Chapter 34

 

The room became a tomb, a mausoleum of silence and trapped horror. Zara couldn’t even bring herself to look at anyone, terrified of what she might see staring back.

Instead, she kept her eyes shut and waited for the moment Magnus forced her out. She waited with her breath caught in her chest for his hatred to wash over her. Every second thumped in her chest, a frightened patter that brought tears to her eyes.

“Did you see Imogen, too?” Riley asked softly.

Zara shook her head.

“The only thing that matters is that we need to be a family, now more than ever,” Liam said, breaking into the silence. “We can’t allow for weakness. There will be enough obstacles in our path and we can only rely on each other.”

“Plus, we can all agree that what happened to Mom wasn’t Zara’s fault,” Reggie chimed in. “She’s not the one who killed her.”

No one said it, but Zara knew they were all thinking the same thing: but she didn’t do anything to stop it, either. Zara didn’t have the heart to tell them there was nothing they could have done even if she had. They wouldn’t believe she was trying to protect them. That was the thing they never seemed to understand, not this family. They were so hell bent on saving each other that they never considered that death couldn’t be cheated. Kyaerin had lived her life. Her name had been drawn. Why should anyone else take her place? Zara hadn’t been very fond of the woman, but she knew Kyaerin would have agreed it was better that it was her and not her children.

But it didn’t matter. It didn’t change the fact that, no matter what happened, they would never truly accept her, not after this. She would always be the outsider, the monster who allowed the greatest travesty to befall their happy family.

“That’s not true,” Riley insisted, peering across the short stretch of space to where Zara sat. “We’re all still grieving, that’s all, but you’ll always be one of us.”

Zara stared at her, not entirely certain if they were talking about the same thing, or if she’d accidentally spoken out loud, or if the girl could read her mind. The confusion had her glancing at Reggie, but he was watching his fingers pick at a broken piece of nail on his thumb.

“I’m sorry?”

Riley blinked and glanced at the others. “You guys heard it, too, right? I’m not going crazy … am I?”

Valkyrie shifted in the cushion next to Zara. “We all understand death and the necessity behind it, but you’re wrong, we could have done something. We would have been prepared. We could have protected her.”

No, you couldn’t, she wanted to say, but those seemed like arguing words and she didn’t know how to explain death to them. They only knew one version, but she had physically seen it at work. She had followed it for years, watching it scratch names off its list. It didn’t get swayed by tears, or bribed with gold. It didn’t understand compassion or guilt. It only knew the numbers it needed to reach its quota. And Zara couldn’t let them die when it wasn’t their time. Not even Valkyrie.

Kyaerin would agree! she kept wanting to tell them. But again, they wouldn’t understand.

“I think I’d like to retire.” She pushed to her feet, relieved when her legs supported her weight. “I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

Her joints were stiff, but they took her from the room and the silent eyes watching her. She made her way through the familiar corridors, marveling at the sheer contrast to Kyros’s castle with its brightness and obsessive cleanliness. She wasn’t sure which she preferred. Possibly neither. Possibly because both places held nothing but misery. She longed for the peace of the temple. She ached for the days she spent before the fire, back when her abilities were a blessing, not a curse, back when the end of a life wasn’t her fault.

Back when she didn’t hate herself.

Alone in her room, Zara shut the door lightly behind her and padded to the bed. It looked exactly how she’d left it. It had only been one day, but already everything felt foreign, and out of place. It was ridiculous because everything in there belonged. She didn’t. She was the foreign object.

The sob tore out of her before she could stop it. It echoed in the hollow silence, a never-ending loop before she realized she was crying uncontrollably. All her hurt ripped out of her chest in hard, jagged gasps. Her soul boiled with her pain, a rising agony threatening to capsize her resolve. She could feel herself tumbling into a dark abyss, a bottomless ravine of desolation. Every sliver of her sanity begged her to just end it already. What further purpose could her life have when her entire existence was a perfectly orchestrated lie? She didn’t even know who she was anymore.

