“As I live and breathe, it’s Jarvis Hayward.”

The breathy voice had every single part of him jolting upright to attention. He turned away from the kid he was talking to, a boy by the name of David who was suffering with some heavy PTSD thanks to an abusive uncle, in search of the owner of that voice.

When his eyes fell on her, everything that had narrowed down with ecstasy flared to life again.

“Cinda,” he said cordially. “What are you doing here? I thought you had some fancy post up in Boston.”

Jarvis was on the Council of an MC, The Nomads, and one of his brothers, a fellow Council member, was the unlucky sibling of the bitch in front of him.

Mundo and Cinda were night and day. Mundo joked around and was capable of having a laugh. Cinda was always serious.

She’d gone into investigative journalism a hell of a long time ago, and had stayed in the field which had had her ping-ponging all over the States.

Jarvis considered himself to be cool under fire, to have an even temper. These beliefs were shot down in flames whenever this female was around.

It was like the Goddesses had tailor made her to push every single one of his buttons.

“I was. Until I transferred.”

He snorted. “Transferred or pushed?”

Her eyes widened with irritation. “Mundo needs to learn to keep his big trap shut.”

“The day you manage to achieve that is the day you also find the solution for world peace.” He pursed his lips. “Give me a second. That is,” he started, tilting his head to the side. “If you’re here for me.”

She nodded. Once.

He turned from her and back to David. Rather than loom over the kid the way he had, he took a second to sit opposite him.

About twenty years ago, when loneliness had kicked him square between the balls, he’d opened a kind of youth shelter. It was an odd choice for a Bear Shifter and MC rider to make, he guessed, but when a dude had a calling, he had a calling.

Few of his brothers had known about the shelter. Maybe only one or two and their mates. Until recently.

He hadn’t gotten too much shit over it yet, but there was still time.

The main room was loaded mostly with mismatching tables and chairs. This was where the homeless kids came to eat. There was another room for hanging out, but it went mostly unused. He couldn’t blame the kids for staying in here. Food made this room a beacon.

Sitting down heavily, he asked, “David, why don’t you go to the clinic’s doctor?”

He funded the shelter with his own money, but some of the expenses were covered via donations. Toni, a brother’s mate, was a doctor. Of the five in the MC who’d known about the shelter, she’d been one of them.

“What? So they can dope me up with drugs? I ain’t no addict, Jarvis. You know that.”

The kid was filthy. Top to toe. He refused to use the showers on site, and wouldn’t even look through the piles of donated clothes.

He had serious mental health issues that weren’t being addressed, and Jarvis felt like shit because he knew he wasn’t doing right by the boy.

Running his hand through his hair and massaging his head a little didn’t beat off any of his frustration. “I never said you were an addict,” he murmured carefully. “But you know Toni. You’ve seen her. She’s nice. She can help.”

“I don’t need no help, Jarvis. I’m fine.”

Knowing he’d pushed David too far today, and hating that he couldn’t do more, he said, “Okay, Dave. You know I only push because I give a shit, right?”

The kid jerked his chin up in understanding. “Can I get something to eat now?”

Jarvis nodded, watching with sad eyes as the fifteen year old scrambled away, nose almost in the air as he scented out what was for dinner.

Half the back wall was open, canteen style, to the kitchens, and even Jarvis’s Bear was rumbling hungrily. The chili sure smelled great today.

Digging into his eyes with his thumbs to ease the ache gathering there, he sighed. Then stiffened when he scented Cinda’s approach. Her heels tapped against the linoleum floor, and the chair squeaked as it scraped against it.

“You smell different,” he said gruffly, not uncovering his eyes.

“I do?” she scoffed. “You always were a charmer, Jarvis.”

“My main goal in life was to always be the opposite,” he said shortly, moving his hands away this time to stare at her. As his Bear tried to figure out why she scented differently—was it a new perfume?--Jarvis asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I heard about the shelter from a friend. He mentioned your name, said you were in charge, and were the head of the charity here. I had to come and see it with my own eyes.”

He looked her over and watched her stiffen up as a result. Her She Bear grumbled behind her eyes, making the beautiful chestnut orbs flash with an amber glow in discontent at his perusal.

She had long red hair that swung about her shoulders in glossy, bouncy waves. She’d never really switched from the Farah Fawcett Major look in the original Charlie’s Angels. Though the style had worn out of fashion a long time ago, she’d never changed it and he knew why. It suited her. It framed her heart-shaped face to perfection. Highlighted her sharp, high cheekbones, and the red contrasted perfectly against her creamy, porcelain skin. She had a high brow topped with a widow’s peak, and rich russet eyebrows that flared at the sides a though she were constantly angry.

