Chapter 16—Emmy
It doesn’t take me long to clear my things from his apartment. I decide to leave Cat, mainly because I have no where to bring her and all the things that she needs, but also so that Maddox will see this as me not running.
I’m not. I’m going to get myself settled away from him and work on learning how to get him out of my heart. I can do it…I think.
My phone rings over and over shortly after I leave Asher and Chelcie’s, but I ignore it. I know my window of opportunity is short, and if I stall at all, he will be here and throw his demanding alpha vibes up—refusing to let me leave.
Not wanting to take his Charger and further fuel his anger, I make a call to the only person I can think of who can help me out right now.
Sway.
“Well hello, you dark prince you,” his voice chimes through the line, leaving me confused—until I realize that I’m on Maddox’s landline.
“Hey,” I whisper. “I hate to disappoint you, Sway, but I don’t think I’m your dark prince.”
“Why do you sound like that, Miss Emmy?”
There aren’t many times when we get the Sway he keeps hidden. Deep down, I know he loves us more than we could ever know. Hearing the care and worry in his voice is almost my undoing, but I hold strong.
“Do you think you could pick me up? My car is still… My car isn’t here and I need to leave.”
“Sure thing, darling girl. Let me get things settled and I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you, Sway. I owe you one.”
“Far as I can see were even, my love.”
Confused at his words, I ask, “How could we possible call it even, Sway?”
He’s silent for a beat. I can hear him moving around, clearly using this time to pick his words. “Everything happens for a reason, Emmy. I know that now. As much as I hated seeing you gone day in and day out, you brought my Davey to me. So, yes…we’re even. If anything, I still owe you,” he laughs.
I heard about Davey, or David, through the gang. He is my replacement at Corps Security. Apparently, according to Melissa, not too long after he started, he and Sway began a relationship that has only grown since. I’m glad that he’s happy—he deserves to be happy.
“I’ll be in the lobby waiting, okay?” I question, ready to get off the phone and on my way.
“Toodles! Sway is on the way to save the day,” he giggles into the phone before disconnecting.
With a heavy heart, I grab a piece of paper and write Maddox a note.
True to his word, Sway didn’t waste any time getting to me. He loaded up my few belongings into his car and we were on our way. He must have come straight from home because he’s dressed in simple—even if they are hot pink—sweats and a tee. His wig is absent, giving me one of those rare glimpses at him without his public persona.
“Sway…uh, do you really, like, sweat glitter or something?” I ask when I notice that his floorboards are sprinkled with golden glitter.
I’ve always thought it was hilarious how obsessed this man is with gold glitter. First, he painted the sidewalk in the complex that his salon and Corps Security are housed completely in it. Then the guys would randomly run into him and his glitter-throwing ways, coming into the office and dusting it off all over the floors. I can’t even remember how many times I had to clean that junk up. Regardless of why, it always seems to make everyone smile.
“I probably should by now,” he laughs.
Not wanting to be alone with my thoughts, I tell him which hotel to take me to and ask, “So what started all of this craziness?” I laugh.
He’s quiet for a moment, so unlike Sway, so I turn my attention back out the window.
“It all started when I was maybe fifteen, sixteen—hell, I don’t know. Back then, I was still begging for my parents to stop calling me Dilbert,” he laughs. “My parents are both preachers,” he says, shocking me. My eyes widen and I jerk my head in his direction. “Oh, that got your attention, didn’t it, sweetness? Yeah, I was a black man born in the Deep South, gay as it gets, with two preachers for parents. It probably couldn’t have gotten worse for me. They ignored me the best they could but refused to let…well, Sway out. I had to be Dilbert when anyone was around.” He pauses and I settle into the silence around me.
“The only time I was really happy was at Sunday school, at school, or drama class. The art supplies—oh, girlfriend. You should have seen how much I could make a simple piece of construction paper shine like a queen! I guess, in a way, between art projects and costumes for drama, the glitter became my lifeline to keeping my happiness about me. We all have that thing, you know? That one thing that is calming for us. The one thing that, even when your world feels hollow, can make you feel whole. So, as silly as it is, mine is gold glitter. It’s my happy.”
I wipe a wayward tear from my cheek and smile softly at him. “You’re pretty awesome. You know that?”
He laughs and shakes his head.
“I mean it! Do you know how many times the guys would be in a terrible mood, go out and meet with a client, only to come back and be on the receiving end of your glitter throwing? Every single time, they would come back into the office and seem lighter. It was almost like a mood cleaner. You toss some of that stuff in the air and it’s like the people around you are helpless to not feel a little of your happy.”
He pulls into the hotel and parks, turning in his seat to look at me. One thick and manicured hand comes up and smooths my hair down. I smile at him and enjoy the lightness of the moment.
Until he speaks.
“And pray tell, my sweet little honey pot, what is your happy?” His hand leaves my head and reaches out to pull one of my cold ones into his hold, enveloping it between his own.
“What?” I ask faintly.
“You heard me. What is it that calms you? Makes your hollow whole again?” His voice is soft, his eyes searching without judgment—even though he knows the answer.
“I don’t have one anymore, Sway.” That’s as honest as I can be. I never had Maddox, as much as I had hoped during our time at the cabin. He’s the uncatchable.
“Oh, you sweet child. You have a happy, and as soon as you both let go of the bullshit, you’ll have that happy together.”
“You talk in riddles, you crazy man,” I laugh mirthlessly.
“I talk the truth. I’ve seen a lot of pain in my life, Emmy-Rose. I know another hurting soul when I see it, and that man is hurting. You don’t just forget that instantly. You’ve fought for him, and while I admire your strength, it’s time for you to let him fight to believe in you and that love…that happy.”
“Easier said than done.”
He smiles, his bright, white teeth almost glowing in the dim interior of his car. “Mark my words, he knows what he can have, and one day soon, you’re going to wonder what it’s like to breathe without that tall glass of hotness on your toes. I suspect you won’t wait much longer either.” He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
“I love you. You know that?”
“Of course I do, darlin’. Everyone loves Sway,” he says with a laugh.
I climb out of the car and meet him around the back, grabbing my stuff from the trunk and placing it on the luggage cart. His arms are around me before I can even say thank you and goodbye.
“Chin up, buttercup,” he whispers in my ear, and I feel a rush of calming peace settle over me.
A few hours, one dead cell phone, and room service later, I’m ready to call it a night. I have plans to spend tomorrow figuring out where the hell I go now. Do I stick around, continue this tiring battle of the wills with Maddox? Or do I work on finding a new path—a path without Maddox and the family I love here?
I know I’m stupid to continue to find something worth fighting for in Maddox. He’s made it clear that he doesn’t want me—or better yet, that he does but he can’t, whatever that means. I might never get through to him, but I really feel like if I don’t try at least one more time—with everything I have in me—I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
He needs someone to believe in him, and I’m guessing he’s never had that. He needs someone who never gives up on him, since I’m guessing that’s all he’s been used to the vast majority of his life.
He needs his ‘happy,’ as Sway calls it.
And I just hope it’s me.
I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow with the determination that I can do this. I just have to toughen up a little, chin up, and YOLO.
“That’s it, buttercup.”