Chapter Nine
“Okay. That’s everything.” Josie wiped the sweat from her brow and zipped her suitcase.
“Josie, are you sure about this?” Madison sat on the bed, her face pinched with concern.
“Look, I know you’re worried. Christ, I want to throw up every time I think about what I’m doing. But…” Josie scooted onto the bed and turned to Madison. “I think about him, Maddie. I think about him a lot. And not all of those thoughts involve burying his body.” Josie laughed and looked at her hands. “The truth is, he makes me feel. I’ve dated, you know that, but the relationships always fizzle out, and that’s if there is even a spark to begin with. I thought it was me, you know? That I was the problem. Because it’s weird, right? That I’ve never fallen in love? I’ve barely even been in lust. I thought something was wrong with me. And shit, I’m not saying there isn’t, because of all the people who could make me feel that spark, it has to be the most impossible man in the world.”
“Josie, you’re not broken. You’re just, guarded. You…you don’t give yourself a chance.”
“Exactly, I’ve never cared enough to bother. But now, with this crazy, complicated, infuriating man, I want to. God help me, but I do. I don’t know where it will go. For all I know, it could just be a fluke—ridiculous sexual chemistry that fizzles out like the rest. Or I could end up really liking him and he could break me. Right now I can’t think that far ahead. I like him, but I’m also leery, and it’s still early enough that if I bail, or if he bails, I can walk away unscathed. I just, I need you to be there for me because I’m terrified and I need my best friend.”
Madison squeezed Josie’s hand and smiled. “Of course I’ve got your back. I’ll always be there for you, no matter what. Whatever you need—a shoulder, a shovel, or an alibi—you know I’m your girl.” Madison’s face grew serious, her voice softer. “I don’t trust him, but I don’t think I’d trust any man who has the potential to hurt you. I guess that comes from living with your brother so long.” At the mention of Holden, Madison grimaced. “Speaking of your brother, if your relationship with Anders ever comes out, you swore me to secrecy. We’re pulling the girl code card because there is no way in hell I’m telling Holden about the two of you.”
Josie laughed and hugged Madison. “Deal. Now, I need to get going.” They both rose from the bed and Josie grabbed her suitcase.
“Oh, you never did tell me what you told Craig.”
Josie rolled her eyes and blew out a breath. “I didn’t have to tell him anything. Anders had his people call my people and told them plans had changed and my presence would be necessary after all.”
“Look at you, Ms. Big Time. You have ‘people,’” Madison joked while making air quotes.
“Shut up. And don’t air quote me. Ever.”
Madison stuck out her tongue and followed Josie out the door. “Are you sure you don’t want a ride to the airport?”
“Nah, I’m fine. Plus traffic will be a bitch on your way back. Go home and relax. You get a little over two weeks without me driving you crazy. Enjoy it.”
“I’ll miss your smart mouth. Have fun, be careful, and try to do something to make that man less of an asshole by the time you get back.”
Josie pulled open the back door of the cab while the driver loaded her bag into the trunk. “Yeah, I think the chances of that are slim to none, but I’ll be sure to try my best on the other two.” She hugged Madison once more and climbed into the back of the car. Once she was en route, she texted Anders.
On my way to the airport. See you soon.
Anders pulled out his phone and grinned at Josie’s text. It was the first time he had a reason to smile all day. A scowl twisted his face as he looked around his room again. The place was a shit hole, but at least it was separate from the inn so he had some semblance of privacy.
After unpacking, he pulled on his running shoes, grabbed his iPod, and stepped outside. The sun hung above the rim of the canyon and the air shimmered from the intense heat. Red dust swirled around his legs before sticking to his sweaty skin. He couldn’t understand why people chose to live in this environment—the heat, the barren scenery, the endless nothingness.
Heaving a final breath of annoyance, he took off in a light jog toward the trailhead nearby. His lungs burned as sweat gathered and dripped from the tips of his hair. Prodigy blared through the headphones as he maneuvered over the rocks and uneven terrain. He tried to focus on his footing, keep his mind on the movement of his body but all he could think about was what would happen once Josie arrived. He pushed harder, not sure if the burn in his chest was from exertion or the reminder of how he convinced her to come to Arizona.
Questions swam in his head. The unknown of what would happen between now and when things ended. Because it was inevitable—they would never last. He didn’t believe in fairytales or happily ever after. Life sucked and people were assholes. Everything came at a price. He wondered what price he would pay for keeping her around.