“My mate.”

The voice, deep and reverberating cut through her wall of spiraling depression, dismantling her sorrow with only two quietly murmured words.

Zara turned, not sure how she hadn’t heard the door open, but even more surprised that she hadn’t felt him come in; his presence was a roaring inferno of man and strength. It was impossible to ignore.

Yet there he stood, clad in his battle gear, his hair a perfect mess around his beautiful face. He seemed too massive in the tiny space.

“You’re my mate,” he repeated. “It’s not all that you are, but if you need one thing until you discover the rest, there’s that.”

She wiped at her eyes. “Am I?”

He closed the door quietly behind him. “That’ll never change.”

“Even now that you know?”

Rather than answer, he walked to her and lightly took her arm. He turned it over so they were both looking down at the perfect circle puckering otherwise flawless, white flesh. The intertwined ring prickled beneath the caress of his callus thumb.

“Always,” he murmured, eyes hidden behind heavy lashes.

“You should hate me.”

“I considered it.” The thick fans lifted and she found herself falling down a different darkness, a heated one that didn’t feel like falling at all, but gliding. “I even tried. It was easier to blame you than recognizing the real person at fault—me.”

“Magnus, no—”

He shook his head. “I was right there. Kyros was distracted. I could have done something. I should have, but I didn’t. That’s on me. Not you.”

“No, you’re wrong. You don’t understand! None of you.” Frustration had her scrubbing at her face with a soft palm. She lowered her hand and fixed him with all the patience she could muster. “Humans have a cycle, one that rises and falls. They know there is a start and an end. Immortals don’t have that. We live until we’re stopped. That could be centuries, eons even, but even we eventually end. Everyone has an expiration, a deadline, and only death has that list.” She paused to catch her breath and gentled her tone. “Someone would have had to die, Magnus. It was either you or your mother.”

“Then I—”

“No.” She captured his hand. “How can you expect me to be okay with that? I wouldn’t choose any life over yours. Not even my own.”

She never saw him move, but somehow, she found herself in his arms. His mouth slipped into place over hers, the perfect click of two puzzle pieces. The taste and scent of him settled around her in a soft, gossamer breeze that soaked into every fiber and marrow of her being. It enclosed her in a protective cocoon of warmth, and she melted into him. Her arms wound around his strong shoulders and she clung just long enough to savor the taste of him before she pulled away.

“Why didn’t you come for me?” She took a step out of his embrace and stood facing him. “You didn’t even care that I was gone.”

Magnus straightened, eyes narrowed in confusion. “What are you talking about? I’ve been looking for you since this morning. I was going out of my mind.”

Zara shook her head. “Reggie had no trouble finding me.”

“Well, you know what?” He broke off with a low growl in his throat. “Fuck it!” He grabbed her wrists before she could fathom what he was up to. He slapped the palms to his cheeks and glowered down at her. “Go ahead. See for yourself.”

Zara waited for the familiar wave of images to flood from him to her. She waited for the sounds and dancing lights, for the prickling sensations. All the things that took her into another person’s memories and thoughts. Only, there was none. Her mind was a quiet place with only her own voice to keep her company.

“I can’t.” She tugged free of his touch. “I can’t hear anything.”

Magnus sighed and shoved a hand back through his hair. He exhaled again and went to drop down on the corner of the bed. His forearms rested on his thighs and he leaned forward.

“I looked, Zara. From the second I heard you call for me—”

Zara blinked. “Call for you?”

Magnus hesitated. “I heard you say my name. You were terrified. I had no fucking idea where you were.” He rubbed at his face. “I went to every contact I have, hoping someone knew where you were. I mean, how hard was it to find a girl with wings? But no one had seen you. I never, not even for a second, thought you’d ever go there, not … there! Not after what they did.”

“I didn’t have a choice.”

Dark flames leaped in his eyes when they rose to meet hers. “You could have stayed. I don’t give a shit what my dad said. You should have talked to me.”

“You wanted nothing to do with me!” She shot back. “You would barely look at me.”

