Jeremy

About an hour later, after all the kids were ‘wrangled together’ as Grammy Felicia put it, and we were all gathered near the pond, the family tradition started. A group of my cousins and uncles, and even my alpha dad, were all together about fifty feet away from the main group, and they all had shotguns in their hands. I couldn’t even look Alex in the eyes, I was so embarrassed. The reason I didn’t want to come to this shower was for this exact reason. I just knew my family was going to go full-on redneck.

“What’s going on?” Alex whispered in my ear. “There’s, like, ten guys with guns over there.”

I shifted back and forth on my feet and pressed both hands into my lower back. “I need to sit down. My back is killing me,” I said, trying to avoid answering the question.

Alex grabbed a folding lawn chair and helped me down, then crouched next to me and held my hand in both of his. “How are you doing?” he asked. The sweet, concerned look in his eyes made my heart sink. I couldn’t imagine what he was going to think of me after what was about to happen.

“I’m okay,” I said. “I’m just … I can’t believe they’re doing this.”

“Doing what? Come on, if it’s a family tradition it can’t be that bad.”

“You have no idea,” I said rolling my eyes.

“What’s gonna happen?” Alex asked, looking back at the group of smiling men who looked like they were just itching to pull the triggers on their shotguns.

“This is the gender reveal. You know, the thing they always do at baby showers. Well, you’re about to be introduced to a good, old-fashioned, redneck gender reveal.”

Just then my alpha pop asked for everyone to be quiet. But that just started up another round of cheering and whooping and hollering. But eventually, he got everyone quieted down enough to start on the countdown, and the whole crowd quickly joined in.

“Five … four … three … two … one … fire!”

Then the shots started. All of the men were aiming for a small wooden raft that had been pushed to the middle of the pond. A bunch of balloons had been tied to the raft and the aim was to pop the balloons. I guess some of the guys were a little out of practice because the water all around the raft was splashing as it was hit with stray bullets. Finally the balloons were hit, and within seconds every single one of them exploded into a massive tuft of pink confetti and smoke.

“It’s a girl!” Lucas yelled as he pumped the air with his fist. The rest of my family did pretty much the same thing, jumping in the air and pumping their fists and cheering. I never really understood all the excitement over the gender reveal. I was sure if blue confetti had come out the crowd would have reacted the exact same way.

A whole pack of my family came running up to the two of us and attacked us with bear hugs and back slaps. Well, they mostly attacked Alex because he was standing. I was still filled with a feeling of dread that Alex would finally come to his senses that this family was just too much.

But when I turned to look at him my heart felt a million times lighter. The look on his face as he got another wave of congratulatory slaps and hugs from my family made me so happy. He was grinning from ear to ear and he even got a little teared up when his dads and brother joined in to congratulate us one more time.

My dad and pop came and stood with us in the middle of the crowd and got everyone’s attention one more time. “As you all know, this fine young man has been working incredibly hard, helping us to thin out the trees on our land for the last couple of months. And, as a result, we’ve been able to pay off all our back taxes and put enough away to pay the entire bill for this coming year.”

Cheers erupted around us again, but my alpha pop put his hands up and quieted everyone down.

“And as I’m sure you also know by now, these two are starting a brand-new life together with a baby girl, and they need a place to raise a family. Hopefully a big family,” he said with a grin. “With the help of Alex’s family, we all chipped in together and bought them a brand-new double wide that they can put down right next to the old trailer.”

Everyone yelled and cheered again, but my pop had more to say.

“And, on top of that, a bunch of the family has agreed to pitch in to do all the work. Marty and Dan are pouring the foundation, Al and his son Joe are going to bring their backhoe and dig the hole for the septic, Jane and Eric have a plumbing business and have agreed to install everything as their part of the gift, and Barry and his sons are gonna do the electrical. And other folks here have offered up other things that we can use once we get the house placed on its foundation.”

