And your lips and cheeks… Amber, you look like an angel.”

Amber raised her fingers to her hair. The ends fell evenly about halfway down her neck, with shorter pieces on top and others framing her face.

Isla kissed her cheek. “Niall has asked Alban and me to be there this evening, but I’m not feeling well enough. I’ll leave it up to you whether you tell Niall. Maybe you’ll want to be alone with Lachlan tonight.”