I saw it in his eyes. Liam had something on his mind. Maybe that something had to do with why he’d kissed me the other night in the bar. I shook my head before glancing up into the mirror as I worked to put my final earring in.

The thing that still shocked me the most was seeing Kayleigh last night. She looked absolutely nothing like the fresh-faced girl I grew up with. Even her voice was scratchier and sounded defeated. We were in our early thirties, but she looked like she’d seen more life than any of us. Her skin was wrecked from her rumored drug use and at only thirty-one she could easily pass for fifty or more.

“I’d told you she looked bad,” Olivia said from across the room. I’d told Olivia about Kayleigh as soon as she arrived at the house. Unlike me, Olivia came home often and knew more of the goings on.

“I was shocked. I mean, she used to be so beautiful and now–Wow! Drugs are intense.” I could barely find my words when thinking about the huge difference.

“That whole crew she hung with in high school, they are all fucked up. I hear Missy is in jail for possession charges. Yvette hangs out at the Shell station off I-5 trying to bum cigarettes. Lindsey apparently comes into town every now and then, but she’s just as bad as Kayleigh. She’s living in the Bay. All of them are typical cases coming from Fort Shasta,” Olivia explained as she fluffed out her curls.

“I’m just glad we got out,” I shook my head. Olivia and I were both dying to be far away from Fort Shasta and we put in the hard work to get away as quickly as possible. It was a toxic town that was going nowhere, but Dad insisted on staying. “Can you zip me?” I motioned to the impossible zipper on my dark purple sheath dress.

As Olivia finished zipping my dress, the doorbell rang. I weaved through the stacked boxes in the hallway and reached the front door where I saw the reflection of multiple people through the glass, many of the people small. I grinned as I swung the door open to a man who was accompanied by three small children.

“My babies!” I heard Olivia shout joyously from behind me. All three of the tan skinned and curly haired children ran toward their mother who bent to hug them all.

A hand landed on my shoulder and squeezed as I watched Olivia greet her kids. I looked up to her husband, Jacob, his hazel eyes showing sorrow.

“I’m very sorry for your loss,” he said in a somber voice.

“Thanks,” I responded before turning back to my friend who was holding her youngest on her hip, the oldest two clinging to her.

“Go give your Auntie Bethany a hug,” Olivia instructed.

Suddenly, her oldest two came barreling in my direction and I opened my arms wide. The little girl with pigtails, the oldest at seven, and the middle child, Olivia’s only boy who wore electric blue glasses. Both children looked so similar, even with only having one parent in common as Jordin, her oldest wasn’t Jacob’s child, but he loved her as if she was.

Olivia had a hard life and just when she thought things were looking up, they crashed on her again when she’d been raped. At the time she and Jacob were dating, and he never batted an eyelash when they learned she was pregnant. I remembered that time so vividly. Olivia and I were living together in Seattle. I’d just finished med school and Olivia had a great job at an architectural firm where she’d met Jacob.

I smiled at the two kids who stood with me. They were both a testament to the love Olivia and Jacob shared.

“Have you two been good?” I looked into their deep brown eyes.

“I’m good. He’s not,” Jordin pointed as her brother scowled at her.

I laughed before giving each of them a kiss on their foreheads and standing to greet the smallest one of the children who was snuggled into Olivia’s arms. The little fair skinned girl looked so much like Jacob. She even had his bright gray eyes.

“You’ve gotten so big,” I said with a gasp at the nearly two-year-old Olivia held. “Hello, Mikayla.”

“No,” Mikayla’s little voice said before she hid her face from me and buried it in Olivia’s chest.

“Aww, little cutie.” I gave her back a little rub.

“Will we all ride together?” Jacob asked.

“Yeah, I think we can all fit in the van,” Olivia said, and I laughed at my best friend even mentioning the word van. “Shut up,” she snapped. She knew exactly what I was thinking. Olivia always said she would absolutely never drive a minivan. She wanted two kids top and if she had anything bigger than a car it would be a hip SUV like a Range Rover.

“Look at you, minivan and all,” I giggled as Olivia stuck her tongue out at me.

“We should get going or we’ll be late,” Olivia motioned. She was right. I’d be going through the first phase of saying goodbye to Dad at his wake service.

The service wasn’t going to be anything huge. There would be a body viewing, a few prayers, and scripture would be recited by Minister Garland. Dad may not have been religious, but he was a traditionalist, and this was just up his alley.

The ride from the house to the funeral home wasn’t long. As I arrived, I noticed some of the usual bar patrons right away. They all granted me with their condolences as we entered. The mood instantly struck me as somber, and the moment we entered the chapel, everyone fell silent. The only sounds were the hushed whispers that blended into the delicate piano melody that played in the background.

