Ten steps to cross the room and six to the coffeemaker. Jason refilled his cup and counted eleven steps back to his chair. It took some persuading, but he'd convinced Deidre to go home.
So he sat here alone with only his thoughts for company. He leaned his head against the wall behind his chair. He thought of the first time he'd seen Beth. It had been at the city park.
Across the park, Amber's hands waved as she talked to a girl he'd never seen. The girl's hair spread across her shoulders and shimmered like an angel's halo in the sunlight.
He walked over. The angel looked too sweet and innocent for this side of town. He looked into her tear-filled eyes. Angels shouldn't cry. "Hey Amber, what's happening?"
"The pampered princess thought she'd cross the tracks." Amber sneered. "I told her to run back to her rich daddy. She doesn't belong here."
He looked at the girl, and his heart slammed against his ribs. He wanted to wipe away the sadness from her eyes. She spoke in a voice as luscious as creamy milk chocolate filled with caramel.
"I didn't think people here would care about my parents." Her shoulders slumped. "I guess it was a bad idea to come."
Shivers slid along his spine. "No, it wasn't."
She looked at him. A spark floated in the pool of tears. Was that hope? He understood the need to belong. "Stay."
Her sweet smile warmed him, and the angel claimed his heart.
"Jason."
A warm hand on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts of the past. He opened his eyes to find Deidre next to him. The sterile chill of the lounge vanquished the warmth of his memories. He checked the time. Eight hours since they'd had an update on Beth.
"You need to rest."
"I can't leave. She might wake, or…" He scrubbed his hands over his eyes.
"I checked at the nurse's station. They told me her vital signs haven't changed, but they are stable. I peeked into her room. She's resting and has more color." Deidre straightened her shoulders. "You promised, if I went home to sleep, you would take a break."
Surprised at the way she stood up to him, he grinned. "I lied."
She raised an eyebrow. He shook his head. If someone had asked him to describe Deidre, he would have compared her to a piece of fluff that would blow away in a light breeze. He never knew she possessed this determination or strength.
"All right. I could use a shower and a change of clothes." He stood and stretched. "But promise you'll phone me if you get any news. No matter what happens, I want to be with her."
"I've learned my lesson. If there's any change, I'll call."
"Lesson about what?"
"Nothing important." She pushed his arm. "Go."
Jason checked his watch. "I'll stop in at the shop and tell her friends what's happened. She called them her family."
Deidre nodded. "They've been more of a family to her than Archer and I ever were."
Before he left, Jason gave his number to Deidre and left it at the nurse's desk.
Ten minutes later, he stood outside Delectable Delights. It was full of customers and employees who chatted, laughed, and were unaware of how their lives were about to change. He rubbed his mouth and opened the door.
Abbey rushed to him. "Beth hasn't come in yet. I've called her, but she didn't answer her phone. She told me she was having dinner with you last night. Do you know where she is?"
"Let's sit." Jason put a hand on her back, but she didn't move.
She turned and grabbed his arm. "Where is she?"
"There's been an accident."
"Beth!"
Everyone in the shop turned to stare. Before he could explain, Erik raced to her. He put an arm around Abbey's shoulders and led her to the chairs. Employees and customers gathered around.
He rubbed his hand together to ease the chill in his bones. "There was an accident last night. Beth's in the hospital." Gasps rippled through the crowd.
Jason told them what he knew about Beth's crash and explained how the firemen had to cut the car to get her out. He described her injuries and the surgery, but the hardest part was telling them she hadn't regained consciousness. Abbey cried, but she wasn't the only one shaken by the news. Shock and fear covered every face.
Erik looked at Abbey. "We have to go to the hospital."
Abbey nodded. "We'll close the shop."
Jason's stomach clenched. He didn't want to give them more bad news, but they needed to know. "She can't have visitors."
"I don't care." Abbey grabbed Erik's hand. "We have to be with her."
"We take care of each other." Erik wiped a hand over his eyes. "That's what family does."
Jason rubbed at the ache between his brows. "What you can do for Beth is to keep the shop open until she gets back. We don't want her to worry about the shop or you."
"You're right. We'll stay open, but we'll still be at the hospital." Abbey wiped her eyes. "We'll put together a schedule so everyone can visit. We'll take turns."
Jason released the breath he'd been holding. "That's a good idea."
