Chapter 10
Cami
This whole day has been amazing. It’s exactly what I’ve been needing after the last few weeks I’ve been having. I mean, I’ve seriously been having a really shitty time since I got back, but I must admit, having Rylee back in my life has been a godsend. She has managed to pull me out of this dull haze and bring me back to life, even with my store and the twisted way things are between me and Jace.
Her pregnancy has kept me distracted from the state of my store and she refuses to let my mind wander to the hell of a man who's stood next to me the whole day, not once letting me out of his sight.
I have to admit, I’ve really loved his attention today. It’s intoxicating. Every chance he gets he touches me, he leans in, he wraps his arms around me, he splays his fingers along my lower back sending shivers all over my skin. Like I said, intoxicating.
If Rylee had her way, she’d be keeping me caged up, far away from where Jace can get to me, but with how far along she is in her pregnancy and the whole me being partnered with him today thing, she doesn’t have a chance in hell of keeping him away from me, but she gets points for trying.
If I’m honest, I’m in a great mood and I have a bit of a buzz going on which has me wanting to be around him. He’s being sweet and caring, and it’s giving me all sorts of feels. I absolutely love it.
Especially today of all days. We’re at a wedding and weddings are supposed to be about love. The whole theme of today is expressing love, so why can’t that be the same for me and Jace… just for today?
I’ll deal with the fallout tomorrow, but right now, it’s too damn good.
We arrived at the outdoor reception not long ago and I swear, I must have been standing here for at least ten minutes gawking at how amazing the area has been set up.
We’re on this beautiful piece of land that’s scattered with trees which together create a leafy canopy that has been completely decked out with hanging fairy lights and lanterns. There’s a dance floor and tables set up, and even a few heaters scattered around to keep the guests warm. It’s seriously looks as though it’s been plucked right out of a scene from a fairy tale.
Music plays softly in the background, but I know, later on, the music will be the only thing heard for miles, especially with these guys. I mean, they know how to party. Even with the three pregnant girls, it’s still going to be a wild night.
A familiar body comes to a stop beside mine and as usual, shivers take over my skin as his hand slips into the back of my dress and claims my skin as his own. “It’s amazing,” he comments as he looks out at the leafy, fairy light canopy with me.
“Yeah,” I agree. “I change my mind. I don’t want a McWedding anymore. I want this.”
Jace leans down and gently presses his lips to my forehead. “You know I’d give it to you if I could,” he murmurs so quietly that not a soul around us would be able to hear.
I turn in his arms and look up at him. “Don’t do that,” I beg as I search his eyes. “It’s one thing for you to be treating me like a queen tonight, but don’t say things that are only going to tear me down.”
“I don’t mean to tear you down,” he tells me.
A breath escapes me and I do my best to give him an encouraging smile. “I know,” I tell him. “But when you remind me of what I can’t have, that’s exactly what happens.”
He pulls me in tight against his body and rubs his thumb over my shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I don’t ever want to hurt you.”
I know he means it. Jace has always looked out for my feelings and treated my heart like the most delicate piece of glass. He goes out of his way to make sure I don’t get hurt, only we’re both humans who have this undeniable attraction and love for one another that we physically just can’t stay away.
I’m sure if he could keep at a distance, he would, but it’s not possible and that fact alone puts both our hearts in turmoil.
Cheering goes on behind me and I pull out of Jace’s arms to find out what’s going on.
Xander has Charli dipped and is giving her one hell of a crowd pleasing kiss. The whole bridal party cheers for them and urges them on. I can’t help but grin as I watch the show. If only I could have that with this impossible man at my back.
The music playing under the canopy is turned down and the Emcee gets behind his microphone and starts introducing the bridal party to enter and take their seats.
A few minutes later, I walk in with Jace’s hand firmly on my back. He leads me to my seat and helps me in before taking his own. I sit between Rylee and Lex and before we know it, Charli and Xander are making their way in and the whole place is on their feet, cheering for the couple who have just made this the most magical night possible.
The music is turned up and drinks are served. It’s quickly becoming one of the best nights of my life. I’m finding it difficult to wipe the smile off my face, and to be honest, my cheeks are starting to ache just a little.
Food is served and soon enough, Cole is standing behind the microphone giving an incredible speech that has every last person in stitches.
