I squirt a small mound of ketchup into my plate, and dip one French fry in before biting on it. I chew quietly as I watch Hector studying my face in silence.

“What are you thinking?” I ask.

“That you look different.” He takes a swig of his beer and leans back in his seat as though to get a better look at me.

“I do feel different,” I say honestly.

It’s been three weeks since I saw Derrick and sometimes I lie in bed at night, wondering if I made the right decision to walk away from a future with him. Sometimes, in a secret corner of my mind, I fantasize about him showing up at my door again. But if he does, my answer would not change. I don’t want him to feel he has to take care of me. I’ve gone through more than many people are able to withstand and I emerged feeling stronger than ever before. My only desire now is to live a life where nobody judges me, to build a life I’m proud of.

There were times I considered leaving Boston to start somewhere else, but I decided to stay here because this is where my baby was born. Sometimes I feel Eric’s presence around me. I talk to him and it no longer hurts. I may be crazy, but I feel as though he’s somewhere watching over me. Thinking of him now brings me peace instead of pain.

“You never said what happened with you, why you left without warning. Did you come into some money or something?”

“Sort of. An old friend decided to help me out.” My thoughts drift to Derrick, and the place that used to hurt every time I thought of him feels numb. There’s also an emptiness there and I know it will remain with me for the rest of my life. No one else would be able to fill it.

I pick up a napkin and swipe it across my lips. “Hector, I asked you to lunch because I want to apologize. It was unfair of me to walk away the way I did . . . from one day to the next. You were so kind to me. I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Look, I’m over it. I guess I always knew you’re not the kind of girl who would stay in the business. You’re destined for bigger and better things. If you found what you’ve been searching for, all I can do is wish you well. You deserve to be happy.”

“You have no idea how much that means to me.” I place both my hands on my flushed cheeks.

“And it means a lot that you reached out to me. You have a good heart, Brooke Rayner.”

I give him a watery smile and return my attention to my food, watching as other guests enter and exit the diner, listening to the laughter and conversations around us, the soundtrack of life. For the first time in years, I feel alive. Breathing is easy again.

“So, what are you doing with your life these days?” he asks.

“Quite a lot of exciting things, actually.” I bite down on a smile. “I’m taking GED test preparation courses at Silvercrest Community College. I plan to go to college after, to study psychology.” I sip my lemonade. “I’m also working at Clive’s Bookstore part-time.” Derrick had given me a bit more money than I needed to pay off my debts and he insisted I keep it. I immediately put it into my savings account to go toward my studies. What I earn from the bookstore goes toward my monthly expenses.

“I’m really proud of you. You’re a great example that it’s never too late to start again. With your drive, determination, and heart, you’ll make an awesome shrink one day.” Hector runs a hand over the sheen of sweat on his brow and grins. “To be honest, I kind of felt guilty about letting you work as—”

“Why? You didn’t need to feel guilty. I chose the job. I needed the money.” On the LaClaire jet, I had not told Derrick that the moment I knew I’d hit rock bottom was when I found myself sitting by the side of the road, my hands around a bottle of vodka, even though I’d never tasted alcohol before. It was clear, at that moment, that I could either choose to drown in the booze or swim back up. I chose to swim.

I pulled myself together, got myself a waitressing job at Tony’s Diner, where Tony allowed me to also rent the closet-sized studio apartment above the diner. When I wasn’t waitressing for Tony, I worked at the coffee shop where I’d met Allison. Both jobs drained me and the money I made was never enough to live on.

Before I knew it, I was swimming in the kind of debt that keeps one up at night. My desperation brought back the depression that led me to lose both jobs and the apartment. One day, a year ago, I walked past The Mirage and it became clear what I had to do.

“I’m glad you’re no longer doing it though.”

“Me, too.” I throw my head back and laugh. “Thank you for giving me a chance when I needed it.” Now I have the opportunity to turn my life around, to make other choices that will build me up instead of leaving me feeling ashamed and disgusted with my body.

“Whatever happened to that guy who showed up from your past?” Hector lifts his burger to his lips and takes another bite. A small trail of ketchup catches on his beard.

“Actually, he’s the friend who helped me out with my financial situation.”

“I see.” He finishes to chew. “No wonder you look so different. You’re in love.”

I peel my gaze from his. I want to tell him he’s wrong. But I decide to be honest with him and with myself. “The truth is, I do feel something strong for him and we have a bond. But at this point in my life, I’m not ready for a relationship. There are too many things between us that would stand in the way.”

“Well, that’s a shame. How does he feel about you?”

“It’s not important how he feels about me.” I pull my plate closer, continue eating. “I need to focus on getting my life back on track before I can even consider any kind of relationship.”

“I guess that’s a wise decision.” He squeezes my hand. “Brooke, I wish you a lifetime of happiness.”

“Thank you.” My phone beeps on the table. Without picking it up, I glance at the message lighting up the screen. As my mind registers each word, the French fry between my fingers falls into the ketchup on my plate.

I’ve been arrested. I need to see you.

My heart is in my throat as I pick up the phone to read the rest of the message.

“Brooke, are you okay?” Hector’s fingers feel cool on my hand. “You look pale.”

I look up but don’t see him. “Hector, sorry. I have to go.” I rise from the chair.