The employees returned to work with tear-drenched eyes and choked sobs. While the customers sat at their tables with looks of stunned disbelief on their faces.
Abbey and Erik stood with Jason. She threw her arms around his waist. "Thank you for telling us what happened. Beth's not just our boss, she's the heart of our family. I can't lose her too." Abbey sobbed and ran to the kitchen.
Erik crossed his arms tight over his chest. "How did Beth crash into the ditch?"
"The rain mixed with the oil made the road slick. We think she drove too fast through a sharp curve and lost control of the car."
"What haven't you told us?" Erik moved a step closer to him. "Beth is a careful driver and never speeds. I tease her about driving below the speed limit."
Jason sighed. "She was upset."
Eyes narrowed, Erik glared at him. "About what?"
"That's between Beth and me."
"If I find out the accident was your fault…" After a last glare, Erik walked away.
By the time Jason got home, exhaustion had him shuffling his feet as he walked to his bedroom. Too tired to be neat, he dropped his clothes on the floor. He ran the water in the shower until steam filled the room, then stepped in to let the spray soothe his aches and relax his muscles.
After his shower, he returned to the bedroom and found a tray of food Lupita must have left. His stomach soured at the sight. Eager to get back to the hospital, he pulled on a fresh pair of slacks. He tried to button his pants, but his fingers were clumsy and his eyes blurred. Unable to fasten them, he gave in and lay on the bed to rest for a few minutes.
Jason rolled onto his back and stretched. His eyes flew open, and he looked at the clock. Two o'clock. He'd slept for five hours. He took another shower, this time a cold one to wipe away the sleep that dulled his senses.
After dressing, he called the hospital. Beth remained in serious condition, but stable. It wasn't much, but the news kept his hope alive.
While he dressed, he noticed a fresh tray filled with his favorite foods, a Caesar salad, salmon with lemon-dill sauce, and new potatoes. His mouth watered, and he attacked his food as though he hadn't eaten in a week. After he devoured his meal, he took the tray to the kitchen.
Marco and Lupita sat at the table, so he joined them. Lupita got him a cup of coffee while he told them about the accident. They asked if they could help. He thanked them but there was nothing to do now but wait.
After he answered their questions, Jason went to the study to call his father. He told him a friend had been in an accident, and he planned to stay at the hospital until she was out of danger. To his credit, Matt didn't ask questions. After he assured Jason he could handle the operations, Matt said, "Remember you have a family who loves you. If you need us, don't forget to call."
After talking to Matt, Jason sat with his fingers pressed together. Guilt and fear dug their claws into his soul. If she died, how would he live with himself? The answers he'd pressed for didn't seem so important now.
He returned to the hospital lounge, but Deidre didn't notice him until he stood in front of her. She looked up. Her eyes were red and swollen.
He sank into a chair. "What's happened?"
"A few minutes ago, Beth's doctor told me…"
"What?" He grabbed her hands.
"Beth's brain is bruised, and there's swelling." Deidre wiped her face. "They've started her on medication to ease the swelling, but there's no guarantee it will help. Beth might not regain consciousness."
"Damn." He jumped to his feet and dragged a hand through his hair. He turned to Deidre. "I want to bring in a neurosurgeon, someone who specializes in brain injuries."
"I—I'm certain Dr. Walters is doing all he can, but if you think it will help Beth, then do it. Just be sure you're doing it for Beth, not to soothe a guilty conscience."
Was Deidre right? Was he trying to atone for his guilt? He paced around the lounge. When it was time to visit Beth, he swallowed his fear and went to her room.
Beth's skin had a pink tone now, but her only movement was the rise and fall of her chest. Jason talked to her, pleaded, made promises, but got no response. When his ten minutes were up, he went out to the hall and leaned against the wall. He broke into a cold sweat and had to take several deep breaths before he dragged himself back to the waiting room.
Deidre stood and grabbed his arm. "How is she?"
Before he could answer, the sound of approaching footsteps had them turning to the door.
Dr. Walters walked in and said, "I checked on Beth. She hasn't regained consciousness, but there are signs that she's improving. She's breathing easier, and we've seen no evidence of other internal bleeding—"
"When will she wake up?" Deidre clutched the doctor's hand.
"Her body needs time to repair itself. Now that we have her on medication, we hope to see improvement soon." The doctor laid his hand over Deidre's. "It's important to stay positive. I've dealt with patients who said they heard people talking to them while they were in a coma. Beth needs to believe she will get better."