I stared at our four dad’s in shock, then looked up at Alex. “Help me up,” I said, holding out my hand. Alex pulled me out of the chair and I made my way over to my dads. “I can’t believe this,” I said, giving both of them a hug. Then I turned to Alex’s dads and I couldn’t hold back my tears any longer. “This is beyond generous. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Say nothing,” Alex’s pop said. “We are the ones that want to thank you for bringing us a granddaughter and for making our Alexandro so happy. You’ve been so good for him these last months and we are thrilled to welcome you, and your lovely family, into ours.”

I didn’t know what to say, so I just hugged them all again until I heard the raspy voice of a woman in the crowd calling my name. I immediately knew who it was.

“Oh, my God, Jirrrmeeee! My baby nephew is having himself a baby girl!” my aunt Shirley wailed as she gave me a big hug and covered my face in wet kisses. “Oh, you sweet thing, you. You look like you’re about to pop. I can’t believe you didn’t tell your Aunt Shirley you were pregnant. All this time I could’ve been bragging to the girls down at the salon about my granddaughter!”

“Yeah, well, you still have another month until my due date to tell everyone,” I said, feeling how hot my face was. I loved my aunt Shirley but, oh, my God, she knew how to embarrass the hell out of me.

“You’re just gonna have to bring that little baby girl down so I can show her off. We could watch her all day. I’m sure she’d love hanging out with her Aunt Shirley and all of the girls at the salon. Maybe then I could finally get you to come back to work for me.”

“Aunt Shirley, this isn’t the time …” I said, hoping she would get the hint and stop talking.

“You know how long I’ve been wanting to get you to come back. You were one of the most natural stylists I’ve ever seen,” she said, clearly not hearing the warning tone in my voice. Then, to my horror, she looked at Alex and kept talking. “He hasn’t even been to school. He just picked it all up on his own. Isn’t that unbelievable?” she asked. “Oh, my Goodness, you’re Alex, aren’t you? My, my, aren’t you big and strong,” she said, patting his chest. “I’m Aunt Shirley.” She reached up and gave Alex a big hug, somehow smothering his giant body in her arms.

“Hello, Aunt Shirley,” Alex mumbled into her giant, bee-hive hair-do.

Thankfully, Uncle Jeffery called my aunt and she drifted off into the crowd again. But there I was, left with Alex staring at me with an incredulous look on his face.

“What was that all about?” he asked.

“Oh, when I was younger I worked at my Aunt Shirley’s salon after school for a while. But, that was years ago. Once I left Newtown I never went back.”

“Is that something you want to do? Work at a salon?”

“Yeah … sometimes … I guess,” I said sheepishly. “I mean, it’s not very manly, so I’ve never told anyone outside my family, but styling hair is something I’ve always loved to do. Go ahead and laugh.”

“I’m not going to laugh,” Alex said. “There’s nothing wrong with being a hair stylist. If it’s something you want to do you should do it. And it sounds like she’d love to have you.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” I said, putting my arms around Alex. “I don’t want to think about any of that until we have our house set up in the baby is born. I can’t believe how lucky we are,” I said, wrapping my hands around the back of Alex’s neck. “We’re gonna have a whole house.”

“I know. It’s amazing,” Alex said, kissing me on the lips, then pulling back and looking into my eyes. “Right now I feel like the luckiest guy in the world.”

After the shower things really started to move ahead quickly. There were cousins and aunts and uncles working seven days a week on our new house while Alex continued to help my dads with the trees. His brother and alpha pop even came over a few times to help out, and my dads were actually able to pay them, which made me feel so much better.

I spent most of my time practicing cooking and making decorations. We didn’t have a lot of money to spend on silly things, but I really wanted to get the house decorated for our little girl’s first Christmas. I found some second-hand light strings and made some paper ornaments, and when the living room was ready I put up a tree.

I made cookies and candy and other really homey foods, but the closer it came to my due date the more I started to crave things from when I was a kid, like the hamburgers, crinkle cut French fries, and milkshakes from Lew’s. So one Saturday I talked Alex into taking a drive into Portville to grab a burger and he was more than happy to do it. His truck was out in the field where he was using the winch to pull some stumps out of the ground, so we hopped into my truck and Alex drove us into town.

