Chapter 12
As we pass through the portal, I struggle not to close my eyes against the bright colors swirling around us. When I had fallen through White’s rabbit hole, it had been a vortex of green and white, the same colors the sneaky bastard seems to favor. Hatter’s portal is a mixture of gold, purple, and black, dragging me in until my eyes burn with the effort it takes to keep them open.
I battle the rising panic as we seem to move faster and faster through the colors. The only thing keeping me from completely losing my sanity is the Hatter beside me, his arm threading through mine, his strength locking us together. I almost chuckle at that, as inappropriate a time it is, that the Mad Hatter is keeping me sane. What are the odds of that?
When I think it will just keep on going forever— the Hereafter must be a long journey— the colors dissipate, and we step out into a lush, green jungle. The air is damp, immediately making my clothes feel ten times more suffocating. The high collar is the worst, but the leather pants are close behind. Everything is dripping with moisture, almost like it has just rained, just enough to make it more humid. I tug at the collar of my jacket, hating my entire outfit that seems perfect for Wonderland but is terrible for the sweltering Hereafter.
I look around us, the sounds of the jungle reaching my ears. Birds call to each other in the trees, the screech of a monkey sounds close by. None of them make my ears bleed. It’s exactly what I imagined Wonderland would be, a magical, peaceful world, the sun shining bright and filtering through the trees. Not surprising, I was a hundred percent wrong.
The Hatter doesn’t say anything as I study the new world I find myself in. Again, I shake my head. I’ll definitely end up in the nuthouse if I tell anyone back home about all this. With his arm still locked around mine, he reaches behind him to where the portal is still swirling. He snatches his hat from the floor on the other side, and it confuses me. We just traveled for long minutes to reach the Hereafter, and yet, I’m able to see back into the ballroom where the Knave stands. Anger clouds his once handsome face as he watches us. It makes the roses quiver. I can’t believe that even though the trip through the portal seemed like it took forever, that we can still see through to the other side. I watch as the Hatter plops his hat back on his head. The portal begins to close, shrinking smaller and smaller. The Hatter flicks the Knave the bird, a smirk on his face. The portal closes on the Knave’s scream of rage.
“So, this is the Hereafter?” What else can I really say? I just stepped through a Wonderland portal into their version of the Afterlife. I like to think I’m handling the situation pretty well when everything I thought I knew has been turned on its head.
“Yes,” the Hatter replies, looking down at me. “And you shouldn’t be here. This place is meant for the dead.”
“But you’re here,” I point out. I know for a fact he is very much alive. He’s as solid as I am. His arm hasn’t loosened one bit, and I get the feeling he doesn’t know what will happen if he isn’t touching me. He’s much more tense than he had been in Wonderland.
“I am neither here nor there.”
“What does that even mean?”
“A son of Wonderland cannot die unless the end of Wonderland is nigh,” he sings, tipping his head towards me.
“So, if Wonderland dies, you die,” I clarify. He nods his head once. “And that’s what’s happening now?”
“The Red Queen is a plague upon our world, draining it even as she grows stronger.” He looks into the distance, sadness on his face. “Alice should have never taken the throne.”
I stop abruptly, my feet refusing to take another step. The Hatter makes a comical dramatic stop you only see in cartoons, like I anchored him down. I know he’s much stronger than me. He did it on purpose, and it makes me smile briefly before I bring up the topic again.
“The Red Queen is The Alice?” I ask, because who saw that coming? Isn’t Alice supposed to be a twelve-year-old innocent girl?
His eyes darken, anger moving across his face before fading away.
“A story for another time, I’m afraid,” he answers, meeting my eyes. “We’re on a time limit.”
“What kind of time limit?”
“I’ve never brought someone living to the Hereafter and you’re already starting to fade. We need to get to the other portal and get you out of here. The Knave will no doubt be waiting at this one.”
“I’m not fading.” I look down at my body and nearly choke on my words. The hand not holding onto the Hatter is translucent, looking more like a fairy’s gossamer wings than skin. “Oh, shit!”
He tugs until we’re moving again. I stumble after him, staring at my vanishing hand.
“Come along, Clara Bee. It’s not your time yet.”
“What happens if I fade completely?” I ask, my voice a rough whisper.
“No need to worry.” He smiles. “You said you trusted me.”
“But what happens if I fade in the Hereafter?”
He glances at me from the corner of his eyes. There’s sadness there, a glimmer sparkling in them.
