Chapter Forty
Tears were threatening once more. Katie had kept them at bay for days, but only by refusing to even think about all that had happened. She had tried to hide from her breaking heart, but it lingered there, aching and pricking at her.
Joseph hadn’t looked in on her all day. She’d missed him, and he hadn’t come by. The day was growing harder, and she felt herself drowning in her own sorrows.
“Good afternoon, Katie.” Biddy stepped inside the room. “How are you?”
If Katie had had any doubts about her feelings for Joseph, the fact that she was disappointed that he wasn’t standing in the doorway spoke volumes of her love for him. “I’m struggling, Biddy.”
Biddy came over to her chair. “Aye. You’ve a difficult road to walk just now.”
She felt entirely unequal to that trying path. “I don’t like to think of myself as a weak person.”
“Weak? I can honestly tell you, my friend, that I have known few people in my life with the strength you show every day.”
Katie let her head hang. She didn’t feel strong. Not in the least. “I cannot do this alone. I know I can’t. I . . .” Emotions bubbled, obscuring her words. “I need Joseph. I haven’t needed anyone since I was a child. Needing people meant being hurt; it meant being weak. But I need him here.”
She brushed at the tears trickling down her cheeks.
“You love him, Katie.” Biddy squeezed her shoulder. “That is not a weakness. Love gives us strength when our own fails us.”
“My strength seems to have left me entirely.” Indeed, the tears wouldn’t stop. “So, it seems, has Joseph.”
Biddy sat in the chair near Katie and took her one good hand between both of hers. “That is your worry and exhaustion speaking. You know as well as any of us that your Joseph would never abandon you. He is down the Irish Road, fetching his girls. He’ll be back before long.”
My Joseph. The words acted as a balm to her aching soul.
“I would advise you, though, to pull yourself at least a tiny bit together before Joseph returns.” Biddy appeared perfectly serious. “He’s worrying fiercely about you. The poor man’s a mess.”
“I’m a bit of a mess myself.”
Biddy patted her fingers. “Are you hurting, Katie? Mr. Johnson sent plenty of powders.”
“My arm and hand hurt terribly,” she confessed. “And I’m absolutely certain I have burns on my back.”
“That you do.” Empathy shone in Biddy’s eyes. “And broken ribs and more bruises than Joseph could bear to see. You’ll be pained for some time, I’m afraid.”
“Pained by a great many things.”
Biddy pulled her hands free and stood. “Mrs. Smith is suggesting boiled potatoes for your lunch, but I thought colcannon would be far better. Which would you like?”
“What kind of Irishwoman would I be if I didn’t choose colcannon?” Katie even managed a bit of a lighter expression.
Biddy nodded firmly. “No kind of Irishwoman at all.” She stopped at the doorway and looked back. “I know it’s tired you are, and worried and burdened. But all will be well in time, I promise you that.”
She wanted to believe it. She wanted to be done with the pain and regret. Time heals wounds, she’d heard said, but too many of her scars had been painful and bleeding for far too long. She no longer had her music to turn to. She had but one remaining source of comfort.
“Do you know how much longer Joseph will be?” she asked.
Biddy smiled softly. “Not long, I’d imagine. He seldom leaves, and never stays away long.”
Love gives us strength. Katie had little experience with such things, but told herself to trust that promise.
“And if you’re feeling up to it, there’s someone else wishing to see you just now,” Biddy said.
Tavish stood in the corridor just beyond the doorway. Dear, kind Tavish.
“Come in. Please,” she said.
He crossed to the chair next to the bed. “You’re looking better, Katie.”
She gave him a look of utter disbelief. “Seems to me, Tavish, you ought to be fitted for a pair of spectacles.”
He grinned and chuckled lightly. “No matter your protests, you are looking better. And this entire town will be glad of it. Joseph especially.”
Tavish knew, it seemed. And though he smiled, Katie could see his disappointment.
“Tavish, I—”
He reached out and took her hand. “I understand, Katie. I truly do.”
She wanted to believe him. But she hated the thought of causing him pain. “You were willing to give up everything for me.”
“Oh, Katie.” He shook his head. “You love him, I can see that. Everyone can see that. And you’re happier with him than you are with anyone else. Are you going to sit there and tell me that’s not true?” He gave her a look heavy with doubt.
Simply thinking of Joseph and the strength and love she felt whenever he was near, brought a fresh tear to her eye, and an immediate feeling of peace settled on her heart.
Tavish smiled knowingly. “That right there, Katie, is proof to me that he’ll make you happy. And that is what I want most for you.”
“You are a good man, Tavish O’Connor.”
He released her hand and leaned back in his chair, a laughing smile on his lips. “Ian told me the same thing not many days past. Either my brother is growing daft in his old age, or I am turning out to be a rather exceptional human being.”
“I would wager ’tis a bit of both.” She appreciated the light moment, though it slipped away quickly. “I want you to be happy, too.”
“I will be, Katie. I will be.”
He stayed a few minutes longer, talking on various topics. Conversation was easier between them than it had been in some time but nothing like it had once been. They were finding their new place in each other’s lives, this time as friends. And though she worried for him and ached for the pain she’d caused him, she found some hope that he would, indeed, find his own happiness.