TWENTY-EIGHT
The drive back to the house was pleasant enough. The pizza they picked up smelled good, but by the time they pulled into the underground garage Chris didn’t want it. He didn’t wait for anyone to help him out of the car. He was tired of being treated like a special needs person. He wasn’t fragile. He wasn’t going to break if he had to open the door for himself or walk out of a courtroom or…
Who the fuck was he kidding? He had no idea which door in the garage would let him into the house. And the house was unfamiliar and smelled funny and he hated being there. He hated all of the windows and the street noise and he hated that Micah was treating him like…like he was his bodyguard and not his…what the hell were they anyway? He’d proposed, hadn’t he? Did that make him Micah’s fiancé? Or had Micah forgotten that? They hadn’t discussed it in the two weeks since. They hadn’t discussed much of anything beyond Micah’s wounds and then the court summons.
Clothes and fittings for suits and shoes and meetings with lawyers and doctors and getting moved into a new house. One he didn’t want to be in. He didn’t want to have all of those people looking at him. Or his face all over the news. He didn’t want to see his parents smiling back at him from the internet. He couldn’t even go online for fear of reading something about them or himself…and now they knew about him and Beastly…and…and…
He closed the door to the bathroom and leaned over the sink. The man in the mirror looking back at him was unfamiliar. The tie choked him. Chris clawed at the heavy coat struggling to get his arms out. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. Suffocating. He was suffocating.
“It’s okay.” The hands on his arms weren’t his. They were different. Tanned. These fingers didn’t hurt like his own fingers did sometimes. “Chris. It’s okay. Hold your arm out. It’s okay.” His voice was calm. Too calm. But Chris did as he was told. He held one arm out and the bulky sleeve slipped down his arm. The other one went next. “Okay how about the suit jacket. Want it off too?”
Chris nodded to the mirror. “And the tie. I can’t breathe.”
“I hear that. I haven’t worn a tie in more than a month. I’d forgotten how much I hate the damned things.” Micah reached around him and unbuttoned the suit jacket. Chris let him drag the thing off and toss it over near the door. “Better? Getting there?”
“Yeah,” Chris whispered, his voice raspy with fear that he could hear. “I’m sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry about, we’re good here.” Micah leaned over his shoulder. His chin fit nicely there. He wrapped his arms around Chris and held on to him.
“I panicked.” Chris couldn’t look at his image in the mirror, he focused on Micah’s face and hands and how he almost completely engulfed him. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t blame you. It’s been a rough day.” Micah tugged at the knot in Chris’s tie and loosened it. “You do the buttons.”
Chris noticed that his hands shook as he fumbled with the button at his neck. “I hate buttons. That’s why I never wear shirts with buttons. Tiny little things and my fingers are too big and clumsy.”
“You are the most nimble fingered man I’ve ever met.” Micah had the tie loose. He pulled it from the collar, the silk making a swishing sound as it swished through the material. “Is it wrong that I want your fingers on me right now?”
Startled, Chris let his gaze meet Micah’s. The look in Beastly’s eyes damn near floored him. Chris couldn’t deal with the button and swallow at the same time. So he yanked and the first three buttons popped free. They didn’t fly across the room but the sound of ripping broad cloth was mildly satisfying. “Is it wrong that I want to put my fingers on you? But I’m afraid I’ll hurt you.”
“I’m healing. Don’t bite on the new scars or anything and we should be fine.” Micah finished off the buttons, not by pulling them free, but in the usual way, which meant his hands were on Chris and Chris liked that. Tremendously. He dragged the shirt tails out of his pants and slipped his hands under the undershirt he wore. Chris almost melted when Micah’s rough fingers skimmed his belly. “Oh, you like that. You’re so beautiful when you’re turned on.”
“I’m a freak. God, don’t stop touching me.” Chris wrapped an arm behind Micah’s head. He wanted to drag him over his shoulder and hide inside him. “Just don’t stop touching me.”
“You’re not a freak.” Micah stopped touching him to take Chris’s arm from behind his head. He removed the cufflink and let it settle back. “Give me your other hand.” Chris did and the silver links tumbled like dice onto the vanity top. His sleeves fell open and Micah pulled his shirt off his arms to toss it in the corner with the rest of the hated clothes. “You can toss those in the fireplace later,” he said then winced. “I’m sorry.”