“Then you disappear completely. It would be like you never existed.”
I can feel the horror cross my face, the idea freaking me out more than anything else I have encountered so far. Prophesied to defeat the Red Queen, nothing. Destined to be the Mad Hatter’s mate, okay. Disappear like I never existed, hell no!
The Hatter scoffs and leans down, scooping me up bridal style. I squeak as the world tilts, and I wrap my arms around the Hatter’s neck in panic. He wiggles his eyebrows as his arms gets very cozy around me.
“You’re moving too slowly,” he shrugs. “Clara Bee was meant for me, and I can’t let her die. So, hold on tight, Miss Clara Bee, and everything will be alright,” he sings.
And then he begins to run, the jungle flying by at a speed that leaves me breathless. This time, I close my eyes against the blurring colors.
Everything looks the same to me. Green, green, green with various pops of color from the floral vines. The sounds don’t change, a constant chitter of birds and animals rustling through the undergrowth. Not a single bug tries to bite me. The Hereafter is blessedly free of blood sucking insects and tiny poisonous things.
We come across a stream, and the Hatter slows. There’s sweat dripping down his face and chest, his hair is sticking to his forehead. I’m pretty sure my hair is a rat’s nest. Sweat slicked and tangled isn’t one of my sexier looks. The Hatter sets me down, his hand coming down to wrap around mine, making sure our skin is always touching. Both of our palms are clammy, but neither one of us comments on it.
“Are you thirsty?” The Hatter looks at the water longingly.
I take stock of my body. My entire arm is faded but nothing else is. Perhaps, it isn’t progressing as fast as the Hatter fears. I take a moment to think about it, but the decision is made for me when my hand moves to my collar and begins undoing the buttons down my coat. Hatter looks at me in puzzlement.
“I’m too hot,” I supply as an answer while I pull one arm free of the heavy jacket, switching the hand holding onto the Hatter’s before pulling off the other sleeve. The jacket drops to the ground, the leaves stirring with the heavy weight.
“We don’t have time.” Hatter shakes his head, but he watches as I pull the sweat-slicked cami up and over my head that I had been wearing underneath. The different weapons harnesses are next. They clatter to the ground, the metal buckles clanking together.
“It isn’t moving that fast. It won’t take long. I just want to cool down.” I kick the combat boots off and start working on my leather pants. Unbuttoning them with only one hand proves difficult, but I eventually manage the feat. “Now, are you going to join me or just sit on the edge? Either way, I’m getting in that water.”
I peel the leather pants off, the sweat making them suction to me. It won’t be fun getting into them again, but at least, I have a moment where I can feel a cool breeze on my heated skin. I might consider walking the rest of the way like this, dressed only in my bra and underwear. Hatter doesn’t seem to mind. In fact, he doesn’t seem to be able to take his eyes off me.
I tug on his hand.
“Well?” He takes barely a second before he whips off his top hat and sets it on the ground beside him. His jacket follows. I watch as more and more skin is revealed, waiting expectantly for his pants to follow.
“I’ll leave these on.” He kicks his boots off, but doesn’t remove his leather.
“Are you sure? That doesn’t seem comfortable.” There’s no way I would swim in the leather pants.
He grins.
“Tempting fate would be great except you still owe a kiss. If I lost my pants, I’d lose my chance, to touch lips to lips.”
I return the smile.
“Suit yourself, My Dear Hatter, if that’s really what you’re about. But I hope you know exactly what you’re missing out,” I sing back as I dip my toe in the water. It’s cold but not freezing. I step inside, sighing as my body slowly adjusts to the temperature change. I glance back at Hatter, grinning. He’s still standing on the edge, a soft smile on his face. “What?”
“I like when you do that,” he replies softly, his fingers gently squeezing mine.
“Do what?” I’m genuinely confused. I hadn’t done anything out of the ordinary.
“Embrace my madness.”
My heart gives a hard throb in my chest when I hear the emotion in his voice. I pull on the Hatter’s arm until he’s forced to step into the water with me. He’s taller than me, so our faces aren’t level, but I make sure he’s paying attention as I look up into his eyes. I wrap him in a hug, a bit of an awkward one with our hands linked together, but I hug him as hard as I can. He smells like his normal Chocolate and Chamomile, an enticing mixture that makes me inhale deeply.