After the doctor left, they sat. Despair hung heavy in the room while the silence scraped Jason's nerves raw. His obsession with the past caused this accident. He'd done this to Beth. How would he live with himself knowing what he'd done?
He jerked when Deidre spoke.
"Several of Beth's employees and customers were here to check on her."
"I'm not surprised. I stopped in at the shop to tell her friends about the accident. Her customers were just as upset."
"Beth is a big part of this town."
"They wanted to close the shop. After I explained she couldn't see visitors, they agreed to take turns visiting."
People stopped in throughout the day. Deidre welcomed each person, introduced Jason, and chatted with the visitors. This side of her personality surprised him. When Deidre welcomed Abbey and Erik with a hug, his jaw dropped. Judging by shock on their faces, they hadn't expected her warm welcome.
"Thank you for coming." Deidre held their hands. "Beth is fortunate to have such good friends. Please sit with us."
In ten minutes, Deidre had Abbey and Erik telling stories of Beth's disasters while she learned to cook. They laughed and talked as though they'd been friends for years. He'd underestimated Beth's mother. Deidre Kingsley loved her daughter.
Once again, in the evening, Deidre went home to rest. When she returned in the morning, he again stopped in at Delectable Delights.
While he drank espresso, he shared the little information he had about Beth. Jason told them he'd asked a neurosurgeon to review her case. He'd agreed with Dr. Walters' diagnosis and treatment plan. The specialist told Jason, in similar cases he'd handled, the outcomes had been positive.
By the time Jason got home, his head pounded. He took two aspirins, a hot shower, and crawled into bed.
When he woke, Jason rolled to his back and did an inventory—headache gone, body rested—time to get back to the hospital. After dressing, he went to find Lupita. He found her in the kitchen.
"I'm leaving and don't know when I'll be back."
She pulled a pan of his favorite chicken enchiladas out of the oven. "You need to eat."
"I'll get something at the hospital."
She said, "Your mother would worry if she knew you weren't eating."
Lupita knew which button to push. He sat, and she dished out the enchiladas. While he ate, Lupita lectured him about taking care of himself. He stuffed food in his mouth to stifle his chuckles.
When he returned to the hospital, Deidre told him about the visitors. Beth's employees and customers stopped in, so had council members, the mayor, several people from the women's shelter where Beth volunteered, and her neighbors.
Deidre smiled. "Beth always made friends, but I never knew she was so well-liked. I've missed so much of her life."
Beth's relationship with her parents had never been warm and caring. He was surprised by this side of Deidre and her regret about her relationship with Beth. "What was Beth like when she was young?"
A sparkle lit Deidre's eyes. "She was a happy child and so curious. For her fourth birthday, we gave her a doll with hair down to her waist. Beth loved Missy and spent hours combing her hair. A week later she ran in to show me how she'd cut Missy's hair. That poor doll looked like a porcupine her hair was so short. Beth was so proud of what she'd done. Then she handed me the doll and told me to make her hair long again."
He grinned. "Was she disappointed that the doll's hair didn't grow back?"
"Devastated. After that, she refused to let us cut her hair."
They laughed. During the hours they waited, worried, and talked, they became friends.
It wasn't until the following morning that Dr. Walters rushed in with a wide grin on his face. "Beth's awake. She's groggy but alert enough to ask for water. We'll keep her in ICU until we're sure she's out of danger. If she continues to improve, we should be able to move her into a private room tomorrow."
Jason could scarcely talk through his smile. "Can we see her?"
"I think she can have a visitor every four hours, but we'll keep the visits to ten minutes. She's better, but her condition is still serious. We want her to rest and remain calm." The doctor looked at Jason when he said, "Don't discuss anything that might upset her."
He shook the doctor's hand. "Thank you." Next to him, Deidre was sniffling. He pulled her into his arms, and she soaked his shirt with her tears.
This time when he walked into Beth's room, he welcomed the clicks and beeps. They were proof she lived. But now, he faced another problem. She'd remember their argument and ban him from her room. Every muscle in his body tightened as he walked to her bed.
She looked so vulnerable with her battered face and the wires hooked to the machines. He shook his head. How had she survived the accident?
Her eyes flickered. "Jason?"
