CHAPTER 32
LOLA
My heart was beating so fast I thought it might explode from my chest. I didn’t expect us to be in this position, with me lying on top of Drew. I assumed he would lie on top of me, which had made me incredibly anxious. Being crowded and reliving the feeling on being pinned down would have likely dragged my thoughts back into the past. Like this, I was in control, the air on my back reminding me I was free, not tied down.
“This is okay,” I whispered as my gaze dropped to the place our hips almost joined.
Taking the heavy weight of his manhood in my hand, I positioned myself over him, then ever so slowly began to lower myself. The slow penetration didn’t overwhelm me with bad memories, but somehow washed them away. I felt empowered, maybe even beautiful. Keeping my eyes on Drew’s increased the intimacy and connection we both felt, and he didn’t look away once, his intense gaze keeping me secured to this moment, to him, to us.
“I’m gonna put my hands on your waist and help you, okay?” His voice was deep and husky, and the lust burning in his eyes gave me the courage to nod. The warm press of his big hand on my hip was gentle, reminding me this moment was anything but unwilling and painful. Another hand on my opposite hip gripped me carefully, and then Drew slowly moved me, gently lifting and lowering me, working me onto him slow and steady. The rhythm began to build another orgasm, and when he stopped moving, I squirmed with impatience.
“Give me a sec, baby,” he panted. As he lowered his head to my shoulder, I remained still. Sitting in Drew’s lap, with his cock buried deep inside me, was a magical moment. If I had to sum it up in one word: liberating. I couldn’t stop the twitching from down there, where Drew was inside me, and his low growl made me twitch again with anticipation.
“You’re gonna be the death of me, Mouse.” With a lazy grin, he pulled away. “Ride me, baby.”
I had only ever ridden a bike, but I knew how the mechanics of this worked, so I shifted my hips up and down, hoping he wouldn’t fall out. The rhythmic pace we set helped fuel the orgasm that had started to slip away when Drew stilled us, but something was missing. Everything felt good, but the orgasms I had reached with Drew’s mouth on me felt far away and unreachable. My movements became almost frantic while he watched me, and his eyes filled with awe and lust.
“What some help?” he panted.
Nodding, I felt Drew’s hands wrap around my waist, and his long fingers dug into my ass cheeks. Drew encouraged me to roll my hips, and the movement had my clit rub against his pelvis in a way that sparked lights behind my eyes. Holy shit, that was amazing.
“That’s it, baby. Take what you need from me. You’re a stunning woman, so fucking sexy riding me like this.”
I doubted that. There were far more beautiful women in the world, but with Drew, he made me feel as though my flaws were insignificant. With Drew, my scars disappeared, and all I saw was him. Rocking my hips harder, I watched as Drew leaned forward and took one of my bouncing breasts in his mouth. The pull on my nipple and the grind of my clit against his pelvis was an electrifying combination.
“Fuck, these tits are beautiful. I’m gonna spend an entire day in bed worshiping them, might even fuck ’em.”
His careful gaze settled on me, and a sultry smile filled his face.
“Would you like my cock sliding between these tits, baby?”
He pushed my breasts together, and I imagined his dick sliding between them. I’d never thought such a thing was possible, and the erotic picture he painted made my pussy clench down on him.
“Oh yeah, you’d like that.”
His hands left my breasts and grabbed my ass, pushing me harder and faster on him until the world around me became nothing but a bright, white light, and I screamed out his name. When I finally opened my eyes, Drew kissed my nose, cupped my ass cheeks hard and held me down as he rode out his own orgasm, a rough growl escaping his lips. Eventually, we both stilled, and the only thing that could be heard was our combined panting. The rough callouses of Drew’s hands created a slightly abrasive feel as he followed the path of my spine and pulled me down with him until he was lying flat on his back with my body sprawled over his sweaty chest.
“Are you okay, Mouse?”
“Uh-huh,” was all I could manage to respond.
“Such a brave girl. You humble me.” His voice reverberated through his chest, into my ears, and deep into my heart.
“Is it always like this?” I found myself wondering out loud.
“When two people love each other it is.”
The ‘L’ word caused my stomach to flip with excitement. “You love me?” I blurted out, abruptly pushing my upper body off him.
He raised his brow and grinned playfully, “maybe just a little.”
I shoved his shoulder hard. “Maybe I love you a little bit too,” I quietly confessed.
