The volume levels in the truck stop restaurant were enough to give him a headache, but the coffee was good, and the food wasn’t drowned in grease so he wouldn’t complain too much. He loved his job. He could afford a good life for Mal. It wasn’t like he saw exotic places, but he drove through some pretty country. It gave him time to think—sometimes too much.

He let his gaze travel around the crowded room. It could’ve been any one of a hundred stops he’d made over the years. The faces blended, but occasionally you’d see a familiar one. A big, burly guy sat across the room from him. An old hook up, but he couldn’t call the man a friend with benefits. They hadn’t made eye contact, but in his gut, he knew the man would approach him or send him a look to signal to him to meet outside. That wasn’t what he wanted. Sex turned into the only way he’d allowed himself to be needed. Every experience ended in disappointment and a sharp explosion of self-loathing. He and Linc weren't an item, maybe never would be, yet that didn’t change the fact he’d felt as if he cheated on Linc.

All the years that had passed since he accepted he was gay, he’d wasted them on other men out of fear. He couldn’t do that anymore. Yet he didn’t understand how to move forward.

Why wasn’t this easier? He pushed his empty plate to the other side of the table.

He’d thought coming out would’ve made him happy—instead, he’d felt trapped. A friend of his, Bull, had told him the story of his coming out. It was similar to his. Bull had decided he couldn’t hide anymore. His friend’s story had helped him accept that not everybody’s moment of self-acceptance was the same.

Voicing aloud that he was gay was the right decision, he knew it was. Although, this wasn’t how he’d pictured his life four years later.

Every time he’d opened his mouth to tell Linc how he felt about him—nothing came. Fear choked back his confession; he’d lost everyone he’d assumed loved him except Bear. The older man had been his rock. Loved him through the banishment. Bear even cut ties with the family over their disowning him. His mother, Bear’s sister, and uncle were always close. Best friends and it had hurt when he’d ruined that.

“Hey, man.” The big, burly trucker he’d hoped would ignore him sat down on the other side of the table.

“Hey, Nox.”

“You look like you got some shit on your mind.”

“It’s nothing.”

Nox rapped his knuckles on the tabletop. They didn’t know each other well, but Nox seemed lighter. Nox’s deep scowl a little softer.

“We got a few hours to kill.”

“I’m not—”

The man snorted and shook his head. “I ain’t talking about fucking. Found a cute little thing who doesn’t mind my shitty schedule.”

His gaze fell to the man’s ring finger to find a thick gold band.

“Congratulations.”

“Thanks. So, talk it out.”

“I fell in love with my ex-wife’s brother.”

“Complicated.”

“Not so much, really. My ex, Melanie, we’ve been best friends since we were kids. We’re still best friends, and she’s been trying to get me to ask Linc out for years.”

“Then what the fuck’s the problem? Doesn’t seem the ex has an issue, so what about the ex-brother-in-law?”

He took a sip of his coffee trying to get his thoughts together, but it was all chaos and mixed emotions in his head. He knew what he felt for Linc, there wasn’t any doubt in that department, but would the man see him as lacking.

“Never told him.” He woke his phone up and turned it toward Nox. The background of the screen was a recent picture of Linc and Mal. One he’d taken before he’d left on this run.

“You got a cute family there.”

“He takes care of Mal while I’m away. Melanie is—why am I telling you this?”

“Why not? Strangers tend to be impartial when it comes to all this shit. I’m sorta returning the favor. Six months ago, I sat in a place similar to this in Mississippi. Some old dude bought me a beer. Said I looked like I had problems I needed to talk out.” A wide smile spread across the man’s mouth, and Nox scrubbed a hand over his beard.

“Did you?”

“I had plenty of problems. My younger brother’s best friend to be exact. Things got a little out of hand one night, and the next morning before he woke up, I ran. Took every run my company wanted to send me on. Stayed away for a month only to come home to find my little man camped out in my house.”

King laughed and shook his head. It reminded him of his friend and bandmate Joker and his husband, Dem. Joker ran too, but when he got back, Dem was there waiting to claim his man.

“Seems to have all worked out for you.”

“It did. So, what’s your issue then? Seems to me you got all the playing house down. He takes care of your—”

“Ours.” The urge to correct anyone who used yours when it came to who Mal’s parents were turned into an automatic response. “Melanie and me were always clear that Linc was as much a parent as the two of us. He’s practically raised Mal. Our kid is amazing because of him. Melanie can pursue her dream of going to college. And me, I can work a job that provides well for us. I can’t imagine life without him, and that’s what scares the fuck out of me. That he won’t be there if he knew.”

“What happens if he finds out and he wants the same? It could be a win-win, or least you can find out so you can move on.”

“All the advice sounds easy enough, but it really ain’t.”