“Hatter,” I whisper, drawing his eyes to mine. “You are more than just your madness. And you are perfect. Don’t ever think I won’t accept who you are.”
He frowns.
“You don’t mind the madness? My mind is a very dark place.”
“If I minded, do you think I would be standing here in my underwear thinking about how your lips taste? Or that you’re the most interesting person I have ever met?”
Hatter lifts me into the air suddenly, his arms wrapped around me, tightening our hug. I laugh as he steps further into the stream, the cool water rushing past our thighs. Then he squats down until only our heads stick out. I instantly feel better, the stream is exactly what I need.
“Clara Bee,” Hatter sighs as he leans his forehead against mine.
“Can we kiss now?” I ask, anticipating the moment, but he shakes his head.
“We can’t linger long. You’re still fading.”
I look down at my arm to see that my shoulder is transparent now. I groan.
“Clara!” a voice calls from the bank. “What in Wonderland are you doing here?”
I jerk my head towards the sound, my eyes falling on Tera. She’s dressed in a green robe, a towel thrown over her shoulder. When I glance behind her, I can see the fox brothers making their way towards us, all dressed in similar green robes. So, they did make it to the Hereafter. I wonder how even as I raise my eyebrows and smile.
“Tera!” I bite my lip. “It’s a long story. And apparently, we don’t have much time.” I raise my arm for her to see, and her eyes widen in panic.
“You need to get out of the Hereafter right away!”
“We plan to. I wasn’t dressed for a jungle, so the heat got a little unbearable.”
Tera eyes my state of undress before flicking to the Hatter who I’m wrapped around like a spider monkey.
“Looks to me you had the same idea we did,” she laughs, the sound husky. “The boys and I were just about to go skinny dipping.”
I smile even as I blush. She seems happy, and that makes me happier for her. I have no idea what her life was like in Wonderland, what hardships she had to face that eventually led to her death, but here, she’s carefree and safe. I feel much better after seeing her.
“We have to go, Clara Bee,” Hatter whispers in my ear. Part of my chest is fading, and I stand up abruptly, pulling Hatter with me. We climb from the stream and start dressing. I have to do a little hop dance to get the pants back on. I was right. Putting them on again does suck. The jacket is worse, like buttoning myself up in a heating blanket. I leave most of the buttons undone in an attempt to stop some of the heat.
When I finish, Tera hugs me to her.
“Stay strong. And watch out for the Knave.”
“Oh, we’ve met,” I reply. “That’s how we ended up here.” Hatter picks me up again. “Have fun with the boys!”
“Have fun with the Hatter!” She winks at me as we take off, faster than before.
I have a quick view of the Fox brothers pulling the robe from Tera’s shoulders before they’re out of sight.
When the Hatter finally begins to slow down, my head feels as light as my body. I look down at myself, everything I can see is translucent, resembling a ghost more than a person, and I frown. I try not to let the panic take hold when the Hatter’s arms tighten around me and worry creases his face. I have no idea how to deal with what is happening, how to fight against it. How do I stop myself from blinking out of existence? Get the hell out of Dodge, is the only thing that comes to mind.
“How much further?” My voice sounds different, more breathy and soft, like it’s fading away, too.
“Not much. Not much,” Hatter replies. He keeps repeating the words over and over again under his breath. It does nothing to soothe my nerves.
We break through the tree line, stepping into a circle of trees, a clearing. In the center, blending into the green of the jungle, stands a bit of Wonderland. Giant mushrooms stand tall and proud in the center, forming an archway as they bend together. Wonderland bugs flutter around the small area, buzzing incessantly. They fly around lazily, the complete opposite of the attack mode they seem to be set on normally. The sound of birds and animals is absent here, the place having a holy feeling to it.
The Hatter doesn’t hesitate. He strides right up the giant mushrooms, purpose in his steps. The bugs buzz faster, realizing we’re here, but they don’t touch us. Right at the doorway, he sets me down gently, keeping one arm firmly twisted with mine. I sway when my feet touch the ground, unnerved when I realize I can’t feel them. It mostly feels like I’m floating, kind of like that one time Jill Landon convinced me to smoke a joint in high school. The ground hums beneath me, a dragging sensation pulling on my body. I don’t know if it’s the place or the fact that I can no longer see strands of my hair. I don’t know if there’s any part of me not transparent.
Note to self: don’t come back to the Hereafter unless I’m dead.
