Something wasn’t right.

It started the night he and Beau met Rachel and me at the Crown Tavern. The four of us had had a lot of fun, and Beau and Rachel hit it off, their shared quiet intensity shutting Gabe and I out enough that we felt free to kiss and flirt all night. He handled being around alcohol beautifully; making sure to keep an eye on our drinks when we went to the bathroom and giving all four of us a safe ride home. 

But then he wanted to do it again. 

And again.

I was trying very, very hard to be okay with it.

But then there was the other day, when he jumped off the second step of the porch. He’d landed with his fist in the air, but my heart was in my throat. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I shouted before I could stop myself. “Are you insane?”

He’d looked it. That was the thing. His eyes were lit with this unnatural light, and as we left for our date he’d driven way too fast along the winding road next to the creek. I’d tried like hell not to yell at him again, but when my hands started shaking, I’d exploded at him, demanding to know why he was putting us both at risk. “An adrenaline junkie is just another kind of junkie!” I’d shouted. 

He’d dropped me off early that night and set a new record for time going by before he called me again. “I shouldn’t have put you at risk like that,” he’d said softly. But even as I accepted his apology, I noticed he’d said nothing about risking himself. 

Now I was looking at my phone and wondering how I felt about the voicemail I’d just gotten from Rachel. “Hey Ever, I wanted to let you know that Beau and I were going out tonight. And, uh, the weird thing…is that Gabe is coming with us? Yeah, I know, but he says he’ll just hang out and be our designated driver, which is really nice and all, but I sort of feel weird about it. So if you’re around, swing by the tavern and hang out with us so he’s got someone with him, okay? We’re getting there around nine.”

I let my hand drop. “What the fuck are you doing, Gabe?” I muttered aloud. 

“How are you doing, Beverly?” the head nurse on the floor where I was doing my rotation called. “Everything okay?”

I shook my head to clear it. “Just fine!” I called, scurrying past her before I turned back and smiled sweetly. “It’s Everly, by the way. I know. My sister’s name is Abriella. My parents are allergic to consonants.”

She burst out laughing, which made me feel better about correcting her, but it didn’t do anything about the pit in my stomach that Gabe’s odd behavior had opened up. 

Without meaning to, I flashed back to the night he’d told me about his addictions. “It wasn’t my fault,” he’d claimed. 

I knew enough about recovery to know that taking responsibility was a huge part of it. If he didn’t feel responsible for using in the first place, then nothing was stopping him from falling victim to it again.

I shuddered and shoved that thought out of my mind. If he was using again, I’d know. 

Then again, my workload had been insane these past couple weeks. We’d only been able to snatch a few nights out together, and one of them we spent fighting over his risk-taking. 

I liked to think I’d know, but could I be certain?

That thought haunted me as I hurried through my rounds. I needed to know for certain that Gabe wasn’t using again. If he was, I needed to get him help. If he wasn’t, then I needed to find out what else was going on. My anxious mind raced through scenarios that made my hands shake so bad I nearly dropped a bedpan. If I didn’t do something to head off these nerves, I was going to have an attack. I could feel it.

That clinched it. My rotation ended at nine. If I raced home, I’d have enough time to change and put on one of Rachel’s fancy tops. Then I could head over to the Crown and figure out what the hell was going on with the man I loved.

I rolled up to the tavern feeling full of hope. Whatever was going on, I knew we were strong enough to get through it. Our connection was stronger than this. It was strong enough to withstand anything. I knew that.

That’s why I wasn’t suspicious when I walked in and spotted him by the bar, leaning in to the blonde girl sitting next to him. Sure, her hair was the most perfect shade of sunny blonde I had ever seen, and her turned-up nose made my huge schnoz look like an elephant’s trunk, but I wasn’t scared about her at all until I walked up to them without them noticing me.

Until I heard him say her name.

Noelle.

He was talking—closely, intimately—to Noelle. The girl he’d once loved enough to propose to. The beautiful pop star who’d snared his heart so thoroughly, their break-up had also broken up his band.

And he had no idea I was even in the room.