I stop at the vet’s office as quickly as I can. There’s a medication that makes animals vomit. It’s gross, but it’s the fastest way to get bad things out of their stomach. Onions are really bad for dogs, and while eating them doesn’t usually produce immediate results, some dogs can have a bad allergic reaction, which is what I think Zeus is having.

There’s a chance I might get pulled over on the way because I’m definitely speeding. I honestly didn’t think I’d ever be coming back to this house again, let alone coming back today. It’s all so raw and familiar like a big bruise. Is there any chance that we can ever really set it straight? Ten years of heartache and accusations eating away at us is a lot to overcome.

I blink those thoughts away. Right now I can only think about Zeus. He needs my help, and even though I’m not certified, this is what I want to do. I can’t ignore this request. I would never want to.

The house looms, and I’ve barely turned off my car before I’m out of it and running for the house. I pound on the door and it takes only seconds for Sam to open it. I push past him, “Where is he?”

“Backyard. He wanted to go out.”

I nod. Instinct. And since I have to make him throw up having him outside is going to be better anyway. Zeus is near the back deck, taking a few steps and retching, pawing at his face. “I think he’s having an allergic reaction. I brought this.” I hold up the bottle. “You need to help me have him swallow it.”

Sam nods, gathering Zeus to him like it doesn’t take any effort.

“I hope you don’t like those clothes,” I say. “This is going to make him puke.”

“Is that good for him?”

I open the bottle and get a dropper full of the liquid. “It’s the fastest way, and we want it out of him fast.”

Zeus doesn’t want to take the medicine. I wouldn’t either. It’s a struggle to get his mouth open and hold it open while he’s retching, but Sam makes a valiant effort. Together we get his mouth open long enough to get the vial of fluid down his throat. He runs off immediately and the liquid only takes a minute to kick in. He vomits violently across the yard, but the minute he does you can see that he feels better. Immediately he comes back to us, still retching, but not as much. He nudges his head against my leg, and I lean down to hug him. “It’s okay, boy.” I look up at Sam. “We should get some water in him.”

“Yeah. Come on boy.” Zeus follows slowly and gratefully drinks from the water Sam sets out on the deck. “Will he be all right out here for a while?”

I nod. “He should be fine. Keep an eye on him. He’ll probably throw up again, that’s normal.”

“Thank you,” he says, genuine gratitude in his voice, “for coming.”

“You’re welcome.” And I can’t stay. I thought I could, but I’m not ready. I turn and slip back inside.

Sam follows. “Fiona, wait.”

“Rose already tried, Sam. We said a lot of things this morning, and I thought that I was ready to talk again, but I don’t think I am.”

“I know that you’re angry, and you have every right to be, but please, listen.”

I shake my head. “I want to. I really do. But I think I need to go home right now. It hurts, and I need it to just not hurt for a little while.” I take a step backward and run right into his kitchen table. It sets me off balance, and I almost fall, knocking a stack of papers onto the floor while I try to right myself. “Shit, I’m sorry.” Crouching down onto the floor, I start to gather up the papers, when I see a name I recognize: Lacy Davis. I look up at Sam, and he’s staring at me with an expression somewhere between horror and relief. I unfold one of the papers, and read. It’s a confirmation of a wire transfer. Twenty-thousand dollars to Lacy David. It’s dated last month.

I flip through the papers on the floor. All slips of paper telling me that he’s been giving her every month for years. “What the hell is this?”

“Will you listen?” he asks. “Really listen?” He holds out a hand and I take it.

“I will,” I say, because there’s no way I’m leaving this house without knowing what that money is for. “But I’m going to need a drink.”

Sam pours me one, and we go back out onto the porch where we can keep an eye on Zeus while we talk. I don’t think I’m going to be doing much of the talking.

He clears his throat. “This morning, after you left, I did some thinking. And I realized that this is silly. That this whole thing between us has gotten so out of hand, and you’re right, you need to know. And that after ten years, even if everything comes out, it will be all right. The truth will out, or whatever that quote is.” He takes a long sip of his drink.

“That night, when I left to go to the bathroom, Lacy cornered me. She told me that she had information that would ruin my family, and that if I didn’t come with her right that second that I would be sorry in the morning. She was clearly drunk, and her lipstick was smudged all to hell, like she’d been having sex with someone. But I’d known enough drunk people to know that they don’t bluff. So I went with her.