“My mother was just murdered in front of my eyes!” He sprung to his feet, a towering wall of rage. “I was feeling slightly out of place. I needed a damn minute, okay? I’m not a fucking machine.”

Neither of them spoke a long moment. Their labored breaths rushed between them, a chaotic uproar of all their pent-up frustrations. The air hummed between them with an electric charge.

“You didn’t need to be a machine,” she barked back. “I was right there, but you turned your back on me. You all did, because of something completely out of my control. What was I supposed to think, Magnus?”

“You’re supposed to be the one who sees everything and knows everything,” he retorted. “How did you not see that I did need you? That I still need you.”

Zara faltered in her anger and stared at him. “Do you?”

The heat in his eyes dimmed a notch. “You know I do.”

“Then why did you let me go?”

His gaze averted away from her. “Because I thought I knew why you left.”

“You did?”

He scratched his forehead lightly with the nail of his index finger. “I thought I did.”

“Why did you think I left?”

He chewed on his lip some more, his eyes focused on the tiny, pearl buttons down the front of her nightgown. “I’m not afraid of very much,” he said instead. “There isn’t much that I can’t handle … except losing the people I love.” He pushed his gaze up to hers once more. “I can’t, not after what happened with Osha and the twins. I let them down. I didn’t protect them. It was my job and I failed.”

“Magnus…”

He shook his head. “Let me finish.” He waited for her nod before resuming. “I made it my mission to protect my parents and my brothers. Then Riley came along and Valkyrie. Now you, and the boys, and one day Daphne and any future kids that come into the family. The circle of people I would give my life for is reasonably small, but they mean everything to me. You mean everything to me. If I lost you…” he trailed off with a hard shake of his head. His jaw creaked where the muscles bunched near his molars. His features flexed once as if in pain, warping his scars into angry ropes, but it was gone before she could be sure she saw it. “Christ, if I lost you, I’d lose my fucking mind. You were never supposed to be this important to me, but now that you’re here, all I can think about is keeping you safe, keeping you happy. Only, I can’t. How can I when I let my own mother die? How can you ever believe in me when I … when I failed you both? How can you trust that I can be the man you deserve when everyone I care about dies on my watch?”

She waited until he’d run out of words before reaching for him. She took his face between her palms and pulled him in for a kiss.

“I have never once doubted your ability to keep me safe. There is no one I trust more.”

He narrowed his eyes almost playfully. “How do I know that’s not the drugs talking?”

Zara chuckled. “I’ll prove it.”

She wasn’t sure it would work when her senses were dulled, but the moment his lips touched hers, she opened everything to him. She let every secret, every doubt, fear, and hope spill between them. She showed him five-year-old Zara being led up the steps to the auction block, a chain hooked into the metal corset strapped across her tiny chest, over a crisp, white tunic. Her white locks hung to the middle of her thin back, fine strands that gleamed in the grimy light. Demons roared below, a sea of clicking talons and rustling wings. Fangs gnashed with blood thirsty enthusiasm. Child-Zara peered over the crowd, violet eyes wet with tears and glassy with fear.

The scene shifted and she was tethered behind a creaking carriage, being pulled away from the stage. Her bare feet stumbled on the uneven earth and she landed on her knees. Her cry of pain was swallowed by the crack of the whip and the clap of hooves. The driver never even glanced back as she was dragged four feet on her stomach. Her palms and knees ran with blood when she finally managed to get to her feet. Her dress, once a starling white was torn and filthy. Her face was stained with dirt and streaked in all the places her tears washed down her cheeks.

“Zara…”

The anger in his voice tightened her hold on him. She kissed him harder.

“Shhh.”

She fast forwarded to her arrival at Suazar’s castle. She showed him the closet he’d given her to sleep in, the thin, lumpy mattress on a bed of sharp springs and the single, rusted bucket she had to figure out how to use.