The atmosphere around us is amazing and makes me want this for myself. Surrounded by all my favorite people coming together to celebrate the love you have for that one man. I mean, who wouldn’t want that?
After speeches are done and dusted, the party finally gets started. Xander and his bride are welcomed onto the dance floor and I watch with tears of joy and a champagne flute in my hand as they dance for the first time as man and wife.
And then the moment we’ve all been waiting for comes right along. Everybody is welcomed to the dance floor and all us girls go absolutely nuts. I’ve been waiting all night to be able to dance in this dress. I mean, I look fucking good, I’m not going to deny it, but now I finally have a chance to shake my ass in it and I couldn’t be happier.
Drinks are handed around and exhausted pregnant mommies-to-be sit their asses down while Zara, Izzy, Chari, and I dance the night away.
My buzz is still going strong when the music changes to a slow song and all the mommies-to-be make their way back to the dance floor. They instantly couple up with their partners and I’m about to walk away to refill my champagne flute when he pulls me into him.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Jace tells me as his arms slide around my waist and pulls me in even tighter. “I’ve been waiting for this moment all night.”
My hands come to a stop on his chest and move up around his neck, bringing me home. “Really now?” I question as I look up at that handsome face.
“Don’t be a smartass,” he scolds. “You know I have.”
I can’t help but grin as I rest my head against his chest and just be in the moment. I don’t want to ruin this by talking. I just want to enjoy being in his arms.
As always, his thumb runs back and forth across my skin as he gently sways us to the music. Two or three songs must pass and neither one of have moved an inch. Hell, I don’t even know what song is playing, all I can focus on is the soothing sound of his heartbeat within his chest. “I missed you, Cami,” he murmurs.
With just those few words, my heart grows heavy and I’m reminded of the reason I left. I don’t respond, just stand here swaying to the music, wishing things could be different.
“I wish I could take it all back,” he tells me. “I hate that I hurt you like that.”
My eyebrows furrow as I try to figure out what the hell he means by that. I pull back ever so slightly so I can look up at him. “You mean you wish you never got in bed with me, or you wish you never walked away?”
That familiar wall slams down behind his eyes and I can tell he doesn’t want to answer the question, though I should have known, as soon as things start getting too serious for him, he backs out like chicken shit. “Answer the question, Jace,” I say, already feeling my heart starting to tear at the edges.
“It’s not that easy,” he tells me while trying to be discreet as to not draw attention to our little lovers' fight in the middle of the crowded dance floor. “I’d repeat that night over and over again if I could, it was fucking incredible, but it doesn’t change anything. What we did… it hurt you. I hurt you.”
“How can you say that it doesn’t change anything?” I say. “All night you’ve been right there beside me. You watch me and touch me like you can’t breathe without me and then you go and say shit like that. What is it, Jace? You either want to be with me or you don’t. It’s as simple as that. You can’t just have pieces of me.”
“Babe,” he says with his heart in his eyes. “Don’t make me do this again.”
“Do what?” I demand.
“Make me hurt you again. You know we can’t be together.”
I shake my head. “Why, Jace?” I demand a little too loudly. I quickly glance around and notice that we’ve caught Rylee’s eyes, but I ignore the questioning look she’s giving me and focus on Jace. “It doesn’t make sense. If we can’t be together, then leave me alone. Stop pretending.”
“I’ve never once pretended.”
I search his eyes. “It’s all or nothing, Jace.”
That wall is right there, harder than ever. I see the regret in his eyes before he’s even said the words. “Then it’s nothing. It has to be nothing.”
You’d think I’d be used to the way my heart breaks by now, but every time is always worse than the one before. I drop my hands from around his neck and step back out of his arms. Silently, I turn and walk away.
Rylee catches my eye and I shake my head, begging her not to come after me. I just want to be alone.
I walk away from the dance floor and as far from the wedding guests as possible. Being far away from the heaters has the chill seeping into my bones, but with Jace on my mind, I barely notice.
It’s dark out here, but the light from the party shines bright enough that I’m not tripping over myself. I cross my arms over my chest while I beg myself not to cry. I need to hold it together for the rest of the night and then I can let it out as soon as I get home.
I just need a few moments to myself, then I’ll go back up there, put on a smile and act as though my heart isn’t in pieces inside my chest.
