Chapter One
Standing in the auditorium wing, eighteen-year-old Pip Underwood faced the biggest day of his life. Well, at least the biggest day so far. He picked at the hem of his forest-green graduation robe nervously, working a loose thread between his fingers. The graduation cap he wore felt a little too tight, and it prickled his scalp. Both made of rich wool, the cap and gown were too hot for the final semester of his school life.
The urge to scratch grew stronger, but Pip ignored it as best he could and rolled the thread against his thumb. A little discomfort meant nothing compared to a future lifetime of freedom away from this place.
Gazing down the line of students, each one a familiar face to Pip, he felt as apprehensive as any of them. Everyone stood waiting in line for their turn to collect their certificate to thunderous applause. There were a little over sixty kids, and at one point or another, he’d been in class with every one of them.
Stacy Hart checked her reflection in a compact mirror and fingered a curl behind her ear, then winked at herself and tucked the mirror back in her pocket. Patrick Medes elbowed his best friend, Stuart Mendez, as the line advanced. Even shy, introverted Erin Weston had come out of her shell for the occasion, but still not wanting to attract attention, she tried to make herself as small as possible. She stood just behind Pip.
As the line advanced, Pip stepped forward with it and stared at the space between Oli’s broad shoulder blades.
Only Alex Lidl, Pip’s best friend in his graduation class, missed the ceremony.
Rolling the thread a little more nervously, Pip stole another glance in the direction of Oli Stevens. By virtue of their last names, they stood close together in the line, with only a few people between them. Thankfully, so far, Oli hadn’t seemed to notice Pip’s presence. Oli played defense on Beaumont High School’s football team, and he and his friends had made Pip’s life hell since he’d come to Beaumont in his freshman year, following the death of his parents.
Graduating meant that Pip would never have to see them again. The end of school brought the end of shared lunches, a welcome end to forced group projects, and the relief of no more embarrassing locker room incidents.
Pip wouldn’t miss any of it.
Oli glanced over his shoulder and directly at Pip, undoubtedly feeling the eyes burning into the back of him. Pip stifled a gasp and looked away, too late. The line had come to a stop again, and with so many other students still waiting to walk onto the stage, Pip couldn’t escape. As Oli cut the line, heading for him, Pip shrank back and bumped into Erin, who whimpered and scrambled until she backed up against the wall. Pip couldn’t draw her into this. With nowhere left to go, he had to stand his ground.
He’d lowered his head, hoping that Erin’s technique of shrinking away might save him.
It didn’t.
The polished toes of Oli’s dress shoes appeared in Pip’s line of sight.
“Well, well, well, look who we have here,” Oli mused. The familiar sneer on his face. “The Pipsqueak himself, looking sharp tonight. Did you save all your lunch money to buy those shoes, or did someone take pity on you and buy them for you?”
“I bought them myself,” Pip looked back down at his standard black, glossy dress shoes. They were much like the ones Oli wore. “I worked odd hours at the grocery store this semester to make sure I had enough spare cash.” He didn’t owe Oli an explanation, but it came out of his mouth nonetheless.
“You’re shitting me,” Oli said with a laugh. He stepped forward, shrinking the space between them. Pip couldn’t bring himself to look up, but he knew he couldn’t keep backing up, either. Not with Erin and the wall there. “Who would hire the Almighty Underbite? Seems like a waste of money to me. Too small and weak to haul things off a truck, and too ugly to put on the cash. What did they have you do? Clean the bathrooms?”
“I stocked shelves,” Pip mumbled.
If the brunt of Oli’s attacks tonight were verbal jabs, he could endure. Sometimes, the aggression of Oli and his friends turned physical. Pip could brush off their hateful words, but he had difficulty handling it when they hit him.
“I bet. You know all about fitting things in tight spaces, don’t you?” Oli sneered.
