It hurt.

It hurt almost too much to bear. She had to sit there, listen to Kol-Eresh speak of Luminos and Nayanors. It was all necessary information to her and she should have paid more attention, but it was hard. All she could focus on was the diadon in the harbinger's chest and what it did to him.

The Union had figured out the Nayanors had long lifespans a while ago, but Jackie had always taken it with a healthy dosage of skepticism. It was hard to imagine someone could live forever, yet there they were.

The man who could live forever and the woman who wouldn't see the end of the year.

She had no doubt in her heart that Kol-Eresh would have gladly given his years to her if she'd asked, but there had been nothing in his words that could have been up for interpretation. They didn't fit the diadons to humans.

She drifted through the day in a daze. The bitter pain of her mortality stayed even when Kol-Eresh finally rose from the floor and walked over to her. He held out a hand for her and Jackie took it, pulled up with ease. That left her face to face with her fated, the most gorgeous man in the galaxy.

"Come with me," the harbinger said, pulling her along and leading her into the bedroom.

As soon as she saw that, Jackie snapped back to reality. She eyed the huge bed, wondering if there was anything about their living arrangements that was up for debate.

"Don't make me do this," she said at last, unable to come up with a better argument.

Kol-Eresh didn't stop undressing and she had a hard time looking away. The body revealed to her piece by piece was obviously a final punishment of the gods that hated her enough already.

The mouth-watering muscles bulged whenever Kol-Eresh moved, his rock-hard abs looked like they were solid as rock. The deep, dark eyes that never left her didn't help either. Jackie couldn't remember ever being that turned on in her life.

"Strip," the harbinger said, removing his pants, standing in front of her in nothing more than a pair of black boxers.

Jackie had an urgent desire to check her eyesight, because the bulge in the harbinger's boxers had to be some sort of an optical illusion. She was aware that she was staring, but under the circumstances she thought that was fair. Kol-Eresh's cock had to be huge, bigger than any she'd ever seen.

If he fucked me, he'd split me in half.

She didn't move.

"Strip," the harbinger repeated. "I told you that you'd be sleeping in my bed."

Was that a lifeline for her? Jackie had no idea, but it was obvious that there was no arguing with a Nayanor warlord. Slowly, carefully, she began undressing, aware that Kol-Eresh was watching her every move like a hawk. When he came closer, Jackie backed away, but the harbinger caught her.

The hoodie fell to the floor, followed by her shirt. The harbinger knelt on the ground, pulling her pants down, pressing hard kisses on her naked thighs. The goosebumps on her skin and the shudder that shot through her had nothing to do with the temperature in the room.

Left standing there in her underwear, Jackie gasped when Kol-Eresh stood, running his hands up her sides appreciatively. The desire in his eyes was powerful and potent, but all he did was pull her along toward the bed with a smirk on his lips.

Her legs touched the side of the bed and she climbed on, slipping under the covers before the harbinger could get a better look at her.

"You may try to hide, but I will make every inch of you belong to me," Kol-Eresh said, following her, climbing next to her and bringing Jackie into his strong embrace.

The harbinger traced a patternless path on her skin under the covers, holding her tightly against him. It felt nice and safe and warm in a way that ascended the physical level. Jackie didn't struggle away. All her effort went into trying not to burst into tears – and she didn't even know whether they would have been joyous or sad.

It was all over for her. That hadn't changed. No matter what, Jackie was still ticking like a timebomb, but at least she wasn't alone. A Nayanor warlord hadn't been anywhere near the top of the list of people she would have wanted to spend the last days of her life with, but it was someone.

The dark, cold touch of death that kept creeping closer was less scary with a body next to her, even if it was the man who'd just kidnapped her.

And nothing could have made Jackie pull back when the harbinger leaned down to capture her lips with his own.

"Sleep," Kol-Eresh ordered when he pulled back.

Yet dreams didn't come to Jackie that easily. She lay awake for almost an hour after the harbinger had fallen asleep, looking at the gently glowing diadon in his chest.

* * *

The dark, late hours of the artificial night on the ship brought waking nightmares to Jackie.

That had happened to her a lot on Terra. Isolated, sad people avoided loneliness like the plague and lying there next to her fated, Jackie grew increasingly lonely.

Lies, she told herself. I'm trying to live lies.

No matter what angle she looked at her life from, there was nothing but lies there. The frail cords that were keeping her dignity together, that kept the smile on her lips when she wanted to fall to pieces were slipping. She was coming apart at the seams and telling herself that it was okay to share her misery with another living being didn't look as good anymore.

