Chapter 15
This is a disaster. A complete mess.
I try to dig the tips of my fingers under the pastry dough but it refuses to pull away from the marble slab. It’s too sticky, even though I’m sure I added enough flour. I sigh and grab a pastry cutter to start scraping it up. I’ll have to start again. Again.
This is my third batch of dough today and all of them have turned out equally bad. Though they’ve all turned out bad in distinctly different ways — too hard, too dry, and now too sticky — so I guess at least that’s been a nice change.
Chef Ingrid has left me blissfully alone all class, even though I can feel her eyes on me. It’s not like me to screw up this much, and she knows it.
Not that I can tell her why I’m so off my game. “Sorry, Chef, I found out this weekend that my father embezzled millions of dollars. Oh, and I might be in love with the man who took the fall for him.”
Yeah, I’m sure that would go over real well.
I throw my dough back in the mixing bowl. Maybe I can try adding more flour before I scrap it completely.
After a few more attempts, I finally get a pie in the oven, but when it comes out I can tell just by looking at it that the crust is off. It doesn’t puff up the way it should, and instead of being a nice even golden color, it’s white in some spots and dark brown, almost black, in others. I take one bite just to be sure — yup, hard as a rock — and toss the entire thing in the trash.
Maybe Monday will be better.
It’s been an entire week since I last saw Jacob, and I haven’t stopped thinking about him for more than a few minutes at a time. I want to hate him. I should hate him.
I don’t hate him.
I don’t know what to do with that feeling though, so I stuff it down inside the way I’ve been doing all week. The same way I did when Mom died.
I bury it so deep it can’t hurt me.
Except this time, it doesn’t work. Memories of Jacob’s voice, of his touch, of his laugh, of his scent — they surface every few minutes, and each one pierces that layer of protection. Each one makes it harder to forget.
I shove my books down into my bag and storm angrily out of the classroom. I can feel Chef Ingrid’s eyes on me, but I don’t bother looking back. I don’t want to see the disappointment in her eyes.
I make my way through the halls and finally burst out the door and onto the front steps. I take a few deep breaths and try to force myself to calm down.
That’s when I see him.
The dark suit stands out, and even with sunglasses on, I recognize him immediately.
“Kristoff. What are you doing here?” I clutch my bag to my chest and try to keep my eyes from roaming the parking lot, looking for Jacob’s Escalade. Is he here?
Kristoff nods his head. “Hello ma’am. Mr. Bradley asked me to come pick you up.”
“Oh, he did, did he?” That means he’s not here. I can’t decide whether I’m happy about that or not.
“Yes, ma’am. Will you come with me?”
“No.”
Kristoff does a double-take. I’m sure he wasn’t expecting that response.
“He was pretty insistent,” he points out.
That almost makes me smile. “I’m sure he was.”
Kristoff isn’t smiling anymore. In fact, he seems to be sweating.
“I mean, he was very insistent.” His voice is pointed.
“Please tell him, then, that I’m very busy.”
Kristoff knots his hands together nervously. “I really think I have to bring you with me, ma’am. I… I might lose my job otherwise.”
I blink at him. I can’t decide if he’s serious or if he’s just trying to manipulate me into getting in the car with him.
The truth is, I want to say yes. I want to see Jacob. I want to feel his hands in my hair, the way he tugs at my locks, just hard enough to make my scalp tingle. I want to feel his lips against my neck, his warm breath sending shivers down my spine. I want to feel his muscular arms around me, making me feel safe and protected.
I don’t want to, but I do.
“Fine,” I say crossly to Kristoff. “I’ll go.”
“Oh, good.” He looks relieved, but there’s also the trace of a smile on his face. I shake my head and follow him to the SUV.
We head downtown, and I’m expecting him to drop me off at Jacob’s building, but instead we keep going, towards the Flatiron district. Kristoff pulls the car up in front an old building. I don’t even have to look up at the sign to realize where we are. My heart does a funny little skipping thing as I let Kristoff open the door for me.
I step out onto the sidewalk and take a deep breath before I step inside the restaurant.
I spot Jacob right away. It isn’t hard, since he’s the only person in the restaurant, except for a smiling hostess.
“You must be Lily,” she says. “Let me show you to your table. Your other party is already here.”
