When Ross came back down from playing pool, he was kind of quiet.

Tom normally wouldn’t assume that he knew how someone felt, after spending so little time with them. It had been weeks since he’d met Ross, but he’d only spent, what, one night with him, and then dinner, and then a make out session in his office?

But he did feel like he could read Ross, like they’d clicked somehow, right from the start, and he knew that the quiet man now standing at his side wasn’t the Ross he knew. Ross wasn’t always grabbing attention, but he teased Tom, and he interacted with everyone, and he would have a small smile on his face as he listened to everyone else around him.

Right now, though, he looked like he wasn’t even really hearing what anyone was saying. He was standing next to Tom, his arm casually on the back of Tom’s chair, almost but not quite around his shoulders. But he wasn’t saying anything, just kind of nodding along, his green eyes far away.

Tom nudged him. “You all good?”

Ross nodded and smiled, but the action didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Yeah, I’m all good. How’re you doing? Tired?”

“I’ll be ready to go soon.” Tom was feeling fine, even with his leg—who knew that just sitting around with a broken limb could be so damn tiring—but he suspected that Ross, for whatever reason, needed to head out.

Tom looked over at Adam, raising his eyebrows as if to ask what was up. Adam just shrugged as if to say that he had no idea either.

“How about we start saying our goodbyes?” Tom asked.

It was a very … couple thing for him to say, and he had to remind himself again that this was a casual thing. It was hard to remember that, though, when he seemed to suddenly be the only person that Ross was talking to, and they were surrounded by couples.

It was easy to think of all the reasons why he shouldn’t get into a relationship when he was in his office and focusing on practicality.

But when he had Matthew pointing things out to him, and he was feeling protective of Ross, it was harder to remember all those reasons. He just was thinking about how it would be if he could take Ross home, and pop in some movie that would put Ross in a better mood, and they could just watch it and cuddle and…

Yeah. He was definitely in trouble.

“You want to go?” he asked Ross. He was suddenly feeling like he needed to get away himself.

Ross nodded, looking relieved. They said their goodbyes, he joked with Adam about seeing him on Monday, and then Ross helped him to the car.

“You want to tell me what’s up?” Tom asked as Ross started the car.

“I’m that obvious, am I?” Ross replied, giving a wry smile.

Tom shrugged. “You went upstairs with one attitude and came back down with another one. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist.”

Ross snorted. “I had another attitude for a whole year, and nobody noticed enough to call me out on it.”

Well, that was bitter. “I’m sensing there’s a big story behind that.”

Ross sighed. “It was pointed out to me that I should … accept the fact that I like being around you, and that putting you in a position of hey, let’s do some casual sort of dating thing was unfair to you.”

Tom didn’t say anything. He’d encouraged the whole casual thing, but he wasn’t going to point that out right now, not when Ross was leading up to something.

“I want a relationship with you,” Ross admitted. “And I’ve been holding myself back about it ever since I met you. Even though looking at you was like getting slapped in the face—and I mean that in a good way—I told you I didn’t do relationships and I meant it, and I told you we could do casual and I tried to mean it … because the last time I was in a relationship it went sideways. And I mean really sideways.

“But I couldn’t get into a relationship with you, or anyone, without explaining the whole—thing—that happened, and I didn’t—I don’t—I’m not sure how to talk about it. I haven’t talked about it, with anybody.”

“You don’t have to tell me, if you don’t want to,” Tom said, although of course his mind was racing with all the possibilities. It had to be a broken heart of some kind, right?

He meant it, though. As curious as he was, it wasn’t his right to know anything about Ross that the other man wasn’t ready to tell him.

Ross shook his head. “No, I should tell somebody. And it’s kind of nice to tell you. You haven’t known me for years, the way everyone else has. The people who’ve known you all your life, sometimes … it’s harder to tell them. Just because there’s so much history between you, and you don’t want them to be disappointed in you. It’s easier to tell someone who doesn’t know you, in a way.”

“I think that’s why we end up confessing to strangers on the internet,” Tom noted.

