Chapter Nine
Present Day
Downtown Portland, Oregon
The Rehearsal
“Is he coming tonight?” Lily corners me in the kitchen after everyone has finally disappeared to their rooms to get ready for the rehearsal dinner.
“Yes, Liam is coming to everything wedding-related, as if he came here with me for that exact purpose. Is it weird?”
“I don’t think so. As far as I know everyone else is a couple, so it would probably be weird for you if you didn’t have a date.”
“Here’s the thing, though…” I glance around the doorway to make sure no one is within hearing distance. “He didn’t really even hesitate to say yes, is that weird?”
“Maybe a little.” Lily shrugs her shoulders. “But that is exactly what you wanted, so I don’t know why you’re over-thinking it now?”
“Right. I don’t know why, I’m just nervous I think.”
“Maybe you’re nervous because since Jack you’ve only dated a handful of men and it’s never gone further than the first date.” Lily rolls her eyes.
In my defense, I just haven’t found a guy I like. It’s not like I’m some undatable freak. I’ve been asked out on second dates, I just never really feel like going. Why waste my time on someone I know isn’t right?
“What?!” Hannah appears from virtually nowhere and is staring at me through a shocked face. “You’ve not dated since Jack?” Her voice is all high-pitched again. Why does the only person that catches me in untruthful moments seem to always be Hannah?
“No, that’s not what I—” Lily tries to save me from her accidental announcement but it’s too late.
“I heard what you said. It’s been two years; how can you only have had a few first dates?” Her jaw drops open momentarily before she pulls her hand to her mouth with a gasp. “You still love him!”
“No, Hannah, I don’t.”
“Yes you do. That’s the only thing that would explain all this. You ran away from the barbecue the other night, you drank yourself sick at my bridal shower and you and Greta have been literally acting like jealous high-school girls ever since you found out she was engaged to Jack. You’re still in love with him.” She sighs, and paces between Lily and me. “Ems, this could change everything. Like, everything. You have to tell him.” She stops in front of me and grabs hold of both my shoulders. “Seriously, you need to tell him how you feel.”
“I am not in love with your brother, Hannah. Did he leave an everlasting scar? Yes. Did he break my heart into pieces more than once? Yes. Do I still love him?” I stall with my answer, not intentionally. I just don’t have one yet. I’ve tried to work out my feelings and it’s not as easy as one might assume. I want to be over Jack, trust me, I do. I just… can’t. “No. No. I don’t, I just didn’t expect to get here and find him engaged to my arch-enemy.”
They both give me an unsure stare. “What? I can have an arch-enemy, can’t I? She’s an absolute bitch. And you can’t tell me that you’ve never thought it too.” I point straight at Hannah, who frowns but doesn’t disagree. “I am not in love with Jack. In fact, I have a date tonight, and to the wedding.”
“He said yes?” Hannah asks, like it surprises her. Really, though, it only surprises me. I forgot she knew about that. Otherwise I might not have called it a date. It’s more of an arrangement.
“Of course, he said yes.” Lily defends me. “Look at her… She’s gorgeous.”
“Enough kissing ass for the spot of best friend. I have to get ready to wow him.” I give Lily a playful, almost not serious, glare.
“Which him, Em? The stand-in, or Jack?” Hannah purses her lips together, her face scrunched into a silent you can’t deny it look.
She thinks she knows me so well. Damn it! I wish I was a faster thinker when I need to be. But of course I’m tongue-tied. Hannah’s question is the exact question even I’ve refused to answer for the last twenty-four hours. “I don’t know yet.”
“Told you,” she snaps at me.
“UUUGGHH,” I moan to Hannah with an eye roll. “I’ll be down when I’m ready,” I say, in my most irritated voice.
“Wow! You are going to turn some heads.” Lily greets me in the hallway as I walk out of the wedding room carrying my dress that was sharing a bag with a few other options. “Isn’t that the dress?”
It is, and she knows it enough that she didn’t even have to ask. Jack picked this dress out, we even got engaged while I was wearing this dress. He’s unzipped it and watched it drop to the floor more than once. “Maybe,” I respond, really not wanting to get into the whole reason of why I’m wearing it. “I just… Well, if he’s moved on and happy then I really don’t have any way of making him miserable. Unless I wear a dress that I know makes him swoon.”
“Your grand plan now is to make him suffer by realizing he’s still attracted to you?”
“Maybe.”
I’m just glad I brought the dress. Nothing else has really worked out in my favor thus far.
“OK. And how on earth is that ever gonna fit?”
“Is that a subtle way to call me fat?” I glare at her.