“Fuck,” he gasped, trying to slow his breathing as he took in the scenery. The sun shone brightly in the cloudless sky. Jagged rocks protruded from the ground before disappearing into a canyon. On the other side of the canyon, a huge waterfall cascaded over slime-covered rocks, plunging into unnaturally blue-green water. It was breathtaking. Anders clenched his jaw in anger and defeat when his first thought was showing Josie this place. Exhaling, he turned and headed back to the inn.
Later that afternoon, Josie filed out of the van shuttling crew members to the inn and made her way to the front desk. As she waited in line, she looked around the room, stopping when she noticed Anders lounging at the bar.
The hat he wore covered his eyes, the bill pulled low, but Josie felt his gaze like a touch. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and tried to keep her accelerated breathing from becoming noticeable.
She turned away, not wanting to draw attention, and stepped to the front desk. The clerk chatted while pulling up her reservation and Josie tried desperately not to peek over her shoulder toward Anders. When her phone chirped, she smiled and slipped it from her bag.
I thought you were going to text me when you landed.
Answering the attendant’s questions, she typed out a reply and tried not to laugh.
I never said I would. Sorry to worry you, Dad.
After receiving the room key, Josie grabbed her suitcase and walked in the direction of her room. She didn’t know if he would follow, but fortunately, she didn’t have to wait long for an answer. The sound of approaching footsteps echoed in the hallway. A moment later his chest pressed against her back and his lips touched the side of her neck.
“Are you messing with me, Ivy?”
Josie gasped, her suitcase slipping from her fingers. “What? I don’t know―”
“You do know,” he growled, scraping his teeth over her skin. “What room?”
“Huh?”
“What is your room number?”
“Ten.”
Anders pushed her forward. “Go open the door, Ivy.”
“Okay.” She reached for her suitcase, but Anders batted her hand away.
“The door, Ivy.” With her suitcase in hand, he slipped inside the room behind her and slammed the door.
Then he was on her. The sound of fabric ripping only intensified the moment as Anders yanked off her shirt. The dark glint in his eyes caused Josie to shiver as his mouth descended to her bra-clad nipple.
“Oh, God.” Josie gripped his hair as he backed her to the bed.
“You have no idea.” The mattress groaned as Anders pushed her onto the bed. Peeling off his shirt, he crawled over her and pressed his hips against hers. “What have you done to me?”
Josie popped the button of his jeans and slipped her hand inside, his dick hardening at her touch. “Nothing you haven’t done to me.”
“Then I guess we’re both fucked.”
“God, I hope so.”
Anders kissed her hard, and for the first time since their one-night stand, their actions mirrored each other’s. No ulterior motives, no means to an end, just the two of them giving in to what their bodies desired.
“This place is a shit hole.” Anders didn’t know why he was talking, but the feel of her hand was ruining his ability to think.
“Shut up and get naked.”
“Condom?”
Josie’s hand loosened and her head fell against the bed. “You don’t have one?” Her voice was whiny and pleading, edging on the verge of defeat.
“Fuck.” Anders dropped his head to her shoulder and dug his fingers into her hips. He wouldn’t have sex without a condom. As much as he wanted her, he didn’t trust her. He’d never trust any woman enough to go bareback.
“There are other things we can do.” Josie grabbed him again and squeezed. Anders’ mouth fell open, a soft groan pushing past his lips.
“Yeah. I like other things.” In a matter of seconds their clothes covered the floor. Anders traced the pattern of Josie’s tattoo with his tongue. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy this is?”
Josie’s muscles bunched where his tongue touched her skin. “I know how it feels to have your mouth on me.”
Anders chuckled and nipped at her hipbone. Lifting his head, he slid his hand between her thighs and pushed them apart. “Not yet. But you will.”
She groaned in response as he pushed two fingers inside her and dropped his mouth back to her stomach. Snaking an arm under her, he hoisted her to the top of the bed. With a lingering kiss above her belly button, he sat back on his heels as he continued to torture her with his fingers.
“I’ve wanted to taste you since we met. I can’t wait to make you come on my face.”
“Jesus, fuck.”
Without another word he lowered his head and ran his tongue along her slit. His fingers pumped as his tongue alternated between long, slow strokes and tight circles. Her thighs clenched as she gripped his hair.
“Stop.”
Anders ignored her plea, lost in the moment.
“Anders, fucking stop.”
He stilled and lifted his head, confusion clear on his face. “What?”
“Roll over.”
“What?”
“Roll over, Anders.”
His eyes widened as realization dawned on him. He pulled away and flipped onto his back, his dick throbbing as Josie straddled his thighs. “No,” he exhaled.
“You don’t want me to?”
“Oh, I do.” He chuckled, his voice low and rough. “But not like this.” He leaned up and gripped her thighs, his mouth covering her breast before sucking roughly and pulling away. “Straddle my face.”
“What?”
