T WAS NEARLY two hours later when Killian bounded over to me. I was lurking outside the bar. By then I was starving hungry and feeling weak. The last two hours, I’d been facing the fact that I had effectively made myself destitute. With nowhere to stay, I was alone on the street in a totally strange town, with no more than a couple of dollars I could use.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong, do you really hate the bar? I should have picked somewhere nicer. What happened?”
I explained to him how stupid I had been about the money. “Killian,” I leaned against his chest, “I don’t have the street smarts for all this. You can’t take me along, I’ll drag you down. I’m too slow.”
He held me tight. “No, darling. You’re not. You’re maybe a little hungry, though. And you’re out of your element. Let’s get you inside and get you fed.” I felt safer when he squeezed me. “Don’t worry.” He looked into my eyes, “I’m here to take care of you.”
~~
He guided me into the murmuring hush inside the smart bar. His touch on my shoulder was reassuring. He seated me then slid into the shelter of the booth deep inside the bar. Demanding food, he was charming to the waitress but the way he spoke made her understand. He wanted food for me and with no delay. He was attentive and his unblinking stare never left my face.
Like a concerned father he watched me eat. He watched every little taste that I took. How I liked everything. “Is that how you like it? Let me get you some more.” Talked about nothing in ways that were funny and distracting. He studied my face all the time, looking to see that I was okay.
After a while I calmed down and I brightened up. He pressed a wad of bills on me. However many ways I protested, he said, “You can’t go within a hundred miles of any account of your own. Not your phone, not your rent, not a car payment, and definitely not your bank.
“Being with me has wiped all of that out for you. For now, at least. For a few weeks, probably.” Over the brim of his coffee cup he watched my reactions and he said, “It’s a cost. A cost of being with someone like me.”
Resigned, I took up the bills.
His face relaxed. “Good. That’s one thing I can stop worrying about. You need anything, anything at all, you tell me. Understood?” He waited for my nod. “I want you somewhere safe. I’ve got us a nice little place to stay. It’s cozy, it’s cute, and the master bedroom suite is an adorable seclusion.”
“It’s a what?” I couldn’t help laughing. He sounded so not right, using that marketing jargon.
He drew a breath. “That’s what it said on the web site.” It would be hard for me not to love him then if I didn’t already. Still, I wasn’t ready to let it go. “You were at work when we first met. No harm came to me then.”
“You got messed up with me, Clara Pearmaine. I don’t call that ‘no harm’ coming to you.”
“I want to be with you.”
“And you will. Before and, even better, afterward.” He leaned across the table, “Do you have any idea what I’m going to do to you after?”
“If it’s anything like what you did to me up on that forest clearing, it could well kill me.”
His voice was low. “It will be like that, but a lot more. And it will be far, far worse.” I fidgeted. “I’ll invade you and turn you inside out to reach your deepest, secret places. I’ll blast your honey with my cream in places you haven’t even found yourself.
“I’ll turn you inside out and shake you insensible.”
An evil grin lit his brooding eyes. His cruel mouth hardly moved. “How does that sound for a starter?”
I couldn’t speak. I swallowed. My cheeks prickled and colored. The beat of my heart seemed to have lost its way and gone into fast freeform. The swell of my chest could not let go of the breath.
He told me, “You’ll like the little house I got us. I promise you will. It’s going to be our little nest. We’ve to get in some food and drink, whatever else we need and we’re set.” He called for the check. “I can take you to get some groceries, then I’ll take you to the apartment. It’s a nice little house, actually. I’ll leave you there while I go and earn my crust, do the dirty deed, and we’re set for the night.”
“I want to come with you. There must be something I can do to help.”
“Don’t be upset at me telling you this and all power to you. You’ve kept your cool in some testing fucking circumstances. No doubt about that. You handled yourself like a pro with the hooded G-man or whatever he is.”
I interrupted him. “I know. You don’t want to have to worry about me.”
“It could make the situation complicated for me. If I’m distracted, thinking about someone else.” I put my hand on his.
“I understand. It’s okay.” It would have to be.