Chris wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for. “Fire? Oh…no, fire doesn’t bother me. Okay, it does but it’s…not a trigger or something. God, I hate that you have to worry about what to say around me as if I’m some…I’m not going to go off at the mention of fire or snow or anything that happened during that time. I don’t know what sets me off. Little things. Lots of things. Stress. Worry. Fear. I hate being like this.”
Beastly held him. He didn’t pass judgment or criticize. He held him. Chris felt calm wash over him. “The day wasn’t completely horrible. I left the house. I didn’t melt or turn to ash. It was a good day.”
“It was a good day. This is a pretty city. I bet it’s prettier in the summer when the trees are green and there are flowers. It’s nice. Not too big. I enjoyed being with you. I’ve been cooped up too long with people poking at me. Asking me how I feel and if I’m in pain. Gets annoying after a couple of hours. They need to leave me alone and I’ll be fine. The fresh air was nice.” Micah stroked Chris’s belly through his undershirt. He wasn’t being sexual. He was comforting.
“Do you hurt? Should I leave you alone? You were shot. It takes time to heal.” Chris worried that maybe he shouldn’t demand more than Micah could give just yet. He knew the wounds had closed. He could see when Beastly was tired. And he was tired more than he’d been the first two weeks he was here.
“No. I don’t hurt. I don’t want you to leave me alone. Not the first time I’ve been shot. I’ll heal, here or somewhere else. I might not be up to kicking your ass any time soon but when I am I demand a rematch. Maybe lessons.” Micah pulled at the hem of the thin white shirt dragging it slowly up Chris’s stomach. His fingers were hot and rough and Chris wanted to have those hands all over him. “You are beautiful, Chris. You’re not a freak. I hate that you won’t even look at yourself. Look at yourself in the mirror, baby. I want you to see you through my eyes.”
Chris closed his eyes. The moment had passed. He needed to get away. “Look, Chris. Open your eyes and look.” Micah’s voice changed, going from calm and soothing to demanding. He ordered Chris to do his bidding as if Chris were some little kid who…opened his goddamned eyes and looked at the two men in the mirror. The taller one with anger blazing in his eyes stared back at him with hair so white, skin so fair, and brilliant sapphire eyes in a sculpted face. The man wrapped around him, a golden beast of a man, less sculpted, more aggressively beautiful than artfully beautiful. He’d seen too much and done too much and wore his scars for the world to see. While the sculpture hid imperfections.
The white T-shirt Micah pulled up was still several shades paler than his own skin. Chis lifted his arms and let the hidden imperfections show. His scars. The ones he’d given himself streaked his arms and his torso. The scar he hadn’t caused stood out pink and puckered and unfeeling under Micah’s touch. Micah kissed his neck but never dragged his gaze away from Chris’s. The mirror didn’t lie. He lied to the mirror.
“Don’t look away.” Micah scraped his fingers over Chris’s scar making him shiver. He placed small hot kisses along his shoulder. “I want you to watch what I do to you. I want you to see what I see. I want you to see you. The real you.” Micah trailed his fingers to Chris’s nipples. The rose colored disks drew up into hard pebbles at his touch. He smiled over Chris’s shoulder, his breath hot and ragged on Chris’s skin.
“Micah?” Chris’s voice rasped out his name. He hadn’t known he was going to speak. The surprise wasn’t…surprising. He grasped a handful of Micah’s hair and pulled.
“Feel good?” Micah pinched him then, rolling his nipples between blunt tipped fingers until Chris wanted to scream. Color raced across his face and down his neck to his chest. The rosy blush of arousal. “Pull my hair again. I didn’t know that was a turn on until you did it.”
Chris pulled his hair and pushed Micah’s head into his neck at the same time. The moan he yanked from his Beastly made him flush all over. “I need you.” He told the man in the mirror. The one tormenting him. The one who smiled at him and stroked his hands down his stomach. “Don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning to stop. Don’t let go.” Micah raked his hand over the front of Chris’s pants and Chris repaid his moan in kind. He was so hard beneath the layers of fabric. His dick ached for Micah’s touch. He felt trapped in clothes.