“That’s not what I’m saying and you know it,” she snaps back.
“I may or may not have had it altered before we left. OK?”
“Ok…” Lily says it slowly, “Now even I’m curious to know the answer to Hannah’s question.”
“You and me both,” I say to Lily, wondering if my head and heart can ever just get along and agree.
I wasn’t planning on trying to get to Jack by wearing the dress tonight. I wasn’t planning to wear it at all. It was one of those last-minute ideas I had and the reason I missed the original bridesmaid’s dress alteration. I went to have this dress altered, instead of the other. Thank God I did it early, because it took a few days for the woman to practically remake the entire dress to fit my new larger figure, without adding any super-cinching underwear underneath. I needed a secret weapon, just in case. I paid almost as much for the alterations as I did when I bought the dress.
But, now that I’m in it, it was well worth it. Even though I’m thirty pounds heavier than the last time I wore it, it still looks incredible. Jack won’t know what hit him.
“Hey, Em?” Lily calls to me from the bottom of the stairs.
“I’m almost ready!” I call back, trying to do a few last-minute adjustments.
The tap on my door a few minutes later reminds me that I can’t spend forever putting myself together. “Come on in Lil, I’m just about ready.”
The door swings opened and my brother walks in. “You’ve been up here an hour…”
“I know, sorry.”
“Wow. I know my job is to make sure you are properly tormented as my sister but, you look great.”
I smile at him, surprised he’s given me a true compliment as opposed to his normal back-handed ones. “Thank you, Ev. You look great yourself.” He’s wearing a suit, his hair is slicked back and he looks the complete opposite of my normal, casual, chuck-wearing brother.
“I understand your friend agreed to…” His eyebrows narrow in confusion and he shrugs his shoulders at me. “I guess I don’t quite get why you need him, but he’s here.”
“Because I’m the only without a date, and the only one who needs to at least look like I have my life together. I can’t keep showing up alone, it makes it seem like I’m not over Jack.” I grab my bag off the bed and pull on my shoes.
“Right, and bringing a stranger to my wedding does that?”
“It might.” I say, with one more glance in the mirror.
“If it makes the next couple of days easier for you, I’m good with it.” He smiles at me, though I know he’s mad at me. I know these few sentences between us don’t seem like much, but we’re twins. There is an unspoken conversation here that says everything we haven’t said out loud. He’s not happy about me being so back and forth, but he’s willing to overlook it since he’s partially responsible for making my week miserable by asking Jack to be one of his groomsmen.
“Thanks,” I say, as my way of saying apology accepted. “Let’s go and hope there are no more incidents you will need to write down.” I wink at him. Seriously though, please, please let there be no more incidents. I don’t know who’s in charge of that department. God? Or maybe Karma? But whoever it is, please give me some kind of break.
As I get to the top of the stairs I hear Liam talking to Lily and Josh. I try to peek at him before he sees me, but I’m too short to see over the balcony for that. One more deep breath and I’ll be ready to go.
“Come on, Emi.” Hannah exits her room at the end of the hall, her arm linked through Evan’s and the two of them looking completely ready to walk down the aisle. Even if it is only practice for tonight. “You look fabulous!” she says excitedly.
“So do you, just gorgeous.” I return her compliment.
“I know.” She does a small twirl before taking my brother’s arm once again. “Let’s go see your date.”
I follow her to the top of the stairs, way more nervous than I had expected. Why am I nervous? This is basically a business deal. Favor for favor. Liam smiles up at me from where he’s standing.
“Whoa,” he says, wide-eyed.
He’s wearing a pair of black slacks, a nice gray shirt, and a tie. His normally ruffled hair is now slicked over to the side and I’m only just noticing the tattoos showing below his rolled-up sleeves. Which, I’ll admit, is a little bit of an unexpected turn-on.
“Whoa to you too,” I say back to him, feeling more than awkward that everyone in the room is watching us. I haven’t felt this weird about a date since I went to prom in my senior year. If someone pulls out a camera I’ll just die.
He approaches me and quickly kisses my cheek. “I don’t know if I can compete with you, though. You are gorgeous.” I hear Lily awe sarcastically behind me and shoot her a look of death.
“Sounds good.” Evan claps his hands. “Looks like everyone, invited or not, is ready to go.” He ushers us all out of the front door and towards a black limo parked at the curb.
Liam is so close behind me that I can feel my heart nervously drop a little further into my stomach with each step. “So, how are we playing this?” he breathes into my ear, making my brain momentarily stall with any rational or pure thoughts. “Am I boyfriend status, or just a random friend date status?”
