Chapter 3

FORD

I pounded my fists into the old punching bag over and over, and each punch brought the vision of Lucky and his fiancée laughing, their arms entwined like they were made for each other. They certainly looked like they fit in some woman’s magazine, the perfect couple, her with her perfectly styled hair, designer clothes, and let’s not forget that stick up her arse. Again and again, I pummelled my fists into the bag. How the hell was Lucky attracted to that? I mean the guy was not exactly the boy next door. Bryce was no choir boy, and although he came from a good Catholic family with money, that was it. He had skills with a knife that could make your head spin with his speed and accuracy, and he was the only one in our old team who could rival me in the martial arts department.

I felt a smile touch my lips. Damn, our fights were legendary. We would get into it on a regular basis while waiting for orders, driving Darth crazy, too. The big prick got good at pulling us off one another when a sparring session got too heated, which was most of the time. Bryce pissed me off with his refusal to admit who he really was, instead choosing to keep up the charade that he was normal. The only time the real Bryce came out was in the cover of darkness in a far-off room on the FOB. Those moments had been few and far between, but when I got him there… fuck me, the man knew how to make me burn.

I groaned low in my throat, my dick suddenly hard as a pipe. All it took was one thought, one memory of his hands, his mouth, those sexy sounds he made when I—

“Fucking arsehole prick,” I shouted. Maybe I just needed to get laid. My last sexual encounter had been one big clusterfuck. I hadn’t been able to get into it even though the guy was good-looking enough, built bigger than— Well, he wasn’t what I usually went for. We fumbled around for a while, or I fumbled was more to the point. I ended up leaving after an awkward attempt to get hard, annoyed as hell that only one man did it for me. A man I hadn’t had in my arms for over two years. A man who was presently out in the main room pretending to be the good straight boy his wealthy parents expected him to be. Waiting for him to get over his motorcycle club phase and take his place in the family business.

Bryce’s family hated his involvement in the club as much as they hated his service in the military. One thing they hated more was me. My existence in their son’s life threatened the perfect, wholesome image they wanted to portray. After all, what businessman who excelled in making money on the stock market, lined the pockets of politicians, and yet still managed to look perfect every Sunday morning in church wanted their eldest son to be gay?

“You know, Ford, if you keep hitting the bag like that, Booth is going to have to replace it.”

I spun around and saw Stella standing in the doorway to the gym, her young son in her arms. Gabriel was nearly asleep, his grey eyes—all thanks to his old man—blinked open then closed, fighting sleep. Also, all his dad.

“Hey, Stells, what ya doing here? Does your man know where you are?” I laughed at my last question.

Stella raised her eyebrows and smiled.

“Doesn’t he always?” she replied knowingly. We both knew there wasn’t a minute when Booth didn’t know the whereabouts of his wife. “I was on my way to put this little man down for a nap when I heard the pounding. You know the whole reason behind a family get-together is to be together, hon,” Stella stated quietly.

I nodded my head, not looking at her in the eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was sit and drink while Bryce and his Stepford Wife-to-be mauled each other. Fuck that shit.

“Okay, tech man, come with me,” Stella said firmly, her free hand reaching out and grabbing my wrapped hand.

I ignored the nickname and allowed myself to be led out of the gym and down the corridor, which led to the suite of rooms that housed my brothers and their families. We stopped halfway down at the door to Deck and Charlotte’s room. I walked in behind Stella and found the room full of the club’s women.

“Something tells me I am about to be flocked,” I said in a grave tone, my comment making all the women laugh.

“Oh, I like that. I think a T-shirt is in order,” Mia announced around a bubble of laughter.

I sighed heavily. Mia was the T-shirt queen, and I was her personal print master. Which meant, some major screen printing was in my future because all of them were going to want one of their own. And not just tees. I imagined hoodies and all sorts of things were going to have ‘You’ve been flocked’ printed on them. Shiloh was going to have a field day with this saying.

“Okay, ladies, what’s up?” I asked. Instead of an answer, I received five feminine versions of a chin lift. Jesus Christ almighty! Their men had a lot to answer to.

“Why aren’t you out in the main room enjoying the festivities?” Charlotte was the first to ask. But I knew better than to answer just yet. Nope, I knew there was more to come, and I was right when Rainn spoke up.

“Why are you being a pussy, Ford? Man up and find your balls.”