Pip cringed. Didn't know for sure what Oli referred to and had no intention of asking, thereby extending this conversation any longer than necessary. It could have been a jab at his sexuality. Although Oli and his tribe had previously mocked him for being gay, as far as he knew, they had no idea of the truth of it. They didn't often tease him about being gay—Pip wasn't exactly out about it, and his nonexistent sex life meant there wasn’t much to tell.
“Crammed into lockers, stuffed into toilets, rolled up tight in yoga mats…” Oli continued, relieving some of Pip’s worry about being dragged out of the closet. “They’re all the things you’re good at.”
Pip said nothing, but he recalled every one of those incidents.
“I wonder if it isn’t your true calling in life.”
It wasn’t; Pip knew this for certain.
All his life he felt he had a vocational calling, a destiny to do good or even great things for the world. He just hadn’t discovered what exactly.
He wanted more and hoped to go to college. Or at least, he thought college would take him further along his path to whatever he was eventually going to do. But to study what? He didn’t know.
For now, without the resources to fund himself, Pip had struck college temporarily from his list of immediate options in life. His Aunt Lauren and Uncle Joe couldn’t afford to send him on their own dime—but one day he hoped to find his way. He hoped to discover more to life than high school bullying and dead-end, minimum-wage jobs. He could go out there and do something great.
Oli clapped his hand against Pip’s chest and pushed him back.
Erin gasped. Her heels clicked as she scurried sidewards, away from the fight.
“Underwood, Underbite, Underdog. You’re always going to be under someone, aren’t you, Pipsqueak?”
“No,” Pip whispered.
“What did you say?” Oli demanded.
Pip pursed his lips. He didn’t repeat himself.
“I thought so,” Oli said. He grabbed Pip by the front of his robes and yanked him forward. “Not even your parents could stand being around you, you know that? They’re probably the only people you’re going to stand over, and that’s only because they’re ten feet underground.”
“Oliver!” Mrs. Truman, the history teacher, scolded. Oli released Pip’s robe and stepped back. “Get back into line! We’re moving. Come on!”
Oli shot Pip a look that promised it wasn’t over, and Pip let his shoulders drop and did his best not to engage Oli again. The tiniest things set him off, it seemed. Pip looked forward to the day he wouldn’t have to worry about looking in the wrong direction, or wearing the wrong thing, or saying something that got on Oli’s nerves.
And that day would be tomorrow, he realized with a smile. Graduation this day meant freedom the next. Freedom from school at least.
He could still run into Oli and his buddies in the streets of their small town. Eventually, Pip would find a way to leave Beaumont altogether, and with it, every moment of anguish he’d endured in it.
And maybe he’d fall in love in the process. He wanted a boyfriend so badly. At eighteen, he’d never held hands with a boy, and certainly never wanted a girlfriend. He’d still not shared his first kiss. He saw other couples around school and in the community, and he longed for the same, to do those things with someone special. Over the past few years, his hormones had gone into overdrive. He longed for romance and physical contact with his one true love.
Just as he knew there must be a vocation for him, Pip also knew that out there somewhere his one true soulmate waited for him.
Beaumont wasn’t exactly a haven for nontraditional relationships, and Pip didn’t dare harbor crushes, let alone let himself look for love, in such a tight-knit community.
Already the new kid, the impoverished orphan who came to live with his relatives while his life fell apart, Pip didn’t want to draw himself into the spotlight any further. He didn’t need any other rumors spread about him. He only wanted to blend into the community. To be forgotten and ignored would've been perfect.
Pip shifted his jaw, running a hand along it to try to assure himself that he didn’t have an underbite. Oli strolled across the stage to accept his diploma and pose with the principal for pictures, leaving just a short wait for Pip's turn, followed by freedom. Sometimes, Oli’s bullying made it hard to remember his jaw issue had been fixed in middle school. He’d been retainer-free for years, underbite a thing of the past. Social media didn’t forget, though, and the bullies at school had seen his old photos.
Pipsqueak. Almighty Underbite.
