CHAPTER TWELVE

 

THE MOMENT MY mind had recovered from the brain-scramble that came from traveling through the fairy rings, I checked on Clay. Surprisingly, he had a huge grin on his face. I gave him a questioning look, and he shrugged before pointing toward the ring on the meadow.

“That was fun,” he whispered to me as we followed Aiden and Fiona out of the forest room. “I never knew the fae had such fun things.”

I tried to hide my own grin before knocking his shoulder with mine. “At least try to remember why we’re here.”

He linked his hands with mine, and again I had to marvel at the way our auras leaped out to reach for one another. “I’m sorry, I just . . . I feel really good. I don’t know what it is.”

“I think I do,” I said, stifling a chuckle as I glanced ahead at Aiden who winked back to me. “It’s the enchantment; it can affect your mood. You get used to it after a while.”

“Why would you want to?” he asked.

I smiled at him and let him be. After the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on, I was happy that he could enjoy a few moments of peace, even if it came via a synthetic cause.

Fiona led us to a sitting room in her quarters. The walls were actually the outer shell of the court; the lights of New York twinkled through the semi-transparent surface like stars. In the middle of the room, two overly stuffed sofas sat facing one another. Clay led me over to one of them before sitting. Before I had a chance to consider where it was best for me to sit, his hands found mine, and he tugged me down beside him.

The material that covered the seats was like nothing I’d ever seen before, not even during my time at the court. Colored the lightest gray, it was softer to touch than even the richest velvet. It was almost as if the fae had plucked two clouds from the sky and forced them into the shape of a sofa.

Aiden left the room as Fiona sat across from Clay and me. Despite the regality she’d exhibited as she walked and moved through the halls of the fae court, her nerves became evident the moment she was stationery. She wrung her hands together in her lap as she tried a few times to start the heavy conversation. Her wings beat out a nervous rhythm and more than once, I had to elbow Clay to stop him from staring at them. An awkward silence seemed to permeate the entirety of the room as we waited for her to continue.

“Thank you for coming,” she said finally before concentrating on Clay. “I must apologize for the way you discovered this truth. Truly, I did not mean to cause you any anguish or distress. Though, I do wonder whether it was bound to happen regardless.”

He grunted noncommittally.

“It might be difficult to believe, but I never wanted to leave you. It was never my choice. For so long, I searched for you and your siblings when you were young. I tried so many avenues, some I never would have considered under any other circumstances.

“A few months before Ethan’s twelfth birthday, I found you. At that stage, the chance for a reunion was an impossibility. Your father had spent so much time instilling his hatred into the three of you. The three of you were already soldiers, and there was evidence that you would not pause to consider what I had to say before ending my life. Although a reunion would have been worth the risk to my life, I did not wish for that guilt to rest on your heads if you were to discover the truth.”

Clay’s features softened, no doubt hearing some of the familiar facts in her own words made him see the depth of her knowledge of his history. I was saddened at the reminder that he’d endured a life filled with death and destruction from such a tender age.

“As I promised, I will tell you the whole story; however, I will understand if it becomes too much at any stage. Please do let me know if you would like me to stop at any point.”

Making a little sound to indicate she should proceed, Clay nodded. I rested my hand over his in support.

“I was telling the truth earlier when I said I fell in love with your father. After he had rescued me, I was enamored and, for the first few months, we were both deliriously happy. At the time, I was unaware that he was a member of the Rain. Neither had I been entirely honest with him. I had hidden what I was because I was worried that it would frighten him away. Instead, I did everything I could to pretend to be human.

“By the time I found out that he was not only committed to the Rain, but a high-ranking member from an elite family, I was able to fool myself that it mattered not. I rather naively believed I could ignore that part of him and simply focus on the elements that I had fallen in love with.

“Every moment of every day, I suppressed whatever fae traits I could and hoped that he would remain unaware of my true self. In truth, I believe his love blinded him as much as anything I did. In my most optimistic moments, I had even considered coming clean and telling him everything honest and real about myself. For a long time, I believed our love was strong enough to survive anything.”

Clay grabbed my hand and clasped it tightly in his own. His expression indicated he might have been beginning to understand—at least a little.

“For a long while, I believed the day I married Troy was the happiest in my life, but it was nothing compared to the day I found out that I was expecting. I had been suppressing my true nature and all of my own desires for so long that my desire for a fledgling of my own was building long before I acknowledged it.

“It was only on the day of Ethan’s birth that it occurred to me that I should have been concerned over whether our child would be human or fae. His aura was weak, and he certainly would not have survived a life in the fae court. However, it was enough to make me worried about discovery. For the first few months of his life, I monitored each new development—waiting for the one that would give away our truth.