Ross smirked. “Fair point.” He took a deep breath. “Look, about a year ago, I met this guy. He was a journalist, worked for tabloids and things like that, but he always talked about wanting to do serious investigative work.”

“I should’ve known that he was lying about that part. He never once tried to pursue an actual investigation or any kind of real story. I’m kind of trotted out, I guess you could say, to a lot of charity events and stuff the hospital has. The board likes to have me be there to talk to donors, that sort of thing.”

“Hmm, wouldn’t have anything to do with you being super attractive and a really good surgeon, would it?” Tom mused, winking at him.

Ross rolled his eyes, but Tom could see him blushing. “Yeah, yeah, butter me up. Point is, I meet a lot of rich and powerful people that way. The mayor once, even. So, you know, Jeremy would always want me to bring him, and he would always want me to find out all this personal stuff about them.

“That should have been a clue … and honestly, looking back, there are so many things about him that should’ve made me pause and go huh, that’s not right. Like how quickly he wanted to know everything about me. How fast he wanted me to move in with him, how he knew my schedule, always demanded to know where I was.

“But I thought it was romantic. I hadn’t really had time for anything more than some casual dating that didn’t go anywhere. Jeremy’s charismatic; he’s good at getting you to think he cares. He talks to you, it’s like you’re the only person in the room.

“When it was all moving fast, I thought that’s how love works. It’s supposed to move fast, you’re supposed to have a kind of tunnel vision about each other.

“It’s stupid, looking back on it. I had tons of good examples around me, like Luke and Adam, showing me that it’s important to go slow sometimes too.

“I know they look all lovey-dovey but—and I’m sure you’ve noticed this—it took them forever to get married. Matthew only just proposed to Jake. The only reason Travis and Lance moved in together so soon was because of the fire, and Davis and Paul still don’t live together, as far as I know. Although I think they’re talking about it.

“Point is, there’s a difference between rushing into love and having some things happen naturally and fall into place, and I didn’t know the difference. I thought it was flattering that Jeremy wanted to know so much, and that he wanted our lives to be intertwined like that.

“But it got to be too much after a while. He got really controlling. And I felt like he was using me, especially with the whole gala, charity ball thing. He would always accuse me of not supporting him, and not spending enough time with him.

“And I thought, well, I am pretty busy at my job, I should do better. I am in the wrong here. I need to make it up to him.

“But then my mom got sick. Late stage cancer. We tried everything, of course we did, and I was consulting everyone that I knew and asking them to consult everyone that they knew, but…” Ross shook his head, his face tight and sad. “Yeah. Some things just aren’t meant to be, I guess.

“I regret being with Jeremy at all. I regret letting him walk all over me. But what I regret about it most is that it took me away from my mom. Jeremy was always making me feel guilty for not spending time with him. And of course my mom was always telling me not to worry about her, and to go spend time with him. She didn’t want me to be depressed sitting next to her in the hospital all the time.

“So I didn’t spend nearly as much time with her as I wanted to. Or as I should have. I was out at some party with Jeremy when I heard that it was the end.

“I raced over to see her and I got there in time, thank God, but I should have already been there. She died ten minutes after I got to her, and I should’ve been by her side hours before.

“We had a big falling out. It was like … her death opened my eyes to how I was letting Jeremy control my life. I was letting myself be bullied, letting my whole personality and what I was doing be controlled by another person, and I hated it.

“He got really venomous at the end there. Said some really shitty things. But it showed me what he was really like.

“I just think that I’ll always regret not being there for my mom more. I should have just spent some more time with her. Appreciated her more. While I could.

“That’s why I said that I don’t do relationships. After Jeremy, I didn’t want to risk it. He seemed like the dream guy at first. And I know that Adam would never hire someone who was like Jeremy, but you never know, right? Sometimes a toxic person can do a really good job of hiding who they are. How you are in the bedroom is different from how you are at work and in public.

“So, I just kept things light. One-night stands. But I liked you right away. Like … damn. And I just keep wanting to get to know you better.