Magnus broke the kiss and raised his head. Their gazes tangled, a wordless embrace far more intimate than any act. He touched her face, stroked a finger over her lips. He replaced the digit with a feather light kiss.

Zara took him back to Suazar’s castle with its gray, stone walls and slippery floors. She showed him the stool he kept in the corner of the throne room where she was to sit and wait for predictions and the nights she lay awake listening to the screams of the other children as they were taken from their cages. And their sobs when they were returned.

“Jesus,” Magnus breathed, raising his head again.

She skimmed her thumb lightly over his scar. “Would you like me to stop?”

His eyes said yes, but he kissed her, urging her to continue.

She took him away from the rest, going two years into the future where two Casters raided the castle. It was a crisp autumn. Zara remembered only because the stone walls of her room seemed to breathe with the chill. She hadn’t been able to sleep, not with all the screaming coming from down the hall. Suazar had brought a trio of human children back with him from the market. Zara hadn’t seen them, but they seemed to cry louder and harder than their demon cage mates. The youngest of the three was a boy who kept wailing for his mommy. It was a relentless, gasping sob that wouldn’t stop, not even when he was hyperventilating and throwing up. The sound had been terrible. Gut wrenching. Zara had known she had to do something. Broken was how Suazar liked them, broken and tormented. If the boy didn’t stop, he’d be next. She had no idea at the time that the castle had already been intruded by the two men. They stormed through the corridors, blades at their sides. One fair with wavy blond hair. The other…

Magnus gasped and jerked back. “I remember that!” He wheezed staring down at her with a look of horror.

“You saved me that day,” she murmured. “I hadn’t realized until that night you let Akilah into my head. It was so long ago. We were both younger. You didn’t have your scars, your hair was shorter, and I saw you through an eight-year-old’s eyes, but I remember you. You wanted so badly to save those children.”

Magnus nodded mutely.

Zara touched his lips with the tips of her fingers. “And you did, only, you saved me, too. You killed Suazar.”

“I don’t remember you.”

“You do. You found me with that little boy in the closet. He was the only one I could free. I thought I could help him escape, but Suazar realized he was missing before we even made it down the corridor. I hid us in the closet and was waiting for an opening. He found us.” She waited while he worked that over in his head. She grinned when he remained oblivious. “You came in with your blade and took him down with a single blow. I thought you were amazing. Then you saw us and my heart nearly stopped. I thought you were going to kill me, too.”

“Jesus.” He squeezed his eyes closed. “It was you.” His eyes opened. “You were the little girl I…” he trailed off and lowered his chin. “I left you behind.”

She gave a little shrug. “You weren’t there for me. I was just a demon child.”

“I shouldn’t have left you. You were just a kid.”

Zara chuckled. “Casters have no jurisdiction over demon children,” she reminded him.

“But I just left you there,” he said again. “I took the boy and I … I just left. I never even thought about you again.”

“I thought about you for a while,” she admitted. “I sometimes wondered where you were or what you were doing, but your face started fading over time and eventually, you became a distant memory. I probably never would have remembered if you hadn’t gone into my head.”

Magnus shook his head slowly. “The first time I saw you in the Isle of Cree, I could have sworn I knew you.” His features softened, matching the brush of his fingers gliding gently back through the strands of hair at her temple. “You were so familiar.”

Zara smiled and captured his hand. “But the reason I showed you any of that was to prove that you already saved me from one of the worst times of my life. Then again from the desert and Damier. And again tonight. So, you see? You have never once given me reason to think you couldn’t keep me safe.”

His hands brushed down the lines of her spine and latched onto the curves of her backside. In a single motion, he lifted her up and took her to bed.

She held him close when he captured her lips again. Her fingers tangled through the silky strands at the back of his head, anchoring him to her as he shifted his weight more solidly over her. His palm drifted the hills and valleys along her side to set claim upon her hip, and he tugged her closer.

Magnus bumped their noses together once. “You never should have been in that damn place.”

“Where did you think I would go?”

He shook his head. “Anywhere, but there. If I had known…” His muscles bunched in his jaw. “It doesn’t matter. You never should have left.”

