A while later, Ryan broke away from the party backstage long enough to make his way to the lockers. He needed a shower badly, but that would have to wait.

As would deciding how to handle the text he’d received. One location of a poker game, coming up.

It was his own fault for asking that older guy for info. Wanting to make a clean break from bad habits didn’t change that he owed Denver for his rent. Shit, he even owed her for leaving behind fucking pocket money after she’d fucked him senseless. Or vice versa.

That might have been a mutual fucked senseless in that case.

All he needed from her was her sweet-as-hell body and her laughter and her. Just her.

Money he was used to doing without. Being in a successful band should’ve changed that, but they were still on their way up and he’d gotten in too deep.

It happened. Lots of things did, most of them unplanned. Including sleeping with his best friend and hearing her say she didn’t want it to happen again.

But he was trying not to focus on that anymore. She’d come to the show and she’d stayed for a while. That was the part he was going to think about for a while.

He reached behind his head and yanked off his sweat-soaked shirt. He dumped it in his duffel and grabbed a clean Godsmack one, tugging it on just as West appeared in his line of sight. His buddy smacked the locker beside Ryan’s and let out a howl of laughter. “Fucking awesome, right?”

“So says the guy who’s got a pretty girlfriend ready to show her appreciation for your latest display of insanity. Though after the way you rushed off to see her, I figured you’d be humping in a closet by now.” Ryan thumped his friend in the gut and bent to grab a fresh pair of socks and a clean pair of jeans. He’d sweat through everything.

“Discretion, dude. We have some now and then.” West tapped his head on the locker door and looked over Ryan’s shoulder to where Lauren was probably standing with everyone else. The pining expression the guy wore was a strong clue. “She’s amazing, just like we were tonight. Finally, we’re coming together, man. The whole group is just…” He flexed his fingers and fisted them. “Gelling.”

Ryan grunted in agreement. West wasn’t wrong. With every show, they were more in sync.

However, he didn’t have a long night of sex waiting for him back at the hotel as West surely would, so his own mood wasn’t quite as cheery.

Also, he was a bitter dickhead who was jealous of his best friends getting all happily coupled up when he hadn’t even thought he minded being single. And he hadn’t.

Until fucking Denver.

It wasn’t the single part that was sticking at him. It was the not getting to touch her again. Not getting to hear her moans or her sighs or watching as she let go of the control she wore as armor. As she’d trusted him to know what she’d needed and to deliver it. That was new, all so new, but if she’d just given them a chance, they could’ve—

What? What could they have done? Two defiantly single people who’d been friends for a while—the best of friends—and lived on a bus that grew no roots. So they could fuck and travel around together and be happy. That obviously wasn’t a consideration. Because he’d fucked up by following his ego into that back room and getting into trouble. Gambling wasn’t a dirty little secret. It had just been the first thing to make him feel something in a damn long time.

Something to mask the needs that had been steadily growing for Denver. Opening that Pandora’s box had certainly made that clear. Because he sure as hell didn’t want to walk away from more of her—of them.

“We’re doing good,” Ryan muttered, affixing a smile on his face since West was waiting for some sort of reply. His normally good-spirited buddy was wandering among the clouds lately, and if he sensed even the slightest weakness in Ryan, he’d pounce.

“You okay? You seem off, man.”

Yep, there it was. The “I’m in love and fucking like a rabbit on speed and you’re not” smile of halfhearted concern. “Doing great.” Ryan shucked his sneakers and swapped his socks and jeans for the clean ones, then pulled back on his sneakers. He tossed the dirty clothes in his duffel and slung it over his shoulder. “Couldn’t be better.”

“You sure about that?” West fell into step beside him as he headed over to the refreshments table to grab a soda. Others in his band were already into the beer, but Ryan wasn’t looking to get drunk. It would be too easy to fall into a vat of liquor and not climb out until he didn’t remember Denver giving him the brush-off.

“Sure. Why wouldn’t I be?” Ryan popped the top on a Mountain Dew and then cursed before he’d taken the first sip. Of course. Denver’s choice for a caffeine fix during the conversation where she’d decided to drive a skewer into his ribs.