He supposed, at least, they were more inventive than Loser.
From the stage, he heard Gregory Tullen’s name announced, and Mr. Alcorn, the math teacher, ushered the boy through the auditorium wing and across the stage. Pip stepped up, looking out through the wing and across the audience. Principal Kendrick stood with Vice Principal Dunn as Gregory made his way across the stage. There were only a few diplomas left, the graduation ceremony almost over.
Mr. Alcorn returned to the wing of the stage and recited the speech that Pip had heard given to every young person before him. “When they announce your name, you’ll cross the stage and shake hands with Principal Kendrick. She’ll offer you your diploma, and as it’s changing hands, you’ll stop and count to three slowly while also looking toward the audience and smiling. When Principal Kendrick releases the diploma, you’ll continue across the stage and take the next available seat in the front row of the auditorium.”
“Got it,” Pip said.
He craned his neck to glance into the auditorium. With the lights beaming down on the stage and the sitting area plunged into darkness, he couldn't see the audience, but he knew the hall was stuffed. He could almost taste the unmistakable feeling of too many bodies in a small, humid, poorly air-conditioned school building.
“And Pip?” Mr. Alcorn asked.
“Yes?”
“Congratulations.”
Pip smiled. All of the teachers at Beaumont had been wonderful—regrettably, he couldn’t say the same for the students.
Mr. Alcorn patted his back, and before Pip knew it, his name was called out.
“Pip Underwood.”
“That’s your cue,” Mr. Alcorn said. “Go for it.”
Pip bowed his head and stepped forward, heart racing. Being front and center before a crowd of strangers couldn't appeal less, but it was the final trial of high school and certainly not the worst. Pip just wanted it all over and to get out of the place for good. As he stepped out into the bright lights, the audience applauded politely. Pip’s cheeks heated, and he focused his attention on walking across the stage until he’d successfully made it to Principal Kendrick without tripping over his own feet.
“Hi, Pip,” Principal Kendrick said softly. “Congratulations.”
She held out her hand for him to shake, and Pip did so. Flashlights exploded in the audience—school photographers taking pictures for the yearbook, he guessed. Or professional photographers looking to make a buck off parents.
Vice Principal Dunn handed Principal Kendrick the diploma, and Pip grasped his end of it and slowly counted to three. More flashes went off, accompanied by a single, whooping cheer from the audience. He grinned at the recognizable sound of his Uncle Joe. Aunt Lauren couldn't make it due to work, but enthusiastic Uncle Joe more than compensated for her absence.
They were terrific guardians, even if they had their disagreements from time to time. Pip thought considered himself lucky. Not every teenage orphan got a happy ending. If bullying was all he had to deal with, then his time at Beaumont a success. A rickety achievement, but considering his circumstances, a success nevertheless.
“Go on and take your seat,” Principal Kendrick whispered. She released the diploma.
Pip smiled at her one last time. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And congratulations again.”
As Pip headed past her for the stairs leading into the audience, Erin Weston's name rang out, and the attention shifted to the next pupil. Pip breathed out a sigh of relief, took the stairs quickly, and then dropped into the empty chair next to Gregory.
They'd all finally made it.
Pip beamed into the darkness and let his head rest on the back of the chair. His mind wandered. With no idea about what came next, now his school career had finished. He had plenty to think about. He’d intended to find his own way in this big, wide world. At only eighteen, it seemed the right time for Pip to dream of bigger things. Adventure. Mystery. Suspense. Excitement.
First, Pip needed to go meet up with Alex to celebrate. In quarantine, combating an outbreak of shingles, Alex lived in a weird state of in-between where he was well enough to do things around the house and lead a normal life, but not yet well enough to venture outside.
That didn’t mean Pip couldn’t go to see him.
Once cocktail hour ended and the graduation party split up, Pip planned a full night ahead, celebrating with Alex.
The end of one chapter in his life brought closer the beginning of another.
What a chapter he intended to make it.