“Because you’re thinking about all the shit that you shouldn’t do. Answer me one fucking question without putting all your bullshit doubts into it. What do you want?”

“Linc.”

“Then you know exactly what you need to do. But tonight, man, you gotta play.”

He was thankful for the change in subject. He sensed Nox had reached his limit with all the warm and fuzzies or relationships advice.

“The bar out back has got the shittiest open mic night. The diner is busy because everyone escaped.”

“Can’t be that bad.”

“Oh, it’s bad. I got no talent whatsoever, but even I know those fuckers are slaughtering everything.”

He was thankful for the distraction and the way Nox didn’t make shit weird. And the mean ass trucker looked happy. He’d admit he was a bit jealous. He and Nox were similar in attitude and looks, and their past hookups mainly carried out because of boredom.

“So get your fucking guitar and come on.”

“Fine, let me take care of my check, and I have to run to my truck.”

“Meet you over there. But call your man first, just to say hi.”

He shook his head as Nox disappeared. It was weird taking advice from someone he’d fucked, especially one who looked like Nox. Hell, he had Melanie and Nox telling him what he should do, and it was fucked up they knew more about what needed to happen than he did.

He grabbed the check off the table and went to pay. Linc and his last conversation had been a bit awkward; it could be his own insecurities—like talking—but he didn’t think so. He took care of the check and walked outside. On the way to his rig, he pulled out his phone and hit Linc’s speed dial, then listened to it ring.

“Hey, you’re calling early.”

“Yeah, I got roped into playing some open mic night thing. Seems it’s a nightmare at the bar.”

“You know, you never told me why you never tried to go all world-famous musician.”

“Because playing is fun and I don’t want it to be a job. Besides, being away driving is bad enough, leaving y’all for months at a time would kill me.”

“We might miss you a bit.”

“Asshole, you’re all heart. Where’s our kid?”

“Last I heard he was being held hostage by his twin bodyguards. Playdate with the Crew hellions.”

He tried not to be disappointed that Mal was away again. Yet he also knew Linc needed a break and some alone time. Linc was full-time dad most of the time, and in some ways, he was jealous of the time Linc spent with Mal. He just didn’t know if he could find another job that would pay as well as the one he had.

“Our kid has a better social life than I do.”

“That he does. Oh, Melanie called, she had a date.”

When he reached his truck, he spun and leaned back against it. “Do tell.”

“Seems it’s a regular at the restaurant, always sits in her section and Melanie sounded excited about the date.”

“Did you call Little to do a background check?”

“No, and we’re not going to. She still hasn’t forgiven you for that one.”

“It was one damn time. And the guy looked shady as fuck.”

The guy had seemed nice enough, but he hadn’t paid attention to Mal. The bastard had appeared annoyed when Melanie held Mal and didn’t give the guy her full attention. Some people didn’t do well with kids. He’d gotten Little to do a quick check. One time and they still didn’t let him forget.

“Um, have we forgotten what our friends look like?”

“Not the point, Linc, not the point.”

“It was definitely the point. She brought him to meet us, and what happened, you sicced Psycho and Livingston on him. The man couldn’t run away fast enough.”

He chuckled as he remembered the look on the guy’s face when he’d gotten out of the car to a yard full of bikers.

“Just proved he wasn’t right for her.”

“Well, you’ll have to sic Lily or Peaches, maybe one of the others on this one.”

“We finally get a girlfriend? Good, she has terrible taste in men.”

“She married you.”

“Yeah, her gay best friend.”

“I’m not going to win this one.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Why I love you, I don’t have a clue.”

King had heard it many times over the years, I love you, man, or some variation, but each time it struck him momentarily speechless.

“Because I’m cute?”

“Maybe, but not that cute. You going to be home Friday or Saturday?”

“Should be in late Friday. We still on for dinner Saturday?”

“Of course. A grown-up dinner, and I’ll need to recover from vegan overload. Playdate is at Psycho’s place.”

“Sorry.”

He wasn’t really. He was happy that he didn’t have to suffer through some tofu-based hell. He still had nightmares about the black bean veggie burger he’d had to choke down the last time.

“No, you’re not. Go play and don’t make me have to come bail you out.”

“I’ve never had you come bail me out, and the one time you did, that was only because Dem wasn’t around to keep Joker out of trouble.”

“Whatever, just do as I say.”

“Yes, dear.”

They said their goodbyes, and he retrieved his guitar case, then made his way toward the little cement building in back. Playing soothed him when he needed to think or everything became too much for him. He’d made his decision, now, all he needed was to have the balls to go through with it. On the one hand, he’d get everything he’d always wanted. But on the other, he could lose it all. Two more days and he’d know if he stood a chance with the man of his dreams.