Chapter Four

I’d arranged for us to meet in the beer garden where he’d first approached me. Not because I was feeling overly sentimental, but because on the spot, I couldn’t think of anywhere else I’d rather meet, so there beer garden I was awaiting his arrival.

Arriving first I had chosen to sit at the table where we’d first met and looked up at the sky. The temperature had dropped, along with the atmospheric pressure. I’d say about half an hour before, it was at least ten degrees hotter. This was Melbourne, the city where weather changes could be so quick. Living through the cities crazy weather was weirdly pleasurable to me. I realised I was just trying to distract myself from the uncomfortable conversation which was coming, but generally this was how I felt about the weather here. There was nowhere quite like Melbourne.

Looking around the beer garden, I could see groups of men in twos (three group of twos even) to the edges of the beer garden smoking their cigarettes. None of them where committed to being out here, and were all smoking so they could rush inside at a moment’s notice.

Waiting for the clouds to open, as I waited for my man to appear.

Then, as if on cue, Jack walked through the doors and came outside. He rushed over to me and, grabbing my face in his hands planted a kiss on my lips that I’ll never forget. In that moment I am sure we were the only two people who actually wanted to be out here and that made me want to laugh, until I let Jack’s kiss take me away from my own thoughts.

We’d only been apart ten days, but it was as if we’d been away from one another for years. He wanted to be close to me and it was at fever pitch, that wanting.

We kissed and touched one another and before I knew it, I was being pulled into him.

“Jack I – I’m sorry.” I said as I was nestled into his body.

“It doesn’t matter, you’re here.” He told me, as if he needed no explanation. I was committed to giving him one though, but filed it away for later deciding to enjoy this moment, it was really a wonderful moment to be embraced by your lover like this.

He let me go and looked me over, as he stood close to me, then pulled me into a hug again. “I thought I’d lost you.” He told me, his tone full of sadness.

Feeling a little self-conscious now, I looked around the court yard, the groups of men were still there, but none was interested in us and what we were doing. Good. I could turn my attention to Jack and not feel self-conscious any longer.

“You hadn’t lost me.” I told him, “I was here all along.”

We talked a little about what had happened in the ten days we had been apart, nothing of consequence was said though before the heavens opened up and it started to pour. It was as if the sky was saying, “I don’t fuck around, even if you do.” In Melbourne, the weather is never mild and kind, it’s always extremes: incredibly hot gives way to hard rain as if it were the most natural thing in the world. I’d heard from friends overseas that our weather was weird, but it was what I knew, so it didn’t feel weird to me. Just like how Jack and this whole situation didn’t feel weird to me. Jack felt like home. Warm and familiar, even as we stood out in the crazy rain.

We stood in the rain for a few moments too long before Jack ushered me into the pub, got us each a pint and we sat in the corner together, drinking and talking.

Conversation went on for ages, each of us catching up on what the other had been doing in our absence, as if there was nothing more important in the world than the mundane parts of our lives. Our lives were seriously boring but he was keen to hear every word I had to say, to hear about all of the things that were happening with me, about how my boring work had been. He listened as if there was nothing else more important in the world, and I smiled along, telling him every detail.

When we were finished talking about all the boring stuff, I tried to break into telling him why I had been out of touch this whole time, but he made an excuse to go to the bathroom. I knew it wasn’t an excuse to get away from me, but it felt that way.

He left, and when he came back he had another drink for me and a conversation change. We talked about the pub and how we’d first met here.

“You looked so beautiful that night.” He told me, holding my hand over the table, “I couldn’t stay away, but didn’t want to interrupt…”

I shook my head at that, “You didn’t want Jerome to tell you to fuck off!” I said, my tone a little harsher than I meant it to be, in this weirdly romantic moment we were having over pints while swearing at one another.

At my words he laughed, “That too…”

“Com’on, that was the only reason you didn’t approach earlier!” I told him.

It was his turn to shake his head at me, “You don’t know that.” He said as he stared at the table between us, his eyes unfixed. His facial expression changed for a moment, for long enough for me to catch it. It went from that gooey ‘with my lover’ look he’d had since he arrived to being a more serious look, before he caught it and consciously changed it to blankness as he looked up at me.

Something in his facial expressions gave me pause, but then he was talking again, about how he didn’t think I would talk to him anyway and I was swept up in his words.

“Why wouldn’t I talk to you?” I asked.

He chuckled. “I don’t know, it’s what the boys thought.”

I raised an eyebrow at him, “Do you always listen to what the boys think?” I asked.

He shook his head then looked back down at the point on the table where he had been staring before again, “too much, actually.”

The publican came over then to collect our empty glasses. “Two more?” He asked.

We both nodded and Jack reached for his wallet, pulling out a crisp fifty and handing it to the publican. “And something for yourself.”