The moment seemed to pause right there with Drew’s pleased gaze lingering on me. We didn’t need any more words; the ones we had exchanged were enough and said it all. All too soon Drew gently rolled me off his body. “Don’t go anywhere, I’ve got to get rid of this,” he said, pointing to the condom. I watched him slide it off, tie it, and wrap it in a tissue before throwing it in the small trash can that sat by the door. Then he climbed back into bed with me and pulled the blankets over us.
I’d been so scared of letting another man touch me like Ben had. The thing was, Drew would never allow another man to touch me how Ben had, not even himself. What I could remember of Ben’s touch had been invasive, painful, and humiliating. Drew’s touch was the exact opposite: gentle, intense, and loving. I couldn’t believe I’d had sex, with Drew no less. Was this how losing your virginity was supposed to feel? Such a mind-blowing, momentous occasion that left you feeling at a loss for words, but at the same time full of emotion? The relief that I’d been able to have sex and not freak out was monumental. The experience had helped me to feel like a woman again; I felt in control and stronger. I knew it wasn’t the act itself that made me stronger. It was being able to control the situation, enjoy it, and know that my attacker hadn’t taken this away from me, like I once thought he had. Ben had tried to break me, but luckily for me, these wonderful people who care so much about me refused to let that happen. I refused to let that happen. Ben may have made me crumble, but with the help of therapy and, of course, Drew, I was being rebuilt. Lola Crane was being resurrected. My identity as Lola was the closest I ever came to feeling like ‘me.’ Lily was always scared, mild, and meek, terrified of everyone and everything. Lindy, the identity Dillon had given me, had been broken and scarred beyond recognition. But Lola, she’d been at peace and happy if only for a short time. I thought I’d lost that, but beneath the layers of pain and fear, I’d begun to find it again.
***
I woke with a start. It was like being slapped from a peaceful slumber straight into a horror movie. A large hand was pressed forcefully over my mouth, and my heart slammed hard in my chest. My body lurched from groggy sleep into instant panic as I began to flail against the restraining hands holding me down. Not again. I drew as much air through my nose and was about to scream through the fingers that held back my voice when a deep, gritty sound caught my attention. I was breathing hard, too hard, but over the panic I heard Drew’s voice whispering in my ear.
“I’m fucking sorry, Mouse. I didn’t want to wake you like this, but something's going on. I need you to roll off your side of the bed, grab some clothes, and get dressed.”
His calm words soothed my out of control heart, and even though my body still trembled, I nodded in understanding. Drew’s hand slid away, and his lips pressed a quick kiss of apology to my cheek. Rolling carefully from the bed, I crouched and immediately found my suitcase sitting neatly pushed up against the wall. In the dark, I had to rummage aimlessly through my clothes until I found panties, and pulled them quickly up my legs. I couldn’t hear Drew behind me, but I knew he was there, and it gave me the courage to slip into a pair of shorts, struggle with a bra, and pull on a t-shirt, all while holding myself together rather than crumbling in panic. My clothing could have been inside out for all I knew, but my hands were shaking, and I didn’t want to slow down to figure it out. Suddenly, Drew was kneeling beside me and shoving my sneakers into my hands.
“Hurry, Mouse.” Not bothering with socks, I pulled them on and fumbled with the laces until I was sure they were tied. “Ready?”
“Uh-huh.”
Drew’s hand wrapped around my arm, and he carefully pulled me to my feet before moving around the bed until we were standing in front of our closed door. Here, he paused and I stilled, my body pressed against his back as I absorbed the heat radiating from him. Silence greeted us, and I wondered what was going on. I couldn’t hear anything, nor could I see anything. What had Drew heard that had him launch into warrior mode? Glancing toward the curtains that were pulled across the large window, I noticed a silhouette cast from the moonlight, proving to me something was in fact, “going on.” Who was that? Tugging on Drew’s shirt, I pointed before remembering he probably wouldn’t be able to see me in the dark space.
“Who’s that?” I breathed as quietly as possible.
Drew’s response was to open our door and move on silent feet across the threshold. I was practically dragged across the living area, through the kitchen, and into the laundry room. The figure that greeted us almost pulled a scream from my lips until Gabbie’s reassuring whisper instantly calmed me.