He held her hand. "Beth, I am so sorry. Can you forgive me?"
"Hurt…" She whimpered, and her hand went limp.
"Beth!" He panicked. As he reached for the button to call the nurse, he squeezed her hand, and she whimpered. He wiped a bead of sweat from his forehead.
"Oh, Angel, you've been through so much, but you're safe now. I won't let anyone hurt you." He brushed her cheek. "Not even me."
He returned to the lounge and told Deidre that Beth had been awake for a few seconds.
Deidre smiled and said, "She's coming back to us."
A few hours later, Dr. Walters walked into the lounge. "We have a problem."
"What's wrong?" Jason's hands clenched. Had he upset her?
"Beth said you were in her room earlier?"
Jason nodded. "She said my name and 'hurt.' I didn't think she heard what I said. She was sleeping when I left her."
The doctor rubbed his chin. "Beth said you look different. When I asked her to explain, she said you looked older."
Deidre said, "I don't understand."
"I checked her eyes, but found nothing that would cause problems with her vision." He grimaced. "I asked what she remembered about the accident. Her response was, 'What accident?' She doesn't remember the crash."
Jason's stomach twisted. "Maybe it's too painful for her to recall."
"I considered that possibility, so I asked her to tell me what happened yesterday." Dr. Walters scratched his chin. "She told me about her eighteenth birthday party. When I questioned her, it became clear she doesn't recall anything that happened since that day."
Jason wondered if he looked as stunned as Deidre.
Deidre said, "Could you have missed something."
"We know her head slammed against the window." Jason took a deep breath. "Is it possible she has amnesia?"
"I need more information before I can make any diagnosis."
Jason pointed at the doctor. "You didn't answer my question. Could it be amnesia?"
"It's one possibility." Dr. Walters grimaced. "As you said, her head hit the window and we know her brain swelled. These kinds of injuries can cause a memory loss. If that's the case, when the swelling eases, her memory will return."
He demanded, "When will you know?"
"I've ordered an MRI and other tests to make certain we didn't miss some other injury. I've also asked a colleague who has experience with these types of injuries to perform an evaluation."
The color drained from Deidre's face, and she dropped into a chair.
"Did anything happen around Beth's eighteen birthday?" The doctor asked. "Something she might not want to remember?"
"We celebrated the day after her party. She was excited and happy. I left Serenity Bay the next morning." Jason grimaced. "Two weeks later, I received a Dear John letter. Except for one quick visit, I stayed away until a few weeks ago." He looked at Deidre. "Did something happen after I left?"
She fidgeted in her seat and mumbled, "We traveled in Europe for several months."
Jason watched Deidre and waited for her to say something more. She pressed a hand to her trembling lips. What is she hiding?
Deidre twisted her handkerchief and asked the doctor, "What have you told Beth?"
"I told her I wanted to have some tests done to make certain we didn't miss anything. She wasn't upset, and it's important to keep her that way. There's always a chance we'll find another reason for the problem." Dr. Walters rubbed a hand over his face. "If we determine she has amnesia, I'd like you to be with me when I tell her, Deidre. We can't let her give up hope."
Jason frowned. "What do we say if she asks questions?"
"Even if you answer her questions, it won't bring her memory back. If you tell her about the past she'll get frustrated that she can't remember it."
Deidre sobbed, "My poor Beth."
"After I review the test results and get the second opinion, we'll talk again. I'm sorry." The doctor walked away.
Jason sat and dropped his face into his hands. What else can go wrong?
Deidre murmured, "I'm going to see Beth."
He looked at her. "If she asks, will you tell Beth I'm here?"
With her shoulders slumped in defeat, she nodded and walked away.
Jason looked at his watch. Over twenty minutes since Deidre went to Beth's room. His nerves ragged, he jumped to his feet and paced. Another twenty minutes passed. He scrubbed his hand over his forehead. Something was wrong. He'd decided to check on Beth just as Deidre shuffled into the lounge.
He rushed to her. "What's wrong?"
"Beth woke. She asked about the accident. I told her to rest and not to worry about it." Deidre dug into her pocket and pulled out her crumpled handkerchief. "She cried and wanted to know why I wouldn't answer her questions."
"I didn't know what to say." Deidre dropped into a chair. "I told Beth she might have a temporary memory loss. She asked what she'd forgotten and when I didn't tell her she became hysterical. I called the nurse. She gave Beth a sedative. I stayed until she fell asleep."