I wanted to roll my eyes at this bogan buying the publican a drink as he turned back to me as if that wasn’t the silliest move ever, but I didn’t. I held back and changed the subject. “So, are you going to ask me why I left?”

Jack’s face broke into a smile then, “Is it because I’m irresistible?” He moved his face so I could see the side, “it’s this irresistible jaw line, isn’t it?” He asked as I giggled, “You want to touch it, don’t you?” He asked, his voice insistent.

“No.” I told him, “I don’t want to touch –“ But he had my hand in his and was touching his jaw line with my fingers. I couldn’t resist the smile, as this ridiculous scene wore on, with me being forced to touch his ‘irresistible jaw line’ and him holding his face in a serious way. I wanted to laugh, it was everything I could do not to burst into giggles right then.

“Sure, it’s the jawline, I left because of the jaw line.” I told him, taking back my hand and making space for my pint to be placed before me by the publican.

“That’s two pints for you and one for me.” He told us as he passed Jack back the change.

Jack looked at him, disbelieving, “Where’s yours?”

The publican chuckled, “Behind the bar.”

Making a show of looking back to the bar Jack told him, “I can’t see it…”

As if to make a point, the publican went behind the bar to pour his own pint, “it’s in the tap, mate, just getting it out.” He called to Jack before holding up his pint for cheers. We held up our own and everyone laughed before the publican got back to serving customers and we got back to our conversation.

“What was I saying?” I asked.

“You were saying how you want to go home with me, because you can’t resist me, the sexy beast I am.” Jack told me, his face a cheeky grin.

I shook my head and tried to force the smile away from my face, “I’m sure that’s not it.”

“I feel like it is.” Jack told me with a serious facial expression he’d obviously kept just for the occasion.

“I can’t believe you! Trying to have a serious conversation here.” I told him.

“I can’t believe you! Trying to distract from my seduction technique.” He told me.

I laughed out loud then, “This is your seduction technique? Ignore the issue then force me to touch your face?”

Jack pushed out his bottom lip and nodded in a way that told me that was exactly what he thought. “Yeah, pretty much.” He told me, “Are you implying there is something wrong with my seduction technique?” He asked.

Then, my fingers were finding their way to his jaw line on their own, tracing it. My eyes were on his as we shared a smile. “No,” I said in almost a whisper, “there’s nothing wrong at all.”

Jack’s face told me he had lost a bit of his bravado for a moment before I pulled away and allowed him to collect himself. He reached down for his mostly full pint and made a show of how he was ready to leave, “Check please!” He said to an imaginary waitress before giving me the naughtiest look he has ever given me, a look that made me melt and that let me know there was plenty more where that cockiness came from coming. There was a reason why he was so cocky.

My breath caught in my throat as I looked down at my pint. I had hardly touched it, and the liquid was sitting just below the rim. There was no way I could finish this off in time to be going home with Jack in the rush he wanted. So I sipped it, slowly. Making a show of how slow I was drinking.

When Jack finished his own pint, he reached over and grabbed the pint from my hand, downing it in one then grabbing me by the hand, “let’s go!” He told me, as he dragged me from the pub. He made a point of saying goodbye to the publican on the way out, who was sipping at his own pint, one that was only half full at this stage.

Jack pulled me in the direction of his car before I stopped him, “wait! What are you doing?” I asked.

Jack who had been a step ahead of me stopped and turned, “What?” He asked.

“What are you doing? Where are we going?” I asked.

“I thought we were going back to your house, as always. It is closer, isn’t it?” He asked me.

Shaking my head at the dumbness of it, of inviting him back into my home right now, after it had just been swarming with cops that afternoon without saying a word about what had happened and why we had broken up in the first place. I tried to stall him so I could think this over, there was so much I had to say that I hadn’t had a chance to say yet. “Should we?”

Jack’s frustration was obvious as he answered me, “Of course we should!”

“But, we have not even spoken about why I ran away in the first place.” I told him feeling a little sad, “Why is that?”

Jack moved from the position he had just been in where he was dragging me to being beside me, “It is important.” He told me as he slipped his arms around my waist and held me close.

I’d read once that there were five love languages, and that my own (I think) would be words of affirmation. If Jack had one, it would be physical affection. Jack wasn’t one to mince words when he didn’t have to. He was definitely one to show his feelings with his body however. That must be why he was so good in bed.

I knew he wasn’t dismissing my concerns off hand, but I wanted to know why he didn’t want to know. I also really wanted to go home and have sex with him. Then I gazed into his eyes, and that sealed my fate. I would go home with him, of course, but I would also talk to him about this. Maybe in the morning, after all of the excitement had dissipated, when we could both think properly. Because damn it if I couldn’t think properly now with him standing so close, smelling so good. Being right there, and being perfect. Oh, how I wanted him. Oh, how I was going to have him.