I step off the curb behind the limo and pull Liam with me. “Um… I’m not sure exactly what I’m expecting as an outcome quite yet, so I was hoping just random friend date status?”
“Maybe we see what happens? Let’s feel out the situation and see how it goes before we make any solid decisions.”
“Ok.” I nod my head and head towards the door.
“What are you two doing?” Evan asks me as we crawl into the limo.
“Whispering sweet nothings to each other?” Josh adds his two cents, getting a glare from me.
“Nothing, I just… uh—”
“I just wanted to tell her again how gorgeous she looked. My bad. So, introduce me to everyone.”
“Right. So this is Evan and Hannah, the bride and groom.”
Liam reaches out and shakes hands with both of them. “Congratulations to you both, and thank you for letting me escort the second most beautiful woman in the limo.” He nods to Hannah, who immediately projects her inner Southern Belle by blushing and fanning herself.
“And this is my best friend Lily and her husband, Josh.”
“Nice to meet you, Josh. You and Evan are both very lucky men.” He shakes both their hands with a smile before turning back to me, his eyes smiling with far too much enthusiasm.
“What do you do, Liam?” Evan, of course, is the first one to pile on the questions.
“I own Old Tex, the bar up the street. Just bought it about a month ago. It’s kind of a dive bar right now, but I’m hoping to turn it into something a little cooler than that.”
“Ah… And why are you helping my sister?”
“Evan!” I hiss at him, mortified that he’d act like a douche about this.
“Your sister…” He glances over at me with a smile. “She’s a sweet girl, a damsel in distress, you could say. How could I say no?”
“So, I guess I don’t understand the plan?” Evan asks. Clearly he was blowing smoke up my ass upstairs with the whole if it makes you happy line.
“So, you all know our arrangement?” Liam looks at me for a little insight.
“No,” I blurt out before noticing Evan’s eyebrows rise. “I mean yes, they know why you’re coming.” Please, Liam, don’t talk about how it’s in exchange for a favor though. Evan’s mind will go right to the gutter. I plead with him silently and hope he really is as good at reading people as he was the other night.
“We just don’t really know, why. Why did you agree to it?” Hannah follows up.
“Guys, this isn’t a Dateline interview. Can you give the guy a break? He’s here so maybe Jack, Greta and I can be a little more comfortable in the same room, that’s all.” I glare at Hannah and Evan who both shrug their shoulders.
“So, tell me about you two.” Liam smoothly changes the subject “How did all this come to be?”
It takes the entire ride to the wedding venue for Evan and Hannah to tell Liam their love story. Which gives me a chance to try and stop sweating from all the wrong areas.
“He is actually cute!” Lily grabs my arm the moment I leave the limo and walks me into the building, with Josh, Evan and Liam all chatting behind us. “I think he might really like you.”
“Stop it. This is just a favor, nothing more.”
“We’ll see…”
“Fabulous!” A woman with far too much botox in her face claps her hands the moment we walk out of the elevator. “We have wedding party members arriving, and right on time!”
“Hi, Muffy!” Hannah greets Botox Lady with the dreaded air-kisses, while Lily and I mouth the name Muffy to each other and stifle back a giggle.
“We are just waiting for a few more members of the wedding party,” she tells Hannah before they walk away from us inspecting the ongoing decorating. Evan’s phone starts breathing like Darth Vader, a ringtone only a fifteen-year-old would choose, and considering we are waiting for the rest of the wedding party and have nothing else to do, we all watch him answer it.
“She is?” he says. “Right, well I totally understand, don’t worry about it at all.” He taps his phone screen and glances around at us. “Shit. Lane’s wife’s gone into labor. He can’t make the wedding tomorrow.”
From across the room, botoxed Muffy has somehow heard this and is marching our direction, her heels clacking loudly against the floor. “What is this? A rogue groomsman the day before the wedding?”
“I guess so, yes.” Evan nods his head in her direction.
“No, no, no, we can’t have uneven numbers.” She glances around at us and catches sight of Liam. “What about this handsome young man? I can arrange a tuxedo at short notice, I’ll just grab his measurements.” She walks over to him and inspects him too closely for his comfort.
“Uh…” Liam backs away from Muffy’s groping hands.
“I’m in a pinch. Is that something you would consider?” Evan asks him. “I know we don’t know each other, but you seem cool enough and my sister seems to like you.”
Liam glances at me for approval and I shrug my shoulders. “If you want to I’m good with it.”