He tossed back half the can in one swallow. Still hadn’t deflated his dick in her direction though. Far from it.

“Just, you know, everything’s changed with us. The three of us. Aw, hell.” West scratched the back of his neck and averted his gaze. “Just stuff’s different now.”

“Always eloquent, pal.” Ryan shook his head. “You’re good?”

“Yeah.” West inclined his chin in Lauren’s direction. “Really good. You know Lo. She’s incredible.”

“Yes, she is. So maybe you should be celebrating with her instead of dick-dogging me.”

West’s brow furrowed as he dipped his head. His hair was growing back after his impromptu decision to go bald onstage a few months ago, and he had a blond, spiky thing going on. “Don’t even know what that means, but I’m definitely not on your dick. In your dreams.”

“I’ll pass. Just saying, don’t worry I’m not getting any. It’s all good in that arena.”

“There’s more to life than sex.” West’s brows lifted. “Holy shit, did I just say that?” He patted his chest as if he were checking to see if he was still in one piece. “Damn. I better have a drink before I start spouting poetry or something.”

Ryan laughed and shoved him toward the other end of the refreshments table. “You just do that.”

He was still laughing as he turned around to tell Lauren that her dude needed some help finding his man card. But before his gaze landed on Lauren, his phone went off again. Without looking, he knew who it was. The older guy who’d texted him about the game. It would be starting before long.

Time to put up or shut up.

“Party people, I have an idea,” West called out.

Ryan groaned with everyone else as he cupped his phone in his pocket. He’d deal with it soon enough.

West moved toward Lo, beer in hand, and stepped between her and Jules. He glanced over his shoulder as a flash of brown hair moved into Ryan’s eye line. “Hey there, Denver. Join the fun. We’re just about to move this thing somewhere else. Assuming everyone is on board.” He waggled his brows at Lo, who tipped her head back at him quizzically. He bent down to whisper in her ear and she clapped like a kid about to get in line for a new toy.

New toys plural, it turned out.

“There’s a new shop just up the block from this place. Called The Velvet Vault. I’ll give you a couple guesses what vault they’re talking about, and it ain’t belonging to a bank.” West smirked and stroked a hand down his girlfriend’s shoulder. “I think we should check it out. The place is supposed to be super classy.”

“Who told you that?” Jules asked, letting out a snort.

“Your boyfriend, actually,” West tossed back. “One of them.”

The boyfriend West was referring to had to be Randy, since he was the head of the lighting staff and often traveled with the band. He’d just joined up with them tonight since this was a stripped-down segment of the tour and he’d had other work on the west coast. The other guy in their committed threesome, Tristan, was home running his restaurant in LA.

“Oh. Hmm.” Juliet pursed her lips. “Is that so?”

“It’s so. He said he was going to take you there after the set. So I figured we should all go. Make a field trip of it.”

“Yeah, sure, make a field trip of it so you rub it into the faces of those of us flying solo while we’re in New York. Nice work, asshole.” Michael thumped West on the back and he shrugged.

“Sorry. Sucks to be you, Mikey boy. Get a cock ring and FaceTime your wife. We don’t judge.”

Laughter broke out around them, and even Ryan had to grin at the obvious light that popped into Michael’s eyes. West had clearly given him ideas.

Lucky fuckers, the whole bunch of them. Well, half the band anyway. Some of their membership were very much members of the woman-of-the-night club. Like Mal, who was tossing back a beer and staring at the phone in his hand, as if he didn’t care one iota what West was proposing now.

Ryan fought the urge to step to the left to catch Denver’s eyes. Surely she’d disappear, as she did so naturally. She wouldn’t want to go to a sex shop with the rest of the band, even if she did like to hang out with everyone when she could. But a shop where the express purpose was to enjoy sex when she’d put the kibosh on them doing that again…yeah, not gonna happen.

“That sounds fun,” Denver said, slipping her hands in the back pockets of her jeans.

Ryan squinted in her direction, but she stepped behind Lauren and out of his view before their gazes connected.

Damn woman. Always would do anything to be contrary.

