I’m not sure what time it is or what has woken me up. Slowly I open my eyes and take in the dimly lit room without actually moving my head, since my neck feels like one big knot. “Without You” is still playing. I’d been feeling the weight of missing Frankie in a big way yesterday and had put it on repeat…guess I fell asleep before turning it off.
I’m sitting in my usual chair with one of my hands tucked underneath Frankie’s thigh, my head resting practically in her lap and my other hand loosely holding hers, which is how I find myself waking up most days. Any way that I can touch her, even in sleep, I’m taking it. If I weren’t so damn big and afraid of hurting her, I’d climb into the bed next to her.
I take a deep breath and let my eyes start to drift shut again, when I feel a soft touch like fingers running through my hair. I slowly raise my head, not willing to believe after ten long days that she might actually be awake, and turn to look at the head of the bed. My girl is there, blue eyes open, the most beautiful fucking sight I have ever seen. I squeeze my eyes shut and put my head back down in her lap as the guttural sob rips through me, tears that I hadn’t allowed myself to cry streaming down my face and onto the blanket, my shoulders shaking. I feel her soothing me with her gentle touch on my head. My body still trembling beneath the weight of my emotions, I start to gather her and everything on the bed into me, bringing the Princess closer, but stop myself before I can hurt her or dislodge anything.
It all came crashing down on me at once the moment I saw those blues, the ones I’d been afraid I would never see again. All of the rage that had been consuming me, the absolute terror at the possibility that she might not come back to me. It was all coming to the surface and spilling over. It takes everything I have to pull it together and look at her again, to accept the reality that she’s here. My girl is awake and she is taking care of me while she lies in the ICU. Typical.
Taking a deep breath, I face Frankie and take her in. Her bruises have faded to angry shades of purple and green with some yellow and blue thrown in for good measure. The cuts all over her body are finally starting to heal, although a plastic surgeon did have to stitch a few closed because of how deep they were. For once I have no idea what to say to her. I’m so relieved I’m literally speechless.
“Princess—” My voice cracks, my chin hits my chest, as I take in another shaky breath. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Fucking hell, I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am to see those beautiful blues eyes, baby. So fucking happy.”
The tears are forming again but there is nothing I can do about it. I shake my head and bring her hand up to my mouth and kiss my spot on the inside of her wrist. She reaches out and touches my still beat-up face and split brow, concern in her eyes. Frankie opens her mouth to speak but nothing comes out. She struggles to swallow past what I’m sure is the worst case of cotton mouth ever. I reach past her to grab the pitcher of water on the tray table and pour her some, still not letting go of her.
Bringing the straw to her mouth I tell her, “Slow, small sips. I’m not sure if you should even have any of this right now. I need to call for the nurse.”
She nods her understanding as she takes a small sip and finally speaks.
“How long have I been here? How long have you been here?”
Her voice is even raspier than usual, but it doesn’t matter as long as she’s talking. I grab for the call button hanging from the bed and press it, summoning the nurse.
Instead of answering her question, I ask one of my own.
“Do you know who I am, Frankie?”
I don’t know why that is so important to me right now, but it’s something that I have worried about. You see it in the movies all of the fucking time. Person gets in accident, wakes up from coma, has no fucking clue who the poor asshole crying at their bedside is, no idea that it’s actually their person. And whether she knows it or not, or is ready for this, for us, I am her person and she is mine.
She gives a little rusty laugh, “Like I could ever forget who you are, Deacon.”
Her voice sounds so weak, it makes me nervous.
“I know that’s right.”
I wink at her and squeeze her hand, not letting my worry show.
“I—
Whatever she is about to say is interrupted by the nurse rushing in.
“Oh! Look who’s awake! Why, hello there, pretty girl. I’m Pam, your nurse for the next little while at least. Mary will be here soon and she is going to be thrilled to see that you have joined us. This one here has been giving her a hard time.” She tilts her head in my direction.
“I don’t doubt that for a minute. He can be a bit of a bully sometimes,” Frankie says while trying to smile at me. I can see that interacting is really starting to take its toll and that she won’t be awake for much longer.
“Only when it comes to my girl, Frankie. Gotta take care of you.”
“How cute is he? Now get out of here so that I can check out my patient. I’ll page Dr. Ashley now, and if it’s ok with Francesca, you can come back in when he gets here.”
Locking eyes with Frankie, I smile reassuringly, “I’ll be in the hall calling everyone. Your Pop and Indie will probably want up here.”
“Not tonight, Mr. Love. You can tell them she’s awake and that I’ll be able to let them up here no sooner than 7 a.m.”
I’m about to argue when she starts talking again.
“Mary lets you stay because you’re not coming and going during off hours. She would have to get clearance to let anyone up here in the middle of the night. I wouldn’t push my luck with her or she might revoke your slumber party rights.”
The nurse is talking to me, but I’m not paying much attention, instead I’m watching her work on Frankie. I catch a flinch of pain, which puts me on edge and causes that muscle in my jaw to start dancing.
“Careful with her, Nurse Ratchet,” I say in as playful a voice as I can, because I’m really not fucking playing.
With closed eyes, nearly asleep, Frankie says, “Get out of here, Deac, and let her be. She’s being very gentle.” I can barely hear her now, Frankie’s voice is so low.
“I’m going. I’ll be right outside the door here waiting for Dr. Ashley and making my calls.”
As I’m leaving, I look back just as the nurse is pulling the curtain to give her privacy, and the look on my girl’s face about does me in. She looks sad and lost, tired and scared, just broken inside and out, and I hate it.
She is so strong and confident in everything she does, and to see her like this makes my fucking heart hurt.
“Hey, Princess!”
Frankie’s eyes open slowly, her brows raised in question.
“I’m here, okay? Everything is going to be all right. I got you, Frankie. Always.”
She gives me a watery smile and nods her head in agreement, the braids and barrette that Indie put in her hair making her look incredibly young, which only add to her air of vulnerability.