Her mouth was like sin. As red as her hair without paint, but now it was brighter still thanks to some gloss she’d swiped on. Her button nose led to a Cupid’s bow that was meant for licking.

And that was just her face.

His Bear responded to the curves she’d covered in a tight pencil skirt that clung to her ass and thighs, and the short-sleeved blouse with froufrou ruffles which didn’t hide her tits any.

“You always were beautiful,” he said gruffly. “And you always knew it.”

She firmed her jaw as she leaned forward. The move parted the high button neckline of her blouse so he could see the ripe swells of her breasts. “And you always were a jerk.” She clicked her fingers in his face. “My eyes are up here, buddy.”

“Buddy?” He huffed out a laugh. “When have we ever been buddies?”

“I got on with every single one of my brother’s ‘brothers’.” She shook her head. “But you and I were always like this. Always ready to fight.”

He pursed his lips. “Can’t you tell why?”

She frowned at him. “What are you taking about?”

“Your smell. It’s changed,” he told her again.

“So what?”

“You’ve gone off birth control, haven’t you?” he said, his tone roughening as the ramifications of what his Bear was trying to transmit to him started to hit home.

He’d been too wrapped up in David’s problems to really take notice at first. But when she’d passed him, then taken a seat and he’d had a chance to look at her, really look at her, his senses had processed something he’d never noticed before.

“Did Mundo ever tell you about Pip and Major getting together?” he asked conversationally, but his voice had deepened, growing rougher as his emotions started to spill out of control.

“No,” she said shortly. “And I never asked. Just because I have ovaries doesn’t mean I’m interested in everyone’s happily ever after.”

Her snark had him narrowing his eyes. “Jealous?” he asked softly.

For a second, that amber glow appeared. Her riled Bear flashing into existence was a warning to him to back off. But he’d never been frightened of her. Never even been frightened of her She Bear, and Goddess, She Bears were fucking insane when they shifted. Batshit. They’d kill without concern and tear into a poor SOB without compunction.

The reason?

Not because they were feral or rabid, but because a She Bear could only shift when she felt threatened. Or cornered.

It took a lot for a Shifter female to feel that way, so Jarvis figured the fucker behind the fear deserved whatever he got handed to him on a plate.

“I came here to help,” she spat, then sank back into the seat and shook her head at him. “I should have known there was no helping you.”

When she made to stand, he grabbed the wrist she placed against the table edge for support. “Don’t go. I’ll behave.”

“You never could. Why should I believe you’d start now?”

Choosing to ignore that, he repeated, “How did you want to help me?”

The way she pouted her lips told him she was still justifying whether or not he deserved her help, but she glanced around the shelter.

“From Justiss, I’d expect something like this,” she said softly, referring to one of Jarvis’s brothers. “Maybe even Major.” Then she wrinkled her nose. “Although he always was a bit of a dick too, so maybe not. But I’d never expect this of you”

He let go of her hand and folded his arms across his chest as he settled back into the chair. “Gee, that’s so kind of you to say,” he snapped, surprisingly offended by her remark.

She grinned, apparently liking that she’d managed to score a hit. “You were always the quiet one. Always the one watching your brothers’ backs… maybe it does make sense that you’d try to do the same for these kids.” She jerked her chin in David’s direction. “What’s his story?”

Jarvis turned to look at David who was hunched over his bowl of chili and had a look on his face that spoke of dying and going to heaven. Jarvis always instructed the servers to give David more. The kid was too scrawny anyway, but the way he lived, refusing to get clean, he needed the meat on his bones to stave off illnesses.

As he dipped a big chunk of cornbread into the chili loaded with cheese, Jarvis murmured, “Been on the streets since he was thirteen. Decided that was the time to stop being his uncle’s play toy.” Jarvis’s Bear wanted to roar in anger, either that or hunt down the perverted son of a bitch and rip him to shreds. The worst thing was, tracking the uncle down wouldn’t be hard at all. “Every time the authorities come for him, he sneaks off again.”

“How come? Surely the abuse would make Social Services sit up and listen?”

He turned away from the kid, letting him eat his dinner in peace, and shrugged. “Uncle’s a big wig in the Council. He’s not going anywhere. Social Services are doing David a service by turning a blind eye to him now. It helps that he’s sixteen. He’s gotten better at sneaking away.” Jarvis loosened his arms and used a hand to grip at the back of his neck where more tension was gathering. It was getting harder and harder not to react properly to her scent. Even David’s tale, so horrifying and usually the source of such fury on both the man and beast’s behalf, wasn’t enough to hold one hundred percent of his attention.

