Chapter Twenty-Four
Colt had finished brushing his teeth and was getting tucked up into bed by Ava while Logan supervised Ella’s dental hygiene. Dressed in pink shortie pajamas that just perfectly matched her toothbrush his daughter swished and spit into the sink. He placed her toothbrush into the holder and helped her wipe down her face, noticing that she’d picked up a few freckles this summer. Ava was a stickler for sunscreen but freckles always found a way. He’d had them when he was about her age, too.
“Did you catch the killer yet, Daddy?”
What in the–?
“I’m not sure what you mean, jellybean.”
His pretty little girl rolled her eyes at him. Rolled her eyes. He had some fun to look forward to when she was a teenager. Six years old and she already thought he was an idiot.
“Daddy, I know why we’re here. You never want to come to see Grandma and Grandpa. I heard you tell Mommy. You’re going to find the bad guy like you always do.”
At least she thought he was good at his job. But it did bring up the question of just how much his children knew about what he did for a living. He and Ava didn’t discuss the details very often around them. He could only imagine how they perceived his career. He was gone for long stretches and while Ava’s job was much more sedate she was as deeply entrenched in the criminal world as he was. She did copious amounts of research for every story and it would have been a shock if the twins hadn’t picked up on that despite their efforts to keep them away from the family business.
He was surprised, however, that they were aware he didn’t want to come to Corville. They were growing up fast and they had Ava’s brains. Smart as a whip, they understood far more than he’d given them credit for. They joked that the twins were six going on sixteen but he was beginning to think that it was nothing to laugh at.
“I’m going to try and catch the bad guy.”
He’d keep his answers in simple terms a child could understand but already he could see intelligence in his daughter’s eyes that was far beyond her chronological age. She saw things that other children ignored or didn’t care about. Brianna seemed to notice all the little details of a situation and she’d managed to put the puzzle together quite well. Something her mother excelled at.
“You’ll get him,” Brianna pronounced confidently. “Mommy says you’re amazing at catching bad guys.”
Mommy said that? His chest puffed up with pride. She wasn’t so bad herself.
“When did you hear Mommy say that?”
“When she was talking to Aunt Kaylee on the phone.”
Thank God that’s all they’d been talking about. Kaylee’s books were rather…steamy…and she sometimes asked Ava for advice when it came to a scene. Logan had a feeling that some of his sex life had made it into a few books but frankly he’d been afraid to find out for sure.
Sitting down on the closed toilet, Logan smoothed down Brianna’s hair. Like her mother’s, it had a tendency to curl in the heat and humidity.
“Did Mommy know that you were listening to her conversation?”
Wrinkling her nose, Brianna shook her head. Jesus, she looked so much like Ava.
“I was supposed to be in bed sleeping, but I wanted a drink of water.”
Brianna always wanted a drink of water. Sleeping was the enemy to her.
“Where was I?”
His daughter shrugged. “At work. Like always. Are you going to read us a story tonight?”
At work. Like always.
He was planning to do something about that. No more being away for days or even weeks at a time. He was missing too much. He was missing Ava. Did she miss him? Or had she become used to his absences? Did she prefer him to be gone?
“It’s rude to listen in to other people’s conversations, sweet pea. Don’t do that. And yes, I’m going to read you a story. What do you want to hear?”
“The story about the princess.” Again. He knew it by heart. Along with the one about the naughty dinosaurs and the one about the rabbit that wouldn’t eat his vegetables. He swung Brianna up onto his back and headed to the bedroom. “Daddy, have you ever shot anyone?”
Abruptly stopping in the hallway, he stared up at his innocent little angel. Jesus, where had that question come from? What in the hell did she think he did for a living? Why was she even thinking about this stuff?
“Brianna–” He broke off, not even sure how to respond. He had indeed shot and killed people. First when he was in the military and then as a cop, but he wasn’t sure that this was information his six-year-old needed in her life. “You shouldn’t ask someone that question.”
His daughter wasn’t going to be deterred, however. “Colt and I watched a show on television and the sheriff shot several bad guys.”