“Straddle my fucking face, Ivy.”
She exhaled and shifted. Anders, not having the patience for her pretense of shyness, twisted her around like she weighed nothing. He fell back on the bed, bringing her lower half with him.
“Spread your legs.” Pushing her knees apart, he pulled her down and buried his face between her thighs.
His fingers dug into her flesh when she took him in into her mouth. His eyes rolled back when her throat tightened as she pulled him deeper. He resumed his previous torture, his muscles coiling when she moaned. When she began to jerk and pulse, he followed right behind her.
“C’mere.” His voice was strained and rough. With shaky hands he pulled her against his side. “You’re not running away this time.”
“No,” Josie agreed, closing her eyes. “I’m not.”
When she stirred again, it was to the sound of Anders speaking in hushed, angry whispers. She tightened the sheet around her and leaned against the headboard. The movement caught Anders’ attention, his face twisting into a scowl as he uttered a parting comment and ended the call.
“Everything all right?”
“Did I mention this place is a shit hole?” Anders moved to the bed and fell on it, his sigh over-the-top and dramatic.
“Yes, I think you might have mentioned that somewhere between get naked and straddle my face.”
Anders chuckled and turned toward Josie. “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
“Want to tell me what this place has done to make you pout like a five-year-old?”
“I’m not pouting. I just have certain expectations, and when those expectations aren’t met, it pisses me off.”
“And those expectations would be?” Josie trailed off, rolling her wrist in the air. She was far more amused by his antics than she should be.
“Food. I wanted dinner in my room, but that’s not possible after the kitchen closes. So I either eat whatever nasty, stale shit is in the vending machines or go to the dining area and eat whatever nasty, stale shit is in there.”
Josie’s lip twitched as Anders’ face twisted with annoyance. She fake coughed and mumbled, “High maintenance.” Leaning over the side of the bed, she grabbed her shirt and slipped it on before shimming into her panties. She ignored the way Anders watched her with narrowed eyes as she hopped off the bed and crossed the room. Digging through her bag, she pulled out a granola bar and tossed it on Anders’ bare chest. “This isn’t stale or nasty. Dinner is served.” She bowed at the waist and swept her arm out wide with a flourish.
“Does it get exhausting?” Anders ripped the wrapper from the granola and took a bite.
“Does what get exhausting?”
“Being a smart-ass all the time.”
Josie moved to the bed and snatched the granola bar away. Breaking off a huge piece, she popped it into her mouth and shrugged. “I don’t know. Does being an asshole ever get exhausting for you?”
“I’m not an asshole.”
“And I’m not a smart-ass.”
“You’re impossible.” Anders huffed and snagged the remainder of the bar.
“It seems we at least have that in common.”
“We’ve got to start somewhere, right?” Anders tugged her arm, pulling her to his side. He wasn’t a touchy-feely guy, but after being denied the opportunity to touch her for so long, he wasn’t going to pass up the chance.
It was hours later when Anders slipped out of Josie’s room. He hadn’t expected to stay so long, but nothing involving Josie ever went as expected.
The next morning, Josie shuffled from actor to actor working on last-minute adjustments. She hadn’t talked to Anders, but she knew he was close.
“Hold still one more sec.” She pulled the safety pin from between her teeth and slid it into place on the hem of Dean’s shirt.
“Thanks, Josie.” Dean grinned. His cheeks pinked when Josie winked and patted his shoulder.
“No problem. Good luck. And be careful!” she called as he took off toward the director.
“The casting department sucks. That guy is a horrible stunt double.” Anders crossed his arms and watched Dean chat with the director, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Josie.
She mirrored his stance. “What are you talking about? Dean’s great.”
Anders scoffed. “You want to know why that guy is nothing like me? Because you weren’t a smart-ass and not once did he look your tits.”
Josie chuckled and lifted the hair from her neck to fan her heated body. “You’re half right.”
Anders nodded, stopping suddenly and turning his face in her direction. “What do you mean, ‘half right’?”
Josie tilted her chin, once again mirroring Anders’ position. Her sly smile caused Anders’ scowl to deepen. “I mean, you’re half right. I wasn’t a smart-ass.”
Anders’ eyes narrowed, his gaze moving to Dean. “Are you telling me that guy was checking you out?”
“Are you telling me you blame him?”
“It’s unprofessional.”
Josie choked when she sucked her gum down her throat. With watery eyes she struggled to breathe, her laughter trapped in her chest. Anders’ eyes widened as he pounded on her back.
“Jesus, Josie! What the fuck?”
She held up her hand to stop his assault and coughed twice before the gum flew from her mouth. She wiped the tears gathered in her eyes and tried to regain her composure.
