CHAPTER ELEVEN
I swore to myself that if Nora chose her asshole not-husband over me, we’d be done. I didn’t know how it worked cutting off a twin but I’d try. It would be like sawing off my own arm though.
I got in the car and blasted music. I looked behind me so I could back out of the driveway and heard a loud bang. I jumped and threw it in park. Nora banged on the window again, a wild smile on her honey brown face.
“Nora!” I squeaked, opening the door for her. My heart raced when we crashed into a hug.
“Nobody comes between us.” She held out her forearm and showed me her twin tattoo and I did the same.
“Let’s go see Abel,” I grinned.
“Wanna tell me why you needed me to go with you to see our brother?” Nora asked.
“I don’t think I should be around him alone,” I told her, my expression turned somber. My stomach knotted thinking about him saying he had to let me go. He was right but I hated it. It hurt. We made memories together and now that’s all I had to hold on to. He was a good brother though. He was the best brother.
I had to be okay with him being only my brother.
“What? Why not?” Nora frowned.
“Just…because.” Nora was quiet and I could tell she didn’t want to push. I was so grateful because I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I barely spoke to Abel about it. When I pulled up, Lauren’s car was in the driveway and I got so annoyed I let out a growl. Nora nudged me and we locked eyes.
Copper on copper.
Four blazing pennies.
“Be nice, Lucy.”
“When am I ever not nice?” I smiled and hopped out. I knocked on the door and put my mouth against the wood. “Police! Open up!” Nora and I giggled until Lauren opened the door. Why the hell was she opening the door in my brother’s house? How was I supposed to play nice if she didn’t know how to stay in her place and be a good little fuck toy? Fuck toys didn’t open the door.
“Abel is in the shower,” she said with her nose tilted upward. It was like she had to allude to the fact that she’d just fucked him. I knew she fucked him because I knew how he smelled. I spent so many nights tangled in his scent that it was burned into me.
“Luce,” Nora whispered. I must have looked pretty intense. I cleared my throat and forced a smile.
“That’s cool. Excuse me, Carmen.” I pushed past her and let Nora do the diplomatic shit. I headed straight for Abel’s room. I shouldn’t have. He wasn’t my property. It felt like he was though.
I barged into the bathroom and yanked the shower door open. “Luce, what the fuck?” He frowned, wiping water from his face. Damn, he was sexy. I forgot my train of thought.
“You fucked her.” The words tumbled out of my mouth and Abel groaned, shutting the water off.
“She’s my girlfriend. That’s what we do.” He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself. “We’re supposed to be backing off of each other, Lucy.”
“I know but…”
“Then you shouldn’t be up here.” He touched my hair and I didn’t care if he wet it up or not. I stared at the triangles on his shoulder and ran my fingers over them. He was my brother.
Brother.
Brother.
Brother.
I had to chant it in my head.
Abel’s fingers skimmed my collarbones then he pulled me close. He smelled like fresh rain. “Stop making this hard for me,” he begged, shutting his eyes.
“You think it’s a cakewalk for me, Abel? I think about you all the fucking time.” I couldn’t help slipping my hand inside his towel and stroking his thick cock.
“Lucy…” he growled but it was weak. “Go back downstairs.”
“Why? If Lauren’s a good girlfriend she drained you dry. Your dick shouldn’t stand up for me.” It was standing steadily though. Abel shoved me toward the door and I pouted. I flattened myself against the door holding the knob so he couldn’t open it.
“What do you want from me?” He asked, worn down.
“I don’t know, Abel. Maybe if you were actually happy instead of pretending to be then I wouldn’t bother you. I’d never want to interfere with your happiness but you’re not happy with that bitch downstairs.” In the next instant, Abel was crushing me under his weight.
“I can’t be happy with you either. If I could then none of this would matter because you’d be mine and I’d marry you and we could have had our fucking twins, Lucy but this isn’t that life. We don’t have that luxury.” We stared at each other. His eyes stern and mine full of tears.