“He’s been coming here since he was thirteen?” Cinda asked softly. Sadly. Her pouty lips turned down a little at the edges and her rich chocolatey eyes were wide with distress.

“Yeah. He’s been around a long time. Just comes in for dinner. That’s it. Sometimes he’ll talk, most times I leave him alone because I don’t want him to stop coming. I live in hope that one day he’ll have a fucking shower.”

Cinda’s mouth curled up at the corners. “He refuses?”

Jarvis rolled his eyes. “Yup. Toni says it’s some kind of rebellion against his mom. David believes she knows about the abuse and is quite willing for her brother to rape him.”

“Goddess, that’s terrible.”

“Just one of the many very shitty stories about this place.” He grimaced. “You never get used to it.”

“I guess I can’t blame him for rebelling. Mundo was such a pig back when he was that age. Goddess, he stunk. Anyway, Dad had to grab him by the ears, drag him outside, and hose him down from time to time when Mundo took the rebellion too far.” She grinned. “That was so fucking funny, watching him howling in the back yard in his skin. He hated that I used to bring popcorn out to watch.”

“Pervert,” Jarvis retorted, but his own grin weakened the insult.

She snorted. “Dad made me go in when it came time to washing his privates, I promise.” She smirked. “I just loved watching Jimmy getting served his dish of paternal duty.”

“Mundo says you guys weren’t close to your father. It’s why he’s a pain in the ass with his kids. Never leaves them alone.” Much to their chagrin.

Cinda grimaced. “Yeah. That was pretty much one of the only times he’d interact with Mundo. When he started to stink. With me?” She jerked a shoulder. “He used to rag me on my homework. That was pretty much it. Rest of the time he was hardly there.”

“That’s highly common with fathers of the past, I guess.”

“Fathers all round, more like,” she retorted gruffly.

“That’s not fair,” he cautioned.

“Isn’t it? Fathers always seem to be absent.”

“That’s a very broad opinion.” He pursed his lips. “I can tell you haven’t visited Mundo in a while.”

She cocked a brow, a move that had him studying her even harder. There was a wound there, he realized. A deep, old wound that had never healed. That might never heal.

His Bear didn’t like that belief. He felt the beast rumble around inside him, discomforted immensely by her pain.

“If you did, you’d see the exact opposite. Like Mundo, most of the fathers are too involved in their children’s lives. Speak to any of the kids, they’d more than agree. And, each father has taken a liking to another child not of their blood.”

She frowned. “What does that mean?”

“Well, it’s not just the fathers, actually. The mothers, too. Jessie, for example,” he stated, naming Cinda’s niece, Mundo’s only daughter. “She’s friends with Annette.” The MC’s First Lady, mate to Mars, the Prez. “Then Mischa, she’s Kiko, the VP’s, mate. She’s close to Annette and Mars’ daughter, Ava. Jayden--” her nephew,“--is very close to Mars, and the other spoiled brat of a twin, Kon, is my bud.”

“Like a collective parenthood?” she asked, bemused by the concept.

“Yeah. Annette says it’s because it takes a village to raise a child.”

Grinning, Cinda shook her head. “You’d never know she was a human from birth, wouldn’t you?” she teased.

Jarvis chuckled. “Right. She does have weird beliefs, but what the hell can I say?” He jerked a shoulder again. “Sadly for Mars, she’s usually right.”

Her smile died a little. “I’m glad they’re righting the wrongs our fathers dealt upon us.”

“Was it more than just negligence?” he asked softly, finding her choice of words very interesting.

He didn’t want to psychoanalyze her, that was the last thing she needed or he wanted, but sometimes it was hard not to read into people.

She stared at him. “Why do you want to know?”

“I’m interested.”

She scoffed, “Since when were you interested in me? We rub each other up the wrong way, Jarvis. Always have, always will.”

“And I’ll ask you again, haven’t you figured out why yet?”

When she just frowned, still unaware, he changed the subject. “David is getting steadily worse. There’s nothing I can do for him. He won’t see the shelter’s doctors. He won’t talk to anyone.”

Her eyes softened, but the confusion was still there as she tried to figure out his cryptic remarks. “He’ll know when he’s ready to seek healing. An authority figure has abused his position of power. And that’s just on an external setting.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, David will have known that his uncle was in a position of power at the Council. Families talk about things like that.”

