Why does it hurt so badly?

I'm leaning against the wall on the fourth floor, waiting for Peter to leave. All I can think about is that kiss. He held her so tightly...and she reciprocated.

Every minute detail is painfully burned into my brain. Their closed eyes. The intensity with which Peter kissed her. The way the muscles in Willow's face relaxed when the shock began to wear off.

At least, he didn't go inside with her. Because if she had invited him in, I'm sure that they would have...

My phone rings, and I glance at the screen to see Peter's name flash across it. I draw the phone up to my ear, my lack of enthusiasm making it to my voice. “Hello.”

“Hey. I'm in the neighborhood. Meet me down the street at the bar, punk.” He sounds unnaturally peppy. Of course, he does. He's one step closer to hitting all of the bases with Willow.

I groan. “I just got over my hangover. Alcohol is the last thing I want.”

“Then drink water. I want to talk to you about some things.”

“Can't we talk over the phone?” I shift my weight, just wanting to go home and sleep my misery away.

“Stop being a little bitch. I'll expect you at The Fox and The Hound in ten,” he says and then hangs up on me.

“Asshole,” I curse at the phone, not wanting to go but knowing that I'll drag myself anyway.

That's one thing that both he and Willow have in common. They don't take no for an answer.

I drive down the street to the bar and find Peter already waiting for me at a booth inside. He has a beer curled in his hand. For a moment, I wonder how he could possibly want to drink. But then I remember that he didn't get to drink much last night because of what happened at Advanced Data Solutions.

“I hate you right now,” I tell him as I flag down a waitress to bring me some water.

“I'm not surprised.” He glances up at me from his beer. All of the happiness in his voice from earlier is gone.

“What did you want to talk about?” I slump back against the booth, trying to show him that I'm not in the mood for an all-nighter.

“Do you like Willow?”

The question comes out of left field and it causes my heart to freeze in my chest. My mouth falls agape, but no words come out. He's staring at me so intently, waiting for my answer.

When I don't speak for several seconds, he continues, “Your expression says it all.” He looks down at his beer and starts peeling the label off of it.

I avert my gaze, disappointed in myself for not being quick-witted enough to come up with a lie on the spot.

“You know, I saw you last night,” he tells me.

“Saw me?” I furrow my brow in confusion.

“In the bedroom.” He tilts his head to the side as if he doesn't want to say it.

“I was taking care of her.” Damn, I can't force myself to look at him right now. That was only a half-truth.

“With your mouth,” he adds.

I cringe internally, feeling so much guilt that I fear I might die from it.

“I saw you kiss my girlfriend,” he says as if the last part didn't make that perfectly clear.

“Fine,” I sigh, “I like her.”

“Why now?” He narrows his gaze but he doesn't look angry. “Why not until after we got together? I mean, did you like her before?”

“I don't know. I don't think so.” I tear my hand through my hair.

He leans back and nods to himself. “Ah. So that's what it is?”

“What?” I look at him finally.

“You just want her because she's with me now. That's all that this is.”

That's not what it is. But if he's willing to lie to himself for me, I'll take it.

“I'm going to be completely honest with you.” Peter picks up his beer and takes a sip. “When I first told Willow that I wanted to date her, I thought I'd get sick of her pretty quickly. You know how I am.”

Just hearing him say it makes the hair on the back of my neck bristle. That he would knowingly use and discard such a beautiful soul. But I had known that when they had gotten together—had figured that's what would probably happen.

“But the more time I've spent with her,” he continues, “the more I'm beginning to feel. I can honestly say that I've never felt this much for a girl so quickly. It scares me a little. The thought of losing her...” his voice trails off for a moment before he locks his gaze with mine. “I'm not going to lose her. So whatever you're feeling, you need to get over it.”

I hold my hand up to him, annoyed by the conversation. “I get it. She's your girlfriend—”

“And you're my friend,” he cuts me off. “You're both very important to me. I don't want to lose either of you over this.”

“I understand.” I nod. “I don't want our friendship to get fucked up over this either.”

“Good. Then we both agree.” He smiles. “No more kissing my girlfriend.”

* * *

That went way better than I could have imagined. Peter handled the situation with tact. I'm not sure I would have done the same if the roles had been reversed. I'd like to think that I would have, but I have a tendency to get hot-headed sometimes.

Whatever the case, the cat is out of the bag now. Spending time with Peter and Willow together is going to be awkward from here on out, so I'd rather not do it. While I don't want my friendship with Willow to end, I'm starting to think it's just better to let it go. It's a bit ironic that she was the one who didn't want to be friends with me originally. She wanted nothing more than to be rid of me, and all I wanted was for her to forgive me and let me back into her life. Now here I am, ready to walk away from it all.

My conscience feels a bit clearer as I return to my apartment. My misdeed has been forgiven. Now all I have to do is keep my distance from them, and everything should be fine.

Only a second after I open the door to my apartment, the door to Willow's unit opens behind me. All of my energy evaporates as I realize I'll have to face her.

“Caleb,” she says my name with more excitement than I can handle. I know she wants to talk about the kiss.

“Get back, Max.” I try to force him back with my foot.

“Caleb.”

I can hear the padding of Willow's footsteps as she walks across the hall to me.

“Willow, I'm tired.” I turn to her finally.

The smile she was wearing fades. “And in a bad mood, apparently.”

“It's been a long day.” I shut the door so that I don't have to fight with Max anymore and lean against it to show my exhaustion.

“It's been a long day for me, too. I'm still hungover even.” She gives me a look that suggests I'm being thoughtless. I'm not. If anything, getting away from her as quickly as possible is the most thoughtful thing I can do right now.

“Then you should go to bed.” I listen to Max whining at the door. It's grating on my nerves like his claws are grating against the wood.

“But I have so much to tell you.” Excitement takes over her expression again.

“I can't, Willow.” I hold my palm up to stop her mouth from erupting into details about the kiss.

“What's your problem?” She sinks back slightly. “You've been so moody lately.”

“I've just been busy.” I sigh.

“With what? You never want to talk to me anymore. You don't seem to want to hang out.” She taps her foot for a moment before her eyes get a mischievous gleam to them. “Wait... Are you seeing someone?”

Perfect. Whatever. I'll run with it.

“Yeah. And she's super jealous. She doesn't like me hanging out with other girls, so we're not going to be able to hang out anymore.” I cross my arms over my chest.

Willow wrinkles her nose. “That's awfully possessive. It must drive her nuts that you have female clients.”

“Bonkers.” I toss my gaze to the ceiling for emphasis.

Instead of being disappointed with this tidbit of news, Willow seems really happy for me. “Tell me all about her. Where did you meet her? What does she look like? Why didn't you bring her to Peter's party?” she bombards me with questions.

My mouth falls agape as I search for answers. Man, I'm really not good at this lying shit. Or maybe I'm just brain dead today. I can't really tell anymore.

“That's none of your business.” I fold my arms over my chest.

She huffs at me. “Fine. Geez. I told you everything that went on with Peter. I don't know why you're being so secretive.”

“Some people like talking about all of their shit; some people don't.” I give her the cold shoulder.

“Well.” Willow takes a step back, retreating towards her apartment. “I hope she makes you happy.”

“Yeah. Thanks.” I open the door and push my way past Max to get inside.

The last I see of Willow is her frowning, looking dejected. I feel bad because I know I hurt her feelings again, but this is for the best for all of us. Hopefully she'll understand someday.