Chapter Twenty

Dani

Anything to get him to shut up. Anything to make me shut up too. There were so many things on the edge of my tongue and I had to stop them from being spit out. I had to shut myself up and this was the easiest way I knew how to do that. It’s the only way I know how. It gives me more time to think about what I want to do—what I need to do.

Hunter pulls away and immediately lowers his mouth to my neck. Pinning me against the wall with his weight, he’s able to free one hand to tangle in my hair as he nibbles my ear.

My fingers dig into the fabric of his shirt, craving the muscular flesh underneath. But the way he pulls my hair screams more than words, it screams that he’s just as frustrated as I am right now, and I can’t blame him.

I shudder against his touch and push him back enough so that he drops me to my feet. I throw a palm against his chest, pushing him all the way back against the opposite wall. He lands with a thud, and I must admit I love being in control like this, especially at a time like this when my mind is going haywire with uncomfortable truths that neither of us are ready to say out loud just yet.

I reach for the top of his slacks and rip his shirt out from underneath before making quick work of his belt, sliding it through the loops and tossing it to the floor. Before he’s able to process what’s going on, his pants are around his ankles with his underwear and I’m stroking his long shaft with soft hands.

He shudders, throws his head back against the wall as I wrap my palm around his hot, throbbing hardness, leaking wetness from the tip. He reaches down to unbutton his shirt, then rips it down his shoulders so that he’s wearing nothing but a t-shirt and I’m still fully dressed. It’s quite the role reversal, but neither of us seem to mind.

I stroke him a few more times before pulling on his cock, gesturing for him to move. I move backwards, guiding him toward the bedroom. Once inside, I pull him to the edge of the bed as I take a seat. And just when he thinks he’s about to get something more—my mouth wrapped around his cock, perhaps, I tug on him hard enough to pull him down onto the bed, and force him onto his back.

His hands trail to my hips as I climb on top of him, my skirt draped on either side of his body as my hands slide underneath his white tee. I want to tease him until he’s screaming, until he’s telling me exactly what he wants. I buck my hips against his hardness, my thin panties rubbing across his flesh creating an unbearable tension.

His fingers tangle around my underwear, and he rips at them but they don’t give way.

“Fuck,” he cries out and shifts his hips upward, trying to steal more friction. “Take those off.”

“Why?” I question, my voice breathy and cracking.

“You know exactly why?”

“Yeah?” I tease and bow over him so that I bore into his eyes with mine. They’re feral and ready, wanting, needing, craving. There’s an animal inside of him. There’s an animal inside me too. An animal who wants nothing more than to run, but right now, I can’t. I need this last fix, because just maybe it’ll change my mind. Maybe it’ll change his too.

I push my hands upward underneath his shirt, forcing it to bunch at his shoulders. He reaches behind him and tugs his shirt off in one go.

I just about lose all my senses, just about lose any control I have over him, staring down at his impossibly muscular chest and abs with the most beautiful ridges I’ve ever seen. I buck harder against his cock, until it’s too much for him.

He rips at my panties once more and succeeds in tearing them at one side, just enough so that he can push the remnants of them to one side, and the next time I buck against him, my bare vulnerable cunt caresses against his silky yet steel cock.

He finagles one hand between the two of us and strokes at his cock, lines it up against my opening, and with one upward shift of his hips, he guides his way in.

I let him have all of me, sinking down onto his shaft as slowly as I can until he’s balls deep inside me. Just when he’s about to begin thrusting, I sink down on him further still, using the weight of my body to hold him in place.

But he’s too strong for me and manages to stir from beneath, pushing into me, pulling out of me with short, shallow thrusts that somehow still make me almost go blind. It’s the best cock I’ve ever had, but I know a big part of thinking that is because we’re connected in a way that goes beyond the physical.

I brace both hands against his chest as I begin to ride him faster, harder, allowing him to thrust deeper into me. It’s a battle for control as I fight to set the pace, but he’s too far gone beneath me, too far down the rabbit hole of lust and he’s not going to let me have my way with him.

He thrusts upwards one more time, before using his strong hands to flip me over onto my back. His cock slips free. At first, I think it’s an accident. But not quite.

“What are you doing?” I question, gravel in my throat.

“I want to see every part of you,” he growls as he pulls my skirt down my legs, and does the same with the remaining fabric of my panties. I sit up in bed and rip my shirt over my head, because more than anything I need him back inside me.

He wastes no time doing just that, crawls back over my body and thrusts into me in one sharp, long motion. I let out a yelp, a moan, a scream as he drives into me over and over again, his eyes locked with mine as he fucks me into insanity.

He rises to his knees then tugs on my body, pulling me closer to him, throwing each of my legs over his shoulders for deeper access. That’s when I know for certain I’ve lost control. He drives his cock into me with reckless abandon, his pelvis slapping against mine and I pray that everyone downstairs has already gone home because there’s no way they wouldn’t hear what’s going on up here.