“Seriously, Ford, you should go out there and go get him,” Mia told me firmly.

“Where?” Memphis demanded.

I hung my head, my chin hitting my chest, and mumbled the only response that would see this interrogation end as soon as possible.

“Five steps straight ahead,” I said, resigned. I waited for my road captain’s wife to make her way to me so she could do her thing.

Her hands found my jaw and gently lifted my head before she traced her fingers from my mouth to my eyebrows and everything in between. Memphis had a unique way to look into a person’s soul like a sixth sense or something. Even without sight, Memphis knew everything there was to know about a person. It was a little disconcerting, and I didn’t let her do it much. Or rather, I tried not to let her, but it was hard to say no to a blind woman, my tough and protective road captain’s blind woman.

“You need to go tell him, Ford. It’s not fair for either of you to miss out on what you really want,” Memphis said seriously, her fingers resting on my wrinkled brow—wrinkled because what the fuck!

I put my hands on top of her small ones, stopping her exploration and looked pointedly at each of the women, who all wore sad smiles.

“Ladies, I appreciate what you are trying to do, really I do, but this is a situation that can’t be fixed with a lap dance, a drunken sex party, or with a caramel-slice–eating marathon.” I paused for a minute and reached over to take Gabe from Stella’s arms. The sleeping baby barely moved when I transferred him from his mother to my arms.

“I will put him to bed, Stells. You all go back and enjoy the party. I’m sure your men have noticed your absence by now,” I said knowingly. Fuck, it wouldn’t surprise me if those blokes didn’t have a GPS implanted somewhere on their wives. I secretly envied what my brothers had, openly loving relationships without guilt or shame.

“Ford—” Charlotte said.

Reaching out with my free hand and grasping Charlotte’s hand in mine, I cut her off before she could give me advice on my non-existent love-life. All my brothers knew I was gay. I never hid it from them and wasn’t ashamed of it. The women never said anything about it before now, but I knew they worked it out when they never saw me interested in any of the ladies who hung out at the club’s parties. How they worked out I was interested in Lucky was just one of those special superpowers the flock had that I had no interest in finding out about.

“Teach, please, just no. I understand you care about me, and I love you all for it, but Lucky is getting married to Ava. He isn’t ready to admit anything and probably never will be,” I said quietly so I didn’t wake the boy in my arms. Inside, I was a ball of anxiety. Seeing Bryce with Ava today was hard enough, but having to watch him get married, that was going to rip my heart out. He was it for me—my one. I couldn’t see a future that didn’t have Bryce in it, but I was going to have to. He made up his mind years ago when he told me whatever we had wouldn’t be going any further once we got back to Australia. His family had a certain standard in the community, and politics and money did not go with a gay son. A bubble of rage simmered deep in my belly every time I thought of Bryce’s stuck-up family. When he got shot, all they cared about was the great publicity it would bring them. Their military son, risking his life for our great country. Bull-fucking-shit! They hated his career choice, and when they saw me at the hospital in Sydney, his bastard prick of a father had me thrown out. Three fucking security guards marched me right out of the place, and it was fucking humiliating.

I only got to see Bryce for a short time. I couldn’t help myself from going. A few of the guys had gone to see him, but I stayed back because, well, because I had been a coward. I ended up getting on my bike and headed to Sydney to see him. It was a very short visit. No one would let me see him officially, but I managed to sneak into his room just long enough to see he was pretty banged up but was going to be okay. His parents hadn’t wanted me there, nor did his new fiancée, so I left, leaving my heart, too.

It turned out to be a short recovery for him, and he came back to the club, which surprised me. I had been sure his family would win out and talk him into joining the family empire. On reflection, it would have been better if he had. Seeing him every day at the compound and not being able to touch him was pure torture. My only recourse was to respect his wishes and watch him playing happily with Ava.

“Okay, Ford. If you really don’t mind, I appreciate you settling Gabe down for a sleep,” Stella said gently. Her face was sad, but I could see the acquiescence, her pretty hazel eyes sad.

“You know I love this little man. All the kids think I’m the coolest uncle,” I said smugly, halting any further discussion on the subject.

Without another word, I made a quick getaway, taking the corridor to Booth and Stella’s suite that led me away from the main room. I had just about reached my limit of bullshit today, plus the conversation I had with Shiloh earlier at the park was still playing on my mind. I needed to think of a way to broach the subject with Deck. That was going to be a fun conversation.