I got into my car and drove, filled with a building rage I couldn’t quell. Maybe it was the mention of my ex, that bastard, or maybe it was the fear at the idea of being put in prison. Maybe it was just that asshole Ethan who seemed to find all my buttons and press them mercilessly. I didn’t know or care. All that mattered was getting away from that office, away from the mess my life had become
Although Cody was waiting for me and I knew I should head home, I couldn’t make myself do it. I was still so mad. My body trembled with anger and I knew my cheeks were stained with tears. I used that as justification for not going straight home to Cody. After all, he was six, not stupid. He’d know just by looking at me that something was wrong.
So I found myself driving around aimlessly before finally coming to a stop outside of an apartment building that wasn’t mine. Instead, it was Jessie’s.
I stared at it for a while, still behind the wheel, before deciding to get out and head up.
Jessie had asked for the night off so she could hang out with a couple of girlfriends of hers that were in town for the weekend. I’d granted it to her so I knew if she was even home, she would still be with them.
It wasn’t right of me to bug her with my problems when she was having a fun girl’s night out—or in—but I didn’t have a lot of friends. I had Jessie and that was about it.
Deciding it was okay to be selfish given the circumstances, I headed up the three flights of stairs to Jessie’s apartment. The elevator was broken. Again. Standing outside her door, I paused.
From inside I could hear the thrumming of semi-loud music and the carefree laughter of women who had probably already had a drink or two.
Raising my fist, I knocked on the door. When no one answered, I knocked again. I was about to knock for a third time when the door opened to reveal a scantily clad Jessie. She was rosy cheeked and grinning, though her eyes looked focused and clear. I hoped she was still sober.
“Diana! Are you taking a night off, too?” she asked, her eyes sparking with excitement. “Come in, come in!”
I let her usher me in, knowing that I was about to her plans for the night.
“You want a drink?”
I shook my head. “No. How many have you had?” Not that I cared, but I wanted to know if I was going to be dealing with a babbling, can’t keep her voice down Jessie or the sharp, sober one that I needed right now.
She waved off my question. “I’ve had half a beer. I am high on music and dancing!”
I could see why. The little apartment was full of a half dozen women, all around Jessie’s age, and each dancing away to music I couldn’t stand to listen to. They were dressed like Jessie, short skirts, low cut tops, makeup done to perfection. They looked good, but definitely like they belonged at a club, not at home.
“Can we talk for a minute?”
Maybe it was the tone of my voice or just the question itself, but Jessie’s smile dropped and she stopped to really look at me. She frowned at whatever she found on my face. “Have you been crying?”
I felt angry tears build again and nodded.
She took me by the shoulder and led me to her bedroom. Clothes were strewn everywhere, her bed was unmade, and there were mismatched heels by the edge of her bed.
“Sorry about the mess,” she briefly apologized, then threw the comforter back to sort of smooth out the bed. She plopped down and patted the mattress beside her to encourage me to do the same. “Tell me what happened.”
I dropped down on the bed and unloaded on her. I told her about Tommy and then I told her about Ethan. “He’s an ass. An unbelievable ass. I mean, after everything I’ve done for him, he wants more? Now he wants my life?”
I looked to Jessie, expecting her to have the same indignant expression that I suspected was on my own face. But instead, I found her frowning a little.
“What?” I demanded.
She lifted her bare shoulders in a shrug. “Nothing. He’s totally an ass.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “But…?” I prompted.
“It’s just that…well, none of this is exactly news, you know?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He’s always been an ass, Diana. Why are you surprised he’s being an ass this time?”
I opened my mouth to argue with her, then snapped it closed abruptly. I opened it again, but once more I found I had nothing to say against her reasoning. She was right. Ethan had always been an ass. Manipulative. Demanding. Unyielding. All qualities that made him a shark of a businessman and a hell of a sexual partner.
Not that that was the point.
Was it?
“I…I just…” I trailed off before letting my shoulders slump and finally saying, “I guess I expected more of him.”
Jessie tilted her head to the side, giving me the kind of sympathetic smile a mother gives her daughter. One that says, honey, we’ve all been with the wrong man but it’s time to kick this one to the curb. “Look, I don’t understand all of the gory details and I don’t want to. But I’ll tell you now what I told you before: go to the cops. Ethan isn’t going to save you. He’ll just drag you down, because that’s what he does. Do what’s good for you, Diana, not him.”
I nodded, though I was still reeling a little. Ethan had been manipulating me this whole time.
The money for repairs had been a ploy.
The almost date-like dinner at the Mexican place had been a means to an end.
The sex that brought me to incredible orgasm—nothing more than a quick and dirty road to satisfaction. His satisfaction.
“You’re right,” I told her as I stood. “I’m sorry for interrupting your party.” I waved towards the door where her friends continued to dance on the other side.
She waved off my apology. “Don’t worry about it. The night’s still young. You wanna stay?”
I shook my head. I wanted to go home to my son, to where there was some semblance left of who I was. “No, I’ve got to go get Cody. He’s with Mrs. Rogers right now.”