I don’t bother telling her that I can see exactly where my other party is. Instead I follow her through the empty restaurant. As soon as we arrive at Jacob’s table, he stands, and the hostess discreetly disappears.
“Lily,” Jacob says. His voice is warm and rich and it sends a bolt of longing through my entire body. “I’m so glad you came.”
“You have to stop doing this,” I tell him, trying to sound stern.
His smile falters a little. “Stop doing what?”
“Renting out entire restaurants,” I say with a grin. “It’s highly unnecessary.”
He laughs, and the sound is like pure sex.
“Sit. Please.” He pulls out the chair opposite him and waits for me to sit before he returns to his own seat.
“Would you like a glass of wine?”
I shake my head.
“Water’s fine.” I really want to be clear-headed for this. I look down at my lap for a minute, then back at Jacob. “I can’t believe you remembered.”
He smiles. “Of course I remembered. When the most beautiful girl you’ve ever met tells you she’s dying to go to Trenta, you remember. You file it away so you can impress her someday.”
I bite my lip, holding back a grin. “Well, thank you. I’m certainly impressed.”
He nudges a menu towards me. “What do you recommend?”
I don’t even have to look. “The kiwi tart with coconut caviar is supposed to be amazing. They also do these macarons with edible gold leaf and cinnamon champagne jelly. Oh, and the chocolate and rosewater soufflé, of course.”
Jacob laughs. “Would you like to eat real food first, or just dessert?”
I bite back a smile. “Just dessert.”
“Good,” he grins. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
A server appears, as ghostlike and quiet as the one who’d served us at Babylon, and we order one of almost everything on the dessert menu.
For the next half hour, we don’t do much besides eat. Well, at least I eat. Jacob picks at his food. Every time I look up, I find him watching me, considering me with the same soft smile. Maybe I should be embarrassed about the way I’m inhaling my food, but I’ve wanted to come here for years and everything tastes as glorious as I imagined it would.
Besides, every minute I spend eating is an extra minute I don’t have to face Jacob and the conversation I know we need to have.
Except, in true gourmet fashion, the portions are tiny and we seem to go through everything in record time. When the last of our plates are cleared away, I know there’s no more stalling.
I twist my napkin in my hands, waiting to see which of us will break the silence first.
But Jacob doesn’t say anything. Instead, he reaches across the table and takes my hand in his.
His touch is like a lick of fire across my skin. Almost instantly, the flames threaten to consume me. I shift in my seat. I want to look away, but his blue eyes bore into me.
“Lily,” he starts, then shakes his head. “God, Lily, this week has been the worst of my life. Worse than the three years I spent in prison. Knowing that you were hurting — that I had hurt you — it’s been unbearable.”
I look up at him through my lashes. “You did hurt me. But so did he.”
Jacob shakes his head. “I know. And I won’t make excuses for him. He’ll face his own judgement. But I want to take responsibility for my own part in this.”
He takes a deep breath and squeezes my hand. “I was an asshole,” he says. “I really was. I didn’t understand everything your dad was going through, and so all I could think about was getting back at him. Making him pay. And yes, you seemed like a good way to do that.”
He flashes me a half smile. I don’t want to smile back but I can’t help it. He squeezes my hand again.
“You’re beautiful, Lily. And I used to see you waltzing around that office, and God — you drove me wild. With those long legs and that sweet smile and that body…”
He trails off, shaking his head. I have to smile.
“Don’t forget the cookies,” I add.
He chuckles. “Yes. Definitely the cookies.” He takes a sip from his glass of water, as if he’s trying to decide what to say next. He finally reaches across the table and takes my other hand in his.
“Lily, you’re so much more than that, though. More than the legs and the smile and even the cookies. This started out being about your father, but that’s so not even…” He takes a deep breath and looks deeply into my eyes. “I love you, Lily Prescott. I want to be your first, your last, your only. I want to be the one you wake up next to. The one you tell your troubles to, the one you share your joys with. The one you test your recipes on.”
He flashes me another grin. There isn’t an ounce of hesitation in his expression, not a whiff of uncertainty in his voice. His eyes shine and he has the sweetest smile on his face.
My own hesitations seem to drift away. Despite where we started, Jacob and I have grown together. And maybe we can be bigger than where we came from.