“You said I called you?”

His frown remained, but the question distracted him from his annoyance. “This morning. I heard you.”

She shook her head slowly. “That isn’t possible. We were too far apart. My powers don’t work at that distance.”

“I heard you as clearly as I can hear you now,” he protested. “And I felt you. Whatever it was, you were scared.”

The only time she could remember being scared was after she’d had the drosen, but by then, Magnus had already been on his way.

“I had an accident in the tub,” she recalled. “It was morning. I had a vision while taking a bath. I was pulled under. I couldn’t breathe, or find my way out. I think I remember calling your name, but … it couldn’t have actually worked.”

“It worked. I heard you. I nearly broke my neck running down the stairs.”

“Oh!” she gasped in comprehension. “When I saw Reggie, he mentioned something about you tearing out of the house earlier.”

Magnus snorted. “I’d like to know how he found you so quickly. I spent the entire day scouring the city. He was already home when I got back. That’s when he told me. I couldn’t believe it.”

Zara winced inwardly. “It wasn’t my idea, Magnus. I never wanted to go there. Jacinda was waiting for me when I left here and she—”

“Jacinda?”

She realized she hadn’t told him that part, or any of the other important parts.

“It was a trap. The whole thing. Everything.”

“Hey, whoa, what are you doing?” He tried to stop her when she struggled to sit up. “You need to rest.”

Zara shook her head wildly. “No, you need to know this. Baron was in on it. He set it all up. He sold me to Sauzar.”

“What?” he growled, but Zara rushed on, afraid she might forget if she didn’t get it all out.

“When Sauzar died, he sent someone, a woman, to take me to the Isle of Cree and the temple. I was never an oracle. I mean, I was, but only because Baron got me in. He said it was a place to keep me safe, but he was lying.”

“Sweetheart, slow down. You’re talking too fast.”

“No, please, please, you need to listen to me.” Her fingers closed into the lapel of his coat. “He lied. I was a … a...” The word completely escaped her and the more she tried to snatch at it, the further it vanished. “Ugh!”

“Just slow down,” he urged, taking her hand. “What was he lying about?”

“Keeping me safe!” she cried. “He knew, all this time, all these centuries, he knew.”

“Knew what?”

Breathing hard, she looked into his eyes. “That I would love you.”

The fingers wrapped around hers tightened. His features softened.

“Zara...”

“He sent men to get me from the temple,” she continued, slower now, as if declaring her love for him had somehow calmed the urgency building like a geyser inside her. “He said he only sent them to bring me back, but they knocked me out and chained me inside that wagon and left me in the desert. Then he sent you to get me, knowing what you were to me, knowing you would bring me home to your family.”

“He told us as much when he was here last,” Magnus reminded her. “He was playing matchmaker.”

“No, you don’t understand.” Tears welled, blurring his beautiful face. “He put me here to spy on you. He killed your mom so you would turn on me and give me a reason to betray you.”

He brushed lightly at the lonely tear that tumbled down her cheek. “He clearly doesn’t know you very well.”

She blinked. “You don’t think I told him?”

“No, I don’t.” He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. “You’re the most stubborn woman I know, but you’re not a traitor.”

Zara lay down on her side, still facing him. “I didn’t tell him anything, but he tried to get it from my head. When he couldn’t, he thought I needed new loyalties, or at least something to root me to the south, to solidify my place.” She paused, because this was something even she hadn’t had a chance to consider until that moment. “I think he wanted me to give birth to the next line of Draconian royal bloods … with Kyros. No, I’m sure of it. Kyros kept talking about duty and producing an heir. It wasn’t his idea. He didn’t really want to do it.”

“Bullshit,” Magnus muttered. “He may not have wanted to, but he sure as fuck didn’t try hard enough not to.”

“Reggie tried to get me to leave, but I couldn’t. They were going to kill him if I didn’t stay.”

“I know. He told us everything. Now,” he kissed her temple lightly, “enough. You need to rest.”