He leaned down and kissed me and I locked my arms around his neck. “She didn’t fuck you like me, did she?”
“No. She can’t.” His hand slid up my shirt and I moaned.
“Did you think about me while your dick slid in and out of her?”
“Yes,” he hissed and bit my neck.
“Was her pussy wet for you like mine?”
“No,” he breathed against my throat and nibbled along my skin until he reached my jaw. “You know I love you Lucy but this is bad for us.” I nodded my head even though it killed me. “You have to find something…someone that’s not me. We have to do this together. We can do it.” His words were pretty but his dick was angry and it needed me. It dug into my abdomen shamelessly.
“We can?” I touched the head of his cock, wiping the precum away and smearing it across my lips.
“Goddammit, Lucy.” He slammed his fist against the door and I flinched. He tasted so good on my lips when I licked his flavor away. “Do you know how hard it is for me not to fuck you right now?”
“Seems like it’s pretty fucking hard.” I gripped his erection in my fist.
“It is. So get out before I break a promise we both made.”
“Okay. I’m leaving. I don’t like Carmen opening your door though.”
“Stop calling her Carmen. Jesus.”
“Should I call her Jesus then?” I smirked.
“Out, Lucy,” he boomed. I sighed and left his room with so many feelings coursing through me it was hard to count.
Downstairs, Nora and Lauren sat on the couch and Lauren frowned at me when I sat beside her. She smelled like Abel though and since I couldn’t fuck him, I was going to smell him at least. “Nice perfume,” I complimented her.
“I don’t have anything on.”
“Oh, you do. It’s my favorite,” I exhaled.
“I’m going to get something to drink, Nora would you like anything?” Lauren stood and smiled at my sister while ignoring my existence.
“I’m good. Thank you, Lauren. Luce, you want anything?”
“Whiskey would be nice.”
“It’s ten in the morning for Christ’s sake.”
“Don’t think I asked what time it was. I asked for whiskey. Hop to Carmen.” I clapped my hands and stretched my legs out on Abel’s pristine glass coffee table.
“How are you two twins?” Lauren asked with a disgusted lip curl.
“Because our mom’s egg split in two and then we implanted in her uterus and still came out better than you.” I winked at her and she grumbled before turning on her heel and heading into the kitchen.
“Lucy, I thought we were being nice.”
“You can be nice, Nora. I hate that bitch. She looks like a bird and she acts like one too. Squawk.” The bird noise came out of my mouth as soon as Lauren walked back in and Nora slapped her hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh.
“Abel doesn’t have whiskey,” Lauren sat down with a bottle of sparkling water and I rolled my eyes.
“Abel doesn’t have whiskey because you’re encroaching on his space. He always keeps whiskey for me,” I smiled like the innocent angel I am. Before Lauren could say anything, Abel came downstairs. He grinned from ear to ear when he saw Nora. They rushed into each other and hugged and my heart tingled.
“Nora, what’s up?” He kissed the top of her head.
“It’s been a while since the Waters kids hung out. We need to fix that.” She laid her head on his chest and I beamed.
“So since it’s Waters kids only. Out.” I pointed at Lauren and Abel sighed.
“Lucy…”
“What? Don’t most birds have wings? She can fly away. Squawk.”
“Excuse me? You’re so childish. Doesn’t it get tiring?”
“No. I’m full of energy.” I folded my arms and swung my feet back and forth.
“Lucy,” Nora called me that time.
“Abel you said there would be boundaries,” Lauren pouted.
“You said there would be boundaries,” I mocked. “Go home, Carmen.”
“You’re a bitter, jealous little girl and until you grow up you and Abel will never have a normal relationship. This is unhealthy.” Lauren stood up and I stood up too since we were all going to stand. Shit.
“You don’t know anything about me and my brother’s relationship. Keep your mouth shut.”
“I know enough.”
“Lauren, you need to back off,” Nora warned.
