There was no warm-up to his kiss. No light touch of his lips to see if I would accept them, no delicate trail along my jaw. Immediately, his lips were hot and urgent against my own. At first, I stiffened in response, my back going rigid in shock, but it only took a moment before my body became liquid against him, my mind surrendering to the pleasure of his lips dancing against my own.

As Maddock’s tongue flickered into my mouth—a testing, teasing gesture that invited me to play with him—I responded in kind.

He kissed me for longer than was necessary—I heard Dillon turn around and head back up the stairs shortly after he saw the two of us—but I made no effort to pull away. My body was too alive, my mind too sludgy to do anything other than surrender to how good it felt to kiss him.

He was lost in it, too. He held me so close against him, I could feel the need balled up tight throughout every muscle in his body. His breath was shaky and rough, his lips heavy and urgent. It was only once his hands began to roam up and down my body that he seemed to remember what he was doing and why. When he finally did pull away, he looked as swept up as I felt.

He glanced around the room uncomfortably. “I….” He let out a shaky breath and gave me a gentle smile. “I think it worked, lass. He’s gone. Best ye go to him. Tell him whatever will make him see that ye meant every word ye said to him before. If ye need to use me, I’ll go along with whatever ye tell him.”

If not for the support of the kitchen island behind me, I would’ve fallen over when he stepped away. I turned to my right to see Sydney gaping at us with her mouth and eyes wide open.

Unsure of what to say to any of them, I simply nodded in acknowledgment of Maddock’s suggestion and awkwardly scooted past a perplexed-looking Callum on the stairs as I made my way up to find Dillon.

I didn’t have to look far. He was sitting on the grand entrance stairway, with his face in his hands as I approached.

He glanced up and looked at me with weary eyes. “Is he the reason you ended things?” He lifted his head and pointed toward the kitchen. “Is that why you came to Scotland?”

“What?” I shook my head as I moved to sit next to him. “Of course it’s not. Do you really think I’d cheat on you?”

He sighed and shifted so that he faced me. “No, I don’t. How long have you known him?”

I glanced over at the grandfather clock near the entryway. “All of nine hours.”

He shook his head in disbelief. “I guess I deserve this.” He reached out to grab my hand as tears filled his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry, Kate. I haven’t been able to eat, haven’t been able to sleep since you left my place that night. You have to know…I didn’t mean it. What I said…”

He paused and let out a loud sob that startled me so much I jumped. I’d never seen him cry before.

He bent until his head was all the way in my lap, and he cried as he spoke. “I truly didn’t mean it. Please, Kate. Please forgive me. I can’t live with myself knowing I said something so cruel to you. Knowing that you think I truly believe that. Of course, he wants you. God, any man with half a brain cell would want you. I was just hurt, Kate. Really, really hurt.”

I believed him. Even though his words hurt me so much in that moment, none of them had sounded like him. And there was no way this apology was disingenuous.

Giving him a gentle push with my hand, I waited until he raised his head from my lap. “I know that, Dillon. I forgive you. But it doesn’t change anything.”

He nodded sadly. “I know.”

I dropped my hand and tilted my head in confusion. “Then what are you doing here? Why come all this way?”

He smiled for the first time. “Well, I couldn’t really tell you how sorry I was, could I? You would never answer your phone. I’ll admit that when your mother first called me, I thought maybe I had a chance. She seemed to think I did, but after several weeks of my calls being sent to your voicemail, I knew my chances were slim. I still needed to say I was sorry.”

Once again, my tendency to avoid had caused problems. If only I’d answered the phone, I could’ve heard his apology and kept him from flying halfway across the world.

“I’m sorry I made you come all the way here to tell me that.”

He shook his head and stood, offering me his hand so he could help pull me up. “I’m not.”

“Really? Why not?”

“I didn’t like seeing you kissing another man. I can’t deny that, but watching that kiss made me realize something—you never, not once, kissed me the way you kissed him.”