Or it could be she just liked toys, which really wasn’t helping him to remember he was pissed at her. Imagining Denver on her back, her golden thighs spread, a vibrator in her hand, teasing her sweet pussy—

Fuck. Yeah, he just wasn’t going to think about that any longer.

“A sex shop? Seriously?” Molly examined her manicure and let out a sigh.

“They have lingerie too, if it’s the place Sparks mentioned,” Jules said, referring to her boyfriend.

“Maybe they’d have a toy that could help you get the stick out from your ass,” Mal offered, throwing up a middle finger of his own when Molly flashed him one without turning around.

“Hmm. The lingerie at some backstreet adult shop is probably on the lower end.”

Jules shook her head. “No, this is a decent place. They’re mostly known for their online shopping experience. All exclusive products, classy setup. There’s only a couple of actual stores in the whole nation.”

“Yay.” Mal did a fist pump. “Just what I’m thinking about when I wanna fuck. Class.”

“No, a toilet seat is good enough for you most times, isn’t it?” Elle asked sweetly, snagging a water bottle as she joined the group. She’d lost her boyfriend hookup somewhere along the way.

Her new dude was probably sleeping it off somewhere. The guy seemed to always have a drink in his hand. Ryan wasn’t sure what Elle was even doing with him. He’d heard she’d had a wild past, but it was hard for him to equate the easygoing, low-key woman he knew with someone who’d partied hard.

Then again, loneliness accounted for a lot of crazy decisions. Maybe Elle had just hooked up with the guy to kill some time on the road. There were worse ways to do it.

Maybe that was even why he and Denver had—

No. Fuck no. Not even close. Proximity and a night on their own might have hastened things along, but if she hadn’t known that in some way they’d been headed to that place all along, she was nuts. Or he was nuts for being pissed she wasn’t onboard with something so obviously right.

“Ry? You in, brother?” West asked.

To hell with it. He’d buy some damn sex toys. He’d gotten his replacement credit card overnighted to the hotel. Time to do some damage. Even if he didn’t know who he’d use them with, because the one woman he wanted was solidly out of reach.

He glanced up, on the verge of answering, when his gaze finally met Denver’s. The moment was brief. There would be no lingering mutual stares tonight, that was for sure. But that instant of connection was enough to tighten his groin and dry out his throat.

“I’m in,” he said, voice low. Wanting her to hear everything he wasn’t saying in his tone.

Trusting she’d get it, just like she got him.

You may not want this, may not be able to handle this, but I can. And I’m waiting for you.

“What about you, little Ricki?” Mal asked lazily without lifting his focus from his phone. “Or are you not allowed to go anywhere when your hanger-on isn’t present?” He tapped his cell against his mouth and made his eyes wide. “Gee, I wonder where he might be. Found someone new to sponge off, perhaps?”

Elle stared resolutely ahead. Mal loved to goad her by referencing her full name, the name she deliberately didn’t go by anymore. Richelle and Ricki were supposedly reminders of her wild past, but Mal didn’t hesitate to twist the knife.

“I’m in,” she said cheerfully, giving no sign she’d even heard Mal other than her white-knuckled grip on her water bottle.

“Miss Molly?” West questioned, evidently deciding to leave Sir Grumps-A-Lot for last. Wise move.

She gave a dainty shrug. “Sure. I was only going to paint my nails anyway.”

“Righteous.” West gave her a fist bump and she offered him a rare smile as she returned the gesture.

West blew out a breath and looked up at the ceiling as if he was resigned to his fate. “Malachi?”

“Nah. I’d rather meet a flesh-and-blood chick than pick up a blow-up doll. But thanks.” He clambered down from his spot on the end of one of the tables and headed out the door without a backward glance.

“He’s so sweet,” Lo said, shaking her head. “But his loss. I won’t bring him back any of the good porn.” She frowned up at West. “There will be good porn there, right? I’m getting burned out on the free sites.”

“How did you find her?” Ryan couldn’t help asking with more than a little wistfulness. “Sure you aren’t looking for a change, Lo? I play keyboards too, sweetheart.”

“You dabble. I like a man who is dedicated to his craft.” Lo patted West’s puffed-out chest, making Ryan laugh.

