Chapter Three
Chase
I watch her thoughtfully as she leaves my office, my eyes falling on her ass as she sashays across my floor. Does she know how sexy she looks in that skirt? Never mind the fact that it’s a modest length at almost to her knee, it’s so fucking tight that it just clings to her curves, making her ass look like it’s ready to burst out. Then there’s that creamy white shirt that’s just sheer enough to give me the slightest glimpse of her bra. I sit forward as she closes the door, trying to control my erection, but it’s no use.
I glance at my phone. It’s after five, so technically I’m done for the day, so I see no reason not to relieve a little tension. In my defense, I’m not in the habit of yanking it out at work and going to town on myself, but today has been a shit of a day. One I want to try and forget about any way I can.
“At least it’s nearly fucking over,” I mutter to myself.
Reaching down, I lower my zipper, sliding my fingers around my length and letting it bounce free. With a groan, I lean back in my chair and pump my fist along my shaft, imagining Alana on her knees in front of me, taking my length into her mouth. The whole time I was talking to her, all I could focus on was those pouty, red lips.
Alana. I shake my head and smile as my fingers work my dick. Until today, I thought her name was Melissa. In fact, I’m pretty sure I called her that a few times. Alana suits her so much better.
Hearing her say those things about me in her office, listening to her talk about my cock like that, made me hard as fuck. I’d gotten nothing done all day because all I could think about was her. And just now, the way she stood up to me? Major turn-on.
I am so sick of women telling me what they think I want to hear and then just falling to their knees, ready to do whatever I ask of them. That had been Jade in a nutshell. Her second day here, her mouth was on the end of my cock, whether I wanted it or not. It was fine for a while, but I got bored like I always do. I needed a challenge. Something to distract me, someone, where there’s no risk of feelings developing, because inevitably, that’s what always ruins things for me. My requirements definitely were not something that any woman I associated with could satisfy. Hell, I wasn’t even sure Alana was up to the challenge, but at least she showed potential.
I block all thoughts of everything except Alana out of my head as my orgasm builds. I groan, stroking my cock, while my other hand wraps around the edge of the desk. I lever myself forward, my throat constricting as I come.
“Fuck,” I hiss. My fists tightens around my girth as I release, groaning as I come hard into my hand.
Breathing heavily, I clean myself up, thankful that Alana had the foresight to bring me extra napkins with my coffee. She must’ve known I’d be whacking off to her the moment she left me alone. Hell, if I thought I could get away with it, I’d have done it with her sitting right there.
Breathing hard, I tuck myself back in and buckle up my pants, just as someone pounds on my door. I jump up, thanking God they weren’t just a few minutes earlier, or that would’ve really ruined my day.
“Yes,” I growl.
The door swings open. I look up and double take when I see Josh walking toward me. Holy shit. I came so hard I’m seeing things. But no, he’s really there, smiling at me like we’re old friends. He sits down.
“Chase. How are you?”
He asks like it hasn’t been nearly two years since I last saw him. He almost has me fooled that he doesn’t care how I’m going to react, but the look in his eyes gives him up. He’s terrified. Just as he fucking should be. I sit back in my chair and frown at him, not saying a word.
“Josh,” I say, my tone stiffer than my dick had been only minutes before. “I can say with all honesty that you’re the last person I expected to walk into my office tonight.”
“Chase…” He sighs as I lift my eyebrows. He at least has the decency to look ashamed, though not keeping in contact is pretty low on the list of shit my brother has done to me. “I’ve been wanting to call you. I’ve just been so busy with work and stuff,” he mumbles.
“Stuff being my ex-wife?” I ask, an edge in my voice. “How is Casey, by the way?”
“She’s fine,” Josh replies. To his credit, he’s not letting me bait him into an argument. “You’re not going to make this easy for me, are you?” he asks, studying me.
“Should I be making this easy for you, Josh?” I ask, keeping my voice calm.
The funniest thing about all of this is that he’s oblivious to what today is. At least I hope he is because turning up in my office, on my wedding anniversary is a bit of a cunt move.
“Considering the circumstances, yes,” he replies, answering my question. He stands and wanders over to the window. “Playing the victim doesn’t suit you, Chase. You were just as much in the wrong as we were. Maybe even more so.” He frowns and turns to face me. “Anyway, I’m not here to dig up the past.”
“Really,” I say. I watch him suspiciously because I’m not sure I believe that. “So why are you here, then?”
He hesitates and then turns away again. I sigh, because all I want to do is shake answers out of him. Why can’t he just get it out? Say what he has to say and then fuck off?
“Hey, do you want to go out somewhere? Get a drink?” he suddenly asks. “They’re playing some live music down at The Jazz Bar. Maybe we could head there, for old times’ sake?”
A drink?
I swallow a laugh, and then shrug, pretending that him turning up after all this time hasn’t brought back a whole heap of painful memories. Things I thought I’d forgotten, or at least, moved on from. I want to kick him out, but on the other hand, I don’t want him to see how much his impromptu visit is getting to me. If a drink is all I need to do for him to leave me alone for another two years, then I’ll take it.