Well, Alex hopped, I had to be hoisted up and pushed in. If we still had the back hoe at the house that probably would have helped a lot, but it was just the two of us, so Alex had to do all the work himself. He got me going in the right direction, then used his hands, his shoulder, his back, and his legs to get me up into the passenger seat. He looked like he was about to pass out afterword, but, after we got to the burger joint and ate, I could tell he was happy he’d put in all the effort.

“Those are some of the best fries I’ve ever had,” Alex said as he walked me back out to the passenger side of my truck. He opened the door and looked at me for along time before he got me in position. “This is ridiculous,” he said as he pushed my ass with both hands. “You can’t even get in and out of this truck on your own anymore.”

“Yeah, I should probably think about selling it once the baby is born.”

“Thank God,” Alex said as he slammed the door shut.

I laughed as I watched Alex walked around the truck, but stopped short when I felt a weird pain in my belly. At first I thought maybe I head eaten too much, which wouldn’t have been far from the truth. But by the time Alex climbed in behind the steering wheel I realized what was going on. I was going into full-blown contractions. “Holy shit,” I said, gripping my belly. “I think the baby’s coming.”

“You’re kidding, right? You’re, like, a week early. That can’t be good.”

“From what I’ve read a week really isn’t that big of a deal … and no, I’m not kidding. I’ve never had anything like this happen before. It feels like I’m being sawed in half.” I pressed one hand onto my stomach and the other into my lower back but nothing helped. Another contraction came that took my breath away. “We need to get to the clinic, Alex.”

“Well, I guess it’s good we came into town today,” Alex said as he called the clinic to make sure they were ready for us. Then he started up the truck, hit the gas, and hightailed it into town, but as soon as we got on the S.E. side we hit standstill traffic.

“What’s going on?” I asked, gritting my teeth through another contraction.

“I think it’s the Christmas parade, and if it is, we are so screwed. Dusty Boulevard will be completely shut down for hours and that street cuts diagonally right through town. We need to figure out a way to get over to the Sunnyside neighborhood. Look on your phone and see if there’s a route we can take.” Alex got away from the crowded intersection and wove back and forth on some back streets.

When I looked up from my phone I realized we were just blocks away from our old neighborhood. “What are we doing over here?” I asked. I had no interest in seeing my old friend Joe, even if it was through the window of my truck.

“I haven’t been able to find a place to cross over to the other side of town yet. I can’t believe none of the major intersections are open. This is insane.”

“I guess they figured people wouldn’t be going anywhere on Saturday,” I said. Just then the truck started to lurch. “What’s wrong?” I watched Alex shift gears and pump the clutch and gas petal, but no matter what he did, the truck kept lurching. I was really starting to get worried. If we didn’t get to the clinic soon I knew I’d be having my baby in this truck.

“There’s something wrong! I think it’s with the gas line,” Alex said as he turned onto our old street. “I’m gonna see if Brian’s home.”

“No way! I don’t want to stop here!”

“We don’t have a choice, Jeremy. The truck is dying and we have to get you to the clinic.”

My poor truck limped along, sputtering and lurching and backfiring like crazy, then, right as we pulled up to Alex’s old house, it came to a pathetic, whining stop. Alex turned the key and tried to start it up a couple of times, but it was no use. My truck was dead.

Alex opened his door and grabbed the keys.

“What are you gonna do?” I asked.

“We’re gonna see if Brian is home. I’ll come around and help you down,” Alex said as he jumped out of the truck and ran around to my side.

The door flew open and Alex stood there with his hands out, waiting for me to slide down into them.

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. You got out just fine at the hamburger place. Just go slow and I’ll catch you.”

“I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“Who?” Alex asked. “Brian won’t care. He’s a really cool guy.”

“No, not him. My friend, Joe.”

“The one who called you the other day?”

“Yeah, him. He lives in that house right over there. He was the guy I used to stay with back when I worked in Portville. I would usually crash out on his couch a few nights a week.”

“Why don’t you want him to see you?” Alex asked, still waiting for me to jump down into his arms.

“Well, he’s … he’s kind of a dick … and I don’t want him to see me like this. And I really don’t want him to see you helping me out of my own truck. It would be humiliating.”

“I don’t give a shit about anyone who would judge you. If he shows up I’ll kick his ass. Now get out of there. We need to go.”