It had been so long since he’d been a part of a family unit, outside of the ones he’d seen at the clubhouse, he asked, “They do? Doesn’t sound something a young kid would be interested in.”

“Oh, they wouldn’t be. But humans are obsessed with power. Over dinner, his parents might have spoken about how well his uncle was doing, for example. He doesn’t have to be interested for that belief to resonate.”

“Makes sense, I guess. It’s hard for me sometimes.”

“What is?”

He grimaced. “Connecting with them. They’re so, very…”

“Human,” she interrupted with a teasing smile.

His grimaced deepened. “Exactly. The shit that’s important to them has to be important to me, but those kinds of things are conditioned from birth. I’m always at a distinct disadvantage.”

“Makes sense, but at least you try. What I meant when I said what I did is simply that David knows his uncle is in a powerful position in local politics. Not only has the man abused his position in David’s family unit, but also the one of government. He knows there is nobody to trust.” She sighed, the sound soft and sad. “I’d take it as a great compliment that he comes to you.”

“Every day,” he confirmed.

“Exactly. For so many years, too. That means a great deal. Kids like that, they tend to move around. He sticks close. Maybe because of this shelter. Maybe because of you. You’re a decent male, Jarvis. Always have been. He’ll respond to that. You’re the authority he always should have had, should have had to learn from, rather than having a son of a bitch like his uncle in his life.”

Despite himself, he was touched. Enough so that his voice creaked a little as he said, “Thank you. For saying that.”

Her smile was gentle. More gentle than he’d ever seen from her. “There’s no need to thank me. You’re the one doing the hard work. Which,” she said, then inhaled deeply, “is why I’m here. I want to help. By either publicizing this place for donations or simply to shine a light on it. Publicity is always good.”

“Is it?” He cocked a brow. “I’m not so sure.”

She studied him. “How do you fund this place? I’ve seen barely any kind of sponsored meals or galas or whatever to fund an operation of this magnitude.” She cast her gaze over him, then looked around the room. He watched her analytical glance take in the kitchens, all sparkly new and top of the line. He saw her take note of the food the kids were eating—good, wholesome dinners. Rich in macronutrients. “If you don’t run on sponsorships, then how?”

He pulled back again, leaning heavily against the rest as he murmured, “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you so interested?”

“It’s a side of you I hadn’t thought I’d ever see.”

“And that bothers you?”

“It bothers me that I read you so wrong.”

He shrugged. “We all make mistakes.”

“I made my name in journalism by not making mistakes. And I made it in a time where journalism was having a crisis. I can’t afford to make mistakes, yet I have with you.” She cut off that line of conversation by hazarding a guess, “You fund it, don’t you? Out of your own pocket?”

“Some of it,” he confided.

“Most of it,” she corrected.

“Justiss helps.”

“Justiss is the multimillionaire, isn’t he?” she asked softly. “I never knew him all that well.”

“Until he joined the Council, which is well before you left for Mississippi, he used to hang around in the background. He was always a bit of an outsider under the other presidents.”

She blinked at him, but her attention was wholly on him once more.

A fact both man and beast appreciated.

Intensely.

“Justiss played the stock markets and made himself a fortune.” Jarvis shrugged. “Along the way he helped me, too. I run this place. Use most of my funds to run it because it’s my pet project, but he helps. And Toni, his mate, is the doctor here. She donates her time and usually a lot of the medication too.”

“Pet project,” Cinda scoffed, picking up on that one remark and immediately dismissing it. “Like this could ever be considered a pet project.”

“I only have the time I don’t dedicate to the Council and the MC’s businesses to focus on this place. It’s not enough, not really. It’s a full-time job.”

For some reason, his words had her swallowing. Gulping down nerves, maybe? He had no idea why she’d be nervous until she whispered, “Let me help.”

He frowned. “Why? Why would you want to?”

“I don’t know. I just… I want to help. That was always my intention when I came here. Whether it was by helping raise money or even volunteering some time, I wanted to help.”

He took her in and wondered what had happened to the Cinda he’d always thought he’d known.

Of course, her presence here, that delicious scent she exuded by simply breathing, told him precisely how wrong that analysis had always been.

Birth control.

Goddess. They’d only realized how badly birth control could mess up the interaction between a male and his mate.

Pip had lived at the clubhouse as a club whore for years, under Major’s nose, and he hadn’t realized she was his thanks to the medication she took for PCOS. Only when she’d left the clubhouse, unable to remain as a club whore anymore when she herself felt the call of the mate bond to a male who seemingly didn’t share that call, and had taken herself off the medication thanks to no insurance to cover the costs of the meds, that her true scent had been allowed to blossom. Once Major had scented her, he’d known. And they’d mated.

