AFTERWORD

IF YOU FOLLOW ME ON Twitter, you know this book was written half as a joke, 100% out of spite. Not that I didn’t intend this story to be serious, and for all that I wrote it quickly I sure as hell put a lot of work into it—but the title and series name are a satirical pot-shot at an author whose overwhelming hubris made her think trademarking a single, extremely common English word gave her the grounds to pursue self-published authors and bully them with legal threats.

Don’t do this.

Don’t ever.

See, this author claimed that these people were riding her ever-so-famous series name to their own fortunes, and she was being so very generous by not demanding their past royalties for the pain so many readers went through supposedly buying the wrong book, thinking it was hers—and that authors even thanked her for helping them choose better names at her demand.

Not only did she pursue every author who published a book with this word in the series name or title since her series, but she also pursued authors who had published before her (making her claims of originality and prior/established intellectual property invalid). She also went after authors on GoodReads, claiming her character names were copyrighted; she left one-star reviews making demands about the books (but she swears not wanting to harm anyone, #FightwithLight, blahblah). Then she took to Facebook groups to post these long, emotionally manipulative screeds about how she was the one really being bullied when she was just protecting her brand from people who were jealous that Amazon had told her her series name was a top keyword.

I’ll wait until you’re done laughing in sheer incredulity.

I know.

I know.

The word she chose to trademark was “cocky.” It’s possible to trademark a word both as a wordmark (the word itself as a stylized representation or logo) and a non-wordmark, which is anything other use of the word in a particular medium.

She did both.

Does that give her full ownership of the word “cocky” in all forms into perpetuity? Does it even give her full ownership of the word “cocky” in the context of ebooks, where she’s officially capable of enforcing her wordmark?

Hell to the no, because there are way too many fucking holes in her claim based on usage, existence of prior intellectual property, establishment of use as a series marker, and so many other things that there’s just no fucking way this can even hope to be in any way valid. If anyone in the world could do this, the entire literary industry would come to a grinding halt as every last author found their one word, trademarked it, and refused to let anyone else use it without threat of legal retaliation, millions of books coming down from Amazon because of trademark claims over a single word.

Imagine a world in which every last book could only consist of the one trademarked word owned by that author.

Thus the #cockygate hashtag was born.

She also pursued authors who used the same cover models as her books—cover models whose photos are available to anyone willing to pay the standard licensing fee on just about any stock photo site, where there are a limited number of conventionally attractive male models with photos suitable for romance covers. We see the same models on covers all the time because that’s just how this works, when you self-publish and we all use the same stock photo sites. Said author, by the way, did not purchase the extended licenses required for exclusive rights to these photos.

Do we need another break for you to finish laughing and catch your breath?

Done?

All right then.

So basically, this author went full Kanye. Folks, you never go full Kanye. You never assume you’re such an original fucking snowflake that your genius requires attacking others to protect it at all costs—especially when your genius isn’t even original. The fact that this author went after authors with prior claim on titles and series with the word “cocky” in them says right then and there that she’s full of shite. She’s not the first; she’s not even the first to do something so asinine as actually trying to copyright and command use of a single fucking word. She honestly thinks others have been trying to ride on her coattails when, until this misstep, most of the romance community hadn’t even heard of her.

This isn’t protecting an original concept from those who would infringe on her brand through deceptive principles of unfair competition.

This is sheer entitlement, and an attempt to monopolize the market on flimsy grounds because there’s zero confidence you can maintain a foothold through fair market principles. It’s unethical use of trademark law loopholes. It’s manipulation of legal protections regarding unfair competition. It’s complete and utter fucking hubris.

And it’s bullying of the worst order. It’s costing so many self-published authors money, when they’re pushed into re-covering their books and losing out on sales time until they can be republished. All because they’re afraid of losing even more money to a lawsuit, even if it’s just the costs of defending a suit that can’t possibly hold water in court.

Look. There’s just…no grounds for this, at all. Sure, she can obtain a legal trademark, but she can’t in any sensible world enforce it. It’s a selfish, petty move.

The thing is, when you get petty with romance authors?

We turn around and show you that you are just a mewling babe in the dark who doesn’t yet know what petty truly is.

You don’t come for our own. Particularly the most vulnerable of us. Particularly when you claim to be a bestseller with a position of clout, making you someone who is punching down hard from a position more flimsy than you even realize.

Look. Overlap happens. Do you know how many books there are named FROM THE ASHES on Amazon? One of them is by an author who even has my fucking last name, and was published not long after the original edition of my FROM THE ASHES. I saw it. I laughed.

And I moved on, because her book was her book and my book was my book and it was up to each of us to make those books distinct.

Just like it’s up to this author to make her books distinct, and not cry foul and claim it’s use of a single everyday word that’s impacting her sales.

No.

If this is how you do business, if this is the kind of business sense you have, then I sincerely doubt this is what’s impacting your sales.

You might want to look a little closer to home for that.

And practice a little common decency while you’re at it.

Oh, and darling Cocky Author?

I won’t use your name. I won’t feed into your egomania, or the notoriety you seem to be enjoying with your snide, smug comments

But I dare you to say a damned thing about this book when satire and parody are protected by law, and what I’m satirizing with my title and series name is not only your books, but your undue arrogance in thinking you were the first to do anything in this industry of trailblazing women who have been breaking ground you’re lucky to walk on in their wake.

Come at me, bb.

Since I apparently know trademark law far better than you.

-C

P.S. Protip, before you waste any more money on that lawyer who led you into this sinking tar pit in the first place: satire and parody are also protected from defamation suits. But as a former comic you should know that. Shouldn’t you?