Genesis was quiet when we returned. Most everyone was asleep after their battle with the Vamps. I hated to rouse the masses, but they had a much bigger problem they were about to face. I looked up at the sky. My father would have called it a perfect morning. Perfection had always made me nervous. Maybe because my father was constantly seeking it for all of us. Was it possible to be the perfect son? The perfect boyfriend? The perfect student? The perfect Werewolf? The perfect person at pretending he was normal when inside he couldn’t have been more different than the masses around him?

Was it worth striving for what was never achievable or just trying to be the best version of myself? Margot hurried toward the Warrior village, the section of Genesis where the Warriors all lived together. I caught up to her earlier. “When this is over I want you to know that I’m probably going to be a terrible father. You’re going to need to school me on what I’m doing wrong.”

She stopped abruptly. “I didn’t have parents. I have memories of parents. But they’re fake. I was raised in a lab until I was old enough to take care of myself. If we have kids we might need outside help for both of us.”

I kissed her cheek. “Maybe someone can give lessons.”

A wave of dizziness hit me hard. All the shifting had finally caught up. Margot grabbed my arm, narrowing her gaze in the way that told me she’d turned on her doctor hat. “What’s wrong?”

“Too many shifts. I’m going back to my tent to crash. Can you let everyone know what we learned? I just need a few minutes.”

She sucked in a long breath. “First off, go to my tent. It’s our tent now. And yours sucks. Second, take more than a few minutes. We’ll need you tonight. Take hours. I’ll rouse you if I absolutely have to if something happens.”

“Okay.” I watched her walk off. I hated weakness but somehow with Margot, telling her I was going to pass out, didn’t make me feel like I was two feet tall.

Her scent wafted toward me, bringing me back to the world. I was stiff which told me it had been hours since I’d rested. There were other smells. My pack was close. I lifted my head as Margot’s hand came down on my hair, running her hand through it. Had anything been as sweet as this moment?

Reality crashed down. “How bad?”

“How bad is what?” Her voice was low, and she slipped in next to me.

I cleared my throat as I drew her against me. “Our situation?”

“I didn’t wake you because of crisis. It’s just past the early dinner signal. Your pack moved in around us while you slept. They’ve all put their tents in our vicinity, which I think is smart. Plans have been made but no crisis yet. Chad made arrangements to get things in motion. Glen has invented some kind of arrow that may penetrate the extra thick layer around the originals’ hearts. We’re ready to fight if we have to. Micah got to sleep, too. I just missed you.”

I breathed her in deeper. “I didn’t mean to conk out for the whole day.”

“Jason you have been running on no sleep and pushing your body beyond its limit. To have you at full capacity tonight you needed to recharge.”

She wasn’t wrong. I kissed her lips. “But I might point out you’ve been doing the same.”

Margot shifted slightly, her boobs pressing further against me. “I’m going to catch a cat nap now. That is if you’d give in and let me have what I want.”

“Have I been denying you something?” I didn’t think I had been. I couldn’t think of anything.

“Jason, you are being dense.” She straddled my body, and I thought I made the sound of oomph before her mouth came down on mine. This was so awesome. I went from tired to wide-awake in two seconds, everything in me hardening at her warmth. I loved this woman, and she wanted me. How had I gotten to be so fucking lucky?

I flipped her beneath me, and she grinned. We were both new at this, but it seemed like we’d both sorted it out rather quickly. I wanted her under me. I wanted to worship her body like this. But it went beyond that for me. I had to put myself between her and the outside world. It was a mate thing. She was mine. That meant beyond regular love for her. Letting her go the way I had when she’d headed into Doubleday headquarters was not something I was sure I could ever do again.

It went beyond obsession for me, and I wasn’t certain there was anything I could do about it.

“Every day I know you—fuck, every minute I know you—you matter more and more. I already love you so what it is now… it’s scary, Margot. I’m sorry for that. But I can’t change it. There is this powerful need in me to keep you safe. You make the world spin.”

She leaned up but only to bite down on my lower lip. My body shuddered. Her eyes were huge when she spoke to me. “You think you scare me, Jason. You don’t. You’re not a monster. And even if you were, you’re my monster. Okay? You want to put yourself between me and the world? Go right the fuck ahead.”

I loved her mouth, and I pushed mine against it to taste her deeper. Our tongues danced together. This was different than before when we’d been learning each other. Margot wanted what she wanted, and she wasn’t holding back. That was good. My mate could have all that she desired, always.

