Chapter Nineteen
Dana
I nervously paced the penthouse suite, nibbling on the fingernail of my thumb, not really sure how I felt about all this. Not totally unexpected, since Brady and I had pretty much been going at it like rabbits, but I just hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly. And that was so… odd in itself. He was irresistible. I couldn’t deny his charm, his skill, his selflessness when we made love. He had quickly grown attuned to my body and knew how to give pleasure, and that was the understatement of the year. Despite my earlier feelings about it, I had to admit that I loved making love to Brady.
I knew he’d probably be out late. What Brady was doing, or who he was doing, which might be more appropriate. The thought elicited a surge of jealousy, which also surprised me. I think we needed to talk. Sooner rather than later. Despite my best intentions, despite my determination to just endure this deal for a year, I was failing, and failing miserably. The more time I spent with Brady, the more I liked being with him.
“Just admit it,” I said to the empty room, pausing to stand in front of the plate glass windows that looked out over the city. Gorgeous view. The moon big and round in the sky, the sparkling lights of office buildings, the red and white headlights of cars moving swiftly along the interstate in the distance… everything around me a world away from where I had been just months ago.
As far as I knew, Charlie was staying out of trouble, or at least I hoped so. He called me every week or so to let me know that things were going okay and that he had found a part-time job working as a mechanic at a Jiffy Lube or something like that. Maybe his close call with Slim Pete had finally sunk in.
I felt relieved. Maybe he had turned a corner. He didn’t ask too many questions about Brady, which suited me just fine. He had yet to visit me here at the penthouse, and to be honest, I felt hesitant to invite him here. I still felt uncomfortable surrounded by such opulence. I could only imagine what Charlie would think.
Money is great, don’t get me wrong. It had helped get Charlie out of trouble and insured the continuance of my education, not to mention a nice nest egg that would serve me well in the future. But money didn’t solve every problem. In fact, in some cases, money could cause problems. I didn’t want to cause problems between Charlie and me.
As the hours passed, I grew increasingly tired and sleepy. I lounged on the couch, watching television, some comedy that I didn’t find particularly funny. I turned down the sound and closed by eyes. All the lights were off except for the one next to the couch, but it was on low. The bluish television screen cast the room with a dull glow. Soon, my eyelids grew heavy, and I allowed myself to doze.
I was startled awake by the sound of a key sliding into the lock of the front door. Still half asleep, I lay still while Brady entered the suite, closing the door softly behind him. Would he smell of liquor or women, or both? I wasn’t sure. He set his keys down on the kitchen counter and then moved toward the couch, leaning down over the back of it.
I opened my eyes and saw him hovering above me, silently staring at me. He wore an odd expression. Or was it just the dull lighting in the room? Still, it looked as if he were trying to solve an impossible math question; somewhere between confusion and curiosity. “Something wrong?” I finally asked.
He smiled and shook his head as he rounded the end of the couch and moved to sit down beside me. I bent my legs and slowly sat up, brushing the hair from my face. “I fell asleep.”
“Sorry I’m so late.”
“What time is it?”
“Around two o’clock.”
To my surprise, he didn’t smell of alcohol, perfume, or anything unusual. “Did you have fun?”
He offered a shrug. “Nick’s moving to Los Angeles.”
I knew that Nick and Brady were best friends and had been for years. I wasn’t that sorry to hear the news. Nick had been the one to place the ad on Craigslist. While he wasn’t one of my favorite people in the world, I kept that to myself, knowing that he and Brady had known each other for years.
“It’s funny, really,” Brady said, his voice soft, his tone reflective.
“What is?” I don’t think I’d ever seen Brady in such a quiet mood before. Was he upset that his best friend was moving? When he looked at me I felt my heart skip a beat.
“Everything is changing,” he shrugged. “Seemingly overnight.”
“What do you mean?” He didn’t hesitate an instant, but grasped my hand and looked at me, his gaze serious.
“I think I’m falling in love with you, Dana.”
To say that I was stunned was not even close to adequately describing how those words made me feel. Still, I held back my emotions because I could tell he had more to say.