“Would you be more careful?” Anders hissed, realizing several people were staring.
Josie sobered, her face shifting into a blank mask. Their time together the night before and easy banter moments earlier made her forget. No matter how many times he said he wanted her, she was still a dirty little secret. “It’s not my fault I found your hypocrisy funny. I’ll be sure just to choke next time.”
Anders groaned. “Fuck, that’s not―”
“Oh my gosh, Josie! Are you okay?” Amelia rushed between them, her chubby fingers pushing the glasses up her nose where they’d slid down her sweaty skin.
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just choked.”
Amelia handed Josie a bottle of water and patted her back. “It’s a good thing Mr. Ellis was here.”
“Yeah.” Josie took a swig of her water, her eyes flicking to Anders. “I’m lucky like that I guess.”
Anders swore under his breath, but his expression gave away none of his inner turmoil.
“Amelia, why don’t we let the others handle the rest of the afternoon? I can show you what I’m working on for a new script.”
“Okay. I’ll meet you at the car?”
“Yup.” Josie waited until Amelia was several feet away, then turned back to Anders. She stared at his back for a minute, his refusal to face her made her blood boil. “I don’t know the rules you’ve set for the fucking disaster we’re creating. I suggest you fill me in soon or else I’m going to forfeit.”
She didn’t wait for a response as she turned and walked away. It wasn’t like she wanted grandiose displays of public affection, but was speaking to her out of the question? For the hundredth time she cursed whatever it was about him that refused to set her free.
Anders spent the rest of the day on set alternating between glaring at Dean and kicking his own ass for not saying something to Josie before she left. She was right about one thing: If there was any chance of whatever they were doing working out, she needed to know the rules. She had to follow them.
However, he wasn’t too bothered with how they’d left things this time. The reason was simple. For the next two weeks, no matter how hard she tried to avoid him, there was nowhere to go. He also had to admit arguing with her wasn’t what he had in mind either. Between scenes he grabbed his phone and sent a quick text, hoping it would be enough to calm her down.
I’m sorry and you’re right. Meet me at my room later tonight when I get done?
Anders pushed through the rest of the day and tried not to think about Josie or her radio silence. When he made it back to the room, he shoved the delivered food into the oven and took a shower. He’d just pulled everything out of the oven when Josie knocked on the door. Moving to the living room, he opened the door and without a word pulled her inside. She stumbled once then caught her footing.
“Was that necessary?”
“I figured it might be better to get you behind a closed door as quick as possible so you don’t try to bolt.” He tugged the end of her hair and grinned, not wanting to admit how much he believed his words.
“Oh, I thought it was because you were worried someone would see me standing outside. Don’t worry, you’ve made it quite clear that I shouldn’t linger.”
Anders’ smile slipped, and Josie mentally kicked herself. She didn’t mean for the first thing that came out of her mouth to be a smart-ass, bitchy remark, but Anders acting like nothing happened earlier bugged her.
“Ivy, you know―”
Josie shook her head and held up her hand. “No, Anders, I don’t know. But I will because we’re going to talk. I will do my best to reel in my smart-ass comments, and you will not be an asshole, okay?”
“So you will try not to be a smart-ass, but I’m not allowed to be an asshole. Did I hear that right?” His smile was back, and it made Josie’s shoulders relax.
“Well, yeah.” She shrugged. “But all of this will take place after you feed me whatever it is I smell because I’m starving.”
Anders raised a brow and moved into the kitchen. “What makes you think I’m going to share my food?” He grabbed a couple of plates and set them on the bar before digging around the drawers for silverware.
Josie kicked off her shoes and followed behind him. “Hey, I shared my food. The least you could do is return the favor.”
The sardonic expression on his face matched the deadpan tone of his voice. “You had a granola bar.”
“Beggars can’t be choosers.”
“Impossible,” Anders muttered as he filled their plates.
“Did you make this? Who am I kidding? Of course you didn’t, but this didn’t come from the kitchen. Where did you get it?”
“I had Nathan send the staff to buy food that didn’t taste like cardboard. I wasn’t going to eat the awful shit they serve here for the next two weeks.”
Josie stared at him slack-jawed, her fork half raised to her mouth. “Oh my God, you’re even more high maintenance than I realized.” She put her fork down and tsked. “You’re gonna be a lot of work.”
“Whatever.” He dismissed her statement with a wave of his hand. “You can’t tell me you’d rather have the shit they serve in the dining room than what I have here. You’re reaping the benefits of my so called ‘high maintenance.’”
Josie nodded, her face full of mock seriousness as she shoveled a bite of food in her mouth. “That’s true.”
