Holy shit!!! That is the best sex I have ever had in my life. Hell. It was more than sex. That was…. that was…beautiful. Even with the spanking he gave me, and as humiliating as it was it was oddly cathartic. I can fill the demons and sadness in my heart being replaced with something light. And dare I say, close to happiness. Oh, and most definitely, Love.
But, then he asks the dreaded question.
“So, dove how many men in Moosehead have you slept with? The number doesn’t matter. I only want to know how many sorry ass motherfuckers, I might potentially have to fuck up for giving me or you the stink eye when this shit goes public.”
Why does the idea of him defending me make me horny and happy? I have never had someone go as hard for me as he does, and it feels great. I turn my head slightly and look into his eyes, before kissing him. Though it is a chaste kiss, I hope he can feel the thank you in it. Thank you for caring more than anyone ever has.
“The truth is, I have only slept with Hamm and Max. People assume every guy I have dated I have slept with them. And I am sure they spread the rumors themselves, because I didn’t sleep with them. But it was only those two.” I say with my head down. Not that I am necessarily ashamed about them, but about the fact that I turned brothers against each other for years.
God. I don’t deserve this. This love and compassion.
“Stop it.” He tells me as if he is reading my mind.
“You deserve it all baby. Leave the past where it is. They are both happily married. Time for you to move on as well.”
How does he know just what to say to make it all feel right?
“Baby, what do you want to do? If you had a choice to do anything with your life or change anything about you, what would you do?”
Wow. No one has ever asked me that and funny enough this is the easy question.
“First, I want to reinvent myself. I was thinking of dying my hair and maybe making it pink or something. Also, I would get a tattoo on my shoulder of an animal. People don’t know this about me, but I am an animal activist. I love all animals and deplore inhumane practices. Maybe, I would get a cow tattooed on my arm.” As soon as I say it out loud, I realize how stupid and juvenile it sounds and immediately hang my head, while waiting on the ridicule as I turn bright red.
But, he surprises me once again.
“Dove look at me. Nothing you say is dumb to me. I think you would be hot as fuck with pink hair. Not to mention it would piss your dad off.” He says with a chuckle. “And being an activist of any kind is fucking awesome babe. I am so proud of you. So, what do you want to do with the activism?”
“Well, I want to open an animal sanctuary. There is some land out on old sickle road. You know where I am talking about? It’s around 600 acres of land and the bank has placed it for sale. I would like to build some sort of animal village with all the bells and whistles. There would need to be a house on the land for myself to live in and take care of the rescued animals, while being happy.”
When I look into his eyes, he looks impressed and pleased with my answer.
“Do you want kids’ baby?” I don’t have to think about this answer, because I have always wanted a bunch of kids. I want a big family to be surrounded by, so that I never have to feel lonely again.
“Yes. I want a big family.”
“Good baby. Cause I do too. If I didn’t have my brothers and sister, I don’t know where I would be.” That’s a relief we feel the same way.
“May I ask you a question, Chip?”
“Of course, dove. You can ask me anything.”
“Do you remember your parents at all?”
When people ask me it always zings right into the middle of my heart, because the truth is I was an infant when they died. So, I don’t remember anything, and I always feel guilty that I have no memories of them at all.
When I look back on my childhood, my brothers and sister are my parents. Especially Miles.
“No baby. I was a baby when they died. Miles is the only dad I know. However, I am grateful to them for giving me life, because without them I wouldn’t be alive to have you.” I say as I wink and kiss her. My gratitude for them has never been truer than it is right now holding her in my arms.
“May I ask you another question, Sir?”
“Dove, you can ask me as many questions as you like. Also, you don’t have to ask for permission every time you do. There will be times you will need permission to make any sound at all, but that will be when we are in a scene at a club or something. Otherwise, I want you to always feel you have the right to ask me anything. Say anything you feel and think. RESPECTFULLY. As long as it is done respectfully I will always be ok with it.
“What do you want to do with your life? Do you plan to work at the shop with your family?” He looks at me like he is trying to figure out something and when he asks the next question I get what he is trying to know.
“Would it bother you if that’s what I wanted to do?” For once he looks unsure and I have to admit I hate that look on him. I like him confident and sure of himself. It makes him seem so strong and forceful.
“No Sir. I don’t care if that is what you want to do. I have enough money of my own that my grandchildren 20 times over won’t ever have to work. What you are giving me, right here and now is all I have ever wanted. Acceptance, someone to listen to me, and maybe even love.” I say biting my lip. The boldness in mentioning love slipped out, but I cannot help it. I am so in love with the man and the thought that he could love me as well, makes me want to shout it from the tallest building.
“There is no maybe about it dove. I love you so fucking much, baby. You have no idea. That will never change. You want to know something else? I love to build complicated structures. Not the actual buildings or anything, but after the building is in place I like to build the… bells and whistles. The trap doors, fancy window frames, or smart house devices, etc.…. but I don’t want to go to school for someone to tell me how to do what I have been doing for three years. And unfortunately, no one will hire you without a degree, so I have no idea what I will do.”
Holy fuck!!!! I know he can see the giddiness in my face, but when he started talking I had the best idea ever.
“We should build the sanctuary together. Then you can use it in your portfolio and make it your business. It couldn’t be more perfect if I had planned it. What do you think?”