Of course, just as I slid out of my truck into Alex’s arms my worst nightmare came true. Joe’s pickup truck pulled up to the curb right behind mine.

“Oh, fuck,” I said under my breath to Alex. “It’s him.”

“Well, well, well, what the hell do we have here!” Joe said as he slammed his truck door shut and walked up to us. “You have got to be kidding me, Holtz. Tell me this is some kind of sick joke. That had better be a keg of beer under there. Or am I going to have to buy you a dress.”

“You better watch your mouth,” Alex said as he moved toward Joe. “I don’t know what the hell your problem is, but if you say one more word, I swear to God—”

I grabbed Alex’s arm, which was pulled back in a fist, and got him to drop it to his side. “I’ll handle this.” I turned back at Joe, and when my eyes met his I almost started laughing. I wasn’t as scared as I thought I would be. In fact, I wasn’t scared of him at all. He looked like a pathetic coward that was only as threatening as his insults.

“So, what? You’re an omega now? And you’re pregnant? And you’re with this Mexican dude? What the hell happened to you, man?”

“He’s not Mexican,” I said calmly. “He’s Puerto Rican and he’s the father of my baby, so show a little respect.”

“Ooh, sorry, Jeremy. When the hell did you become so politically correct? Mexican, Puerto Rican, whatever. It’s all the same.”

I could feel Alex tense up next to me again and I almost punched that jackass myself. It’s entirely possible that if I hadn’t been in labor right then I would have. But I knew I didn’t have time for his bullshit. “It’s not all the same, but an ignorant ass like you wouldn’t know the difference. And you know what? You’re not even worth the breath it would take to explain it to you. You’re just a loudmouthed loser and I couldn’t care less what you think. Get the hell outta my sight,” I said as I grabbed Alex’s arm and headed up to his old house.

“Oh yeah? Well, fuck you!” was all I heard Joe yell, but I didn’t respond or look back or give him any more of my energy. He definitely wasn’t worth it.

“That was awesome,” Alex said as he helped me up the stairs. “You’re my hero.”

“But I didn’t do anything.”

“Yeah, you did. You stood up to your friend and you didn’t even resort to violence. In my book, that makes you a super hero.”

“Well, I sure wish one of my superhero powers was flying so I could get to the goddamn clinic. I swear to God, I’m about to have this baby any second.”

“Yeah, shit, I hope Brian’s home.”

When the door opened and I saw the look on Alex’s friend’s face my heart sank. This guy knew who I was, and he did not look thrilled to see me at all. He let us inside and he and Alex talked while I made my way over to the couch. I could barely stand, and sitting down didn’t feel much better. What I really needed was to lay down and the hard, wooden floor looked so comfortable, so I slid right off the couch and lowered my ass onto the floor.

“What are you doing down there?” Alex asked.

“Look, my back is killing me. This is the most comfortable I’ve been in the last fifteen minutes, so just let me lie down here for a while.”

“Okay, but we’re gonna have a hell of a time getting you back up off the floor,” Alex said, kneeling down next to me and rubbing my belly.

“Oh, man. I didn’t even think about that,” I said as I stared, wide-eyed at the ceiling. I tried rolling to one side and that didn’t work, so I tried rolling to the other. “I can’t even move from side to side. I can’t move Alex! I can’t get up! How the hell am I gonna get up?”

“Don’t worry, honey. We’ll get you up. I promise.”

“But how? Look at me! My belly is so huge now I can’t roll over!” I yelled as I tried futilely to roll from one side to the other. When I looked back up at Alex’s face he was stifling a smile. “I’m trapped down here and you’re laughing at me? I’m like a bug on the side of one of those extermination trucks! I’m gonna be stuck like this forever! I’m gonna die here on this floor like a crumpled-up bug!”

“Oh, my God, Jeremy,” Alex said, busting into laughter. “You’re not gonna die. You’re having a baby. And we are gonna get you up.”

Just then Brian and another pregnant dude walked into the living room and I lost it. I had no idea what was going on and I was terrified I was going to be stuck like this forever. “Please, help me. I don’t want to have my baby down here,” I said, tears streaming down my face.