Hatter jerks off his hat and violently throws it on the ground at our feet. As I watch, the portal opens again, seeming to spin from inside the hat itself. I’ll ask him about that later, and how he got the guests through without his hat. Maybe it’s just a tool more than the portal itself, a way to focus his power? He wastes no time before he jumps into the portal, dragging me behind him. I expect to walk through like the last time, stepping into Wonderland the same way I walk through a doorway. Instead, as soon as our bodies cross completely into the portal, we begin to fall. It’s the exact same feeling I had when White brought me into Wonderland, like I’m falling down the Rabbit hole all over again. After everything, I’ll probably avoid portals for the rest of my life. They definitely aren’t on my list of favorite things to do.
There’s a strong tug on the arm still wrapped with the Hatter’s before I feel him wrenched away from me. I scramble to grasp his hand again, swinging my arm around wildly, but I only swipe through empty air. I scream, terror ripping through me. I can’t do this without him. What happens if I don’t get where I’m supposed to?
Before I even have time for my voice to crack or grow hoarse, the bright colors of the portal disappear, and then I’m falling for real through open air. I scream again, but I shouldn’t have worried. Just when I think I’m going to crack open my skull on the black and white tiles below me, I land in the Hatter’s arms with an ungraceful oomph.
“Nice of you to drop in.” He grins, his arms strong around me as they cradle my body to his.
I roll my eyes, trying to calm my racing heart, but a small smile curls my lips anyways. He sets me on my feet, and I wobble before I find my balance. I glance down at my arm and smile.
“I’m normal again,” I exclaim.
“Well, as normal as normal can be.” Hatter chuckles, the grin still on his face. “But what do you consider normal as, to me, you look quite different?”
I laugh at the absurdity of the Mad Hatter telling me I’m not normal. I laugh that I went to the Hereafter, to the literal Afterlife, and I survived. A high fills my body until I feel like jumping up and down and twirling in circles. I’m giddy with joy, happy that the Hatter is here with me and the reason I’m still alive.
In my excitement, I throw my arms around his neck. He stiffens against me, surprise on his face as I smack a noisy kiss on his lips in excitement. The world freezes as I lean back a bit to look into his eyes. His pupils widen slightly before the color darkens from the bright gold of happiness to old gold, glittering like diamonds as he stares into mine. It lasts maybe a second before he growls, the sound animalistic, turning me on in a way I never knew it could.
Before I can respond, the Hatter lifts me by the waist and pushes me back against a wall I didn’t even realize was there. His lips slam against mine in a scorching kiss, fire trailing through my body and straight to my core. I let out a squeak of shock before I’m kissing him back just as furiously. I don’t hesitate. I guess almost dying really put things into perspective for me. I knew if there was one thing I would regret not doing, it would be not giving into the chemistry between us. So, here I am, sandwiched between a wall and a hard place. Well, a hard something. I’ve never been so thankful that the Hatter only wears a coat as my hands slide along his defined abs, his muscles tightening beneath my nails as I scrape the rigid lines.
Our teeth clack together in our passion. I have the overwhelming urge to get closer. We’re so far apart even though we’re so close together. As if he knows what I’m thinking, Hatter’s hands drop to my ass and grip tight, hauling me up and against him, my core lining up with the hardness in his pants. I wrap my legs around him, and another growl rumbles in his throat. One hand stays beneath my ass, holding me up, his grip like iron. His other hand slips beneath the hem of my coat, his rough fingers scraping against my skin deliciously. Those fingers slide up my ribs until his thumb barely brushes the underside of my breast. I thread one of my hands into his hair, knocking the top hat from his head. He doesn’t seem to care. I tighten my hold to the point of pain as my other dips lower along his abs, towards the waistband of his leather pants.
Someone clears their throat.
Hatter breaks away, a snarl curling his lips, his face more animal than man as he sets me on my feet and twists, hiding me behind him. I’m panting for breath, confused, and so turned on, I might die if I don’t get what I want. Uncaring of the threat, apparently, in front of the Hatter, my hands slide around and under his jacket. He was already tense, but when my nails trail along the edge of his pants, his spine cracks as he straightens even more. A breath hisses from his teeth, and his hands still mine against his skin gently. His hand is shaking the tiniest bit, like he’s having trouble keeping focused.
“Clara Bee,” he sings softly, so only I can hear. “We have company.” I don’t really care, too deep in my pleasure to ask, but I don’t have to. “Meet Tweedledee and Tweedledum.”