“You don’t have to respond to that statement. I know we had a deal, and to be quite honest with you, I’m still exploring these… these feelings I have. I’m not even sure what they are, but I do want you to know that I feel… that I’m extremely fond of you.” He offered a short-lived laugh. “I wasn’t expecting this.”
Well. That announcement kind of changed things, didn’t it? But do I want this change? I knew that what I needed to tell him would be a bit of a surprise for him, but maybe not, and it wasn’t anything to be taken lightly. Not only that, but the news would potentially change both our lives forever. I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. We both had some big decisions to make, but looking at Brady’s face at this moment, I knew very well that our so-far-relatively-comfortable-living arrangement might end, here and now.
“You said you had a surprise for me,” he said, a grin lifting his lips.
He glanced down at my T-shirt and gym shorts that I usually wore to bed, then back at my face. I nodded. “That I do.” Now that the moment of reckoning had come, I was tongue-tied, my emotions all over the map. To be completely honest, I was scared, appalled, strangely excited, and shaken to the core.
“I was thinking of gift-wrapping it, but then it seemed kind of… of… considering the arrangement we had. I mean, it’s not like we’re...” I paused. I didn’t know how to say it. Brady put his arm around my shoulder.
“What is it? Is it about your brother? School?”
“No,” I sighed. Finally, I reached for my purse. It sat on the floor at the base of the end table beside the couch. I fumbled around in it for a moment and then extracted the white, oblong object no bigger than an ordinary tongue dispenser, narrow at one hand, wider on the other. I watched his face as I handed it to him. He knew immediately.
“I’m pregnant, Brady.”
“You are?” He glanced down at the stick, saw the positive result, and then looked back up at me. Other than surprise, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Did I want to know? What would happen to me… to us, now? Tears flooded my eyes. I tried to blink them back but was unsuccessful. I didn’t know where it came from, but a silent sob caused my shoulders to heave. The next instant he pulled me into his embrace.
“It’s going to be all right, Dana. Really.”
I wept for several moments, my emotions warring between amazement and horror, all of them founded on fear of the unknown. He held me close, one hand gently patting my back, trying to calm me. The same gesture a mother used to soothe a baby… I swallowed and gathered myself. I pulled back, wiping my eyes as I looked up into his face, calmly watching me while I studied his. He looked pleased, his smile wide, body relaxed, no hint of fear or… and why shouldn’t he be calm? This was what he wanted all along, wasn’t it? But the reality of it all left an entirely different impression on me.
I was going to have a baby.
My baby. Brady’s baby. And according to the deal, I was supposed to deliver that baby and then walk away.
“I don’t think I can do it, Brady.”
“Do what?”
I swallowed thickly. “Grow a baby inside me, deliver it, and then walk away.”
He continued to smile at me, leaning back—at ease, in control. He brushed the hair from my face, his thumb tracing the outline of my jaw as he gazed at me with a look of… I had never seen that look before. He spoke softly.
“I may have entered this deal, this arrangement of ours, with a certain endgame in mind, I admit that. But I need you to know, Dana, that over the past few months, I learned something.”
He paused, his thumb wiping a stray tear from my cheek.
“Dana, I love you. I want you to know that, right now. To hell with this agreement. I understand if you can’t or won’t reciprocate my feelings, but I want you to know that I won’t turn my back on you. This is your baby… our baby, and I will support you, no matter what you decide.”
Speechless. I felt speechless. The entire purpose for this… for this arrangement, was to produce a grandchild for his father. When had that suddenly changed? I think he saw my confusion because he smiled again and pulled me close, his chin resting against the top of my head as I leaned against his chest. I listened to the steady thudding of his heart.
“I love you, Dana. Agreement or not, I love you.”
The rumble of his voice issuing from his chest was so comforting, so warm, but in spite of my growing feelings and affection for Brady, I was afraid to say anything, afraid to admit it. But I knew, deep down inside, that I was torn. More than a little confused.
That blue line on the pregnancy stick had changed everything.