That’s it. No more television. Ever, or at least until she was about thirty. He was always telling Ava that the kids watched too much even though she already controlled their screen time like a military drill sergeant. Apparently even a few hours a day was far too much.
“What were you watching? You shouldn’t watch that anymore.”
“Bonanza,” she replied immediately. “You said that show was okay.”
Christ on a cracker, he’d thought it was. He’d urged the kids to watch older show reruns thinking they’d be more innocent. Maybe Ava was right to let them watch Spongebob. No one was ever shot in the street standing next to a house made out of a pineapple.
“I think you should read more. Television will rot your brain.”
Hadn’t his mother said the very same thing to him when he’d sat in front of the television set every Saturday watching hour after hour of mind-numbing entertainment? Hell, he’d watched Bonanza and look how he’d turned out. He was doing fine.
He’d also watched television with Wade and look how he’d turned out. Maybe television didn’t matter after all.
Brianna giggled and patted him on the head. “Ewww, rotting brains. That’s icky.”
Kids loved farts and gore.
Ava popped her head out of Colt’s bedroom. “Are you ready for your night-night story?”
Logan placed Brianna on the floor and she ran to the end of Colt’s bed and curled up, waiting for another retelling of the princess adventures.
“What took you so long?” Ava asked, reaching for a few books off the shelf. “Did she give you a hard time about brushing her teeth? She’s usually really good about that.”
Logan shook his head, deliberately keeping his voice down. “She brushed without complaint. No, she asked me if I’d caught the shooter yet. Then she asked me if I’d ever shot anyone because she saw an episode of Bonanza where the sheriff killed the bad guys.”
“I told you those old westerns were violent,” Ava sighed. “They’ve both had a lot of questions lately about your job and what I write. I think Colt read a part of one of my chapters that I was working on a few weeks ago although I doubt he understood it. How did you answer?”
Suddenly Logan wished his children hadn’t learned to read so early or were so good at it.
“I told her not to watch Bonanza anymore and that she shouldn’t ask people those type of questions.”
Ava gave him a dubious look. “And she bought that? I’m all for them not watching old westerns anymore but it’s only natural for them to have curiosity about what we do, Logan. One of their friend’s parents is a doctor, another is a pastry chef. We’re ass deep in crime. They were going to figure it out sooner or later.”
Later was better.
“She asked me if I’ve killed anyone. Why couldn’t she ask where babies come from or the meaning of life?” He took a sharp breath. “And they know I don’t want to be here.”
“We’ve never talked down to them. When they’ve asked us questions about babies or life or why the sky is blue, we’ve always tried to tell them the truth in an age appropriate way. Maybe it’s time they heard a new story.”
She wasn’t saying…
“The one about how mommy and daddy met.” He opened his mouth to object but she held up her hand. “Hear me out. We won’t give them all the dirty details that will give them nightmares and keep them from sleeping for the next five or ten years. But they’re asking for information about their parents. Isn’t there a way we can give it to them without scarring them for life? There has to be.”
His gaze moved from his wife to his children, whispering and giggling as Colt showed Brianna something he’d drawn. They were so young…so innocent. His heart squeezed in his chest at the thought of life coming along and ruining all of that. Keeping them safe was his first and most important responsibility. He wanted them to stay young forever but that’s not how this worked. His job – and Ava’s – was to prepare them to leave. That was the funny thing about parenthood. It was his job to raise his children to grow up and not need him anymore. It didn’t matter if he needed them.
They were only six. Couldn’t they stay happy and naive for just a little while longer? Better yet, a lot longer. The world turned entirely too fast and he couldn’t stop it no matter how much he wanted to. But he could slow it down just a little bit.
“They’re too young,” Logan finally replied. “They know all they need to know for now. It will just scare them.”
It didn’t matter anyway. In a few weeks or months, he’d be off of the road and home every night. Just another paper pusher in an office, or in his case a computer geek, digging up details and history.
Better that they think of their father as boring as hell rather than some outlaw chasing, white-hat wearing lawman. He didn’t want them to think he was any sort of hero because he wasn’t. He didn’t want them to emulate him when choosing their careers. His children were going to grow up and have regular jobs like normal people. Chasing criminals and solving mysteries were out of the question.