“Okay, let’s de-escalate this situation. Lauren, I’m going to spend some time with my sisters. I’ll see you later.”
“Like I said, this is unhealthy.” She pointed from me to Abel and I shut my eyes. If she said unhealthy one more fucking time I was going to lose it. My skin prickled and electricity crackled through my veins.
“You wanted boundaries, I’m giving them to you. Let me handle Lucy.” Abel’s voice was harsh and it calmed Lauren down but she still glared at me. She could glare all day as long as she didn’t say anything about me and Abel’s relationship.
“I meant boundaries that put her out and kept me close. She’s not your woman. I am.” The way she hurled knives at my brother with her snappy tone sent me over the edge. I snatched her short hair in my hand and yanked her backward, sending her feet flying from under her.
“Lucy!” Nora and Abel shouted after me but I ignored them. I dragged Lauren, it didn’t matter that she was a little heavier than me. I was powered by crazy. It knows no limits. I didn’t care what she crashed into as I pulled her with both hands toward the front door.
She needed to get the hell out.
Abel wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me backward but I was still gripping his girlfriend’s hair. “Let go, Lucy,” Nora pled.
“Get her off me!” Lauren wailed. The noises that came out of my mouth weren’t human. They were animalistic and angry. I wanted her out.
“Luce!” Abel shouted in my ear.
“Put her out, Abel! Now!”
“Okay! She’s gone as soon as you let go. Come on, baby. Let go for me.” He whispered in my ear. His breath swept over my skin and I let Lauren’s hair go. She scrambled away, backing herself against the front door. “Thank you,” Abel breathed. “Lauren, you should go.”
“Abel, we’re done! You can have your sister.”
“Stop saying shit like that!” He thundered.
“That’s who you want isn’t it?”
“That’s out of line, Lauren,” Nora frowned, standing beside me. “You don’t understand their relationship and it’s not for you. I think you need to go now. In a minute, Lucy isn’t going to be the only one dragging you.” Lauren slammed the door behind her with a frustrated scream leaving me, Nora, and Abel.
The Waters kids.
The way it should have been.
**
I spent the entire day with Nora and Abel. I hadn’t been that happy in a long time. I didn’t even clock into work drunk. I breezed through the break room and past Hush.
“You’re not drunk today,” he smirked.
“And you’re speaking in complete sentences. Someone might catch you, Hush.” I stared into his glowing eyes and he laughed. It lit his entire face up and I had to look away because I melted a little.
“Nah, my secret is safe with you, Lucy.” He winked at me and I hit his arm. I don’t know why but it was the only thing I could think of to do. When he said my name it made me feel weird but definitely not a bad weird.
Is that the way friendship felt?
He left the break room and I stood there like an idiot, smiling. Treasure walked past the room then backed up and looked inside at me. “Why the hell are you standing there like that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. I was thinking about something. Let me get out here and get to work.” I planned to have another great night of tips. I declared it to myself in the bathroom mirror and I firmly believed that whenever you declared something with positive intent, the universe made it happen. I made a declaration that I would let Abel be my brother and not my man anymore too. I shut my eyes and pushed out a soft breath before killing it all night behind the bar.
“Treasure, I’m gonna take fifteen,” I spoke in her ear so she could hear me over the loud music.
“Okay.” I knew she wouldn’t mind because it meant she would get all my tips. I went into the break room, grabbed a soda, and fell over onto the couch. Hush came in after me and shoved me over so he could sit down.
“You’re so rude. You could have asked me to move. Nobody else is in here,” I looked around like I didn’t know we were alone.
“Nah,” he shrugged.
“Let’s hang out tonight, Hush.” I knew Nora would be sleeping and I still had plenty of energy to burn. I was a night owl.
“No,” he frowned at me then broke into a smile. “Sure, Lucy.” He tousled my hair and made me feel like a little kid.
“You’re such an asshole. I like you though.” I laid my head on his shoulder and he tensed. “What? You act like I have Ebola.”