My face breaks into a smile. I can’t help it. Because Jacob’s words have made me realize something.
“I love you too,” I say. I don’t care how we started; all I care about is where we are now.
His grin broadens. He stands up out of his chair abruptly.
“I’m going to kiss you right now.”
He pulls me up out of my seat so quickly that it makes my head spin. He pushes me up against the wall beside our table, and then runs his hands through my hair. For a minute, he just looks into my eyes. I feel like he can see all the way into my soul.
I hold my breath until it finally happens. He crushes his lips against mine, claiming my mouth. He slips his tongue past my lips, tasting all of me. My entire body responds immediately, melting against him.
He keeps me pinned between his body and the wall. One hand is threaded through my hair while his other one roams across my skin. My flesh burns as I fall deeper into the kiss.
His knee rides between my thighs and I moan into his mouth. I realize how badly I want him, and judging by the way I can feel his hardness pressing against me, I’m thinking the feeling is mutual.
I grind my hips against him and trail my fingers along his cheek. All I want is for him to…
“Let me take you home,” he murmurs, his mouth pressed against the side of my lips.
“Yes, please.” He doesn’t need to tell me that he means his home and not mine this time. I can tell by the way he holds me that he won’t let me go tonight.
—
Jacob drives like a madman through Manhattan, racing to his penthouse in record time. I don’t complain, because I don’t want to wait another minute longer. My body buzzes the entire way there, and it isn’t because of our breakneck speed.
Once we get to his building, he hurries me into the elevator. As soon as the door pings closed behind us, his hands are on me again.
The heat of his body against me melts me as easily as if I were candle, as if I were a pat of butter or a square of chocolate. His mouth on mine is hungry, devouring me.
When the elevator doors open in his foyer, neither of us notice. We’re too caught up in the kiss, and it isn’t until the doors are opening and closing over and over again that we pull apart, laughing and breathless.
“Come on,” he says. He scoops me up into his arms and I let out a breathless shriek. I laugh all the way to his bedroom, until he throws me down on the bed and hovers over me, the same way he did that very first time.
I stop laughing. All I can think about is finally getting to be with him. I don’t want to waste another minute.
“Kiss me, Jacob,” I whisper.
He climbs over me, straddling my thighs. I can see the outline of his cock through his pants, and all I can think about is how it’s going to be inside me soon. I shiver with anticipation.
Jacob leans over and grazes his lips against mine. Then he trails his mouth lower, along my jawline, down my neck, across my chest. His hands are moving over my stomach, sliding up under my t-shirt.
I sit up just enough that he can strip my shirt off, and then he reaches behind and unclasps my bra with one hand. I fall backwards onto the pillow again as he resumes kissing my chest. His hands cup my breasts, and he runs his thumbs over my nipples. Then he leans his head down and cups his lips over one tiny bud.
My head goes back involuntarily and a soft moan escapes my lips. My body bends towards him, my hips coming right off the bed. Jacob’s hand skims over my stomach and finds the waist band of my jeans. He pops open the button and then yanks the pants down over my hips. I have a moment of panic, trying to remember what underwear I put on this morning, but Jacob strips them off me before I can even form a clear picture.
He sits back on his heels and just looks at me for a minute. Just. Looks. At. Me. Without even touching me, he makes my entire body burn. He leans his head down and starts kissing me again, trailing his lips across my breasts, my stomach, my hips. He moves closer to my crest and I squirm underneath him.
He chuckles against my skin, and the vibration drives me wild.
My breath quickens as he moves further down my body, finally nudging my thighs apart. I whimper as I feel his warm breath against me, and the soft trail of his lips across my sex.
My hips are already lifting off the bed, trying to get closer to him, but he uses his strong hands to pin me in place. He plants a soft kiss right over my clit and I gasp.
“Oh God, Jacob.” I twist the sheets in my fists as he holds me there. His tongue slowly circles my clit. My body trembles.
“You taste so goddamn sweet, Lily,” he groans, as he covers me with his tongue. “No one in the world has ever tasted this sweet.”
I can’t answer. My legs are shaking as he sucks at my clit and runs his teeth along my lips. When he makes his tongue stiff and runs it along the sensitive spot under my clit, I lose my mind.