How had this happened with Cinda?

She Bears never took birth control. It was unnecessary. It wasn’t like they could get pregnant with another male who wasn’t their mate. But birth control had to be the only explanation as to why the fact she was his had eluded him for so long.

“What is it?” she asked softly. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

He should tell her. He knew he should. But he wanted her to figure it out. For her to realize what he was to her. The call of the mate bond hadn’t just eluded him after all.

Pip had known Major was hers, regardless of the meds. Had Cinda known and simply evaded it?

When his Bear growled, a deep bellow that the man longed to release, he knew that was exactly what Cinda had done.

There was no other reason to go on birth control. Not unless she’d known, had always known, that he was her mate.

Rage washed through him, followed by a hurt so deep it was worse than any blow he’d ever known in a fight. Goddess, it was worse than the time he’d been sprayed by bullets on a field trip into another gang’s territory.

“How long have you known?” he asked softly, but his words were more a hiss than anything else.

“What do you mean?” she asked warily.

“Why are you back in Houston?” Jarvis asked, changing the subject. He wanted answers, and if he pushed too hard in one direction, she’d run off.

He could already sense her nervousness and could see in her body language she was prepared to rush off. She’d come to him but that didn’t mean he could shackle her here until he got all the answers he needed. Screw that. Deserved.

She didn’t mimic his pose. She hadn’t relaxed into the seat even though they’d been having a conversation. She was sitting upright, her elbows on the table as she leaned toward him. Perfect for immediately jumping into action and running away from him.

Again.

She frowned at him. “I was reassigned.”

“To Houston?”

“Yeah.”

“That was lucky, wasn’t it? Coming back to your home turf?”

She firmed her jaw. He could see the muscles tense and clench as she stated, “I might have put in a request for a transfer.”

The confession didn’t ease his anger. “Finally decide you were ready to meet your mate, did you?” he asked in a far softer tone than he’d realized he was capable of.

She immediately flinched and he knew he’d hit home.

“Why, Cinda? Why?” He shook his head at her. “Why would you do this to us?”

“You haven’t suffered,” she told him angrily. “You’re not the one who…”

When she broke off, he leaned forward, copying her posture. It was interesting that she chose that second to back away. “Who, what? Tell me, Cinda. Explain why you’ve avoided this. Us.”

She gulped. “I was too young. You were too young.”

His eyes flared wide at the bullshit excuse. He slapped his hand against the table, so hard that the sound rang around the room and his palm stung in response.

When the chatter of a two hundred teenagers came to an abrupt halt in response to his move, he sucked in a breath, seeking control. The last thing these kids needed was to see him out of control, to believe that he wasn’t the source of safety he’d always tried to project onto them.

“Lies,” he hissed before he turned to the crowd and forced a smile. “It’s okay,” he called out. “Enjoy your dinner.”

He knew the kids carried on watching them and he felt their eyes crawl over them as they slowly but steadily went back to their earlier conversations.

In the time it took for that to happen, Cinda had started to tremble; a fine quiver overtaking her limbs, and he watched, unfeeling, as she unraveled before him.

“I wasn’t ready to mate,” she whispered, closing her eyes as though that harsh truth was more than she could stand.

Goddess, she thought it was hard for her to say aloud. How the fuck did she think it felt for him to hear it?

“But you’re ready now?” he snarled at her, uncaring that she flinched. His Bear didn’t approve of his line of questioning. All the Bear wanted was to wrap her in his arms, take her to the nearest flat surface that was in complete privacy, and Claim her as his.

The Bear didn’t want to talk. He wanted action.

Pity for the Bear that at that moment all the man wanted was answers.

And until he had them all, until he knew exactly what in the hell kind of game she was playing, there would be no Claiming.

For years his brother Chris had fought the mate bond. As had his mate, Mars’s daughter, Ava. For weeks, Mundo and his mate, Christie, had had to withhold the mate bond. As had Jessie and Spyder.

And so too had Cinda, it would seem.

He’d known her for nearly forty years. She’d lied to him for forty years.

Four wasted decades of loneliness, and all because she hadn’t felt she was ready to mate.

If the tables had turned and she’d suddenly decided she was ready, then there was no way he was going to make it easy on her.

If it made him a bastard, then that was her fault. Not his.

A rejection spanning nearly half a century was the reason for that, and she’d just have to accept the consequences for her stupid, stupid decision to avoid him and their mate bond.