“I thought she might be trying to get me outside for sex, in which case I would have left. She did try to kiss me, but I wouldn’t let her. But then she told me the truth: that she’d found out that my father was her father too. My dad cheated on my mom and had another child, and we never knew. My mother never knew. And when Lacy found out—she’d found out from a family relative that she’d reconnected with, and confirmed with her mother, she was angry. Lacy was poor, and once she found out that she was really a Logan she felt cheated. She wanted the life that we had, and she demanded it—twenty thousand dollars every month or she would go to the papers. She would go to my mother. She’d go to everyone who would listen and tell them the truth about Logan Sr.’s secret love child.”

Sam stops for a second, and he looks like he’s getting emotional. “My father is a son of a bitch, Fiona. He’s not a good man. He’s a liar and a cheater, but my mother loves him. This would have destroyed her. I was in shock, and I didn’t believe her, but she told me she’d give me proof, and after that she expected her money. Then you called my name, and I knew what it would look like. I knew that I was with a different girl, that it seemed like I’d cheated. But I didn’t know what to do. What could I do? If I told you right then what happened and Lacy heard, she could destroy my entire family. I couldn’t say anything in my defense or risk that. It killed me.

“But I had to protect her, Fiona. My mother is a good person, and she doesn’t deserve what people and the media would say about her if this came out. So I made the decision to stay quiet. Lacy showed me her birth certificate, signed by my father. And I started giving her money from my trust fund. Twenty thousand every month. Ever since. That’s the truth.”

His words hang in the air between us, and I don’t know how to feel. I’ve seen the proof of the payments, so it makes sense. “That’s what happened?”

“Yes.” You can feel it bone deep when someone is telling the truth, and I know that Sam is.

Everything makes sense, and yet I feel anger rise up in my chest again. I knock back what’s left of my drink and stand to pace. “You could have told me,” I said. “You could have told me later, privately. I would have never given away your secret.”

“I couldn’t risk that.”

It’s like a slap in the face. “You don’t trust me? You didn’t trust me?”

Sam stands. “Of course I trust you. Fiona, I was young. I was scared. Lacy knew exactly what she was doing when she chose me. I never should have had to make that kind of decision at that age. But my family was already struggling internally. Things that I could never share, and after you disappeared it was the only thing I had left. I didn’t want it to disappear too.”

Angry tears appear in my eyes. “All these years I’ve thought the worst of you. You let me think the worst of you. Every day I’ve wondered why it was that I wasn’t enough and she was. Why you would go and be with her when I thought we were happy.”

“I know.”

He takes a step toward me, and my anger lashes out. I try to slap him, but he catches my hand. The other hand too, so that I’m trapped. “Let me go.”

“Are you going to hit me?”

“Maybe,” I say.

“Then I’ll keep your hands right here for now.”

I try to free my hands. “You can’t say that you don’t deserve it.”

“I do,” he says. “But you promised to listen to everything.”

I bite my lips to keep from blurting out something else.

“This morning, what you said, I realized that I needed to tell you as much as you needed to be told. That I was wrong to keep this from my mother. I probably could have saved her pain by telling her what kind of man her husband is. I haven’t decided if I’m going to yet, but this needed to be gone from between us because I lo—” He stops, takes a breath. “I love you. I’ve never stopped loving you, even when it hurt. And that moment seeing you at the party, I felt whole again, even though I was being ripped apart all over again.” He’s so close to me I can barely breathe. “I can’t lose you again, Fi.”

Fi. What he always used to call me. The angry tears I’ve been holding back spill over, and he closes the distance between us, kissing me. It’s perfect, cleansing and healing and I can’t stop crying and hiccupping. He pulls back, finally releasing my hands so he can cradle my face. “I know that I’ve made mistake after mistake. Can you ever forgive me?”

I take a breath, because it’s all I’ve ever wanted him to say. “I’m still royally pissed at you,” I manage to get out.

He grins. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

He kisses me again, and I melt into him. This is what it feels like to be home. That feeling in your bones that even though you’re broken and bruised, you’re safe. “Feel free to work off your anger at me in the bedroom,” he whispers.

I laugh through my tears. “You bet your ass I will.”