“Move,” he sighed, shoving my head.
“Hush, your shoulders are like five feet across, I can’t lay on them?”
“No.”
“Fine then. If I can’t lay on your shoulder, you’re treating tonight when we eat.”
“Deal.” He shook my hand and I rolled my eyes. I was new to having real friendships but so far so good.
**
“What did you make?” Hush walked up behind me in the break room while I counted out tips and I jumped, clutching my chest.
“Jesus, you scared me. Not only are you huge and mute, you’re like a ninja.”
“I’m not mute,” he scowled.
“Well everyone else doesn’t need to know that, weirdo.”
“Crazy.” He taunted me right back and the corners of my lips burned with a smile that wanted to be much bigger than it was.
“I resent that. I’m not crazy. I’m misunderstood.”
“Uh huh. Crazy.” Hush shook his head then headed to the back door. “My truck?” He asked over his shoulder.
“Yes,” I nodded, stuffing money back in my bra. I ran behind him and hopped in the passenger seat when he unlocked the door. “Blue Bayou again. I want more fried fish.”
“Greedy ass,” he laughed.
“Plus I want to see if the waiter we had is still there. He likes me. He’ll give me free whiskey.”
“That’s what you really care about isn’t it?” Hush chuckled.
“Yes.” I scrolled through his iTunes and played a song while we rode. I lucked up and we got the same waiter from the previous night. He grinned at me and Hush hid his laughter as I got free whiskey.
“Thanks, love,” I smiled at him and he said something that I didn’t pay attention to. The only thing I listened to was that glass of liquor. “Okay, so tell me how you ended up working at On the Rocks.” I tucked my foot underneath my body and stared into Hush’s eyes.
“I got out of jail. Needed a job. Treasure hired me. The end.” My skin buzzed at the mention of jail. I leaned in closer and finished my first drink.
“You already know that shit isn’t going to fly. Tell me why you were in jail.”
“No,” he ate a bite of food and tried to ignore me by staring at his phone. I snatched it from him and he tried to take it back until I dropped it in my bra. He wasn’t going down there and he knew it. He folded his bulky arms and grumbled.
“Lucy, give me my phone.”
“Give me an answer, Chase.” His gaze snapped to mine. He didn’t look mad, just shocked that I used his real name. I like his name though. It was nice.
“Stop being difficult. Why can’t you take the answer I gave you?”
“Because it’s short and vague. I want to know more about you. I can’t do that with short, vague answers.”
“Why do you want to know more about me, Lucy? You have the entire world trying to know more about you, I’m sure. I see the way customers gawk at you and talk your ear off.” I smiled a little and shrugged.
“You’re right, but that’s not what’s important. Those people don’t matter. I see you every day, Chase. You. Not Hush. The real you. I want to know more about you. You’re my new friend. You’re my only friend.”
“You have siblings,” he pointed out.
“And that’s what they are. They’re my family. I don’t have anyone I can call a friend though. Now, stop distracting me and tell me what the hell you were in jail for.”
“And here I thought you’d forgotten,” he laughed.
“I never forget. Spill it.” After a lot of moaning and groaning and acting like a toddler, Hush opened up to me.
“I punched a guy one night during a fight and…he didn’t wake up.”
“Oh my God, you killed him?”
“No, he was in a coma for a long time though. Six months. I crushed some important stuff in his skull. My time was contingent on if he lived or died.” He dragged his eyes to mine. “I prayed every day that he woke up and one day…he did.”
“So they let you go?”
“After a lot of back and forth with lawyers, yeah, but now I’m on probation.”
“Shit, Hush. That’s a lot. Now I see why you keep to yourself. I would too. Fuck that.”
“Exactly,” he huffed. “I don’t want anyone or anything messing up my probation. It’s bad enough I’m a six foot eight black man. I don’t need to talk and make myself more intimidating.”
“Damn. You’re six eight?” My eyes went wide as I stared at him. I was off by an inch. I knew he was tall though.