“Jacob,” I pant, clutching the sheets still, nearly ripping them off the bed.
“Come for me, sweetheart,” he says, in between licks. “I want you to come all over my face.”
“Oh God.” His filthy words are making me ache. There’s a longing deep inside me and I clench around nothing, my pussy spasming with pleasure. “Oh Jacob.”
The pressure builds until I can’t hold it in any longer. It explodes through my body, pleasure coursing through my limbs. My fingers clutch, my toes curl. My hips buck up against Jacob’s lips as he continues his assault on my pussy. He doesn’t stop until the last waves have subsided, until I can barely handle the pressure of his tongue against my aching clit.
I grab his arm and pull him up towards me. He kisses me, and I don’t even mind that I can taste my juices all over his face. His enthusiasm makes it sexy, somehow.
“Don’t make me wait, Jacob,” I pant. “Not another minute.” I’ve already waited too long. It feels like I’ve waited a lifetime.
He growls, letting out a rumbling sound that emanates from deep in his throat.
In seconds, he’s stripped off his shirt and is fumbling with his pants. His cock springs free, thick and hard and heavy. I gasp. I still can’t quite believe it’s all going to fit, but this time I’m so ready, I’m willing to die trying.
“I can’t wait to bury myself inside you,” Jacob groans. His hand is around his shaft, and he strokes it a couple of times before positioning himself between my legs. He rubs the tip over my lips, mixing our juices, and even that feels so exquisite that my body starts to tremble again.
“Jacob,” I whimper.
“Yes?” He pauses, a teasing grin on his face.
“I’m ready.”
He growls and moves his cock down to my entrance. I can feel his head pushing against me. My stomach tightens. I brace myself.
“Relax, Lily,” he says. “I’ll go as slow as you want… this time,” he adds with a sly grin.
I take a deep breath and nod. I think I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.
Jacob gazes into my eyes as he pushes his hips forward. There’s a slight sharp shock as he slides past my entrance. He watches me to make sure I’m okay, and I nod.
“Yes,” I pant. “Keep going.”
He groans and pushes forward. I feel myself stretching to accommodate him, still afraid that somehow this isn’t going to work.
But in fact, he fits perfectly. His thick cock fills me fully, completely, like we were meant to be together, like this. Like we were meant to be one.
I wrap my legs around his hips, pulling him deeper inside me. His rocks his hips against me, and the friction moves something deep inside me. It’s a tectonic shift. The rush is as sudden as a dam breaking. My body arcs against him as he keeps thrusting.
“Jacob,” I manage to squeak out. “Oh my God.”
For once he doesn’t have a cocky retort. He looks as blown away as I do. It’s even more intense now than when he had his mouth on me. This feels like a whole new kind of pleasure. Like an undiscovered country. His hips are still thrusting against me, and his movements get more frantic as we both move towards climax.
I want to close my eyes, just to get an ounce of relief, but I can’t look away from him. His blue eyes bore into me, taking me away. Time moves in slow motion. I’m exquisitely aware of every sensation, every breath, every microsecond that passes.
Jacob reaches one hand down between our bodies and finds my clit. My body convulses almost instantly, shaking and shuddering. I let out a wail as he keeps thumbing my button, and then…
I shatter. Into a million pieces. I fall apart underneath him. Convulsions wrack my body, violent and staggering in their strength.
Jacob holds onto me, his body cradling mine as he keeps fucking me.
“Jesus, Lily,” he groans, as my pussy clenches around him again and again. He thrusts again, twice, three times, and then he explodes inside me. I can feel him filling me, draining himself into me.
It seems to take whole minutes, hours maybe, for either of us come down.
Finally, Jacob’s pants turn into a deep chuckle. He kisses my neck.
“That was…” he trails off.
“So much better than cheesecake,” I exclaim breathlessly.
He laughs again, shaking his head. “I have no idea what that means, but coming from you, I’ll take it as a compliment.”
I turn his head, finding his lips with mine. “Yes. It definitely is.”
He rolls over onto his back and pulls me with him.
“I love you, Lily Prescott,” he says, burying his words in my hair.
“I love you too, Jacob Bradley.”
I snuggle down into his powerful arms, feeling safe and loved, and that’s the sweetest feeling of all.