Then he noticed Denver break free from the pack and disappear through the same door Mal had just used.

Christ, it had just been a joke. She had no right to be upset about him teasing Lo.

If she even was. How the hell was he supposed to know? The woman was impossible.

He started to follow her, then hung back. Yeah, not his problem anymore. They were close, and they always would be even if she tried to put up walls. But when it came to the areas of sex and sex jokes and anything thorny like that, he’d just keep a safe distance.

Better for both of them that way, even if it sucked balls.

Much like this whole situation.

He followed the others through the maze of hallways until they reached the back door that emptied into an alley. Relief surged through him as Denver joined them at the outside door, though he wasn’t thrilled she’d been waiting in a dark alley alone. But that was his girl. She could take care of herself, and she’d be damned if anyone thought they could tell her otherwise.

That didn’t mean he wouldn’t try later, when he had an opening. Right now, she was laughing with her friends, and he loved the sound too much to bring up their issues.

They herded into the couple of waiting oversized SUVs that were there to take them back to their hotel, but Jules alerted the driver that they were making an unscheduled stop. Once the driver heard the name of the place, he smirked and put the SUV in gear.

Ryan, crammed in the back beside West and Lo, dug out his phone and thumbed through some of the band’s Facebook posts about the show. His bandmates had already started the night’s social media onslaught.

“So, Den hopped in the other caravan? What’s that all about?”

Ryan didn’t look up from his cell. “She’s thick with Elle. Probably wanted girl time.”

“She’s thick with me too,” Lo protested from West’s other side. “I think. Unless that means something sexual I don’t realize, and if so, interesting.”

Ryan shook his head. “Dude, you are so not teaching her everything you should.”

“Oh, he’s taught me plenty. Why, just last night, we—”

Ryan held up a hand. “Save it for the chicks. I don’t need any more pictures in my head, thanks.”

“We are going to a sex shop, you know,” Jules reminded him from the bench in front of them, snuggling against Randy’s side. As part of the tech crew, Randy was usually stuck working late after shows, but Ryan didn’t blame him for not wanting to miss this.

He would’ve felt the same if he wasn’t currently in hell.

“Sex shop doesn’t mean I want to hear about them having sex. I prefer the abstract there, if you don’t mind.”

“Really? Not me. I want all the details I can get.” While West laughed, Lo grabbed the back of the seat and leaned forward, sticking her head between Randy and Jules right as they leaned in for a kiss. “Hi. Since we’re all alone and private right now, I have some questions if you don’t mind? For the book,” she added when Randy just gawked at her.

He was a fairly introverted guy, in spite of what many would’ve seen as his wild, nontraditional, polygamous relationship, and Lo was…Lo. Completely unique in every way.

“You’re writing a book on sex?” Randy asked, stalling for time, Ryan was sure.

“On the female orgasm,” West supplied, as if he couldn’t be prouder. “Lo’s including lots of case studies. She won’t use your real name unless you want her to.”

“Oh darn. I was hoping I could refer my parents to check out page two-hundred-eleven.”

Jules giggled and slapped his leg. “See, it’s always the quiet ones. He has a great tongue.”

“Jules,” Randy muttered, sounding pained.

“Perfect. Just the kind of info I’m looking for.” Lauren cocked her head. “So, do you climax easiest from penetration or oral attention? And do you prefer just tongue action or tongue and fingers or tongue and toy?”

“Toy, fingers, and tongue,” Jules said seriously.

“Or maybe you prefer two cocks. Since you have two cocks at your disposal. That’s simply fascinating. I have to interview you.”

“I’m just going to sit over here and die,” Randy said under his breath. “Nobody mind me.”

West fell over on his side laughing, nearly crushing Lo. Not that she cared. Without missing a beat, she clambered over the seat to join Randy and Jules.

Ryan dragged West up to a sitting position by the back of his shirt. “She better not ask me any sex questions.”

“Did you grow a vagina when I wasn’t looking?” West cocked a brow. “I’m not even sure you’ve touched any recently.”

“You would be wrong.”

“Is that why you’ve been manstruating all night? Babe problems?”

Ryan kicked out his legs and shoved his phone in his pocket. “Not in the slightest.”