“Sure,” I finally say. “Let’s go.”
Neither of us says much as he drives us over to the bar. I glance out the window of his Merc—ironically, the same one I caught him fucking my wife in—pretending I give a damn about whatever it is he has to say. But I do care, don’t I? I’m so conflicted, because as much as I hate what he did to me, he’s still my brother. And my only living family member.
“How’s work?” he asks, attempting small talk.
“Busy,” I murmur.
He takes the hint and stops trying to engage me in bullshit, pointless small talk. Both of us remain silent the rest of the drive until we pull into the parking lot behind the bar. We get out and walk inside. I’m impressed to see that not much has changed, and it’s still the quiet little place that I remember. It’s located on the far side of town, so not many people know about it. Especially since there’s been a big influx of trendy bars closer to the city. Little places like this had been overlooked, and although it sucked for them from a business sense, it suited me down to the ground. I hate crowds almost as much as I hate socializing.
We find ourselves a table. I order a scotch while Josh orders a beer. Catch-ups like this used to be a regular thing and something that I looked forward to, but they haven’t happened in a long time. We used to hit this very place nearly every weekend, but that was before life and work became more important than family. Before everything went to shit with Casey.
A break-up is messy enough, but when your brother falls in love with your wife, it jumps to a whole new level of complicated.
“So, what’s going on?” I ask, taking a sip of my drink.
I’ve already decided that I’m not going to like whatever it is he has to tell me. It’s got to be big, or he wouldn’t be here. He’s either dying, or he’s getting married. I’m not sure which piece of news will upset me more.
“Not much. Same old shit, different day, really.” He frowns and studies the surface of the table, running his finger repeatedly over it a tiny crack in the wood. I’m almost at the point where I want to reach over and snap it off. “I just wanted to catch up because I feel like we lost contact when—”
“When you stole my wife from me?” I supply.
He glares at me. “You know as well as I do that things aren’t that black and white,” he growls. His eyes flash, daring me to dispute that. Then he sighs and presses his palms flat down on the table, as though he just remembered there’s a reason he’s here.
“Since you brought Casey up…I did want to talk to you about something…” I raise my eyebrows as he hesitates. The poor guy looks like he’s about to pass out. “We’re getting married.”
“You’re getting married?” I repeat, my voice sounding much calmer than I feel. Josh stares at me, looking for any hint of how I’m digesting his news, but I’m a master of disguising my emotions. “Congratulations.”
“Do you actually mean that?” he asks with uncertainty.
“Why wouldn’t I?” I say with a shrug. I stare him right in the eye until he breaks contact.
“Chase, I know that you said that you were fine with us being together, but I just wanted to make sure you meant that,” he mumbles. He lifts his beer to his mouth and drinks half of it in one go.
Yep. He’s definitely panicking.
“Of course I meant it,” I snap. “Why wouldn’t I want the two of you happy? Just because Casey is the only woman I’ve ever loved, and my only brother stole her from my arms. Why would that make a difference?”
“Chase, you know it wasn't like that, don't you?” He sounds frustrated now, which makes me happy.
“Like what?” I ask innocently, pretending that I have no idea what he's talking about.
“You were cheating on her, dammit,” he growls, his expression darkening. A little part of me feels like I’ve won, seeing him snap like that. “I know that doesn’t excuse me for falling in love with her, but it at least blurs the lines a little my way, right?” he asks.
“I'm glad she's happy, and I'm glad you're the one who’s making her happy,” I say, ignoring the weight of Josh’s stare. I rub the bridge of my nose and then I force myself to smile at him, because that couldn’t have sounded less sincere if I’d tried. He sighs and bows his head, probably realizing that it’s probably the best response he’s going to get from me. I sigh and try to swallow my pride.
“So, when is the wedding?” I ask.
Josh’s eyes cast downwards. “It’s in three weeks.”
I cough and raise my hand to my mouth, sputtering my drink into my clenched fist.
“Three weeks? That’s an awfully short engagement,” I say with a growl.
“Not really. We’ve, uh, we’ve been engaged for about six months,” he mumbles, not meeting my eyes.
I snort. He’s spent more time looking at the floor than me since we got here, which just about sums up this whole night.
“And you’re only now getting around to telling me?” I ask, scowling at him.
I don’t know whether to be amused or pissed, but being cut out of his life hurts more than I thought it would.
“Am I even invited to this wedding, Josh?” I ask him.
“Of course you are,” he snaps. “Why do you think I’m here?”
“But I wasn’t invited a week ago, was I?” I press. “Or didn’t you think I’d need the six months’ notice your other guests received. Because, you know, I sit on my ass all day and do nothing. What the hell do I need time to plan for?”
“No, I…” He sighs and sits back in his chair. “You want me to be honest with you? No. you weren’t invited last week because, until today, Case didn’t want you there.”
“Then, what’s changed?” I ask.
“She realized how much I want you there,” he says quietly.
“Well, if you want me there, how could I possibly refuse?” I say dryly.