“When nothing happened, I saw that Ethan was almost completely human and began to relax and enjoy the role of motherhood. I convinced myself that nothing could possibly go wrong in our idyllic life.”

“Until Lou?” Clay asked quietly.

Fiona smiled sadly and nodded. “When you two came along, I made the mistake of assuming you would both be like Ethan and pass as human, but almost from birth Louise was more fae than anything else. She even had a perfect set of wings, with colors so vibrant, even for a fledgling. By then, I had been alienated from my family and was unsure where to turn for help. My concern over Troy’s reaction grew. He loved you all, and I was positive he would do whatever it took to keep you safe. However, I was unwilling to risk your lives if I was incorrect. I could not do anything detrimental to any of you. For the first couple of years of your lives, I was lucky. Because Ethan was the oldest son, the one to continue the legacy, Troy doted on him. It meant that he never spent a significant length of time around you or Louise. I was able to hide her secret until you were both almost two.”

“What happened?” I asked trying to talk around my heart, which had lodged itself securely in my throat. Having spent so much time on the run, I could easily understand the constant state of stress that Fiona must have lived with. Waiting, every moment of every day, for that one thing, that one event, that would spark a chain reaction and cause her carefully constructed lie to crumble to the ground. It was how I’d lived my life up until finding peace with Clay in the cabin in Sweden.

Her focus fell on Clay. “Troy went into your room and found Louise on the ceiling, amusing you. Of course, he recognized the fae traits immediately then, but refused to believe that she was still his daughter. He grew convinced that a changeling had replaced his flesh and blood. I tried to correct his assumptions. However, he refused to listen to me.

“He withdrew into himself. He would come straight home from work, take you and Ethan into the study, and spend the whole evening secluded away from both Louise and myself. For close to four months, that was our life. Each day, I was barely able to speak two words to him. His attention was on you boys, and he steadfastly ignored poor Louise. We were two households sharing the same roof but never communicating.

“One day, I begged for his ear. When he relented, I told him my tale. He accepted the truth calmly without any concerns. We ended the night with him saying he loved our family more than he could express and that he would make it right somehow. That night, I went to bed so exuberant, thinking that my happily ever after was finally going to materialize without the stress I had endured until that point. With his words lighting hope in my heart, I was certain he would leave the Rain and the five of us would disappear together. When I awoke the next morning, all of you were gone. I was left with nothing—not even a note explaining why he chose to steal you all away when he had appeared to accept the truth so well only hours earlier.”

She stopped to dry the tears that were beginning to shine in her eyes. Clay squeezed my hand, and when I glanced at him, there was moisture in his eyes too.

“For months, I searched in vain. Troy used every available resource within the Rain to keep you protected and hidden from me. Eventually, with a price on my head, I had no choice but to stop. Almost six years after I had left, I returned to court completely defeated. My mother welcomed me home with open arms and I saw, too late, that a lifeline had existed for me all along, if only I had been brave enough to look for it. Even now, I must wonder what different lives you might have led, if only I had been willing to reach out to my family as soon as Louise was revealed to be a true fledgling. Perhaps things might have been better for you three. If only I had been wiser and more willing to doubt the strength of the power of love to fix everything. I could have avoided the torment Louise faced, and I could have saved you from a life filled with death.”

“You can’t think like that,” Clay said. His voice was soft and full of barely suppressed emotion. “You made the decision that you thought was right at the time.”

“You don’t hate me for it?” Fiona asked quietly, her eyes silently begging for the forgiveness that only Clay and his siblings could give.

“I . . . I don’t know.”

Fiona dropped her head into her hands and Clay’s fingers twitched around mine in response.

“I’m sorry. I wish I could offer more than that, but I can’t yet. I just don’t know how I feel about anything right now. It’s going to take some time to process what you’ve told me. All I know for certain is that I want to know the truth about what was done to Lou,” he seethed. “I had to deal with her nightmares for far too long. They were real memories of actual injuries she sustained during the time she was missing. I know she was hurt when we were young. If it wasn’t by your kind, it must have been the Rain.”

“I cannot be certain who caused her injury, but of one thing I am sure,” Fiona said.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Louise’s magic has been bound. Only a fae or a very powerful mage would have the ability to do that.”

Clay gritted his teeth as he considered the fact that if everything was true, and Fiona had done nothing to contradict herself or prove otherwise, then his father must have had to turn to the enemy to “fix” Louise.

Was that part of the torture she endured? I wondered, but knew voicing the thought would only add to Clay’s emotional torrent. Did she suffer through multiple attempts to bind her abilities?

“Do you have any idea who might have done it?” I asked.

“I am uncertain. There is one I know powerful enough. I sought his assistance in finding my family when Clay and Louise were still young, but I do not believe he would have helped Troy. He hates all humans, but he hates the Rain above any other.”