“Fine, but first...” She tugged at the collar of his coat. “Undress and get into bed. I’ve missed you.”

Zara woke to the soft whisper of Magnus’s breath against her ear and the steady rumble of his chest vibrating along her back. The sun poured through the crack in the curtains and created a sharp spear across their intertwined bodies where his arm was a heavy weight hooked around her middle, anchoring her to him. Beneath the sheets, their naked bodies fit together in a perfect curve in all the places that mattered. It was almost a shame that he’d been so adamant about her resting the previous night. He’d ignored all her assurances that she was fine enough for that, that her desire for him was purely her own. It hadn’t mattered. He vehemently insisted he wanted her fully of her own mind and will when he took her. It was maddening, but she’d accepted it.

On the eve of a new day, however...

Her hips rolled back against the hard length of man nestled between them. It pulsed against her lower back, only mere inches from where it should have been, wedged deep inside her. Its close proximity sent warm ripples of heat along her skin. It fanned the flames burning in the pit of her stomach. It was enough to make her want to cry in frustration.

“If you want him,” came the husky drawl in her ear. “Then take him.”

The gravely command was followed by the possessive claim of her breast in one palm. She watched, fascinated by his fingers toying with the nipple. The hardened tips were pinched between his thumb and index.

Zara gasped under the sweet assault. Her back arched, demanding more while inviting him to take it all.

Her own hand delved between their legs and took the bulge pushing back against her. His thick weight slipped warm and smooth into her palm. She stroked it, enthralled by the freedom and knowledge that it belonged to her and only her.

Magnus gave a grunt that scuttled all down her spine. His breath washed into her ear, the ragged growl of a wild animal.

Then he was on her, in her, a violent plunge she never saw coming until he was stretching her to her full capacity. The full length of him pulsed right up against her base. Fine flickers of pain cobwebbed along her channel, tangling with the sweet rise of passion intensified by the raw, feral snarl twisting his gorgeous features.

He groaned deep in his chest, the self-satisfied grumble of a beast taking what belonged to him.

Zara all but came on the spot.

“I told you to take it,” he hissed, pulling his hips back only to drive in again. “Now, I’m going to take you.”

Lost in the roaring storm building around them, Zara barely noticed that the words were in her head, or that every thrust slammed the headboard into the wall. There was nothing but the race of two bodies colliding over and over again in a war as old as time. Hands and nails, lips and teeth charged into battle, weapons of pleasure and violence staking claim.

Zara came without warning. The pressure slingshot her back off the mattress and her head against the pillow. Her entire body tore at the seams. Limbs convulsed. Nails gouged into the taut muscles of his backside, driving him deep into the place begging for more. Her walls gripped him in their frenzy, coating him in the slick waves of her release.

“Oh fuck…”

Hot, sticky heat sprayed inside her. It warmed her insides in a way that sent a new wave of euphoria slamming into her.

He slipped free, drenched and soft. The loss expelled a slow trickle of liquid as if he’d been the cork keeping it all in.

Zara shivered. Her gaze lifted to his still hovering inches from hers. She offered him a small grin.

He kissed her once, hard.

“That shouldn’t have happened,” he panted. “I shouldn’t have come in you,” he clarified.

That wasn’t the sort of conversation she wanted to have after an incredible orgasm. It was enough to kill the wind in her sails.

“I’m not trying to be a dick, sweetheart,” he stressed. “We just can’t have a baby right now. It would be…”

“I know,” she cut him off. “Irresponsible.”

He sighed. “Yeah, but we will. I promise. I want as many as you’ll give me.”

That made her chuckle. “Little demon, dragon, selkie babies? I wonder what that will look like.”

He kissed the tip of her nose. “Adorable … and dangerous.” He grinned. “Basically, perfect.”

Zara laughed and sat up. “We should get breakfast. I want to see Agnus.”