“It’s a damn good thing I can afford to since the other option would be one of us cooking. It’s safe to say, from what you’ve said, cooking is not your area of expertise.”
“Sadly, no.”
“Well, here’s to hoping I never run out of money or we’ll both starve when we’re older.”
Josie’s hand shook as she set her fork down on the half-empty plate. Anders continued to eat, seemingly oblivious to the effect his comment had on Josie.
But Anders did realize. As soon as the words left his mouth his entire body tensed. He kept up the pretense of eating, even though the food tasted like sawdust. He saw Josie’s reaction the moment he spoke. He wasn’t sure what bothered him more—the fact that he’d said it or that his statement caused the color to drain from her face. It was shitty to be bothered when he had one foot out the door, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop, but he wanted her invested. He wanted her to want him more.
“Do you want a beer?” Anders pushed away from the bar and moved to the refrigerator, giving them both a moment to compose their faces.
“Yeah, thanks.”
Finishing their dinner in silence, they put their dishes away and moved into the living room. Stiff and unsure, they settled on opposite ends of the couch. Josie took a pull from her beer and looked around the room. “Why do you think this place is a shit hole? Compared to my room it’s like a five-star hotel.”
“That’s not saying much, Josie. I feel bad that you’re staying there.”
“It’s not that bad. Stop being such a brat.” She stretched out her leg and kicked his thigh. Before she could move, he grabbed her ankle and held her in place as he shifted to face her.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you today.”
Josie choked, causing beer to drip from her chin. “Well, shit,” she sputtered. “I wasn’t expecting that.”
“Do you do that a lot?” Anders leaned over to the coffee table and grabbed a napkin, then tossed it in Josie’s lap.
“Do what?”
“Choke.”
Josie opened and closed her mouth a few times before shaking her head and muttering. “Too easy.” Wiping the beer from her chin, she settled back on the couch. “Maybe if you stopped saying ridiculous things, I wouldn’t be caught off guard so much.”
Anders nodded. “Fair enough.”
“But now that you’ve brought up today, I have some questions. Why did you bother coming up to me if I’m not supposed to talk to you?”
Anders sighed and scratched the side of his face. “I hadn’t talked to you all day, and you were smiling with Dean and he was smiling, and I don’t know…”
“I never pegged you for the jealous type. I’m not sure how I feel about this development.”
“I’m not the jealous type.” At least not until now, he added silently. The expression on her face reflected his thoughts.
“So we’re not supposed to talk in public? We work together. I dress you every day. Why is it not okay for us to talk? It seems normal to me.”
“Because I don’t chat with the crew. And I sure as hell don’t make them laugh.”
Josie tried not to let it sting that he referred to her as part of the crew. Instead she pushed forward, needing answers. “So because you’ve been an asshole to every person on set for God knows how long, you and I aren’t allowed to talk? You know, you could just start being nicer to people. Then it wouldn’t be such a big deal.”
“I’m not changing for anyone.” His clipped words and hard expression showed he would not negotiate.
“Even if it’s something to make your life easier?” Josie’s frustration was clear.
“Believe me, letting people get close doesn’t make life easier.”
“But you’re trying with me.”
“I am. And nothing about that has made my life easier.”
“Then why am I here? If doing things like this”―she waved her hand between them―“is so hard for you, why bother?”
“Because it’s like I told you. I don’t have any choice.”
“What if I walked away? You wouldn’t have a choice then either but at least things would go back to normal for you.” Josie’s stomach tightened at the thought of walking out of his life. They were playing a game of Russian roulette, and at any moment the click of the gun would be followed with an ear-splitting bang. It terrified her to think about being on the receiving end of that blow.
Anders’ brows dipped and his eyes darkened as he thought about what normal meant for him. An unwelcome image of the girl jacking him off under the table popped into his mind and made his grip tighten around his beer bottle. “You don’t want to walk away from me, Ivy.” His tone was chastising and playful, covering his insecurities.
“I didn’t say I wanted to, but there’s no way what we’re doing is going to work. Christ, we can’t even talk in public. Are you going to become a recluse? Don’t you think people will notice if you suddenly stop going out? And if you think I’m going to be okay sitting at home while you go out and have women hang all over you, well, you’re out of your damn mind.”
Anders smirked and took a swig of beer. “I never pegged you for the jealous type. I’m not sure how I feel about this development.”
“It has nothing to do with jealousy. I’m not a doormat. I won’t compromise myself. For some reason I like you, and I think you like me too, so for that I’m willing to give a little, but I won’t throw me away. I won’t back burner myself because of your issues.”
“Why does everything you say have to be laced with the threat of ending things?” Anders sat up and slammed his beer on the table. “Every time I say something you don’t like, you do that shit. You can’t keep threatening to walk away.”