“What about the help you need now?” I asked to change the subject before Clay’s anger overtook his judgment. “Tell us about that.”

“A little over a year ago, Mackenzie attended her naming ceremony and was assigned a healer role. Her excitement over helping people was palpable. Assigned as her protector, Aiden lead her out to the old refuge on North Brother Island to celebrate. She loved the freedom. Shortly after that, she decided that she wanted to find her father. He”—she looked away, toward the translucent walls—“is a member of another court. I attempted to warn her of the dangers of going alone to find him. However, she refused to listen to me and stole out on her own. No matter how hard I tried to have her watched, or how many guards I assigned to protect her, she was able to lose them and would soon disappear.” She gave a soft, sad sigh. “She is so similar to me in some unfortunate ways.”

Clay leaned forward in the seat. “And the last time she went out she didn’t come back?” he guessed.

Fiona glanced away before nodding once.

“Why do you think the Rain is involved? Maybe she just ran away like you did,” Clay suggested.

“My scouts saw her being forced into a fae cage.” A painful sob ripped from Fiona. “There were too many anti-fae protections around the cage and vehicle; our guards were powerless to stop them or help her. That is why I sought you out. We are in need of an ally who will not be affected by the protections; someone who is willing to go into the Rain to find out where my daughter is being held and rescue her.”

“I understand,” Clay said.

“Will you do it?”

“I will learn the truth about Lou and if that means going back into the Rain, so be it. If I can rescue your daughter in the process, then I will.”

Fiona sagged forward as relief flooded across her face. “I can’t thank you two enough.”

Clay’s gaze moved between Fiona and I. “No, not the two of us,” he said, as if explaining a simple concept to an idiot. “I am not letting Evie anywhere near that place.”

“Not letting me?” I questioned. I twisted my body toward his, meeting his eyes with a clear challenge in mine. “You assume that you have a say in the matter of whether I’m going or not?”

“There’s nothing to have a say in. You’re not going. They hunt your kind for a living, Evie. You’ll get hurt if you go within a mile of that place. I won’t have that on my conscience.”

“So,” I said. There was nothing he was telling me that I didn’t already know. I understood the risks, and they were almost as bad for him. I’d seen the haunted look in his gaze when he’d told me about the things that had happened to him after his family caught up with us in Charlotte. “There’s just as much of a chance of you getting hurt.”

“I can handle it.”

“Meaning that I can’t?” I seethed.

“No, meaning I know you can handle yourself, but I couldn’t cope if you were hurt,” he said.

“And if you never came back? Am I expected to just be fine with that and move on with my life?”

“No, but they know me. My risk is lower.”

“You’re as alienated from them as I am. By walking in there, you’ll be announcing that you’re back in the country and out of mourning. They’re not going to let you simply walk away again after you’re done.”

“It won’t be like that unless my family is there. No one else in the Rain will know that I shouldn’t be there. You heard Eth: it’s all forgiven when I go home. Plus, if I have the pendant, it’ll be easy. No one questions the elite.” He wouldn’t meet my eye as he said it. There was something he wasn’t saying, and it came through as loud as what he had.

“Well, if it’s going to be so easy, there’s no reason for me not to go,” I challenged.

“Evie, please?” he begged.

“Clay, no. I’m coming with you. You can either accept that and work with me, or you can look over your shoulder for me the whole time you’re there.”

“They will kill you if they suspect what you are. It’s not like the airport; they’re not idiots and buffoons. The division here in New York is filled with highly trained soldiers and Assessors.”

“Well, then I guess we better organize a decent disguise.”

“We can arrange something for you,” Fiona said, risking Clay’s ire by going against him to support me. Perhaps she knew, as I did, that two people would have a better chance of rescuing Mackenzie than Clay would on his own. “And you may stay here tonight while you work out a plan if you wish.”

“Thank you,” I said. “We could use a good night’s sleep before we decide what our next step will be.”

I wouldn’t allow Clay another word in the conversation. It was pointless after all. I didn’t want to keep fighting with him but I couldn’t let him walk into danger alone either. Not if I could help in some way. At the mere mention of an overnight stay, the tiredness I’d been staving off seemed to hit me and Clay yawned widely as well.

“I need to call Eth first,” he said.

“You know where the telephones are, Evelyn,” Fiona said. Her whole body seemed overtaken by weariness as she buried her head in her hands.

“If they haven’t moved, I do.”

Clay cast a quick glance at me before laying a hand gently on Fiona’s shoulder. “Try not to worry, I will get her back.”

My heart ached at the gesture, and the expression of pride mixed with unbridled joy that crossed Fiona’s face in the seconds after he’d said the words.