I tugged at her shirt, and she let me take it off her. I was naked from the waist up. I wanted her skin against my own. There was something about that. Her pert, pink nipples pressed against me and my mouth watered. I wasn’t going to hold back giving us both what we wanted. Life was too short to play games.

I took her nipple in my mouth. Her essence moved through me, the smell of her skin, the slight taste of salt on her skin mixed with the roses she always carried inside of her, the scent of her arousal. My cock hardened to the point of pain. And I bit down.

She cried out, her back arching, drawing her even closer against me. I didn’t want her to calm. I wanted her unsettled, and I wanted her needy until I gave her pleasure. She dug her hands into the back of my hair and the pinch of pain surged me on. Fuck, I loved this.

I touched her everywhere I could reach, eventually letting go of her nipple to travel down her body with my lips. I discarded clothes where needed, and she eventually tugged on my pants, forcing me to take them off.

She took me in her hand. “When we’re not always fighting for our lives, I want time to play with you, Jason. I want to know what it is to have you at my mercy for an hour or two.”

I kissed her nose. “As long as I can be between you and the door. That’s the rule.”

She nodded. “Yes. If that’s what you need.”

“You have no idea yet what I need. But you will.” I scooted down and pressed my tongue inside of her. I was a Wolf. We scented, we tasted. That’s what I wanted more than anything. Margot in my mouth. She moaned, and it brought me deeper inside of her. It was hard to explain, I’d never make a human understand, but she tasted like home. And. It. Was. So. Fucking. Hot.

She was wet, hot, and she wanted me. It didn’t take long to find her spot, and she was coming in my mouth like she’d been born to do so. If I believed in that crap, I’d think that was possible. Maybe part of me did. Who cared? This was now. She was mine.

I didn’t stop, not even after she came. She could come again. And again. It would never be enough.

“Jason,” her voice was low, like a caress. “In me. Now. Please.”

It was the please that undid me. “Never say please to me, Margot. Your desire is mine. If you want it, I’ll give it to you or get it for you. Anything. Anytime.”

I scooted up, kissing the spot on her throat by her shoulder that I’d marked. I licked it, hard. She needed another bite to hold the scar there. I had to give it to her. Nothing had ever been so compelling. I positioned myself just in the right place so I could push inside of her. She stretched for me, and I moved ever so slowly. Her sighs drove me forward. She enjoyed this as much as I did.

She hooked her legs around me tighter, drawing me further inside. I moaned, the sound almost animalistic. It wasn’t my Wolf. This was just me. I needed this woman like air. I pulled out and pressed back in, loving the sounds she made. More. I wanted more. Friction picked up between us. Each pass was more driven than the last.

Margot held onto me tightly, her nails digging into my back. I loved the bite of pain. She could never hurt me physically, not really, but I’d take the touch of it. It just showed me how into this she was. My fangs elongated. I was going to come soon but not until she did. It was much more important that she find pleasure than I did. It would always be that way for me.

I just knew it.

Like I knew the second before she was going to come. Margot sucked in a breath, and I knew she’d found her pleasure. Had anything ever been better? I didn’t think so. Tears streamed down her cheeks but I sensed no pain from her. I kissed them away, letting her draw me close as I lost myself inside of her warmth. I bit down on her shoulder. She cried out again. Yes, this was my woman. These stolen moments were ours.

Not time. Not Vampires. Not attacks. Not cloning. Not death. Nothing would take them from us.

I kissed her temple, listening to the sounds outside. Margot didn’t have to be ready yet, but I did. I needed to speak to my pack, to Chad, to Micah. I needed to not be lying in this bed any longer. My mate dozed next to me. She’d told me she was going to take a nap, but she was out cold, snoring slightly in her exhaustion. I hated to wake her so I didn’t. I’d get her up before we were attacked. Until then she could stay asleep as long as I could keep my eyes on the door of her home. Our home. I had to start thinking of it that way.

I stepped outside and nearly collided with one of my pack members waiting there. I rubbed my eyes. Yeah, I should have smelled him out there. I was seriously failing at this Alpha Werewolf thing.

“Matt.” I nodded at my fellow Werewolf. “I was coming to find you guys.” Sort of, if I’d had to leave the sight of this tent I was going to be in trouble. I rubbed my face. This was getting complicated. I wouldn’t trade it, but I was going to have to work out some of my issues.

Maybe.

“Alpha.” He nodded at me. “We are all very happy about your mating. A mated Alpha is a secure Alpha. She seems like a very smart Female.”