"You wanted to help. Don't blame yourself. You did what you thought was best."
"Nothing I did or said helped." Deidre trembled. "Beth sobbed as she fell asleep."
It was hours later before the doctor returned. He walked in without his usual smile. "The tests show no injuries other than those we've already identified. I talked to the neurologist. He assessed Beth and agrees with a diagnosis of Post-Traumatic Amnesia resulting in retrograde amnesia. We believe it's due to the swelling of her brain, and when that subsides, her memory will return."
They questioned the doctor. What could they do to help Beth? How long until her memory return? None of the answers reassured Jason and, from the look on her face, they didn't reassure Deidre either. Dr. Walters left, and they sat lost in their own thoughts.
When it was his turn to go to Beth's room, he struggled but managed a weak smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Like someone beat me with a baseball bat. Dr. Walters and Mother both talked about a crash. I don't remember an accident, and they won't tell me what happened. Will you tell me?"
"The doctor told us not to talk about the things you've forgotten. He's certain that, with rest and time, your memory will return." He brushed his thumb across Beth's lips. "I'm so sorry you were hurt."
"This wasn't your fault."
His shoulders drooped. "Beth—"
"I'm cold." She rubbed her arms.
He grabbed the blanket at the foot of her bed and spread it over her. "Is that better?"
"You take such good care of me." Beth yawned, and her eyes closed. "That's why I love you…."
Beth rubbed her forehead to ease the blinding pain that plagued her whenever she tried to recall the past. She should have memories of the time between her birthday and when she woke in the hospital, but she couldn't remember a single moment or event.
Her mother sat in a chair next to her bed. Beth wondered what she was reading. Since she'd learned she had amnesia, either Jason or her mother was with her. It comforted her to have them near unless they scolded her as she tried to force her memory to return.
Earlier, the doctor had stopped in to check on her. She'd told him, "Why can't Mother and Jason talked about the things I've forgotten. I am certain, it would help me remember."
He'd said, "It doesn't work that way. You can't force your memory to return. When the swelling around your brain eases, it will come back on its own."
"But when will that be? I feel lost."
"I wish I could tell you when it will happen, but we don't know. You need to rest and avoid activities that could aggravate the problem. That includes trying to force your memories to return. It will only frustrate you and give you a headache."
After the doctor left, Beth became more determined to recover her past, but her reward for the effort was another headache. She pressed her temples.
Beth sobbed, "Tell me about the accident."
Deidre said, "Darling—"
"Why won't you answer my questions?" Beth demanded. "Did something awful happen that you don't want me to remember?"
Jason walked into the room. "Deidre, you get a cup of coffee, and I'll sit with Beth."
Her mother's lips were pinched as she rushed from the room.
He stroked her cheek. "Beth, we want to answer your questions, but we have to do what's best for you and follow the doctor's instructions. I'd rather answer your questions than watch you struggle, but it wouldn't help."
"My life has a huge, gaping hole in it. I don't recall the accident, or how I ended up in the hospital. What if my memory never returns?" Her body shook from the force of her sobs. "I want to remember."
"Should I ask the nurse to give you a sedative?"
"No." She squeezed his hand. "I don't like how they make me feel."
"I'll wait a few minutes. If you calm down, we won't call the nurse."
Beth took several deep breaths and laughed when she hiccupped. Jason took such good care of her, even if he didn't answer her questions. She gave him a shaky smile.
He sat next to her and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "Do you remember the first time we went to the lake together? I dived off the bridge, and you wanted to try. You were so excited about jumping until you hit the water and did that spectacular belly-flop."
Beth laughed so hard her stitches pulled and made her cringe. "Oh, don't make me laugh, it hurts."
"When you're better, we'll go to the lake, and you can jump off the bridge again."
She giggled. "I'll try not to do a belly-flop this time."
He drew circles over the back of her hand. A thought tickled at the edge of her mind but a moment later it vanished. She yawned and closed her eyes.
When she woke, her mother sat in the chair. "That was a good nap. Do you feel better?"
"I'm not ready to run a race yet, but I'm getting there."
"The doctor said he'll release you in a few days. I want you to come home with me. You shouldn't be alone while you're recuperating."
"Where else would I go? If I didn't go home, Archer would be furious and tell me not to embarrass the family."