Josie sat up as well, her beer connecting with the table with just as much force. “Well neither can you, damn it. This isn’t just about you. You don’t get to make all the rules and just expect me to follow. I may be part of the crew on set, but here, when it’s just us, you’re not more important than me.”
“So what do you want, Josie? Fucking sky writing?”
Josie threw her arms in the air. “I want to be able to say hi!” Her cheeks darkened to a deep red as her annoyance grew. “And if you say something asinine, I want to be able to laugh without you biting my head off. I don’t want to take out a front-page ad that your dick is off the market. Because to be honest, I trust you about as much as you trust me. I don’t need us to go out. God, it would be a circus. I just need you to calm down. I hate to break it to you, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. No one cares what you do nearly as much as you think.”
“Have you ever found people hiding in your bushes just to take your picture? Have you ever hidden behind complete strangers and begged them to hold still while the pap you’ve been trying to lose walks by? Because I have. I’ve had to take out restraining orders because people are fucking crazy. So don’t tell me people don’t care about what I’m doing because they do, to the point where my life isn’t my own anymore.”
Josie stared wide-eyed. The paparazzi in Los Angeles were horrible. She’d heard of the lengths they would go to snap a picture, but she’d never been involved with someone who dealt with them on a day-to-day basis. She’d always been on the outside looking in. Scrolling through websites, looking at magazines in the grocery store checkout line, and giving none of it a second thought. “I’m sorry.”
Anders scooted closer. “I don’t want you to be sorry.” He tugged her arm and pulled her against his side. “I want you to trust me on this. I might not know everything, but this I know. We can talk on the set. You’re right. It wouldn’t be that big of a deal. But right now, let’s keep everything else private.”
“Okay.”
Anders pressed his lips against her temple, his eyes closing as relief washed over him. Sure, everything he said was true, but his reason for secrecy had much more to do with what he wanted than concerns over being hounded by the paparazzi.
After that night, they fell into a routine of sorts. The hours on set were long and tiring. Combined with the unbearable heat, both were wiped out by the time they saw each other at night. But even exhausted, they remained the same.
“It’s my turn.” Josie grabbed the remote and hopped off the couch.
“No way, Ivy.” Anders shook his head and rose from the couch. “We’re not watching that shit.”
“You picked what we watched last night. It’s my turn.”
“Why can’t you pick something that’s at least useful? Like, I don’t know, a cooking show or something. Lord knows you need all the help you can get.” Anders scrunched his face as he thought about her recent attempt at cooking. When she said she was a horrible cook, he didn’t think it could be that bad. Even he could make something edible. Josie, however, couldn’t cook at all and would surely die if ever forced to survive on her own cooking.
“You dick!” She laughed, putting the remote behind her back when he came closer.
“I’m not watching that show. Let’s play cards or something.”
“I’m never playing cards with you again. You are a cheating cheater who cheats.”
“I do not cheat.” It was only cheating if he got caught, and even then it was still up for debate if he could talk his way out of it.
“You do cheat. Now, it’s my turn, and we’re watching what I want.” Josie nodded and moved behind the couch, pressing the buttons on the remote until the television came to life.
“You can’t be serious. Honey Boo Boo? This has to be the most annoying fucking show on television.”
“It’s my guilty pleasure. Now shut up and sit down. Chicken Nugget just got a pet chicken.”
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Anders looked from the television to Josie with wide eyes and an incredulous expression.
“We can watch the Real Desperate Housewives of Atlanta instead.” Josie cocked a brow and sauntered to the couch.
“It can’t be worse than this,” Anders muttered, falling beside her in defeat. His eyes began to droop after a couple of minutes. The fatigue from working long hours was interfering with what he’d rather be doing instead of watching rednecks mix catsup and butter then pour it over noodles.
Josie looked at Anders and noticed the dark shadows under his eyes. They had to be on location before the sun rose, and hanging out was keeping them from getting some much needed sleep. Reaching over, she brushed the hair away from his face. Anders hummed and wrapped his arm around her waist to pull her closer. Times like these, unguarded and free of stress, were when things made sense between them. “I should go.”
Anders nodded but didn’t loosen his hold. Suddenly he remembered a thought he had earlier in the day. He opened his eyes and focused on Josie. “We won’t be able to hang out tomorrow night.”
“I know. You have a late night shoot for that one scene, right?”
“Yeah. We break for a few hours in the afternoon, but then I’m back to work.”
Josie sighed and rose to her feet, stretching her arms over head. “That’s okay. I can work on some of my other projects while you’re filming.”