“If you want some tips, Lo and I have been trying some new stuff…”

Ryan flipped him off and stared out the window until West got the hint and started playing with his own phone. Lo was barraging Randy and Jules with questions, but Ryan tuned them out. Thankfully the ride to the shop was brief.

The building that housed the store was narrow and white, oddly reminiscent of a giant white phallus. That probably was just coincidental, since there was a strip mall beside it. At the top of a short flight of stairs was a purple door, and the display window was also framed by thick purple curtains. Velvet, naturally. All in all, it didn’t look like an adult shop. Even opening the door and stepping inside brought to mind a psychic’s parlor more than a place that sold dildos and whips.

Everything was gold and purple and luxe. Not cheap-looking in the slightest. His female bandmates’ heels clicked on the black-and-white tile floor as they rushed forward to check out the racks of lingerie. Mirrors were everywhere, offering too many views of his clenched jaw and hooded eyes.

He definitely looked like a guy who needed to get laid.

“Can I help you find anything, sir?” A petite redhead in a green jumpsuit held out a silver platter that contained several multicolored condoms, packets of flavored lube, and a few other interesting items that bore further investigation. “These are all complimentary samples. Feel free to try any you’d like. We also can show you to the full-sized items in the store available for purchase.”

“Thanks.” Feeling more than a little weird, he pocketed a couple of the condoms without checking the colors and nudged one of the lube packets. “Where would I find the full-sized bottle of this?”

“Near the anal exploration section. Over here...” She gave him a flirty smile. “Unless you’d rather I just show you a selection myself?”

The door opened and, as if by magic, the others arrived. Ryan didn’t have to glance over to know Denver would be leading the crew. That was her standard MO, and besides, it just fit his night. Perfect timing for her to stroll in while a cute redhead was holding out condoms and lube and offering to show him the anal products.

“Wait, what did you say?”

“I’ll go select a few of our most popular offerings.” She giggled and pointed to a deep purple settee. “Just wait over there with a glass of fizzy water and I’ll bring them right over and demonstrate some of their uses.”

“Demonstrate.” He had to be imagining she’d said that. Or it didn’t mean what his dazed mind was trying to insist.

What kind of place was this exactly?

The redhead grinned. “We have dolls.”

“Thanks, but he’ll pass,” Denver said, snatching Ryan’s hand. “I’m sure we can figure it out.”

She’d dragged him behind one of the heavy purple curtains into a more erotic part of the shop before he had a chance to register more than the dry heat of her palm clasping his fingers. She pushed him back into a column, narrowly missing a hanging display of handcuffs and other items used for restraint.

“Is this fun for you?” she asked, pushing his chest once more for good measure. “I tell you we shouldn’t do this again so you flirt with Lo and a freaking lube saleswoman? Have we really descended this far?”

Ryan tipped up her chin with a fingertip. “You’re jealous, Colorado. Positively green-eyed tonight.” He bent to murmur in her ear. “Gotta say I prefer those gorgeous brown eyes I can’t get out of my head.”

“Asshole.” But she didn’t deny his jealousy assertion, just shoved him again for good measure. Halfheartedly.

“For the record, I wasn’t flirting with Lo. She’s my best friend’s girl.”

“I thought I was your best friend.”

“I’m a gregarious guy, what can I say?” When her hands came up one more time, he seized them and brought them to his mouth. “You know West and Michael are important to me.”

“I do. And I’m just being a bitch and I don’t know why. I know you were just playing around with Lo. And just talking to that redhead, though she would’ve demonstrated how those anal beads worked herself if you’d only asked. Guaranteed.” The curl to Denver’s lip was impossibly sexy.

As was knowing she was all twisted up over them and didn’t know what to make of it. There might be hope for them yet.

Maybe. If he played his sex toys right.

“I wouldn’t have. There’s only one woman I want to use anal beads with.”

She rolled her eyes. “That may be the sweetest proposition I’ve ever gotten.”

“Yeah? Then try this on for size.” He nudged her hair away from her ear and licked her lobe. “I want to cuff you to my bed tonight at the hotel. A nice big bed where we can spread out and do everything we can think of to each other.”