“All right. Well, if you need me, give me a call. I’ll be up. And, seriously, Diana, call the police.”
I told her I’d think about it, though some part of me still knew the cops weren’t an option. She walked me to the door, through the crowd that tried to drag us onto the impromptu dance floor. Jessie embraced me, holding me for a minute and murmured, “Be careful, hon.”
“I will.”
Then I left. As the door closed behind me and I headed down the stairs, I admitted to myself the truth.
I expected more from Ethan, because I wanted more from him. But all I was ever going to get was a drug dealer who wanted to use me as a sex toy.
# # #
Standing on Mrs. Rogers’s doorstep, I reminded myself that Cody was the only man in my life who mattered.
I knocked and waited.
A few seconds later, an older woman with graying hair that was tinted a silvery blue answered the door. She had a weathered face and a kind smile—the kind of lady you imagine has twenty grandkids and knits afghans in her spare time. “Oh, Diana, dear. How are you?”
I smiled big. It still felt fake, almost achy on my face, but it wasn’t angry or harsh at least. “Good. Sorry to be so late. Work was madness today.”
“Was it an inventory night?” she asked pleasantly.
I froze, then remembered that inventory didn’t automatically mean drugs. There were plenty of other things that I received and stored in my back storage spaces that didn’t belong to Ethan. I nodded a little too late. “Yeah. It’s been brutal. How’s Cody?”
“An absolute delight,” she told me, practically glowing with affection. “He reminds me of my own boy when he was a little thing. Asks about a thousand questions and is just sweet as pie. But Tommy so rarely stops by these days, that devil.”
“You should get on him about that. Boys shouldn’t forget their mothers,” I told her.
She laughed. “You’re right, of course.” Then she waved her hands about like she had a sudden spasm, looking horrified. “Oh, I haven’t even invited you in! What sort of batty old lady am I?”
Shaking my head a little, I told her it was fine. “I really just need to pick up Cody and head home. It’s so late already.”
“Of course, of course. I’ll get him, but please do come in.”
I obliged and stepped inside, though I lingered near the door. A moment later, Mrs. Rogers came around the corner with her old wrinkled hand wrapped around Cody’s tiny one.
“Momma!” he cried and released Mrs. Rogers’s hand to run straight for me.
I knelt down to catch him as he flung his arms around my middle.
He held me like he hadn’t seen me in months and I held him just as tight.
“Did you have a good time?” I asked when we finally let each other go.
He grinned at me. “Yeah! I got two cookies tonight and she let me watch Pound Puppies. It was great.”
I shook my head a little. “Two cookies?” I glanced up at Mrs. Rogers who smiled innocently and shrugged her frail shoulders. I laughed a little. “Well, then I guess you’ve had plenty of sugar tonight. Did you get your homework done?”
He nodded his head. “Yep. Mrs. Rogers said I had to even though it’s Friday.”
“Good.”
I straightened up, still holding Cody’s hand. “Thank you again.”
“Any time,” she assured me.
We said our goodbyes and I walked Cody home. When we got there, I pulled out the board games and dragged him into a never-ending game of Mousetrap. We kept having to cheat because the cage refused to fall even when we did everything right. But that didn’t matter. We ended up laughing and spending what seemed like hours together, just teasing and tickling each other.
It wasn’t until Cody started to nod off that I finally called it a night. “All right. No more games. It’s bedtime.”
“But, Mom!” he whined, even as he yawned halfway through.
I shook my head, smiling at him. “Don’t ‘but, Mom’ me, mister. You’ve already gotten an extra hour tonight. It’s time to get cleaned up and hit the hay.”
He pouted, crossing his little arms over his little chest, pushing his bottom lip out dramatically. He looked adorable and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to hold back a laugh. He could be so ridiculous sometimes.
“Up,” I ordered him and pulled him by the arms to get him on his feet.
I walked him to the bathroom in the hall, even as he whined and protested the entire way. “But I’m not tired,” he argued.
“Yes, you are.”
“No, I’m not.”
We went back and forth as I made sure he brushed his teeth; he spit toothpaste all over the mirror as he insisted he wasn’t tired again. We made it to his room and he put on his jammies, then I read him a story. It was about a knight on a white horse fighting off a fire-breathing dragon to save the princess who was trapped in a tower. It was a little cliché, but it was one of Cody’s favorites. He struggled to stay awake, nodding off before the princess was saved.
I slid out of bed then, kissing him gently on the forehead as he slept. I’d intended to head to my own room then, but found myself staring at my little boy instead. He was so peaceful in his sleep.
“My little angel,” I murmured.
I finally turned away and headed out, but paused in the doorway as a horrible thought hit me.
They might come for him.
Or for me, and find him. That man—Tommy or whoever he was—could come for me just like Ethan did. And not just at the shop. What if he came looking for me at my home and found Cody here? With Jessie or with Mrs. Rogers? They could all be in danger, because I had made a stupid, horrible mistake.