Closer and closer, I find myself hurtling toward a chaotic climax, no longer able to control the moans that are being thrown from my throat. He gets off on being able to make me scream, and I get off on making him sweat.

Beads of sweat trickle down his flushed cheeks as he tightens his grip on my legs. He’s wearing down, but he’s not going to stop until he’s finished with me. The muscles, the grooves in his chest and abs contract as he fucks me harder, deeper.

My toes curl against his shoulders as I break, coming around his hard, thick cock. I’ve never been so loud in my life, never been so loud in bed, but I can’t help it. Can’t shut my mouth, even if my life depended on it. My entire being convulses as I ride out the waves of pleasure.

My eyes spring open when he groans. He empties himself inside of me, continuing to thrust in shorter and shorter strokes until he’s spent completely.

* * *

Once we're finally able to breathe again, Hunter speaks first. “Are you okay? I got a call from Chad that worried me. I—”

“I can’t have kids,” I say abruptly. Just like that. I figure it’s the only thing to do. Best to just say it and get it out of the way, because no matter how fabulous it feels being in Hunter’s arms, I know it can’t last, and I need to do this now. I need to make him understand that whether or not he’s bribing Chad, whether or not he’d called Amy, whether or not I care about him more than any man I’ve ever been with and wish we could have a future together, it can’t last.

“What?” He turns to me.

“It’s exactly what I said. I can’t have kids.” I wet my lips and bow my head, ashamed. “That’s why my ex broke up with me. Why he might want to fuck me, but not marry me.”

“Yeah, well, we both already know he’s a fucking asshole.”

I just shrug. It’s a battle I’ve been through a thousand times before, usually within the confines of my own head. “I don’t blame him and you shouldn’t either. I know you want kids, too.”

He shifts his attention away from me for a moment, but then his hand caresses my cheek and his mouth lands against my neck. He pushes me down on the mattress and crawls on top of me, his breath just as hot as before. But instead of giving in to his touch, I pull away and force myself to sit back up in bed.

He’s trying to distract me, which is exactly what I’ve been afraid of. He’s trying to avoid the hard conversation, and he’s using my lust for him as a weapon against me. He can’t fuck my fears out of me any more than I could ever make him stay.

“Dani, babe, it’s going to be okay,” he says, but his voice is stiff. It sounds false. It sounds desperate, like he’s trying to convince us both but can’t quite do it.

Tears threaten to pool at the corner of my eyes, but I force them away. I can’t cry in front of him, that would be showing him too much weakness. I’ll wait till he’s out the door if I’m going to cry at all. “In your mind, you’ve already left me.”

“What are you talking about?” He shakes his head gently, then tries to touch my face, but I pull away and climb to my feet on the opposite side of the bed so that the mattress separates us.

“Admit it,” I say. “You’re already out the door. There is no us.”

“Dani, our relationship is just beginning. I can’t say what’s going to happen.”

“Right.”

“You hardly know me, Dani. For all I know, you’ll leave me in a month because I'm a wuss who can't handle needles. Maybe you'll even leave me for the Hulk-lookalike at your shop,” he says, trying to make light of it. I can tell he's trying to make excuses, trying to comfort me, but there's no way to comfort me through this. It is what it is, and I need to protect myself before I fall too deep. And with Hunter, I can easily see myself falling too hard for him.

I lock eyes with him and force a gentle smile, but we both know it’s faker than a three-dollar bill. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and when I open them, I’ve already made up my mind. “I’m not waiting for another guy to leave me.”

“I’m not trying to leave.”

“But you will. They always do,” I say.

“I'm trying to stay. I want to stay. Don't make me leave—”

“Do it now,” I tell him, but it’s not a request. It’s a demand. I open the bedroom door and gesture with one hand for him to leave. “Everyone always leaves. Doesn’t matter when, why, or how, but everyone does, so I need you to go.”

“Stop it, Dani. We don't know what the future holds for either of us.” Again, another pathetic excuse. He doesn't want to hurt me, but it will hurt far more once I'm head over heels in love with him and he decides to leave me for a woman who can give him what he wants.

“No. I won’t stop. I said leave. Now!” I push his chest and I keep pushing until he's standing before me. And then I push him toward the door, trying to get him as far away from me as possible.

“Be careful, Dani. You want to push me away? You’re getting close to getting your wish.”

“Go, Hunter. Just go. It's what I want.”

He’s about to say something, but he doesn’t. Instead he just offers me a curt nod before walking out.

I close the door behind him so he doesn’t see me break.

When I hear the front door slam, I sink to the floor with my back against the bedroom door.

I don’t feel angry. I don’t feel sad.

I just feel…empty.