Chapter Fourteen
Daniel
“You’ve been a bad girl.”
I murmur the words softly as Briarlee opens her eyes.
“Are you mad at me?” The first words out of her mouth are soft and small. I’m not mad at her. I’m glad she’s alive. I’m glad she’s with me. It’s no thanks to the people who told me she’d be safe. They were supposed to look after her. They didn’t.
They turned her loose. They left her to her own devices. Her downward spiral was a swift and chaotic one. The massive dose of Regenermax followed by total abandonment caused her to break down. I’ve seen the footage of her final act of rebellion several times. I don’t know how she survived it, but I know she’s never, ever going to do a thing like that again. I won’t allow it.
I thought she might do better without me. I thought she might find the freedom she’d wanted. I thought so many things. All of them wrong, all of them informed by the fear that I ruined her. In the end, it wasn’t what I did that ruined her. It’s what I didn’t do and couldn’t do.
“No, sweetheart,” I say softly. “I’m not mad.”
“I think I did something stupid.”
She did, but she was out of her mind. It wasn’t her fault. It was mine. From the beginning, Briarlee has been mine to look after.
“It’s okay now.”
“It hurts.”
“It won’t for long,” I say, pushing the button on her medical drip to send another dose of painkillers into her system.
One month. That’s all it took for her to be seriously hurt again. She wasn’t functional without me, and I think I know why. None of this was her fault. She might be broken in a way even I can’t fix. If that’s the case, I will never forgive myself.
“Doctor.”
It’s Spencer. That’s how I know him anyway. God knows what his real name is. He’s been my handler since I agreed to work with them. He’s actually a reasonable guy, a sharp contrast to the men who took me and tried to beat me into submission. I’ve been able to continue my regime of Regenermax.
“We can’t keep her here. You know we can’t. Not long term.”
Here is a facility in the mountains. It’s biologically remote, and a repository of the most dangerous substances known to man. Viruses that are supposed to be extinct are kept here, mutated and tested. Chemical compounds banned by every right-thinking government in the world are routinely synthesized and though it’s never spoken of, they must be administered. Everything from Black Plague to Novichok is housed in several feet of concrete and steel.
Having Briarlee brought here wasn’t easy. They told me she’d be better off on the outside. They told me that her protests would die down, that she’d lose interest. Instead she lost her mind.
“You want me to work for you. Fine. I accept that I can do my work here. But I don’t accept that I can’t have Briarlee with me. She needs me.”
“She’s a liability.”
“She’s a woman your people wounded. She wasn’t like this before I dosed her. She was the calmest, sweetest girl in the world.” Not strictly entirely true, but it’s not as if they know any better.
Spencer’s expression shows his disbelief at my claim.
“She’s recovering from the last time you shot her, she was left on her own without monitoring, which was not in the agreement, and she was allowed to become so destructive she could have killed herself or somebody else. You can’t keep her safe. I can. She stays with me.”
“One condition…”
“No conditions.”
I’ve been learning how to deal with the military. They’re not really interested in imprisoning anyone. They’re a bureaucracy, same as everything else. They have rules for the sake of having rules, rules that are followed only because following rules is what they do.
That’s why they need people like me. People who look past the rules to see what is possible. It was possible to make Regenermax work. And it’s possible to have Briarlee here too.
“She doesn’t have clearance. This is a top secret facility. No families. If we allow you, we have to make an exception for…”
“I’m sorry, has anyone else’s family been the second human test subject of Regenermax? Is anyone else potentially useful as an object of study?”
I have a point, and he knows it. It took time for me to accept that I wasn’t going to get away from the military without destroying myself and everything I loved. I have bowed to one great tyranny so I can be of use. But I won’t give up Briarlee ever again.
“Alright,” he sighs. “But I expect notes. Studies.”
“I could have done that a lot more effectively if she hadn’t been separated from me in the first place.”
“We don’t take civilians…” He trails off. “Yes, I know you’re civilian, but you know the difference. You’re an accomplished scientist. She isn’t. If you want her here, it has to be under strictly monitored conditions. She stays in the lab. She doesn’t leave it. Ever.”
We’ll see about that. For the moment, just having Briarlee here is enough. She’s too sick to leave a medical bed anyway. That crash caused a mass of contusions, on top of the trauma she sustained earlier. She needs a lot of care, and I’m going to give it to her.
* * *
Briarlee
When I open my eyes again, he’s there again. I thought I was dreaming until he touched me and I felt the warmth of his hand gently brushing my forehead.
“Did I die? Am I dead?”
“You didn’t die, sweetheart,” he says gently. “You’re with me. In… a hospital.”
The little hesitation tells me he’s lying. This isn’t a hospital. This is a prison. Maybe they don’t call it that. Maybe they call it a base or a lab, but it’s a place he can’t leave, and I wasn’t supposed to get into. A prison by any other name. I don’t mind. I’d go to hell to be with him.
“You’re pretty badly hurt,” he says. “Don’t move too much or too quick. These IVs are doing important things.”
“You don’t need to talk to me like a child,” I say. “I know you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad. Why would I be mad?”
We both know why he should be angry. I can’t work out why he isn’t.
“Regenermax has two well-known side effects: enhanced lust response and aggression. They both hit you much harder than I expected. Could be smaller body mass. Could be it’s not suitable for women at the moment.”
“Because a horny aggressive man is fine, but a woman is a problem.”
“You’re a problem,” he says fondly. “My problem. And I don’t mind you horny, but I do mind you declaring war on the US Military.”
“They started it,” I say sulkily.
“And they finished it. They’ve classified you with the same status I am. You’re no longer free to go. You’re stuck here. With me.”
“Good,” I smile. “That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“It’s not all you’ve ever wanted,” he smiles. “You wanted a pony once.”
“I was fourteen. And I still want a pony, but I don’t think it would fit in this hospital bed.”
He chuckles, and I feel so much better. His absence was pure pain. I felt more alone than I have ever felt. It was as if the sun went out, and my heart went out with it.
“I want you to know,” he says. “Some of your reactions could have been down to the Regenermax. We’re going to run some noninvasive tests as you recover to see where you’re at.”
“It’s not the Regenerwhatever. I feel in love with you, you idiot.”
“If it’s not the Regenermax, then you’re being rude for the sake of it—and you know how I feel about that.”
A little thrill of excitement runs through me. His gentle, but stern warning makes me feel more normal, and more cared for than anything could.
“You’re in the army now, brat,” he winks. “Better start getting some discipline.”
“Am I? In the army?”
“Well, technically no, but you know what I mean. Behave yourself, Briarlee. I’ll be dealing with you soon.”
“Dealing with me, huh?”
He smiles and I feel that flutter in my tummy again. I’m sore. I’m contained in what I’m sure is a much more secure room than the one I broke out of the first time I woke up in one of these military bases, but none of that matters right now. I’m safe. I’m with him. What else could I possibly need?