Anders grabbed the back on her thighs and pulled her between his legs, resting his forehead on her stomach. Josie scratched her nails over his scalp, causing Anders to sigh. Pressing his lips to her stomach, he looked up. “I want to take you somewhere.”
Josie’s hands stilled. “What?”
“After the shoot tomorrow we have the next day off. I’ve heard everyone is driving to Flagstaff or some other town close-by for the day.”
“Anders, we can’t go. People will recognize you.”
He shook his head. “No, not there. Just be here around eight that morning. Dress comfortable and wear sneakers.”
Josie eyed him for a moment before nodding. “Okay.” With a soft kiss she stepped back and walked to the door. Right before she closed it, Anders spoke, his voice closer than she expected.
“And wear a swimsuit,” he whispered, kissing her neck. “Or don’t.”
The next day went as expected, busy and exhausting. Josie used her time to catch up on the work she’d neglected while spending time with Anders. Just before she fell asleep that night, Anders texted saying he’d see her in the morning. To say she was curious about his plans was an understatement.
At eight the next morning, Josie tapped on Anders’ door. After a couple of moments he pulled it open, a sleepy smile on his face. “Hey.” She smiled and stepped inside, the smell of coffee invading her senses. “You know we don’t have to do anything today. We can hang out and watch movies all day, let you rest.”
“No, I want to show you something, and this is our free day. I’ll be fine. Just let me grab my shoes.”
“But―”
“Woman. We’re going.” Anders glared playfully, causing Josie to roll her eyes.
“So bossy.”
Twenty minutes later, Josie’s hair clung to her neck and Anders cursed everything under the sun. He’d apparently blocked out the fact that this hike almost killed him last time.
“If you didn’t drink so much, maybe you wouldn’t be sweating pure alcohol right now,” Josie sassed with a wry grin.
“Well, what’s your excuse? You look like you just got out of the shower, and if I’m not mistaken, you’re starting to smell.”
“Kiss my ass, Anders. I sweat a lot, okay? And when you said to dress comfortably, you didn’t say anything about walking through the desert—it’s hot. And I don’t stink. Jerk.” Josie took a long pull from her water bottle, turning her head to smell under her arm.
“I saw that,” Anders taunted.
“Fuck off. I don’t stink.” But she was hot as hell and needed some relief. A wicked smile tugged at the corner of her mouth as she pushed past him. Jogging a few steps out of his reach, she grabbed the hem of her shirt and peeled it off revealing her bikini top.
Anders sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes zeroing in on the dimples at her lower back. Except for the day she arrived, he hadn’t seen her naked. It was unacceptable, and it ended today. Pulling in a deep breath, he ran after her. As soon as Josie heard him gaining, she took off with a laugh. She might’ve been sweating like hell, but she was in a lot better shape than him. Just as he hooked his finger into the belt loop of her shorts, she stopped.
“Oh my God,” she exhaled. Anders stepped behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, his lips dropping to her shoulder. The sun shimmered above the canyon and the sound of rushing water thundered around them. Water spilled over the rocks and plunged into a pool that looked almost neon blue. “What is this place?”
“It’s called Havasu Falls. I found it the day I got here. It’s outside, secluded, and we can get practically naked.”
Josie grinned and stepped out of his arms, moving toward the rocks that formed a natural set of steps down the canyon. Anders jogged to catch up, his eyes widening when Josie stepped to the edge and peered over. “I think,” she began, toeing off her shoes, “we can do better than practically.” Kicking off her shoes, she shimmied out of her shorts and tugged the string of her bikini top until the knot pulled free. With a final glance over her shoulder, she jumped.
“Oh, fuck,” Anders gasped, both from seeing her shed her clothes and jumping off the side of the canyon. Stripping down to his swim trunks, he got a running start and followed. When he broke the surface of the water, he shivered. “Whoa, this is a lot colder than I expected.”
“No shit.” Josie swam to Anders and wrapped her arms around his neck. His warm, slick skin was a stark contrast to the cold bite of the water.
Anders caressed her side, tracing the outline of her breast with his thumb before settling on her hip. “So is this cool?”
“Yeah, it’s cool.” Josie leaned forward and kissed him, her hands sliding into his hair. “Thanks for bringing me here.”
“I just wanted an excuse to get you naked.”
“You could have done that back at the inn. I wouldn’t have objected.”
“Oh, don’t worry. I plan to rid you of your clothes the moment we get back.”
Josie laughed and wrapped her legs around his waist. “Is it time to go back?”
“I knew you just wanted my dick.” Anders swam towards the bank until his feet brushed the bottom. Sliding his arms down her back, he cupped her ass and pulled her flush.
“Your dick has nothing to do with it. You lured me in with your humble disposition and humanitarian outlook on life.”