I bite my tongue and back down from the conversation like I always do when it comes to Josh. Because no matter what happens, he’ll always be my baby brother. If the choice had been mine, we wouldn’t have lost contact like we did, because we’re the only family each other have. Josh pauses long enough to raise his eyes to mine. Anxiety flashes through them.
“So? Will you come?” he asks quietly.
“I’ll be there,” I say, after a brief pause. “You know I’ll fucking be there.”
I remember the day our parents died like it was yesterday, even though it was twenty years ago. I was nine, and Josh was only five. When they told me that they’d been killed in a car accident on the way to our school, I didn’t cry. Instead, I wrapped my arms around Josh and told him everything was going to be fine. I knew I had to be the man and protect my little brother. I had no idea what was going to happen to us, but I couldn’t let him know that.
That night, I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him in his bed as he cried. I promised him that no matter what, I’d always be there for him. I’d never let him feel alone.
I made a promise once. I’m not about to break it.
“There’s, uh, one more thing,” he finally mumbles.
“What now?” I ask with an exasperated sigh. I shift in my seat, feeling restless.
“You can tell me to go to hell, but I want to know if you’d be my best man.” He winces as he forces the words out, like he’s sure they’re going to be the ones that break me.
“At your wedding?” I say with a laugh. “It's not enough that you’ve given me three weeks’ notice after not hearing from you in two years. Or that you're marrying my ex-wife?”
“Sorry, I shouldn't have even asked you,” Josh mutters.
“No. It's fine,” I say. I sigh and rub the back of my neck. “If that’s what it takes to convince you that I'm okay with you two getting married, then fine.”
I finish my drink and then stand up, pushing my chair back in.
“I better get home. It’s been a long day, and I have even more on for tomorrow.”
“Okay, I’ll be in touch. And Chase?” He pauses, his dark eyes meeting mine. “Thanks for this. It means a lot to me.”
“No problem,” I say as I stare into his eyes. “Though next time you ask for my blessing to marry my ex-wife, maybe make sure it’s not on our damn wedding anniversary?”
I stalk out before he can answer, leaving him to ponder that.
It's a good twenty minutes from the bar to my place, but I decide to walk and catch a cab to work tomorrow. I figure I can use the time to think and clear my head. It has nothing to do with the fact that I know all I’ll be thinking about when I get back to my large, empty apartment is how alone I really am.
“Fuck,” I hiss, running my hands through my hair.
A passing woman gives me a wide berth and tightens her grip on her purse as she walks by me. I laugh because now I’m that strange guy in the street who nobody wants to be near.
Tonight was strangely reminiscent of the same night three years ago. Our last anniversary together, which I spent alone, walking home from a bar, just like this. Only back then, it was much later and I was so drunk, I could barely walk.
How the fuck did things get so messed up?
I met Casey in my second year of college. I pretty much knew right away that she was someone I wanted to be with. I couldn't resist that long, blonde hair or the way her steel blue eyes felt like they were ripping through my soul every time she looked at me. She had me wrapped around her finger from pretty much the word go, and she damn well knew it.
Early on in our relationship, I was the perfect boyfriend. But as my studies became more demanding, she had to share my attention, something she didn’t take very well. She’d get frustrated at me for working too late into the night or for forgetting the one month anniversary of our first date. Or missing a dinner reservation because I put all my time and energy into my studies.
I was ambitious and determined to make something of my life, and I wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of that. Not even Casey. I loved her. I loved her more than anything, but I struggled to show her that. Still, I persevered. I wanted to give her the life she deserved, and I wanted to show Josh that anything was achievable if you worked hard enough for it.
That’s kind of funny, considering he ended up with my wife.
When we left college and got married, things were better for a while, but once I found my place in the business world, that quickly began to change. Just like college, I put everything into getting to where I am now, and I sacrificed my marriage in the process. I regret that every day. More than anyone knows. Especially Josh.
Josh thinks he knows everything that happened between Casey and me, but he doesn't know the half of it. Not that I'll ever tell him, because if he found out the truth, it would crush him. As much as I'm hurting, I don’t want my brother to suffer. I just want him to be happy.
“Fuck. I’m such a pussy,” I mutter to myself.
I shake my head at what a mess I am. I have every part of my life in place, except when it comes to the one thing I want. People assume that I'm this hard, intimidating guy who only cares about himself because that's what I want them to think. The truth is, I’m not. I'm the guy who’s jealous of his own brother because he's managed to achieve what I couldn't.
Putting Casey first.
I arrive back at my apartment and toss my keys down on the counter as I pass through the kitchen. Peeling off my clothes, I stumble down to the bathroom and turn on the shower. I’m not that drunk, but I can barely keep my eyes open as I stand under the thick stream of water.
Turning off the taps, I step out and wrap the towel around my waist, then walk down to my bedroom. I quickly dry myself off and then climb onto the bed, collapsing face down into my pillows. I roll over and stare at the ceiling, too exhausted to bother covering myself up. As tired as I am, I can’t switch my mind off.
What a fucking day. Learning about Josh and Casey really topped it off. The only highlight was learning that the assistant to my assistant wants to suck my cock.