I watch Elliott on TV, watching the footage of him around the track. I could have taken today off. It would have looked bad at work, but I could have argued the case that Elliott needed me with this being his first time out on track after his accident.

But, I didn’t.

Jessie said that having me here would become more of a story than Elliott being out on track. The press would be absorbed by whether we were aligning the two companies, and that’s the last thing that I want when I'm trying to keep a distance and solidify my current position.

It’s also the last thing that Elliott needs when he’s trying to attract investors. He’s looking for people who will invest in him and his legacy. It would be off putting to shareholders if they thought that I was involved while still maintaining my old job.

So here I am, watching Elliott live out one of the most momentous days of his life. On TV.

Don’t get me wrong. He texted me.

Elliott: “I am back.” It said. And I’m happy. I’m delighted. He’s had his run-ins with depression while he’s been rehabilitating, and it’s not been easy so to hear him excited to enjoy the successes of all his hard work is fantastic. I just wish I’d been there, like I have every other step of the way with him. It would have been nice to see this through with him.

Kyle: “Fabulous. You weren’t nervous then?”

It takes him over an hour to reply. I know he’s busy today. He’s being pulled in a thousand different directions.

Elliott: “Sure I was. I couldn’t think straight. But as soon as I got in the car, it was like I’d never been away.”

Kyle: “Did it handle differently?”

Elliott: “Oh, yeah. We have our work cut out for us. And the engine sounds like a bag of nails.”

Then I get busy and I don’t reply again until we speak on the phone until tonight.

“So, tell me all,” I demand before he’s even had the chance to say hello.

“Well, I told you I was scared as crap beforehand. I really could have done with you there to get me through it. Nothing is the same without you. You give me strength and I regretted our decision to have you carrying on as normal.”

As he speaks, my chest puffs with pride that this amazing man needs me to help him achieve his goals. “Well, I’m glad you’re regretting it too because it was hell on earth being at work today knowing you were getting up to all this important stuff. I kept checking my phone.” I stop short of saying, checking you were OK and didn’t have another accident. He can do without that.

“Yeah Kyle, it was awful. I don’t know what it is you do, but just having you around makes everything so much easier.”

I laugh. “Well, it’s good to know you don’t know what I do,” I tease.

“Ah, shut up, you know what I mean.”

I do. “So, are you finished for the day now?”

“Yeah, I have some reports to go over, info on how the figures stack up. I don’t know which parts we need yet, but that engine is not going to win us a championship. We need to sort something out there.”

“Shall I leave you to it?” I ask.

“Yeah, you can. I still have to grab something to eat. I don’t have anything here, so I’ll have to get some dreaded takeout today.”

“Well, thank goodness you’re not trying to drive as well. You’d starve.”

“That would have been too much.”

Fear floods me, running through my veins like ice water, consuming my thoughts once again, that this situation will go on longer than I hope. We say our goodbyes and I hang up, smiling despite my angst at having spoken to him. My Elliott fix now refreshed. It’s only when I’m halfway through putting a boring, tasteless, limp salad together that I realize he didn’t ask how my day went.