“That’s all you heard, Lucy?” His smile was absolutely fucking ridiculous. I wanted to see more of it. It was blinding and it was such a contrast from the scowl I was so used to seeing.
“No. I heard that you have a really good reason for why you don’t talk much. You can talk to me though.” I held his hand across the table and he gave it a squeeze.
“Thank you.” He took a long drink of water and let his eyes flit over my face. “Tell me about your siblings. You seem like you love them a lot.” I nodded eagerly and pulled up a picture on my phone.
“This is us. Abel, Nora and me. We hung out today and it was amazing.” Hush blinked a few times and looked at me.
“There are two of you? Jesus.”
“Yeah. We’re twins.”
“Wow. I knew you had a sister I didn’t know it was your twin.”
“Yeah. She’s cute isn’t she?” I laughed.
“Very cute,” he chuckled. “You must be the baby.”
“Didn’t you hear me say we’re twins?” I quizzed after ordering another whiskey.
“I did. You must have come out last. You know what the hell I meant, Lucy.” God, there he was saying my name again. My spine caught a chill and I squirmed around in my seat.
“I did. How can you tell?”
“You’re carefree. The baby always is. Doesn’t matter if it’s by minutes or not.”
“You think I’m carefree?”
“You are. At least that’s how you seem to me. You don’t have to worry about getting locked up or making curfew.”
“I worry about stuff.” Thoughts of Abel danced in my head and I pushed them away.
“I’m sure you do, I didn’t mean to imply you had nothing to worry about. I guess I just wish I were carefree too.” The waiter sat another drink in front of me and I started sucking it down while Hush shook his head.
“Why do you drink so much, Lucy?” Since his question didn’t sound judgy, I answered him.
“I like it. It makes me forget.” My eyes dropped to my drink and I stared directly into my painful memories.
I saw myself sitting on the edge of the tub, holding a pregnancy test, shaking like a leaf. I was pregnant and it was Abel’s. He was the only person I’d ever had sex with. I sucked plenty of dicks and gave a mean hand job but sex was reserved for Abel. I remembered wondering how the hell we could be so careless.
It felt good but I couldn’t let my family know I was pregnant and by my brother no less. I panicked and ran into his room, holding the test. He hugged me and kissed my forehead. He told me it would be okay but I was too scared. I told him we had to get rid of it.
I could see the pain in his eyes but he agreed. He took me to the clinic and I got an ultrasound to determine how far along I was.
Three months.
I was three months pregnant.
With twins.
I aborted them both and I worried every day that Nora or my parents would find out. When I drank, I didn’t think. I didn’t worry. I didn’t wonder how old the twins would be or when their birthdays would have been. I didn’t wonder if they would have been boys or girls.
“Lucy?” Hush’s voice pulled me out of the glass of whiskey and I realized I was crying. I sucked in a breath and wiped my eyes.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Sometimes I get lost in my own thoughts.”
“Seems like you have a lot you want to forget. I’m sorry that it makes you cry.” He was so sincere that the tears rolled again.
“It’s fine, Hush.” I knocked back the rest of my drink and sighed. “Well, just know that I have deep, dark shit I worry about too.”
“I guess I shouldn’t have assumed otherwise.” We got lost in each other after that, laughing and talking. I refused to talk about anything that wasn’t happy. I lost track of the time and so did he.
“Shit, Lucy, I need my phone.” I was staring at him so hard I barely heard him. I shook my head and pulled the phone out of my bra, slapping it in his hand. “We gotta go.” He stood up and dropped money on the table then yanked my hand and dragged me outside.
“Hush, what’s wrong?” I put on my seatbelt and looked at him.
“I have fifteen minutes to check in.” He hauled ass and I laughed every time he hit a speed bump without slowing down. “You are so wasted.”
“I know but it feels like I’m flying.” I laid my head against the headrest and made flying noises while hush drove. I must have fallen asleep at some point but I had no idea when it happened.
**