“All right, I mean what the hell, I was going to be here tomorrow anyway right? Now I can walk you down the aisle.” He looks at me during the last sentence but our moment is interrupted by Muffy’s obnoxious clapping again.
“Perfect! And here is the rest of our party now.”
I turn to look at Hannah’s parents, a few of the bridesmaids and groomsmen from the barbecue the other night, and Jack and Greta. Greta glares at me, all the while hanging off Jack like a cancerous tumor. Jack's eyes meet mine almost immediately, before he looks me over with an almost awkward forced smile that never quite reaches his eyes. This is not the Jack I knew. He looks defeated. I’ve not really let myself spend a lot of time looking at him since I got here, and I wish I hadn’t right now either.
Here I was, expecting him to swoon at the fact that I’m wearing his favorite dress, and his expression is more like he’s just looked into the open coffin of a friend who’s passed on. I force a small smile in his direction but he only looks away.
“Before we get started, I think the bride and groom have some gifts they want to hand out.” A man walks towards us with a rolling cart full of gift bags.
“We do,” Hannah says, as Evan hands a bag to everyone, Liam included. “Evan had these specially made for his groomsmen, but please don’t devour them right now. Maybe later, or even take them home.”
“And I… had these made up this morning and I think you all should put them on right now for rehearsal. It’ll be fun!” Her giddy smile tells me these gifts are either expensive or embarrassing, or quite possibly both.
I watch as other girls start pulling black t-shirts out of their bags. “Oh my God! This is so funny… I love it!” One of the other bridesmaids pulls the shirt on, and I’m immediately afraid to look at my own.
“The Bridesmaids…” Hannah points to the front before having the girl turn around. “I’m the sweet one…” She giggles. “Aren’t they cute!?”
“Which one are you?” Liam leans over quietly asking in my ear.
“I’m afraid to look.” I hold the gift bag tightly against my chest, afraid to pull out my shirt and see what title I’ve been given. All the other girls are pulling their t-shirts on. So far, I see THE SWEET ONE, THE FUNNY ONE, THE LATE ONE, and Greta’s says THE QUESTIONABLE ONE. When I glance at Hannah she smirks at Greta’s shirt. Apparently, all the information I’ve given her this week has made her question Greta’s role in anything.
“Come on Emi, it’s fun. Put yours on.”
I reluctantly pull the shirt out of the bag and turn it to read the back before anyone else can. Shit. It would be just my luck that she’s chosen my weak spot as my title. Thankfully she didn’t choose THE CONFUSED ONE or THE STILL-LOVES-JACK ONE.
“Read it out loud, Ems,” Hannah encourages me.
“Um— THE DRUNK ONE…” I say aloud, and immediately hear Evan burst into a laugh.
“It’s just a joke,” Hannah says to Evan. “Put it on!”
I glance at Lily and Josh behind me before looking at Liam again who has a strange, almost smile on his face. “Fine.” I pull the t-shirt on over my dress and do a spin so everyone can see.
“She got that one spot on, didn’t she?” Greta announces to the room with a laugh before being elbowed in the ribs by Jack. “What?”
“Quiet!” Muffy claps us into silence. “Enough nonsense, let’s get started!!”
“Wait!” Hannah interrupts her quickly, scurrying to her side in the center of the room. “We have one more thing to do.” Evan walks up behind her with two white sashes hanging over his arm. “We haven’t really announced who our Maid of Honor and Best Man are, we wanted it to be a surprise, so…” We all watch her take the sashes from Evan.
“As Evan’s Best Man he chose the guy who he’s been the closest to for so many years, a man who actually helped bring us together so long ago.” She walks up to Jack and puts the sash over his head like he’s just won some sort of beauty pageant, straightening it so the words Best Man lie across his chest.
“Thanks for always being there,” Evan says to him. Finally, I see Jack smile as he walks over to hug my brother.
“And… my Maid of Honor… This was really hard for me, but the last few days really made it clear who it should be. Because of you, this day is even happening and I couldn’t ever be more thankful for that.”
When she’s directly in front of me I feel myself shaking my head. “Hannah, I can’t walk down the aisle with—” I whisper, but she purses her lips and glares with an intensity I can almost feel.
“Emi, I chose you as my Maid of Honor because after today we’ll be sisters forever.” The sash is slung around my neck and straightened to show the glittery pink Maid-Of-Honor squarely across my chest.
“Thanks, Hannah.” I force myself to not be a pain in the ass, and hug her as lovingly as possible.
Muffy claps. “Now that the awards ceremony is over let’s get to rehearsal.”
“Wow… this is quite the wedding already,” Liam says next to me.
