Chapter Four
Marshall rolled his pretty hazel eyes, making me want to laugh. "Not beyond the fact that I have no idea you made it for five years without losing it…and going bananas." He said that last part out of the side of his mouth, and then compressed his lips to keep from laughing.
Wow, he really and truly was a giant dork. And I really and truly was starting to fall for him already. So much for making my great escape. Not that I'd ever stood a chance in living without my mate after I met him anyway. The moment he'd held out a curvy gnome I'd been done.
"Sorry," he said, snickering. "I couldn't help it." Taking a deep breath, he wiped the ridiculous smile off his face and blinked away the humor in his eyes. "You were still a kid, Quinn. A kid who'd gotten his first taste of freedom and––" he cringed, clearly trying to keep from offending me with whatever it was he was about to say. "Used it unwisely," he finished hesitantly, cringing into a smile.
I chuckled, running my tongue over my teeth. "You can say I was stupid. And gorillas actually eat mostly bamboo and termites."
"Oh," he said, still doing that cringe smile thing that made him look a bit crazy. "How nice."
I couldn't help it. I started laughing. If this was what my future had the potential to be like, I could handle missing out on a few sights. How likely was I to find half the beauty tucked away in different parts of the world that I had standing right in front of me, looking awkward as hell?
“Hey, Marshall,” Harley called through Carter’s open window, making the blonde jump awake, reaching out snap-fast and latching onto the arm Harley had directly in front of his mate, trying to show Marshall the screen.
Carter pulled back just in time to stop from snapping his mate's elbow, blinking over at Harley before reaching out and smacking him in the chest. "You know better than to do that when I'm napping!"
The giant chuckled, like the idea of his arm being broken was worth messing with his mate, and I shook my head, wondering how those two survived each other.
"You might want to see this," Harley said, still holding out the technology.
"What is it?" Marshall asked hesitantly as he moved toward the SUV, probably thinking the same thing I was. Nothing good ever came from you might want to see this.
"Police report Green sent over because it has your name on it," Harley said, and Marshall froze, eyes wide. He swallowed, looking toward the phone like it was a snake ready to attack him.
"He scans for all of our names all the time," Harley continued, lowering the phone when he realized with an understanding smile that Marshall wasn't going to read the thing. "I guess your brother and his friend are alive, but they are saying you attacked them."
Taking a deep, calming breath, Marshall let his head fall forward on his shoulders, chuckling slightly after a moment. "That's brave considering they were trying to kidnap me when I hit them." Shaking his head, he lifted his gaze to Harley, finally stepping closer to the vehicle. “So, what now? Should I go back and see about clearing my name?"
"Nah," Harley said, restarting the car. "Nothing good can come from going back there. That leaves them with too much leverage. It would be best to let them come to us."
"I sure wish I knew how much that asshole paid my greedy brother for me," Marshall mumbled, climbing in the back seat through my side, giving me a great view of his pert little ass as he did.
"Twelve grand," Harley answered, checking over his shoulder to pull out on the highway while we clicked on our seatbelts. "That was the asking price on the craigslist ad before Green shut it down." Harley chuckled, rolling his eyes. "He has a search running on that too. He's nothing if not thorough. But anyone who has already seen it and taken the information down can still act on it. Edmond's ex-boyfriend was trying to do exactly what your brother did. Resell Edmond to the same people from before."
Glancing over, I decided I didn't like the space between us. Reaching over, I unclicked Marshall's seatbelt making him gasp just before I grabbed him around the waist and scooted him to the center seat, grabbing the seatbelt and buckling him in.
Trying to hide his smile, Marshall looked back up front, meeting Harley's gaze in the review mirror. "I thought Oscar was dead."
"He didn't sell Edmond to Oscar." Harley shrugged. "He'd found one of the other numbers. They had a shit ton of listings, all looking for people with marks on their skin. Must have been one of the few runners we never caught," the bear grumbled, clearly disgruntled.
"Damn," Marshall whispered, sinking into my side as I put my arm over the back of his seat. "Twelve grand?" he asked in disbelief. "Where the hell did his money that Gran gave us go?"
"Gambling," Harley said, handing the phone he'd been trying to show Marshall earlier back over his shoulder. "Racetrack apparently. He owes a lot more than twelve grand, but I'm sure it would have been enough to keep someone off of his back for a little while."
"Wow," Marshall said, shaking his head. "At least it wasn't about the Heelys."
"The what?" Harley asked the question I was thinking, and I glanced down at my mate, waiting for some kind of explanation.
