Seventeen
Me: Zoe’s mad at you.
Zach: What did I do that I didn’t know I did?
Me: You apparently ate her cupcake.
Me: And that sounded WAY worse than I intended.
Me: Maybe I should be mad now if you’re eating my friend’s cupcake.
Zach: I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another cupcake again without thinking of your sweet, sweet…
Me: DON’T SAY IT!
Zach: Say what? I was going to say smile.
Me: You were going to say pussy because you’re a disgusting man and want to ruin cupcakes for me forever.
Zach: I was totally going to say pussy, but it’s still true.
Zach: Hey, Delia?
Me: Yeah…
Zach: Pussy.
Me: I’ll show you pussy…
Zach: Finally! We’re sexting!
Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Zach: That is the last thing I had in mind.
Zach: Also, that kitten is adorable.
Me: Right? Do you think Marshy would mesh well with a cat?
Zach: I am not buying a cat, Delia.
Me: We’ll see.
Zach: It’s not happening. Get it out of your head RIGHT NOW.
Me: Like I said, Zach, WE’LL SEE. WINK.
Zach: Don’t you wink at me.
Zach: Delia…
Zach: DELIA!
Zach: Goddammit. I’m getting a cat, aren’t I?
Me: WINK.
Zach: How’d your tests go?
Zach: Also, I just realized we still text versus talking on the phone. Is that weird?
Me: I think it’s a good thing to keep the roots of our relationship strong. Besides, I can say weird shit to you via text that I don’t feel comfortable saying otherwise.
Me: Like one time I believed goose and geese were two different animals. Spoiler alert: they’re not.
Zach: How did you make it to college? As a senior?
Me: The world will never know.
Me: My test was okay. I think I did well on the econ one. We’ll see after break.
Zach: Speaking of break…are you getting nervous? Meeting the parents and all that.
Me: Um…YES. Thanks for the reminder, jerk.
Me: I’ve been diligent in keeping up with shaving my legs—just for your dad. ;-)
Zach: No. NO. There will be NO sexy jokes involving my dad, Delia. NONE.
Me: I’m just saying, if Mr. Hastings is half as hot as you…DAAAAAAMN. I’d hit that.
Zach: I’m taking my offer back. You’re uninvited to Thanksgiving.
Me: And you’re out of my bed for at least three weeks.
Zach: *pouts* Fine. You can come, BUT STOP CREEPING ON MY DAD.
Me: We’ll see how he feels about that.
Me: P.S. I only have eyes for you.
Zach: I can’t even respond with something clever. My ego, it’s wounded.
Me: Is that even possible?
Zach: And she strikes again!
Me: Great, now I’ll have to spend the entire trip reassuring you of your complete and total sexiness.
Zach: Only if you feel like that would help…
Me: He says innocently. *rolls eyes* I’m onto you.
Zach: I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.
Zach: I’ll be there in about thirty. Had to stop and adjust Marshmallow real quick. He’s so high maintenance.
Me: I’ll get dressed now then.
Zach: So…you’re naked?
Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Zach: Wow. Yes. You are definitely naked. *saves to spank bank*
Me: You had better delete that.
Me: Also, you’re welcome.
Zach: I promise I will.
Zach: Also, curiosity and all that, will you maybe still be naked when I get there?
Me: Depends on how fast you drive.
Zach: Challenge accepted.