The ship began rocking around them and Jackie winced, looking at the darkness. She thought she saw the wall of the bedroom bend inwards, which was impossible by every known law of physics she was aware of.

If that was how she was going to spend the rest of her life, Jackie didn't want it.

Home, she thought. I want home.

She slipped out of the bed after making sure that the harbinger was truly sleeping. The wild, creaking rocking muffled her careful footsteps across the floor. Jackie had no idea how Kol-Eresh could sleep through that, but the harbinger was probably used to that. He'd warned her about the wormhole travel before, but Jackie had had no idea she'd have the door itself trying to bar her way.

Biting her lip, she forced herself to be brave. If she pulled it off, she could go back to Terra. The Ellora Resort was gone, but there were others.

I will go and – and – and...

The answer she was looking for was "Pretend that it's better, pretend that it's all okay", but it was too painful to utter, even in her mind alone.

Searching by hand, Jackie somehow located the living room again. When her bare feet touched the amazing carpet on the floor, she nearly smiled. It felt nice in a way nothing else on that damn ship did. She wondered if she could take one of the carpets with her.

Kol-Eresh's armor and weapons were where he'd left them. Jackie crouched down. She was sure she'd seen a dagger somewhere. The harbinger had used it to cut some – admittedly rather delicious – meat for her.

There!

Jackie almost cut herself when her fingers touched the razor-sharp blade. She had to bite her tongue not to cry out, even if she was sure that Kol-Eresh couldn't hear her over the sound of the ship apparently breaking apart.

It said plenty about her that she considered that a trivial concern. Nayanors had used wormhole travel for a long time, she trusted the ship much more than its commander.

Sneaking back was the scariest thing she'd ever done in her life.

If Kol-Eresh was to wake up before she got in position, see the dagger in her hands... Jackie didn't even want to think about that. She thought of the clerks who'd brought them food before. Would she become one of them? Locked up whenever her fated couldn't keep an eye on her.

That would have been unbearable.

She kept going, telling herself that she had to try at the very least. Her strength wasn't gone yet and neither was her will to live. If she could just get back to the Rockies, maybe the Terran army could pull their heads out of their asses and keep her safe for the few weeks she had left...

At the back of her mind, Jackie knew how crazy that was. No one had ever escaped from the Nayanors before.

Someone's got to be the first, though.

The bedroom was lighter than the rest of the quarters. There was a light source in the walls that kept a dim shine on the ceiling. It wasn't too bright for sleeping. In fact, it was just bright enough so that Jackie could see the bed.

She gripped the dagger more tightly in her hands.

The sharpness of it was intimidating. Jackie didn't want to kill her apparent fated. The man had saved her life, even if he was the reason why she'd been in danger in the first place. Besides, she was pretty certain that if she killed the commander of the ship, she'd be dead herself.

All she needed was a trip home.

There was no future for her on Luminos. No future for her anywhere, but it certainly didn't help to have the harbinger tell her of their bond which Jackie knew could never happen.

She was out of chances for love, as unlikely as that was.

Kol-Eresh was still sleeping when she finally reached the bed. Her heart beat so loudly that Jackie thought she could actually hear it. She climbed on the bed from her side, kneeling above the harbinger. The dagger felt twice as heavy in her hand as it had been before.

Jackie needed two hands to hold it despite the fact that Kol-Eresh had used it like a knife. It said all she needed to know about the odds she was facing.

As gently and carefully as she could, she straddled the warlord, keeping the dagger firmly in her hands, lowering it to inches from the man's neck.

I can do this. I just need to be firm. I mustn't be afraid to strike. He has probably gotten worse wounds. I have to show him that I mean it.

Jackie opened her mouth to wake the harbinger, but before she could utter a single syllable, a strong, powerful voice nearly made her jump.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

Kol-Eresh's dark eyes flashed open, bright and curious in the dim light. There was no fear in them despite the blade at his throat. Jackie wondered just how badly she'd messed up.

She expected the harbinger to tackle her, but he didn't move a muscle. Instead, his dark eyes followed her without blinking as Jackie sat, the dagger shaking in her hand. Her mind was thrown into complete disarray. That wasn't how she'd planned it. Nothing had gone wrong yet, but Jackie couldn't shake the feeling that she had never had the control over the situation she'd imagined.

"No," she replied at last, pushing all other thoughts away but the one that told her to go for it, come what may. "I don't want to kill you if you don't force my hand."

Kol-Eresh's lips curled into a smirk. Jackie frowned.