"They were these shoes back in like two thousand and eight and two thousand and nine," he answered, lifting his foot. "They had a wheel in the heel. He got some for Christmas one year and threw a fit because I got a Nintendo DS. He was mean to me all the time after that."
Snorting out a laugh, I shook my head. "You thought he was selling you because you got a better Christmas present than him a decade ago?"
Marshall shrugged, raising his eyebrows. "Well, I'm sorry I didn't automatically jump to the conclusion that he had thousands of dollars worth of illegal debt."
But selling a brother because of a Christmas present?
"I remember Heelys, Carter said, a strange smile on his face. Probably strange because it actually looked peaceful instead of deranged. "I had some. I used to fly up and down the wood floors in the hallway. My mom hated those things."
***
I spent the entire ride back to Purdy watching the man beside me, with a strangely happy sensation in my gut, and I resigned myself to the life of living in one place with one man.
When we got back to the leap house, I kissed him on the cheek and started hunting down Pierce. Somebody had mentioned that he and Boston wanted to add to their family and had decided to start looking for a house.
I was hoping he could point me in the general direction of finding one also. I loved my new friends here, but the communal living conditions reminded me too much of prison with the lack of privacy. Or maybe the halfway house I'd had to stay in directly after I was released.
Either way, it reminded me a bit too much of a time when I was at my lowest, and I didn't want to be there again. Especially starting out with my mate.
My mate. I'd really grown used to the word and the meaning behind it and I found that I was more than happy to try this whole thing out with Marshall. In fact, the more time I had to think about it. I actually found myself getting excited about it.
Around dinnertime, I finally hunted down my mate, but he was already sitting between Carter and Pierce, and when he looked up when I walked in, he looked quickly away. But not quickly enough for me not to notice his slightly puffy, reddened eyes. He'd obviously been crying. And if the way he wasn't looking at me was any indication, either he didn't want me to see him sad, or it was my fault he was that way.
When Carter caught my eye with his cold stare, I couldn't tell what he was thinking, as usual. He could be planning a party…or my funeral. I was definitely the more dominant of the two of us physically, but the way he looked at me made me wonder if he wouldn't still find a way to kill me if need be.
Looking at Harley on his other side, I waited for him to meet my eye, but when he did, it was only to cringe. Well, that was about as telling as it got.
Something had happened when I was running around Purdy, and it absolutely involved Marshall and me.
Sighing, I sat down across from my mate, hoping if I was in his line of sight, he'd have to look at me, but he was pretty crafty at looking at everything in the room but me. After he'd pushed his food around until it was nearly falling off the side of his plate and absolutely none of it was going in his mouth, I growled.
"Marshall." I wasn't usually very aggressive, but I'd be damned if I was going to sit there and watch my mate not take very good care of himself. "Eat."
His hazel eyes, which looked much greener with the red rimming them, snapped to mine and he blinked, obviously shocked by my tone of voice. I'd only ever been gentle with him up until that point, worrying about his feelings. But his health was more important to me at the moment than his feelings and all we'd eaten all day long had been road snacks in an effort to get home faster and I wasn't about to let him get away with not getting something substantial in his stomach.
Movement in the peripheral of my vision brought my focus away from Marshall, and it was to find Harley wrestling his mate, pulling him down into his lap and wrapping both of his giant arms around the blonde who was growling and shooting daggers in my direction.
Trusting Harley to not let the hellcat loose so that he may gut me, I turned back to my mate, once again focusing completely on him.
Blinking those pretty eyes, he hesitantly speared a piece of chicken and slowly brought it up to his mouth. When his lips wrapped around the fork and skimmed the prongs as he pulled it free, I had to stifle a moan.
He chewed slowly, his jaw flexing, making me want to nibble the stubble there. I met his eyes again, letting him see the desire in mine and watching his pupil eat up the pretty green, brown and yellow.
When he swallowed, his Adam's-apple bobbed under the creamy skin, and I licked my lips, unconsciously scooting to the edge of my seat, feeling poised to attack.
By the time he was done with his meal, I'd had enough. Standing, I stalked around the table, sidestepping Carter just in case he hadn't calmed down and grabbed my mate's chair, spinning him and the seat to face me before leaning down and once again slinging him over my shoulder, making him gasp but not protest.
Richmond was probably going to be making Donkey Kong jokes all night, but I didn't care. I needed to fix whatever was wrong with my mate, and I needed to fix it now.
Marching through the kitchen and toward the stairs in the living room, I ignored the surprised gaze of everyone I passed. Tromping up the stairs, I couldn't resist moving my hand slowly up and down the back of his taught thigh, liking his shudder when the tips of my fingers slid up along the seam and right over where the material was bunched around his balls.