“This is bad.” I glance around the room looking for Lily but since she and Josh are only guests and not wedding party, they’ve moved to the seating area and are both scrolling through their phones.
“Why’s it bad?” Liam asks me.
“Because, the Maid of Honor walks down the aisle with the Best Man.”
“I take it the Best Man is the guy who broke your heart?”
“Yes, Jack.” I watch Liam rub his neck for a moment, his face somber and staring into space. When his hand touches mine a spark of electricity moves quickly all the way to my brain.
“Then everything considered, I think my status is now boyfriend status.” And in a moment too quick for me to even process the words he just said, his arm is around my back, he’s pulled me against him and his lips meet mine. I melt… like literally; my knees go weak and I don’t pull away. I can’t, the last time someone kissed me, it was Jack. My head and my heart are in a war and right now my brain is on strike, fizzing like champagne.
“OK, OK… Enough with the love scene.” Muffy’s stern voice causes us both to pull away but Liam's hand doesn’t leave my back. When I glance around the room, all eyes are on us. Hannah’s mouth is hanging open through a huge awkward smile and Jack’s face is much the opposite of hers. “Hannah and Robert to the back of the room, Best Man and Maid of Honor in front of them…”
Hannah skips to me and slips her arm through mine, pulling me from Liam’s touch and towards the back of the room with her.
“Oh my God. So, what is this then?” She tries to be quiet, but I’m sure he just heard her.
“Shhhh… Hannah. I don’t know. He just… kissed me.”
“And?”
“And what?”
“And was it good?” She raises an eyebrow at me.
“What? This isn’t a sleepover where we talk boys. I don’t know what it was. It was, uh…” We stop at the back of the room. The only person there is Robert, who isn’t listening anyway. “It was surprising.”
“I bet! He’s cute, but, are you sure you want this?”
“It’s nothing. It’s just an act, remember?”
“Right…” Her gaze moves to my side, and when I glance round Jack is quietly standing there waiting for us to drop into walking orders. “Right,” she says again, walking away from me towards her father.
“Emi.” Jack voice is unemotional, and he doesn’t look in my direction at all.
“Jack.” I match his tone in return, not really knowing what else to say.
“You look beautiful, as always.” He finally looks down at me with a hesitant shy smile. “Who’s the guy?” He glances at Liam at the front of the line.
I look up at Liam only to discover that he is paired with none other than Greta. She’s got a firm hold of Liam’s arm and is giggling at whatever he’s said in the same way she leeches onto Jack.
“Just a friend,” I answer. How does this dreadful woman keep weaseling her way close to men I know?
“A friend you make out with?” He looks down at me with a disapproving look on his face.
“So? Why do you care?” I ask him, wondering what his motive is for drilling me on a man I’m with, considering he’s here with his fiancée.
“I don’t. I just wasn’t aware you brought anyone, that’s all.”
“Well, we are broken up, so why would I tell you?”
He sighs heavily. “Listen…” He turns to me, this time looking more sad than angry. “I’m not worried about your new guy. I’m worried about you.”
“Why are you worried about me?”
“I just am, Ems. I always have been; you know that.”
“When the music starts,” Muffy yells from midway up the room, “you are to count to three and then take your groomsman’s arm and start slowly walking up the aisle.” I glance up and see Liam and Greta now deep in conversation, and worry a tiny bit that some time between now and tomorrow night, this whole act might end up blown.
“We need to talk,” Jack whispers, holding out his elbow for me.
“We don’t.” I refuse to take his elbow before absolutely necessary.
His sigh says what he’s thinking without him needed to say it. “Ems, please, I just want to say what should have been said two years ago. Can I have at least that?”
“No.” I finally take his elbow with a glare.
“Fine.” We both take a step forward. “I’ll say it right now then.”
“What?” I say, a little louder than intended, and see Greta turn to us from midway up the aisle. “Jack, no.”
“I never cheated on you.”
I roll my eyes and take another step forward.
“That day, I know it looked bad, but it wasn’t the way it looked.”
“Stop.” I look up at his sad face. “Just stop. I’ve heard all this before, but I know what I saw.”
“You don’t, though, and you need to know this.” His eyes plead with me, and for the first time since I’ve been here I see a tiny bit of the Jack I knew and loved.
“Can we STOP the conversation back there and pay attention!?” Muffy yells back at us, her finger waving from across the room and silencing us both, which honestly is a relief on my part.
Another step forward but Jack leans closer to me. “We will talk this week, whether you like it or not,” he whispers into my ear, his breath making the hair on my neck stand straight up.