I cleared my throat. “Back when we all lived before the world ended, did you call women females? Did that go over well for you?”

Matt laughed. It was a strange sound. We so rarely did anymore and I was suddenly enormously relieved that he’d understood that was meant to be funny.

“No, totally not. My mate would have killed me. She was human.” His smile fell. “She didn’t live through the initial Vampires. She’s not one.”

Unlike my mother, who was still out there somewhere feeding on blood. I put my hand on his shoulder. “I’d like to hear about her sometime. Was there something you needed?”

“Just to tell you that we’re all ready to battle again. We won’t let them through again.”

I sighed. “I’ve asked a lot from you guys, and I’ve been running around.”

“You’ve been gathering information. We even know they’re coming thanks to you.”

I supposed he was right but truth was I was a lousy Alpha. I’d hardly considered them at all, my mind totally taken up with Margot and mating. But I had heard mating was all-consuming and that had proved very true.

“This is a war you didn’t ask to fight in. I didn’t bring you here for this reason. I get it if some people want to go.”

He shook his head. “We forgot what it was like to be part of a community like this. We forgot how it was we used to live. We remembered since we’ve been here and so far most of them aren’t treating us like an us versus them thing. Not everyone has been fantastic but most people are. We want to stay. We need to battle to do that. That’s what we’ll do.”

“Do me a favor, Matt, and let everyone know that I’m not going anywhere. If anyone has concerns I’m here. Also.” I couldn’t believe I was just going to up and ask after so much trepidation about it only days earlier but I felt different now. Stronger. Secure. Whatever it was, I needed to know. “Why did you guys want me back? I haven’t been a great Alpha so far. Why ask for my cloning? Why harass the scientists and the others for it to the point that they let me live through my accidental cloning? Why?”

He shook his head. “I’ve known you since you were a baby, Jason. I don’t want to speak ill of the dead.”

Matt had to mean my father. “I asked you for an answer. Feel free to give me one. Even if you think I won’t like it.”

“He wasn’t very kind. You always were. Alpha, but kind. We all felt like we’d had enough distress. We wanted to start over. We needed an Alpha who might want to make things better, not dominate the world.”

He left me that thought. I stood there, the breeze smelling like rain as it hit me in the face. Matt was right. My father hadn’t been a nice man. Not all the time. He was a complicated person. A doctor who had saved a tremendous amount of lives. I used to hear how he never rushed a patient out of the office, made everyone feel like they mattered even if they were a hypochondriac. Years later, in these circumstances, he’d had to take on even more roles. He’d had to suddenly preform surgeries he’d not even seen since med school and deliver babies without the help of modern medicine.

My father had preformed beautifully.

But he’d become a bit of a megalomaniac. All in the name of our pack. I sighed. He was more than my father, he was my Alpha and I’d made excuse after excuse for him in the name of pack loyalty. I’d thrown myself into the idea that I was a Werewolf and he was my Alpha. I would obey. I closed my eyes. I was Alpha now. I knew how completely ridiculous it was to assume that my father had a clue about anything when I so clearly did not.

I rubbed my face.

My father had been a terrible Alpha and a complicated man. I couldn’t live with him constantly on my shoulder. I couldn’t let his burdens, his self-destruction, and his weakness determine my life. He’d fallen weakness to a virus that brought out the worst of him. I would never have that, thanks to Margot and others who had cured it. I didn’t have to act like I was about to become psychotic. That had not been my path. Hell, those times hadn’t even been this body.

“Chad,” I called out to him as I saw him in the distance, and he jumped, hearing his name. He strode over to me, looking at the tents in a circle now taking up part of the area.

“Did your pack move over here?” He spun around, checking out the new arrangements. “You okay?”

I nodded. “Yes. Something interesting. When I was in the place with Margot, following the Vamps, one of the Doubledays told me you guys have the ability to end this but you don’t know how. Do you know what she meant?”

His face fell. “The cloning machine. We don’t know how to turn it off. Icahn had a safety measure he kept in Genesis. He could have ended all of it. We found it. But we don’t know how to safely shut it off without potentially risking the clones that are alive. Like you and me. And Margot for that matter. It may instantly kill us. It might not. We have no idea, and we are convinced that no one really knows. So we don’t do it.”

I didn’t want to die, but even more than that, I didn’t want Margot to die. I was sure I didn’t have to explain this to Chad who was himself cloned. “We don’t know who all the clones are. Not really, right? There was so much of that going on before we even became aware of it. In our pack we knew of the cryogenic sleep you’d all had but it was news to us that Icahn had brought himself back from the dead however many times he’d done that.”