Deciding I didn't need the distraction of his bedroom in that moment, I went into mine, using my foot to slam the door before placing him on his feet and crowding him up against the wall.
"Why are you mad at me?" I demanded, leaning down so that our eyes were only inches apart.
"I'm not," he squeaked, making me sigh.
I didn't want to scare him. I just wanted to know what the hell was going on. Everything had been so great since the amazing sex in the trees. Why was he pulling away now?
Closing my eyes, I leaned my forehead against his, breathing in his intoxicating scent. "Please, Marshall. Just tell me what I did so I can fix it."
Groaning, his hands came up to grab my hips. "You didn't do anything, Quinn. I'm sorry about Carter. You know how he is. I didn't realize I ranked up there in stabbing others territory like Harley, but he's just super over-protective. I'll talk to him. Make sure he doesn't slip in your room at night and––" I opened my eyes when I felt him cringe. "Actually, I might have to see if Flynn or Harley will post a guard at your door. In fact, maybe we should put bars on your wind––"
"I'm not worried about Carter right now, I'm worried about you," I said, cutting off his rambling. "What happened between this afternoon when we got back and dinner? Why won't you look at me?"
Sighing, he met my gaze, biting his lip. "I just got to thinking and realized something."
Dropping my hands, I stepped back, already guessing what this was about. "Is this about the prison thing?"
"What?! No. I already told you that doesn't bother me, Quinn. You were so young and vulnerable. That asshole knew exactly what he was doing when he found you, and I hope he gets stabbed in prison."
Biting my lips to keep from smiling, I watched Marshall as he started pacing. When he stopped, tilting his head to the side, I walked up behind him, looking at what he was concentrating so hard on.
It was a sketch one of my three cellmate's in prison had drawn for me after we'd sat around one night, talking about all the things we wanted to do when we got out. It was an odd collage of different sights around the world. Big Ben melting into the Eiffel Tower with the Great Pyramids standing tall in the background. Large cliffs and huge open grasslands with tiny paths that looked like they'd be better suited for walking than driving and the Great Wall of China wrapping around the edges. As soon as I'd gotten out, I'd bought a frame for the beautiful artwork, and I'd kept it as a reminder of why I was going to do everything in my power to never be stuck again.
"That's amazing," Marshall whispered, a sad smile on his beautiful face. "Who drew that for you?"
"A friend from prison." Taking his shoulders in my hands, I turned him, needing to wipe the sadness off of his face. It hurt too much to see.
He hadn't even looked like this when his own brother had tried to sell him for the second time in less than a year.
"Tell me what's going on, Marshall."
"When I said I was thinking––" He licked his top lip, drawing it into his mouth and raking the plump flesh with his teeth. "I'm your mate, right?"
Blinking in surprise, I nodded, not sure how he knew that without me telling him, but too concerned with whether or not that was the reason he was sad to worry about how he found out.
"I have lived with shifters a while. What happened this afternoon." He blushed bright red, and the color looked so beautiful on him, I nearly leaned forward and rubbed my face against his gorgeous skin. "With you going without…you know."
He made a gesture that looked sort of looked like jacking off and once again, I hid a smile, nodding.
"I've heard about that." He rolled his eyes, smirking. "Bennett can be very educational sometimes whether you like it or not."
"Yeah," I said dryly. "I've heard the phrase bear dick so many times I can't even look at Thompsyn without thinking about his dick. And that gets a bit uncomfortable when he's trying to have a conversation with me, and all I can hear is bear dick, bear dick, bear dick in my head."
Marshall snickered, and the sound made butterflies flutter happily in my stomach.
After a pause where I just watched my beautiful mate, thinking how amazingly blessed I was to have such a perfect being in my life, I slid my hand up and cupped his face. "So you know you're my mate because swallowing your cum made me come without touching myself," I said, my voice going husky at the end when his skin started to heat beneath my hand. "Are you trying to avoid me because you don't want to be my mate?"
"No!" he nearly yelled. "No," he said softer. "I just remembered something you said back in the motel room. You said you thought you were going to get to go to New York, but you didn't know how many of those big plans you were going to get to do now." Tears were brimming his eyes when he looked up at me. "That's because of me, isn't it? Because I'm your mate."
The tears spilled over, breaking my heart and I pulled him into my arms, resting my head on the top of his as he sobbed into my chest.
"Shit. I'm so sorry, baby," I whispered rocking him slightly. "Yes, I meant because you were my mate and yes, I was a little disappointed that all my plans were going to get messed up, but it doesn't matter anymore. The more time I spend with you, I can see how much more fulfilling my life will be just by being with you. I don't need to travel."