Walking through the pews, I received waves from people already seated. I noticed Liam’s parents instantly in the second row. Mr. Howard was out of his usual mechanic jumpsuit and had donned dark khakis with a plaid shirt and tweed blazer. Bless that man for wearing tweed in the summer heat.

Sitting next to Mrs. Howard was a small girl, about the age of Olivia’s oldest. She had freckles and red hair. She looked so much like Kayleigh with a speck of Liam, I knew automatically it was their daughter.

“We saved your seat right here,” Mrs. Howard pointed out to the first row. I sighed. There was no other family but me.

“Thanks,” I whispered to the woman I was once quite close to.

Olivia sat next to me holding Mikayla in her arms, while Jacob sat in the back with the oldest two. A hand settled on my shoulder and I jumped to find Minister Garland looking down at me with his kind smile. I gave him a nod to carry on.

I watched as Minister Garland motioned to one of the funeral home employees who opened the casket. I inhaled at the sight of my dad. They’d done a great job of giving him more life than he’d had at the hospital morgue. The suit Liam helped pick was perfect on him. A small smile crept to my face. At least he looked good. Dad would want to look good.

After a prayer, some of those in attendance walked to the coffin. Some cried, while others proceeded to tell Dad’s body stories about good times they shared. I inhaled. I was the final one.

My legs wobbled under me as I stood. I could barely make my feet take one step, but I managed to take one wobbly step after another. Standing over the casket I looked down at the face of the man who raised me. He looked at peace. It was almost as if he knew I was there. It would be the last time I saw him.

Only memories and photos would remain of my dad. He’d never see me get married or have children of my own. Dad would never get the joy of spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with his grandchildren. Even through all my accomplishments, I felt like I let Dad down. I’d pushed the boundaries of my upbringing and society. I’d become a doctor and I’d become a success. Dad didn’t care though, he only wanted me near, and I’d failed him.

“Daddy,” I whispered through my cracking voice.

At the exact moment my knees gave way, strong arms were already holding me up. I peered up to see Liam next to me, his strong arms securing me close to him as tears trickled from my eyes and down my cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay,” he breathed as he held me close. My face against his chest as I cried all the pain and loss away.

Liam helped me to my seat and he sat with me. His fingers laced with mine and he held my hand tightly just as he’d done the other night. It was enough to make me think he still cared about me, but I knew that wasn’t true. Liam only cared about himself and staying within his comfort zone.

I sat alone in the funeral home until the last person’d left. I’d told Olivia to go on with her family. She’d spent days away from her kids to help me and she deserved her time with them.

The still of the room comforted me. Dad’s casket sat closed in front of me. Tomorrow would be my final goodbye and as much as I didn’t want to feel the overwhelming sadness that filled me, I couldn’t help it.

“They want to close up.” A voice startled me. It was Liam who stood next to the pew I occupied. I nodded, and he gave me his hand. “I’ll give you a ride back to the house.”

We walked with his hand securing mine until we were outside, and his car sat waiting at the front curb. He opened the door for me. I got in the car and put on my seatbelt. The day had drained me of all my emotions and I still had another to go before Dad was going to be put in the ground.

Liam got into the driver’s seat and started up the car. We were off down the road and toward my dad’s house. The radio played low enough I couldn’t exactly make out what was playing, and it was okay. Something about the quiet comforted me.

“The service was nice,” Liam mentioned.

“Yeah, it was good. I think Dad would appreciate it,” I answered as I watched the sunset in the distance.

“He talked a lot about what it would be like when he was gone. He knew you’d be here taking care of everything. You were definitely his pride and joy. Crossroads meant a lot to him, but you were his everything. In the early days, I would sit with him at his chemo treatments. He would always have some story about his little Beth.” Liam chuckled. I turned to him and saw his perfect smile. My heart thumped. “He talked about how once he was in his office and you were about four and you thought it would be a good idea to spread butter all over the kitchen floor and he found you sliding across the floor on your naked butt.”

“Oh God, I can’t believe he told you about that.” I was mortified but entertained as a laugh erupted from my belly.

"Your dad was full of stories," Liam mentioned. I glanced up at him a smile on the edge of his lips. "You know I was always close to him, but this last year we got much closer as I would go to chemo with him. The nurses assumed I was his son, so we just left it at that.

"Thank you for that. Really, thank you for everything. I'm mad at him you know. An entire year passed, and he didn't tell me anything. I would've been down here as soon as I could've if I knew he was sick. I would've been here a year ago." I couldn't help but wonder if there was some reason why he didn't tell me. I knew he didn't want me to worry, but I was his only child. He needed someone there. At least he had Liam.

"I know now. I thought you were being a brat. A stuck-up bitch," Liam argued.

"You know that's not me."

"I know but..." His words trailed off. "Things change, people change."

"And you thought I did."

Liam shrugged, and we left it at that. There was a plethora of actions and words that we left unsaid. I had the feeling though it would all be left that way.