“Please take them off.” Chris reached down to help with his belt but Micah took his hand and placed it behind his neck. Chris whimpered at the shake of his head. His gaze never left Chris’s, and Chris could see the intense pleasure Micah was enjoying at his expense. “Please, Beastly.”
“I like when you call me Beastly.” Micah flicked his belt open and slowly dragged it from around Chris’s waist. “I like when you look at me like you’re looking at me. Makes my blood boil.”
“Yeah, well, you’re looking at me like I’m dinner and you’re a starving man.” Chris let the thrill of that thought race through him. He liked having Micah crazy for him like this. He didn’t even care that he wasn’t in control. Micah opened his pants and slipped his hand inside the tight band of the too small briefs. Chris’s knees threatened to give out the moment Micah palmed his dick, stroking him. Chris pulled his hair with both hands and arched his groin into Micah’s hand. “There’s lube and condoms in the top drawer. Just don’t fucking stop touching me.”
A flash of something went through Micah’s eyes. A jolt of unease that Chris felt like a stab to his heart.
“What?” he asked softly. He was afraid he’d hurt him. Or scared him.
Micah breathed hard against his neck. “Nothing. Not important.” But it was something and Micah was lying.
“You don’t want to…with me?” Chris felt the rejection until he remembered the day the world had ended. “You’d rather…I don’t know how to say this. Don’t lie to me. Just tell me what’s wrong.”
Micah dropped his head on Chris’s shoulder, breaking eye contact for the first time. He breathed out hard. “I want to fuck you…yeah, no other way to put it. I guess. I do so very much. I want you to make sure that’s what you want. And…”
He stopped talking and seemed as lost as Chris was. “And what? Tell me. No secrets between us. Please. Micah. I don’t want anything between us. I…maybe I’m being idealistic…maybe I’m naïve. I want to be with you. I want you to be with me. I want it to be equal, and open, and no lies or deception and—”
Micah looked at him again, his brown eyes gone liquid. He seemed almost upset. “That’s what I want. No lies. I want you to trust me. I want you to know you have nothing to worry about with me. That you can tell me anything and be safe. And…I want to be with you Chris. Without…”
Chris stared at him for a moment. “Condoms.”
“Stupid, I know. I want to protect you and…I’ve never been with anyone without one. Except with you that morning. I don’t want to… man, I sound stupid. And a mood killer. And…Chris, I want to fuck you and I want to feel you instead of a condom. You’re a…virgin and I’m…not.”
Chris twisted in his arms, nearly stumbling when his pants fell lower over his knees. He grasped Beastly’s face in his hands and brushed his thumbs over the man’s cheeks and lips. He pressed his forehead to Micah’s and waited for his heart to stop hammering in his chest. “They had no O negative blood on hand at the hospital. You needed a transfusion. You were going to die without one.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m O neg. Sucks too. Seriously sucks. I try not to lose too much blood because of it. Soo, your point is?” Micah switched his hands to Chris’s back.
“My blood is boiling in your veins. They tested me. They tested you. Nobody came up with any blood borne reasons why I couldn’t donate to you. And you’re worried about infecting me with something neither of us has. I think that’s sweet.”
“And I think you’re a fucking cock tease, Christopher Auberon.” Micah reached around him and pulled out the drawer. He fished inside for something and shoved a large tube of lube into Chris’s hands. “And you made me forget that you’re supposed to be watching what I do to you.” Micah grabbed his ass and pulled him hard against his body. “I’m not going to fuck you, Chris.”
He picked Chris up and whirled him around until Chris was once again facing the damned mirror. “I’m going to make love to you. I’m going to touch every part of your body and I’m going to make you ache with wanting me. And then I’m going to take you into the bedroom and I’m going to lay you down on the bed and I’m going to cover your body with mine. And I’m going to slide inside you and make love to you and you’re going to kiss me and call me God or Jesus or whatever name you want to call me when I make you come. But right now, Chris, you’re going to watch yourself in the mirror.”
The cold wall pressed into Chris’s back as Micah pushed him flat against it. His mouth tilted up in an evil grin that Chris wanted to suck off his face. He wanted to take the tie and shirt off him and lick skin. Chris groaned as Micah pressed their bodies together. He was so hard under his pants. He smelled so good. Like cologne and aftershave and Beastly. Chris wanted Beastly, not this slicked back guy. He wanted the man who walked around in sweatpants and cooked him eggs and played video games with him at three in the morning when he couldn’t sleep and held him in the dark so he could sleep. He wanted him unbuttoned and wild and…Chris licked the scar running from his jaw to his eye while he raked his fingers through Micah’s hair.