My first thought was to run to the phone and call Ethan, to tell him I thought Tommy might know where I lived. But a second later I came to my senses and realized how stupid that was.
Ethan didn’t care about me or my son. We could easily be written off as collateral damage.
Swallowing down that bitter pill, I dug into the pocket of my pants and found my cell phone. I dialed Jessie, not caring how late it was. I hated that I was interrupting her again, but I couldn’t call the police like she wanted. Then I’d have Ethan for an enemy, not just a really lousy boss. I just hoped she wasn’t so drunk that she couldn’t pick up.
The phone rang several times, then went to voicemail, but I didn’t want to leave a message about this. I called again. This time, Jessie picked up.
“Hello?” she asked. I could hear laughing in the background.
I glanced at the clock on the wall; just after ten. “Jessie? It’s Diana.”
“Diana. What’s wrong? Did something happen? What did that creep—?”
I cut her off. “Listen, it’s about what happened at the shop tonight.”
“Now what the hell is going on?”
I blurted it out. “Can you take Cody?”
There was a pause. “What?”
Tugging on the ends of my hair, I said, “Can you take Cody? It wouldn’t be for long. A day or two. The weekend.”
“You want me to babysit him this weekend?”
I winced as I realized what I’d just asked. She had friends over and probably wanted to enjoy this weekend. She didn’t want to be saddled with a kid. She was young, pretty, and single. “I’m sorry. Forget I said anything.”
“No, no,” she said quickly. “It’s fine, Diana. I was just a little surprised.”
“I know it’s out of the blue a bit. Taking care of a kid for a couple of days is a big deal, but you’re so good with him.” I heard the pleading in my own voice, but couldn’t make myself feel upset about it.
She hesitated, but after a bit, she said, “Can I pick him up in the morning? The girls are still here.”
I winced and knew I should say that would be fine, great even. But I couldn’t. Tomorrow morning was a lifetime away and after that guy had threatened me in my own shop, I couldn’t risk that he wouldn’t come here next. And since it was clear to me that Ethan would not be protecting me or my family, I had to do that myself.
And the easiest way to do that was to get Cody out of here for a bit.
“Please, Jessie, can you take him tonight? I’m worried.”
I heard some muffled sounds and imagined Jessie covering the receiver with her hand so she could cuss. “Jesus, okay, of course. I’ll be over in thirty, okay?”
I thanked her and promised I’d give her a raise as soon as I could. She told me not to worry about it, though I knew she hoped I’d make good on that promise. We hung up then and I went into Cody’s room. I felt badly that he’d only just fallen asleep and now I was going to wake him up, but I reasoned that it was Friday and he could sleep a little late tomorrow.
Grabbing his backpack, I threw some clothes in there and a coloring book with some superhero on it. I grabbed his toothbrush from the bathroom as well as his vitamins. After that, I headed to the living room to wait for Jessie.
I was anxious, worried that some evil monster was going to pop out of every corner and shadow. Any and every little movement had me jumping. When the knock at the door finally came, I had to slap my hand over my mouth to stifle a scream.
It was strange, but I’d never worried that Ethan was going to come to my home and threaten my son.
I answered the door. “Jessie, thank you so much.” I threw my arms around her in a hug. She squeezed me back.
“Jeez, you really are worried sick, aren’t you?”
I smiled a little at her. “A mother’s prerogative.”
I handed her Cody’s bag. “I packed some clothes and a few other things. If I forgot something, I’ll drop it off. If there’s a problem—”
“Diana, seriously. Breathe. Everything’s going to be fine. I know the drill.”
I nodded and forced myself to let out a slow breath. “I know. You’re right. Thank you again for doing this.”
“Let’s grab the little guy and I’ll see you Monday, right?”
We headed to Cody’s room and I settled on the edge of his bed, leaning over him. Gently I shook him awake. “Sweetheart? Jessie’s here.”
“Mommy? What’s going on?”
“We’re going to have a sleepover, little buddy!” Jessie said, chipper and smiling.
He looked between her and me. He must have sensed something was off, but couldn’t place it. “A sleepover?” he asked suspiciously.
Jessie nodded. “Yep. Just you and me all weekend. Lots of cartoons, coloring books, and board games. Doesn’t that sound fun?”
He thought about it a moment, looking again at me. “Mommy?”
I kept my smile bright, despite my shot nerves. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll see you Monday. I just thought you’d like to spend some time with Jessie. Doesn’t that sound fun?”
He shrugged, then yawned, clearly still sleepy. But he nodded his head despite himself. “Uh-huh.”
“Good. Now give me a kiss.”
He leaned over and planted one on my cheek. I returned the favor. I scooped him up then and handed him over to Jessie. As soon as his head hit her shoulder, he was asleep all over again. I stroked back his hair, telling myself I was doing the right thing. “I love you, baby.”
“He’ll be okay, Diana. I promise.”
I nodded, then watched as they left. This is only temporary. Cody’s only going to be there until it’s safe again.
But even as I thought that, I wondered if it was ever going to be safe again.