“Hey,” I hear Jace yelling after me, no longer giving a shit about being discreet for the party guests. “Wait a fucking minute.”
“Go away, Jace,” I beg, refusing to turn around or stop walking away.
“Stop fucking walking away from me,” he demands.
At that, I spin on my heel and march right up to him. “Excuse me?” I demand, seeing the fire in his eyes, and just like that, I know all the pent-up frustration over the last eight months has just come flying right to the forefront of his mind. “That’s rich coming from you. You’re the one always walking away. What are you even doing out here? It was all or nothing, and you picked nothing, remember?”
“Just because we can’t be together doesn’t mean I don’t fucking love you, Cameron,” he says, shredding my broken heart that much more. “It hurts me too, you know.”
“Then what’s your fucking problem? Why are you making something so simple so hard?” I seethe while he rips off his suit jacket and practically throws it at me. “I don’t want your fucking jacket.”
“I don’t give a shit. You were gone for seven fucking months, Cam. You just left. I had no fucking idea where you were of if you were even alright. Do you have any idea what that was like?”
“What’s it to you?” I scoff. “You pushed me away, just like you did tonight. You had no right to know where I was. You’re not my boyfriend, Jace, a fact you make well known over and over again. I was just giving you what you wanted. I disappeared.”
“Fuck, Cami,” he yells.
“Alright, so you want to know about my trip. What exactly is it you want to know?” I ask. “You want to know that I was absolutely miserable the whole time? That night after night I hated myself for allowing you to break me again, or that after seven months I still couldn’t forget the way you make me feel so fucking alive?”
Within the blink of an eye, he storms into me and crushes his lips to mine.
For just a moment, I allow myself to feel him and kiss him back. His lips are like heaven on top of mine and all the emotions and goodness in the world fills me. His arms wrap around me and it’s as though my every last wish has finally come true. Nothing is better than the feel of his lips on mine.
That is until I come to my senses. I throw my hands up and push him away as hard as I possibly can. “Don’t you dare,” I yell at him. “I’m done being this pathetic girl that you’ve made me into.”
He stares at me, breathing hard. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Do you have any idea what it’s like for me? What people must think of me?” I question. “Every time you trample me and I come running back for more. I’m fucking pathetic, so if this is it and there’s truly no future for us, then let me go. Stop pulling me back in. I can’t do this anymore, Jace. It hurts too much.”
He eyes remain locked on mine and he looks as though I’ve just slapped him. He steps back from me, not once taking his eyes off me.
I feel as though I’m the one doing the hurting right now and it fucking sucks, but this disastrous cycle needs to come to an end. I’m not going to do it anymore. He’s broken my heart for the last time. “Please, Jace. Let me go.”
A breath escapes him and those green eyes that hold me captivated, fall away from mine before he turns and walks away, taking my heart with him. For once in my life, I let him go. I try to let go of the feeling of being in his arms. I let go of my heart. I let go of my happiness.
That right there. That was the last time Jace King ever breaks me.
I find myself collapsing down onto a fallen log and let out a long breath. How the hell did it come to this? I was having an incredible night which was so full of love, and now… just nothing. I’m a broken shattered version of myself.
What the hell have I let Jace King turn me into?
I pull his jacket closer around my shoulders and let out a sigh. Tonight is not about me. It’s about celebrating Xander and Charli. With a sigh, I get up off the log and make my way back to the liveliness of the party.
I head in under the fairy light canopy and over to the bridal table. Rylee’s eyes clock me the second I reappear and follow every move I make as I walk straight over to Jace’s seat and drape his jacket over the back of his chair.
I feel his eyes burning a hole into my back, but I do my best to ignore it. I don’t turn around and I don’t dare search him out. He’s no longer my issue.
I don’t have a chance in hell of escaping Rylee a second time so rather than sitting down, I make my way towards her.
She makes her move and I watch as she leaves Cole’s side and strides towards me with purpose. We’re only a few steps away when her face scrunches up in agony and she doubles over, clutching her swollen bump.
“Rylee,” I scream as I race forward to grab her. Cole is right there behind her, helping me to take her weight. “What’s wrong?” I demand.
“It’s the baby,” she pants through the pain. “I think he’s coming.”