“Don’t stop touching me.” That was Beastly whispering in his ear. Beastly’s mouth on his neck. Beastly’s hands on his body.
Chris grabbed his tie and struggled to get it loose and off. He ripped the buttons from Micah’s shirt as he’d done his own shirt and pulled his arms from the sleeves without bothering with the buttons, the ripping sound of fabric turned him on. Beastly didn’t wear an undershirt. And he never wore briefs. Chris found the zipper, that’s all he needed.
“That’s good. That’s, fuck Chris that’s too good. Don’t make me come before—”
Chris stroked him hard, just the way he liked to be stroked. Letting the friction of his palm set Micah’s cock to dripping. He stroked him until he was wet and shoving his dick into Chris’s hand. “You’re supposed to be letting me do this to you.”
“I’m not stopping you.” Chris let his head fall back against the wall until he could see the image in the mirror and his breath froze in his chest.
The sight of Micah’s bronzed back with its starburst scar as he wrapped around Chris was erotic as hell. Chris ran one hand over his broad shoulder and marveled at how he was all but engulfed by the man. His golden hair stood out like the mane it resembled in Chris’s fantasy. He’d done that. With his fingers and his body. Turned this man into…the subtle rocking of Micah’s hips and his soft growls that sent his hot breath ghosting over Chris’s body… Lover. He’d turned this man into his. His man. His lover. His everything.
“Make love to me. Now. I want naked and your body in mine. I want to be yours. Now Micah.” Chris pulled at his hair with one hand and his dick with the other. He couldn’t stop watching him in the mirror and oh god he wanted more of that. “Right damned now.”
Micah bit his neck and Chris sucked in a lungful of air. “Cool your jets…Chris.” He purred licking his way to Chris’s mouth. And Chris watched that too. Until he couldn’t anymore.
The shove of hands over his hips and the heat of a hand wrapped around his dick had Chris gasping for breath. Micah arched into him and Chris forgot what his hand was supposed to do pressed between them. Micah didn’t forget. He took over, wrapping his hand over both of them.
“Micah.” Chris worried his belt until it came loose and he yanked at his pants until the button popped and he shoved Micah’s pants down until he could grab his ass and hold on.
“Spread your legs some,” Micah said as he rocked into Chris. The mirror image of his golden ass with Chris’s pale fingers splayed over the cheeks. Fuck, he could come from that visual alone.
“Can’t— pants in the way.” Chris managed to get the words out. He was losing his grasp on language and the flow and thought…he couldn’t think…who needed to think when there was a hot man to fuck him into the damned wall. “How did I miss this?”
“You didn’t have me to get your parts all moving in time with your brain… and…I’m going to fucking come. Fuck, Chris.” Micah pulled away very quickly and Chris almost lost his balance but Micah transferred Chris’s hands to the two robe hooks that jutted out from the wall just beside his head. “Hold onto those.”
“Want my hands on you.” Chris didn’t want to just hang there, he wanted to touch and…Micah shut him up with a kiss that started hot and trailed down his chin and under his neck, along his chest, to each nipple, while Chris held on to the damned hooks and hoped he wouldn’t pull them out of the wall.
Micah slowly sank to his knees, kissing, licking, nipping, and biting Chris all the way down, until Chris was so damned sensitized that the first flick of his tongue over the heated head of his cock had his balls pulling up so tight Chris almost shot off the wall.
He didn’t. He held on and let Micah pull his shoes off and toss them into the pile of clothes he was never going to wear ever again, then his socks, followed by his pants, and finally those his briefs. He was naked and free, and Micah popped the cap on the tube of lube that he’d forgotten. “Lift your foot.” He dragged the vanity stool over and put Chris’s foot on it. “Are you watching what I’m doing to you?”
Chris darted his gaze up to the mirror and drew in a deep breath. The blond beauty was him. The one the golden god worshipped, and Chris tried not to close his eyes at the press of warm slick fingers, but he did. “I’m watching. Is that me?”
