Chapter Twenty-one
It took more than four days to reach Bath, and Cyrus was tired of traveling. It might have been enjoyable if he wasn’t feeling so miserable about his rash decision. He had hoped that by being far away from Kaitlyn, he could come to his senses. Yet she constantly filled his thoughts. Although he saw so many things he’d never dreamed of seeing, it wasn’t nearly as fun as it had been when he could share it with Kaitlyn or Jem. The old buildings he passed by in all the different towns fascinated him. He happened upon an old cathedral being reworked on the outside, with the old scaffolding made of thin logs and ropes instead of the strong metal framework of his own time. And the men working the buildings had basic tools and materials, yet they managed to do amazing things.
Bath itself was fascinating, but his mind kept going back to when he’d been there with Kaitlyn, when she searched for all the places Jane Austen had frequented when she’d lived there before.
He sat at the table in the common room of the inn where they were staying, watching the other guests but not really seeing them. When William sat down in front of him, it took Cyrus a moment to register the man was there.
“Did you get your business done?” Cyrus asked.
“Some of it. I’m afraid we won’t be able to leave tomorrow like I thought.”
Cyrus didn’t reply other than to nod. It was his own fault he was in this predicament, so he couldn’t blame William for the delay.
They’d gone on horses instead of the carriage. While it gave him a lot more freedom and movement, it wasn’t all that comfortable. They’d had to stop and rest the horses often, and William took them to four homes where travelers like himself had decided to stay. They were all women and the thought worried him. When he’d asked William about it, the man only shrugged.
“There have only been a few men who’ve traveled before. Usually it is single women, although occasionally a couple girls come together. Your arrival with five was unheard of.”
“How often do people come?” Cyrus asked. “Every month?”
“Oh no,” William said. “A couple times a year, maximum.”
“How often do people choose to stay?”
“Not too many do. But you never know when it comes to matters of the heart. For many, they have traveled from a time or situation that wasn’t as good as what they could have here. For your group, you have a lot to look forward to when you return. I have known some who come from the future and stay here for love.”
“Are they happy here?” Cyrus asked.
“You tell me,” William said. “You’ve met a few of them already. And none seem to want to give it up and go back home. They have found peace and contentment here. Our time doesn’t have as much to offer in some ways, yet there is something undeniably wonderful about this world right now.”
Cyrus nodded. If he didn’t know what he’d miss back home if he stayed here, this world did have a strong appeal. He could picture himself owning some land. He would farm it and raise horses while building a family. But he would only want it with Kaitlyn. Yet if she stayed here, it wouldn’t be for him. She had a much better option with Jack, who was obviously interested in her.
And the idiot that he was, he had run away because he was too frustrated at seeing her flirt with Jack. Without staying to make sure she didn’t fall for the baronet, he could very possibly lose her.
They still had another day for William to take care of some business in Bath before they could journey back to Twickenham manor along another route. William had more homes and travelers to check up on, but they should get back by Tuesday night at the latest. He could handle that long. And it would give him around a week before the full moon that could send them back to their time.
He had wasted too much time already. He had to let Kaitlyn know how he felt about her. To make sure she knew there could be an option for her back home if she wanted it. He prayed she would want it.
Seeing the way the women they’d visited each loved the life they’d chosen, he promised himself that if Kaitlyn decided to stay, he would do his best to respect her decision. At least he hoped he could be man enough to let her go if she chose someone else.
***
Two days later, he was still more than seventy miles away from Twickenham. In his own time, he could have been there in an hour. Instead, it would take at least two more days of constant travel. When he saw William writing a letter, Cyrus asked for some paper and a quill, hoping to figure something out.
Dear Kaitlyn,
I don’t even know if I’ll send this letter to you, but I have to write it. I wish so much that I dared to tell you to your face how I feel. How I’ve been feeling for the last few weeks. No, even longer. There’s been so many opportunities for me to talk to you, but I guess I’m just a coward. I don’t want to know if you’d tell me no. It’s just easier being your friend and always having you in my life than it is to put myself out there and run the risk of you not returning my feelings.
I…
Cyrus paused, wondering what he could say. He wanted to crumple the paper, but knew it was wasteful. He couldn’t express on paper what he didn’t even know how to say in person. He just allowed himself to write, hoping it would help him clear his mind. As the words flowed, he found himself describing the different things they had done together, the hopes and dreams she had shared with him over the years.
I miss you and wish I’d have never left your side, even though you only see me as a brother type of person. You might not believe this, given that I can never respond intelligently, but I’ve listened to everything you’ve said. I remember all your expressions and I love every one of them. The little twinkle in your eyes as you tell a story. The way your nose scrunches up in that adorable way when you try not to laugh. I love the way you are so good with people. I wish I could have even a fraction of your skills with people, but I’m always in awe of how you put everyone at ease.
I love the excitement you’ve shown while you’ve been here in these unbelievable circumstances. And you even calmed me down and helped me see the beauty and magic of this place and time.
He wrote of her kind heart and patient personality. He described all the ways she brightened the room and made others feel comfortable no matter the situation. Although he didn’t want to focus only on her beauty, he wrote of her deep and intelligent eyes and her contagious smile.
Cyrus put his hands over his face, cussing himself again for leaving Kaitlyn because it was easier on him in the moment. If he was any kind of a man, he would have stayed there. Faced her and told her how he felt and accepted her response. If she wanted someone like Jack Hughes Von Maughanhoe and the chance to change the world from the past, he would honor that decision.
He just needed to get back to her and tell her that in person.