I jerked uncomfortably as I looked up at him. “I didn’t kiss him any way, Dillon. He kissed me.”

He smiled and looked at me beneath his brows. “Come on, Kate. That was a kiss. A real kiss. It doesn’t matter who kissed whom. That doesn’t have anything to do with it. I only meant that I realized two things in that moment. One—I’m not the man for you. You need someone that can bring about that much abandon in you. Two—maybe that’s something I want for myself. Maybe I want someone who wants me as much as you seemed to want his kiss.”

His insight hit a little too close to home for me, but I didn’t have the energy to analyze precisely why. Instead, I just leaned in to wrap my arm around him in a hug.

“You deserve that, Dillon. I hope you find it very soon.”

He kissed the top of my head before stepping away. “Me too, Kate. Take care of yourself, okay?”

I walked him to his car, and as I watched him pull away from Cagair Castle, I felt free of a burden I hadn’t known I’d been carrying.

Now, I just needed to deal with my mother.

---

I made sure to knock on the door this time. I was quite certain I would never open another closed door again without knocking. When my mother opened the door, she was already dressed, with her hair perfectly curled and her bangs pinned back so she could apply her makeup. She smiled guiltily and laughed.

“I’m sure that was quite a shock for you. I really am sorry. That’s not at all how either of us wanted you to find out.”

“I cannot freaking believe you. I’m not sure I’ve ever been so angry at you in my whole life.”

Her expression immediately changed from one of sorry-not-sorry to confusion. She crossed her arms defensively.

“Look, Kate. I can understand you being a little taken aback, but you have no right to be angry about this. David and I are both grown. It’s our business if we decide to spend time with one another.”

I shook my head at the irony. “You think I’m angry about David?”

She nodded and I sighed in exasperation. “You really don’t have any idea how hypocritical you are, do you, Mom? Of course, I’m not angry about David. I love David. Do I wish I hadn’t walked in on the two of you naked? Definitely. But I think you’re lucky to have him. David’s great. What I’m angry about is why you can so easily see the need for you to have some privacy when it comes to your love life, but you don’t see any need to give your daughters the same courtesy.”

She let out a loud breath and uncrossed her arms as she nodded knowingly. “You mean Dillon.”

“Of course, I mean Dillon. He showed up here this morning, thanks to you.”

“Darling…”

I cut her off by screaming. I hated it when she called me darling.

“No! Don’t call me darling. This is not okay. Not at all. Do you know what upsets me the most? I don’t blame you for liking Dillon. But this wasn’t about you and your opinion of him. You don’t trust my judgment. You don’t trust me to make my own decisions.”

She walked past me to sit on the edge of the bed. “I haven’t always felt that way, Kate. I used to trust you completely.”

I clenched my teeth together in preparation for what I knew was coming. She’d never said the words out loud before, but I’d felt them in so many of her actions. “Oh yeah? And what happened to make you lose that trust?”

“Sweetheart, it’s not your fault. But you know as well as I do that you haven’t been yourself since the fire. I don’t know how you can be sure of any decision that you make until you get back to being yourself.”

There it was. The exact thing I always suspected she believed. That the person I was before would someday come back—and that she liked that version of me a whole lot more.

I couldn’t even bring myself to be angry with her. It just made me feel sad and wholly inadequate. I could never give her what she wanted.

“Mom, I am myself. My new self. That old me that you used to know—I’m not hiding her anywhere. She just simply doesn’t exist anymore. I’ve changed, and frankly, I like who I am now. I know I still have things I need to work on, but doesn’t everyone? Do you really think you’d be able to go through what I did and come out on the other side exactly the same as you are now?”

When she said nothing, I continued. “I like the person I am today. I just wish you did, too.”

I turned away and walked toward the door.

“Kate…where are you going?”

“Away from you. I need time alone. I’m going to speak to Maddock and see if we can leave tomorrow instead of today. I’m too angry with you right now to ride next to you all day.”

She tried to say something as I walked away, but I was in no mood to stop and listen.