“Ivy?” Anders grinned and tightened his hold.
“Yeah?”
“Hold your breath.” Still smiling, he submerged them under water. Josie’s arms flew above her head as she sputtered for air, but Anders held her close as they sank down. When his lips touched hers, Josie stopped fighting, letting his tongue slide into her mouth. She scraped her nails across his shoulder and tapped once, letting him know she needed air. As soon as they surfaced, she leveled him with a playful glare.
“That’s wasn’t very nice.”
“Haven’t you heard? I’m not a very nice guy.”
Josie rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I think I’ve heard that mentioned once or twice.”
They spent the rest of the day wrapped in a bubble. They lounged on rocks, swam under the waterfall, and bickered about everything under the sun. The more they talked, the more they realized how little they had in common, but for some reason it didn’t bother them. If anything, it fueled their attraction. Every time Anders gave his opinion about something and Josie argued, it was like a magnet pulling them a little closer.
When the sun descended from the sky, they headed toward the inn. With their fingers tangled together and their steps in line, they made their way down the trail. The tension that had built throughout the course of the week paled in comparison to how they felt after their time at the falls. The world had slipped away, and they were able to be with one another without worrying about cameras, fans, or coworkers.
Anders couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt so unburdened, but the underlying feeling of fear still hovered just below the surface. The uneasy thought that today was one of a kind made desperation surge through Anders—desperation to hold on to her as long as he could. His hand tightened around Josie’s and his steps picked up pace when the inn came into view.
“Where’s the fire?” Josie stumbled forward and tried to pull her hand free, but Anders held tight.
He wasn’t in the mood to explain. Instead he answered her in true Anders fashion. “I’m fifty yards away from a bed and a condom that I plan to use to fuck you senseless. I’m a bit eager.” He looked over his shoulder and winked, his entire demeanor mirroring his words. Josie grinned and moved faster, completely fooled. She bought his fake, cool façade hook, line, and sinker.
Warm fingers brushed over soft skin as Anders backed her into the bedroom. His eyes were dark, clouded with confusion and fear, but masked by lust. Josie’s lips parted as he pulled off her shirt. He kissed her neck and cupped her breasts before pushing her shorts to the floor.
“I want you.” Raw desperation lingered on the edge of his words. “Can I have you?”
A shiver of fear slid up Josie’s spine. Her throat tightened and her heart leapt. She tightened her grip on his shoulders, her nails cutting into the top layer of skin. Anders hissed and pulled her closer. With his jaw clenched and his lips pulled into a thin line, he spoke again, his words slow, each one enunciated with his demand. “Answer me. Can I have you?”
Josie’s eyes burned with unshed tears and her stomach twisted. Fear and insecurities trapped the words in her chest. With a long exhale she dipped her chin in answer, but it wasn’t enough, not for Anders.
“Say it, Ivy. Tell me.” He pushed her onto the bed and stripped out of his shorts until every inch of his bare skin pressed against her. Shivers moved along her spine when his teeth scraped over her neck and bit down. With a forceful exhale he moved his lips to her ear. When he spoke again, his voice was raw and commanding. “I want to hear you say it. Tell me, Ivy.”
“You can have me,” she gasped. He rested his face against neck for a moment before removing a condom from the drawer. With his arms under her shoulders, he thrust into her. He moved slowly, squeezing, licking, caressing, and drowning. Drowning with no signs of ever surfacing.
When they lay beside each other in silence hours later, he held her close. “Stay?” It was risky, careless, but he wanted her to make him feel the way he did in that moment for as long as possible.
“Okay.”
“Because I have you.” His words were no more than a whisper, meant for no one’s ears but his own. He got what he wanted.
“Please don’t break me,” was her reply into the dark room, the sound of Anders’ deep, even breaths the only response.
Josie stayed awake for hours that night, her eyes trained on the ceiling. She knew the bubble they had wrapped themselves in was fragile and thin. Once they returned to LA and the reality of their lives, their time in Arizona would seem like a dream. A life where they didn’t have dark secrets, thick walls, and a million obstacles set to rip them apart.
Even so, Josie and Anders didn’t dwell on what was to come. They spent the remaining days sneaking stolen glances and sharing sweet moments. It wasn’t until the last two days of shooting that things began to shift. The walls Anders had dropped reemerged. He snapped at the crew more than usual, and his time with Josie became more intense, more strained. Josie knew he was thinking about going back to LA where he’d be under a microscope once more. Instead of forcing the issue, she let him hold her a little tighter, and when he asked her to stay, she did. She fell right in line and followed his lead, hoping against hope that he wouldn’t lead them down a path of destruction.