Chad put his hands on his hips. “Yes. For all we know everyone here is a clone. We turn that thing off and we lose everyone.”

“The other side of that is that Doubleday—whichever one of her is in charge—keeps messing with the original Vamps and we lose to her because she can keep bringing herself back to keep doing it.”

We were both quiet until Chad spoke again. “And that’s why we stumble. There is no way out of this. Someone will have to decide, but neither Deacon nor I, let alone Tiffani feel qualified to make those kinds of life and death decisions. Maybe that’s ridiculous. We send people out to die all the time. But this potential mass destruction? Damn. I don’t know, Jason.”

The burden of leadership. I was deeply familiar with it. Chad had a baby to meet. Did he potentially end his life for the good of everyone else? What if that ended Rachel?

“We’ll see what happens tonight. We’re forewarned. That’s a good thing.”

Chad nodded. “I think so, too. Thanks for getting that information. Thanks for being here. You and I have bad history. But I think it’s different now.”

“It is.” Everything was different. I just hoped it wasn’t about to be all over.

I sniffed the air. Battle was imminent. I could smell it. “They’re coming.”

“So glad you’re here.” Chad ran off as I strode into the tent. I bent over Margot’s sleeping form and kissed her cheek. She smiled, not waking. I did it again. “Sweetheart, time to get up.”

Her eyes fluttered open. “Time?”

“Yes.” I kissed her mouth, her neck where I’d bitten her, her cheeks again. “You stay safe. Understand? The wounded get brought to you, you don’t go looking for the wounded.”

She narrowed her eyes at me but there was no anger in them. “My alpha ordering me around like I haven’t taken care of myself a long time.”

“Came with the mating. I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

She shook her head, reaching up to kiss me straight on the lips. “We never do. If this had been that time you lived in, it would still be the same. Random acts of death happened all the time, right? You’re going to fight. I know there is risk but there always was. Am I wrong?”

“You’re not.” I smoothed her hair off her forehead. “You’re so lovely, Margot. I’d do it all again. Every second of this fucked up existence to be here with you now. Every mistake. Every wrong move. Every time I screwed up. I’d do it because somewhere in that time I must have been doing things to become worthy of you.”

“Oh, Jason. When you say things like that you sound like you’re saying goodbye. That’s not what we’re doing, is it? This is see you later, not goodbye.”

I had to tell her the truth. “I’m always saying goodbye. That’s just the reality of things.”

She didn’t argue with me, which I appreciated. Margot lived in the real world. Instead she tugged my mouth to hers again. “Do your best to come back.”

“Sometimes my head gets lost in things that don’t matter. But you draw me back here, to home. To you.”

Margot sat up straight. “Like what? What do you get lost in?”

“I wonder, for example, if this is it or if there is some place we go when we die. And if there is some place—like they used to tell us before the world ended—then is there some version up there of me or did I not get to go because I did bad shit. Or, if this version of me dies, will I be judged on that version? Or could two of us get to go there?”

She got up on her knees. “I was never raised on any religion at all. We haven’t had that since I existed. My maker sure seems to think she’s a god. So I don’t have any of that information. None at all. Did Werewolves get to go to heaven?”

That was a good question. “Not according to a lot of belief systems. But a Werewolf ran the church we went to. We may have had a different take.”

She touched her hand over my heart. “You’re good, Jason. I wish you would stop worrying about it. I can feel it deep inside of me. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere you’re not anyway. And… who knows. If clones are judged by the actions of our makers then I’m genocidal and royally screwed.”

Nothing in her face or her scent told me she was particularly worried about this. “You don’t get lost in philosophical questions in your mind?”

She shook her head, slowly. “No, I worry about things like do I have enough antibiotics? Could we start investing in ways to make more? Bandages? Training new doctors so it’s not just me…”

Those were really important questions. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Don’t get lost in the middle of the battle. Save it for downtime. I’d hate to lose you, Jace, because you’re not in the present. The past was what it was. We can’t change any of that. All we have is now.”

I kissed her nose. “I won’t forget where I’m supposed to be. Stay safe, my love.” I loved how she was calling me Jace. This was the second time. My mother used to do that. I shoved that thought away, too. Death. Heaven. Hell. What came next or didn’t. My mother. Father. Damn. Someday I’d really like to just spend time worrying what I was going to eat for dinner.