"I'm not joking," she said, pushing the dagger forward just a little.

Now the tip of the blade touched the harbinger's neck, grazing the skin there. She saw a trail of red blood run down his flesh. The dagger was insanely sharp and Kol-Eresh still wasn't moving other than to grin at her like she was the amusement for the night.

"I want you to take me back home," Jackie went on. "Now. I want you to turn this ship around and take me back to Terra. You can even drop me out of the ship with a pod when you near the planet if you want to, but you have to leave me there and not come looking for me."

Kol-Eresh regarded her with those amazingly gorgeous eyes of his.

"No," the harbinger said then and the finality of his voice made Jackie's heart drop. "A Nayanor never gives up on his fated, not even if he had to face the entire galaxy for her. I am no different. Your place is by my side now."

Jackie knew he was telling her the truth, at least his truth. Nayanors weren't easily manipulated, but the argument stayed – there had to be a first.

Of course, it was hard to believe that first would be a harbinger, but...

Jackie moved the dagger, forcing Kol-Eresh to lean his head back a little, the tip of the blade pressing on his chin.

It was not the answer Jackie wanted to give, but the question slipped over her lips anyway.

"How can you not be afraid?" she demanded.

The harbinger chuckled, still unmoving. He almost looked at leisure. Jackie wouldn't have put it past him to fold his hands behind his head as he observed her attempt to win herself her freedom.

"Fear is a curious emotion," the warlord said, his dark eyes never leaving her face. "No one is immune to it. All that defies a man is how they deal with it. In this much, I like the Brions, the guardians of your little Union. The smartest of them know that any man who claims not to fear is a fool. I've seen my fair share of those. You can imagine how dead they all are by now."

"Then you are afraid," Jackie stated.

Kol-Eresh looked at her, the smile on his face faltering as he regarded her with a seriousness she had not seen on him before.

"Nothing you could do to me with those pretty, soft hands of yours could compare to being without you," he said simply.

The words cut deeply.

Jackie had had men spurt pick-up lines and romantic nonsense at her many times in her life. It was almost as if men of all species were the same in their absolute distrust of speaking from the heart.

Once a guy had tried a cheesy line on her – something utterly cliché about falling from heaven – and Jackie had shot him down. They ended up having drinks anyway after he admitted to Jackie that he'd expected the line to fail, but hadn't found a better one on "the site".

It had turned out there were sites where men rated the success of their pick-up lines so that others could benefit from their experience.

Accompanied by a few beers for the guy and Mojitos for Jackie, she'd tried her best to explain how nothing ever beat out the simple: "Hey, can I buy you a drink?"

So she'd heard her fair share of words that men put their hopes and dreams on without realizing how they had doomed themselves to fail from the start.

There was nothing like that about Kol-Eresh. The harbinger spoke like he'd never told a lie in his life and Jackie couldn't imagine why he would have. People who lied did it to gain something, but Nayanors were rather straightforward about those things.

It all came down to a single new truth for her and that was that Kol-Eresh truly meant that, as absurd as it sounded.

"Don't make me hurt you," Jackie said, but her voice was wavering from the shock.

It hit hard to realize that there was someone who valued her so much they were willing to risk their lives for her. Again.

Kol-Eresh nodded as if he was accepting his fate.

"Do your worst," he said. "Just know that there is no ship in the galaxy that could take you back to Terra. You are mine and I will never let go of you."

Jackie's temper flared back to the surface. She raised the dagger above her head, judging her basic knowledge of anatomy. Nayanors healed like devils, everyone knew that, even in the Union. The brief encounters they'd had had proved that plenty. She believed the warlord when he said that she couldn't hurt him with the strength of her arms.

All she had to do was hurt him, but even that went against everything Jackie had ever believed in. It wasn't in her nature to risk seriously wounding someone to get her way, but there was no other way to deal with a Nayanor. Strength was the only thing they recognized. No argument would sway her fated, Jackie was certain of that.

"I'm not joking," she told the harbinger.

"Neither am I," Kol-Eresh replied.

Jackie struck. She had been aiming for the harbinger's shoulder, something assuredly nondeadly but still painful. All her anger, her frustration at every bad turn her life had taken was channeled into the blow.

And she was still disarmed like she was a child.

Kol-Eresh caught her before she could barely move a muscle, grabbing her hands and twisting them around on the bed. Jackie found herself pinned to the sheets, the dagger still in her grip with the harbinger on top of her.

"I wonder," Kol-Eresh said, clearly more amused than hurt, "what were you planning on doing after that?"