He mumbled something into the indention between my bicep and shoulder, and I realized if I was squeezing him hard enough that I couldn't understand him, I was probably cutting off his airflow too. Easing up on my hold, I pulled my head back slightly, waiting for him to look up at me.
When those luminous, multicolored eyes met mine, I smiled. Regardless of everything, I was not letting him get away from me. He was mine.
"I'm sorry, Marsh. Could you repeat that?"
"I said, I don't want you to have to give up your dreams for me. I don't know what all you have planned…but I've thought about traveling. Maybe we could do it together."
"No, sweetie." I smiled, beyond happy that he would pick up and roam the world with me just to make me happy, but now that I had him, I wasn't worried about my happiness anymore. Looking into his gorgeous face every morning was going to be everything I ever needed.
He jerked in my arms, his hands going lax against my back as his gorgeous face just crumpled. "Oh," he said quietly, looking broken.
"What? What's wrong?" I knew it was going to be a while before I was any good at this relationship thing, but I thought I'd be able to make it past the first fifteen minutes without breaking my mate's heart.
"So, are you saying no until you get back or do you mean no forever?"
"What?! No. Nonono. I meant we don't have to travel." Wow, I was fucking this up pretty good already, wasn't I? "I thought I needed that stuff to feel free, but I've never felt freer in my life than when I was sucking your cock."
Marshall choked, eyes widening, and I smiled like an asshole because I loved the blush that stole across his skin at my shocking words. "Wow." Clearing his throat when he had himself under control, his face went serious. "What if I want to see the world? Would you go with me?"
Was he serious? Was that seriously something he wanted to do? "You want to travel?"
"Yeah," he nodded. "Before I was kidnapped, my first big trip was going to be New York to see if it was even anything I was cut out for, but I was actually thinking about going to Europe in the spring if all went well."
Was this really happening? This couldn't be real, right? I'd already been given so much by having a mate so perfect dropped into my life. That I might actually get to have my old dream and my new dream at the same time just seemed impossible.
I licked my lips, feeling a frown tug against my brow. "When I got out of prison, I wanted nothing more than to flee. I needed freedom like I needed breath. First my mother and then prison, I've spent the last twenty-five years of my life at someone else's whim." I smiled, running my thumb along his cheekbone, wanting to kiss him, but knowing we needed to talk. "I came here for the same reason you booked that ticket to New York. I needed to see if I was even cut out for traveling. But then…"
I cringed, but he smiled sympathetically. "You were worried I was going to hold you back."
Closing my eyes again, I sighed, drawing his head against my chest once again. "Yeah, I'm so sorry. I was a fucking idiot."
His breath was warm, penetrating the fabric of my shirt straight through to my nipple and I shivered, wishing my dick would understand that it still wasn't time for that.
I tilted my hips back, needing him to know how sincere I was. That I wasn't letting the fact that I wanted him so much it hurt dictate how sorry I was that I hadn't done better from the beginning.
How many times had I hurt this man with my stupidity? How many times was his embarrassment a direct result of me not being emotionally capable of understanding the importance of a mate?
When his hand tentatively slid up my back along the deep groove made by my muscles on either side of my spine, I shuddered again, barely remembering not to press my hips forward.
"I just really hate myself right now," I said, huskily before clearing my throat. "I hate that for even a minute you were hurt by my stupidity."
"Stop, okay," he whispered, tilting his head back. "You act like I didn't realize it was something you've been planning long before you knew you were going to end up with a mate at twenty-five."
I started to apologize again, but he saw it coming, holding up a hand. "I wasn't hurt because you wanted something different with your life before you met me." He made a face, rolling his eyes. "Okay, maybe it hurt that you didn't take one look at me and know that you wanted to be with me and only me for the rest of your life no matter what, but mostly I was hurt because I know how shifters are after living around them for so long. Parker gave up everything and moved to Kansas to be with his mate. Thompsyn gave up his solitude for his. And Flynn was more than willing to give up being the alpha for Ridley. I was sad because I knew you'd give up all your dreams for me and that's not fucking fair."
He swallowed, taking a deep breath before giving me a sad smile. "Especially when I don't really have any ambitions. Not really. I can literally go anywhere and do anything and be fine.
"I fell into managing that restaurant because I'd started there as a busboy and apparently I was cut out for the food industry, but it wasn't something I was passionate about. I just wasn't sure if it was something I wanted to do for the rest of my life and the money my gran set aside for me to do with as I pleased was just sitting there in that bank account and I thought, I could go places."