“That’s you.” Micah’s breath was hot over his hip. He kissed him there, a feather light touch of lips as he pushed that warm slick finger into Chris. “Open your eyes, Chris. I want you to see what you look like when I can’t keep my hands off you. I want you to see the color in your face, and how your eyes are filled with lust and your lips are full and red from kissing. Yeah, that look, the one where you forget to be Kit and become Chris. Sexy. Sexual. Beautiful. Mine. I did that to you. I love that I do this to you.”
“Don’t stop.” Chris couldn’t drag his gaze away from the mirror if he tried. Beastly kissed his hip and his thigh, moving over to give Chris the momentary glimpse of his hand as he pushed his finger into him. “More, Beastly.”
A second finger followed the first and Chris felt the stretch and burn of his body opening for his lover. “I’m going to make love to you Chris. But first I want you to come for me.” He didn’t wait for Chris to reply. He pushed his fingers inside deeper, going slowly until he found that spot that made Chris see fucking stars. “That’s what I wanted. Watch yourself. Watch what I do to you.”
“Can I touch you? I need to touch you.” Chris was desperate to get his hands in Micah’s hair. He wanted to hold on to the wild. He didn’t want to tame it. He wanted to go along for the ride.
“Hold my head. I like when you hold my head. Just don’t close your eyes. Not even when you come.” Micah palmed his balls with his free hand while he pressed the spot deep in Chris’s body until Chris wanted to scream.
“Anything, just please….” He did scream. Micah smiled up at him as Chris let go of the hooks and grabbed two handfuls of hair. He held on when Micah opened his mouth and sucked his dick deep into his mouth, taking him past his gag reflex and into his throat before pulling off to lick at the rim around the head. Chris couldn’t keep his eyes off the image of the golden lion of a man in the mirror on his knees loving him.
Chris watched in fascination as color spilled from the roots of his hair, flooding his face. His eyes sparkled like the blues gems. He bit his lips and watched blood bloom in the swollen pout. His mouth parted and the words spilled from his lips as his body spilled itself into Micah’s mouth. “I’m coming, Beastly. God it’s beautiful. What you do to me. I didn’t know.” He pulled Micah’s hair hard holding his head still so he could fuck into him until he couldn’t take anymore and he shuddered to a stop. “I’m not broken. I’m not a freak.”
Micah rested his head against Chris’s belly. He slowly withdrew his fingers and Chris felt the loss. He wanted to clench his muscles to keep him there. He could barely stand up, clenching anything wasn’t going to happen. Not for a few more minutes.
“No, baby. You’re not. You’re a perfectly normal, brilliant, beautiful man. And I’m fucking in love with you.” Micah stayed on his knees but looked up to meet his gaze. His swollen lips glistened from what he’d done to Chris. Chris couldn’t stand the image in the mirror in place of the man he loved. He sank to his knees still cradling Micah’s hands in his hands, though gently now.
He kissed him, licking his lips and tasting his own…cum. That was cum on Micah’s tongue. Chris’s cum. He wasn’t broken. He could love this man. He could make him happy and be happy. He wanted happy more than he wanted money or food or even shelter. He wanted this man and all the happy he’d never known existed until Micah walked into his prison and broke him out. “Take me to bed, Micah. Make love to me.”
Micah sighed into his mouth. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”
“I’ve been waiting for you to love me all my life it seems.” He traced his thumbs over Micah’s lips. “I didn’t know I could love anyone.”
“But you do?” Was he asking? Chris could see the spark of insecurity in Micah’s eyes.
“I love you, Beastly. With all my heart…the one I finally found buried in there with all that ice.” Chris tried to make it a joke.
“Nah, sweetheart, that’s my line.” Micah smiled, the moment of panic gone as he stood up and hauled Chris up with him. “Come on my beauty, let’s go find a bed so Beastly can maul you some more.”
“Jesus, give a man a nickname and it goes straight to his head,” Chris said, taking his hand back but he found himself pressed against the wall again, with the beast he’d created growling in his face. “Oh fuck me, that’s sexy.”
The floor disappeared from under his feet. Chris felt the world tilt upside down and spin around. He could count on both hands how many times his reality had shifted but this time, he didn’t really have a problem as long as he landed somewhere soft.