“And so I think, with you, I want to try again. And I know that’s a lot of responsibility I’m putting on your shoulders. Jeremy wasn’t—it’s not like I’m asking you to jump right into a serious relationship with me. I don’t want to rush into anything the way that I did with him.

“But I’d like to state, officially, that I like you and want to be in an exclusive relationship with you, and I’d like to see where it goes. Because I feel more comfortable with you than I do with most people, and I just find myself always wanting more. I miss you when you’re not around.

“We can go as slow as you want. And I know that you have a big time commitment to your job, and my hours are all over the place, and scheduling is going to be a bitch. But Lance and Travis and … damn, even Preston, they convinced me that if you made me happy, I should say so, and I should go for it. But doing that meant I had to explain why I might have some hang-ups, so, there it is.”

Tom drew in a shaky breath. That hadn’t been at all what he’d expected. He’d thought that maybe it was a boyfriend who’d left Ross for another guy, or who’d moved out of the country, or something. He hadn’t known it would be something that awful.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I know it’s a lame thing to say, but it’s honestly the first thing that comes to mind, and I don’t know how to say it any better. Just. Wow. I’m sorry about your mom, and I’m glad you got to say goodbye to her. And I’m sorry you had to go through that relationship.”

Ross shrugged, clearly trying to play it off. “I mean, I learned a lot from it, if nothing else. I learned to stand up to people, even if I love them. And I learned not to let someone control me like that.”

“Doesn’t mean that it sucked any less,” Tom replied gently.

Ross nodded. Tom reached across, putting his hand on Ross’s knee. “Hey,” he said softly. “Whatever you want, I’m okay with. You’re in control here. You can tell me what you’re comfortable with. And I’ll listen to that.”

Some of the tension leaked out of Ross’s shoulders, and he gave a small, grateful smile. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Tom gently squeezed Ross’s knee and then let go, moving his hand away. “I admit it’s a lot to process.”

“It’s okay if you need some time to think,” Ross said. “I know you wanted things casual. With your job and all.”

“Yeah, I did,” Tom admitted. “But then Matthew pointed out to me that my job’s not going to get any more relaxing, or any less demanding on my time. Not unless I switch careers or something. And if my job isn’t going to change, then there’s never going to be a right time, or an easier time, for me to start a relationship with someone.

“So, if I like you and I want to have a proper relationship with you … I should do that. And learn how to make something other than my job a priority for once. Which’ll send Adam into fits of euphoria, I’m sure.”

Ross snorted in amusement. “Fair enough.” He glanced over at Tom, a kind of hopeful light in his eyes. “So. You want to go for this? Give a relationship an honest try?”

Tom nodded. “I knew something was up,” he added. “I knew there was something that you were holding back from me. I didn’t think you were a serial killer or anything, but I wasn’t sure what was going on with you, and so I appreciate you telling me. Because now I feel… prepared, if that makes sense. Part of why I was unsure about this was that I was unsure what it was you weren’t showing me.”

“Well, now you know,” Ross replied. “And I hope that you won’t start treating me with kid gloves from now on.”

“I’ll treat you just the same,” Tom assured him. He wouldn’t want to be treated differently either, if he went through something like that. He’d want the people with whom he was close to be aware of it, yeah, but not to be extra careful around him or anything because of it. “You should tell the others, at some point.”

“I know.” Ross sighed. “I just haven’t figured out how or when yet.”

“You could just write a mass email or something.”

Ross chuckled. “Yeah, that’d definitely make a splash. Are you trying to get all of them to throttle me?”

“Nah, just trying to get you to laugh. And it worked, didn’t it?”

Ross glanced at him, a look that might even be called wonder on his face. “Yeah. Yeah, you did.”

Tom sat back in his seat, grinning, warmth spreading through him.

He had a boyfriend now. A boyfriend who told him the truth and opened up to him and trusted him, a boyfriend he could tease and reassure, make laugh and smile.

It was a pretty damn good thing to have.