“Two at the front. There was also one at the back that I’ve already taken care of,” she murmured, while pulling open the door which led outside. Gabbie took a moment to check around the door frame, then she disappeared into the darkness. My hand, wrapped in Drew’s, received a tight squeeze before he encouraged me to hold the back of his belt.
“I need both my hands free. Don't let go unless I tell you to,” he whispered in my ear, his breath tickling my neck.
Then I was being pulled out into the crisp night air. It was quiet, not even a breeze disturbed the night as Drew kept us pressed to the side of the house. I had no idea where Gabbie was, and the thought that something might happen to her made me feel nauseated. Gabbie had skills, though, and somewhere deep down I knew she could take care of herself.
“Go, go, go,” her voice came from somewhere behind us, scaring the shit out of me.
Her voice was urgent, and Drew didn’t wait to ask her what was going on. He simply crouched low and ran across the small clearing that separated the barn from the forest. I did my best to keep up, my fingers hanging onto his belt like a lifeline that might be severed at any moment.
Once we were under the cover of trees, Drew maneuvered us through the forest like he’d done it a thousand times. I guess when he and Gabbie had been checking the perimeter and ‘getting a lay on the land,’ this is what they meant.
A popping noise split the calm air around us, and Drew swore before using a big hand to push my head down. I felt Gabbie’s hand on my back, her body protecting mine.
“Hijo de puta!” Gabbie spat out.
Under the slight glow of the moon, I watched as she stood taller, turned, and fired her own weapon. Then I was tugged forward again, Drew ducking and weaving through the forest while I did my best not to trip over and fall flat on my face.
We suddenly stilled and Drew pressed my body against a large tree.
“What about Grandma Catalina?” I whispered frantically.
“She’s okay. We had a plan in place for her. We need to worry about us right now, and we need to keep quiet, Mouse.”
I stood still as a statue while trying to catch my breath without making too much noise, which was much harder than I thought possible. Drew wasn’t even panting, and it occurred to me that maybe I should have been joining him on those runs he went on every day. My stamina was non-existent.
A sudden noise to our left had Drew’s body tense as he pointed his gun, pressing me even further into the bark that bit my naked arms and legs.
“Don’t shoot me, Grumpy Bear,” Gabbie whispered, coming to stand beside us. “Let’s move out.”
Once again I was being dragged through the trees and trying hard not to fall flat on my face. God, this was just like Thailand. Would there ever be a time when I was not running? It felt as if my entire life had been a damn marathon.
Gabbie slipped into position behind me, and Drew led the way until we were standing by a small creek. I imagined it would have looked pretty if the darkness hadn’t smothered its beauty. Drew didn’t stop; he simply waded into the water making as little noise as possible and pulled me right along with him. The ice cold water hit my skin like sharp knives, and I gasped as I was dragged deeper into the water. I was able to touch, barely, but Drew’s hand never left mine as he pulled me quickly to the other side and began to drag me up the embankment. Now with wet shoes, my feet slipped on everything, and Drew had to holster his gun to help me up. Another popping noise made my heart skip a beat, and Drew shoved me hard to the ground, pressing my body to the ground and covering me. More popping, which I assumed was Gabbie returning fire, followed by a thunking noise and Gabbie spitting out something in Spanish which didn’t sound quite as beautiful as it normally did.
“Get your ass moving,” she ground out, an edge to her voice I had never heard before.
Drew pulled me to my feet, and I was airborne, my abdomen connecting with his hard shoulder as he carried me up the embankment and away from the creek. Before I had a chance to tell him I was going to puke, he dropped me to my feet and turned me until I was facing what seemed like a rocky outcrop buried under the thick forest. He pushed my head, and I dropped to my knees.
“Gabbie?” he whispered.
“I took one down, the other is still out there.” She paused, panting hard which seemed unusual for Gabbie. “I don’t think the bullet came out,” she murmured from beside me.
I realized what the unfamiliar tone in her voice was . . . pain.
“You’ve been shot?” I squeaked out.
“Where?” Drew demanded, not a trace of fear behind the word.
“Shoulder, but low.”
“Get in the hole with Lola. I’m going to take care of this.”
Gabbie didn’t argue. She crawled into the shadowed space in front of us, and Drew pushed me, signaling me to follow.
“Drew?” I asked, wondering if he was going to fit into the narrow crevice. I doubted he would.
“Get in there, Mouse. You need to find where Gabbie’s been shot and put pressure on it to slow the bleeding. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”