Her throat rippled with her swallow. “What room do you have?”

His dick jerked against his zipper. “217. End of the hall.” When she didn’t respond, he wound a few strands of her hair around his fingers and gave them a light tug. “I’ll fill every part of you until you forget anything but how right it was. How right we were.”

“Ry.” She shut her eyes and took a shaky breath, but he didn’t move back. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t.”

“You’re not going to.” He gripped her chin and thumbed her soft lips apart. “I’m telling you I’m right here. That I’m not going anywhere if you just say the goddamn word. Just one.”

“You’re here for sex. Take that off the table and what?”

“We’re still friends. Just as we were before I saw these, full and beautiful and covered in only moonlight.” He traced his fingertips along the curve of her breast and she shuddered. “Sex is a bonus. An incredible one, but it doesn’t have a thing to do with our friendship. I give you my word.”

“Sex just makes it better.” The hope in her tone killed him in all the best ways.

“Yes.” He cupped her cheek. “So much better.”

Without caring where they were, he lowered his mouth to hers, stopping short of fusing their lips as his stupid phone went off again in his pocket. He took a breath and angled his head, about to try again, but the text alerts just wouldn’t stop. One after another rolled in and Denver narrowed her eyes.

Before he could block her, she reached down to yank his phone out of his pocket. He reached for her, grasping a handful of her shirt before she darted across the narrow room.

“Christ, Den, privacy much?”

But it was too late. She’d already gotten into his phone and was reading the texts. “Seriously?” she demanded, glaring at him. “You wonder why I grab your phone? I suspected you’d be doing this shit again. I didn’t believe that you’d sneak off all the time these past few months then just stop as if it’s no big deal.”

He tried to interject, but she wasn’t through.

“Most of the people who would be texting you are in this building right now, so there’s no fucking reason you—”

The curtain over the doorway swept open and a laughing Jules and Randy ducked inside, arm and arm. And stopped dead, staring back and forth between Ryan and Denver as if they’d interrupted a battle.

They had. One Ryan was doomed to lose, because she was right. He’d only entertained the idea of the poker game to try to win back her money. The last thing they needed was his debt to her between them—and okay, denting his pride—but he was riding a thin line. Not just when it came to her trusting him, but when it came to admitting he was in over his head.

“Sorry,” Jules said, nudging Randy’s belly. “We’ll just go back out there and look at the lingerie again.”

“You already picked out three teddies,” Randy said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“They’re having a moment.”

“No, we are not. This is just a little spat between friends. Means nothing at all.” The look Denver shot him was pure ice before she tossed his phone at him and ducked out through the curtain.

He started to chase after her, but Jules had a funny expression on her face. One that seemed an awful lot like suspicion.

“Just a little thing. You know how it is,” Ryan said, forcing a smile he so didn’t feel. “She’s probably PMSing,” he added, causing Jules to narrow her eyes into slits and Randy to cup her shoulder.

“You sure the little thing isn’t yours?”

Because Ryan wasn’t at all certain she wasn’t referring to his penis—and knowing Jules, that was exactly what she meant—he just shook his head.

When Jules and Randy turned to browse the offerings, Ryan snatched a pair of fur-lined handcuffs and a wand of anal beads off the wall. It wasn’t the most careful selection, but he had to hope one was as good as another.

If he even got to use them with her after this.

He chuckled with West and Lo over a few things, and browsed with Michael as he mused about his wife Chloe’s preferences. Molly and Elle were flipping through lingerie.

Denver was nowhere in sight.

On impulse, he stopped to grab a tube of lube and one more item and took the assortment up to the cashier. He truly didn’t know if he’d get to use them with her or if he was just wasting his money. But he wasn’t giving up on her or them.

Not yet. Maybe not ever.

Once his purchases were bagged and he was back in the SUV, he resisted the urge to text her. She knew what room he was staying in at the hotel. She was probably stewing in the other SUV parked up the street as she waited for a ride back to the bus, but he had hope she’d come around enough to at least talk to him. Preferably in his hotel room, where they could have some privacy. For conversation and hopefully more. So much more.

He’d give her some space.

For now.