Magnus blew out a breath filled with exasperation. “Christ, please do. She’s been driving me fucking crazy since you left. Which reminds me.” He took ahold of her middle and pulled her to him. “Don’t leave like that again. This is your home. No one has the right to tell you to leave it, understand?”

“But…”

“No one,” he repeated firmly. “You’re not an outsider. You’re a Maxwell. No matter what anyone says. Now,” he rolled off the bed, “come conserve water with me.”

It became clear almost forty minutes later that Magnus had no intentions of conserving water. By the time he pulled a trembling Zara from the shower and bundled her up in a towel, the water was frigid, but the time spent in it had been well worth it.

He rubbed her down before grabbing a towel for himself and drying off.

Zara watched him, enjoying the artwork of muscles and tendons crafting all the outside parts of him. The hard bulges created dips that funneled droplets of water all over him the way her hands had been in the shower. They crisscrossed over his chest and down the valley between his pecs to travel the maze of squares all down his stomach to the neat patch of hair cushioning the base of his very impressive tool.

“Did you just call him a tool?” Towel bunched at his chest, Magnus raised his head and peered at her through wet coils of hair.

Zara felt the heat pool in her cheeks. “Did I say that out loud? Out loud in my head?” she corrected.

Face still obscured, Magnus pivoted on one heel to face her. “Don’t change the subject and don’t objectify him. He’s very sensitive.” His mouth twitched in a badly suppressed grin when she burst out laughing. “It’s bad enough you’re ogling him like some piece of meat.” He jabbed a finger at her. “Respect, woman. Respect.”

She caught the finger and slipped into his space with just a step forward. His free hand tossed aside the towel and reached to circle her waist. He pulled her in the rest of the way. His face lowered to hers, almost in a kiss only to change course and nuzzle the side of her cheek with his nose. It was such a small, simple gesture, but the playfulness of the moment made her want to stay there, locked in that room forever. It made her want to keep him away from all the things that would and could happen the second they opened that door, inevitable things that would take him away from her.

“Nothing could ever take me away from you,” he murmured into her jawline.

Zara drew back, absolutely certain that had been in her head only. “You can hear me?”

His dark eyes surveyed her face. “All night. I thought you knew.”

All her muscles stiffened. “Could everyone hear me?” The moment she asked it, she already knew. She could feel the absence of her security, the absence of her wall. “For how long?”

He shrugged. “Since just before we rescued you.”

Since the drosen, she realized. Between that and the sleeping potion Lae had mixed inside, it must have relaxed her control. She hadn’t even noticed she wasn’t keeping her door in place. She’d forgotten all about it.

“Do you think they heard us…?” she let her implication hang in the room between them.

Magnus raised one shoulder even as he shook his head. “I guess that depends on how loud your inner voice is.”

Aside from Baron, she hadn’t met any other telepaths. No one had ever told her if she was too loud with her thoughts. She had no idea.

“It’s fine.” Magnus touched her bare arm lightly. “I don’t think anyone heard anything.”

She could only hope not. The family did not need to be privy to her private moments. The reality of it, the irony, made her want to cringe. She had always known her mind reading abilities made people uncomfortable, yet she never understood how much until she was on the receiving end. It was all she could do to keep from barricading herself in the room until people forgot about her.

“No one’s going to forget you.” Magnus moved past her towards the bedroom. “And you’re not staying in here.”

Zara scowled at his back moving away from her. She followed.

“That’s very annoying.”

Half buried in the closet, Magnus barely glanced up. “What is?”

“You, in my head.”

A single t-shirt in hand, he turned slowly. “Excuse me?”

A deep flush worked up her throat. “I don’t do it on purpose.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow. “Neither am I.” He dropped the towel, unabashed. “You just think loud … loudly?”

Recognizing what he was doing, Zara pursed her lips and turned away. She stalked to the dresser and rummaged inside for an outfit. All the while, she systematically rebuilt her walls and inserted the door. The whole time, she marveled at how easily it had all come undone. It also frightened her. How could she be trusted to keep any secrets if her mind was so easily conquered? She would need to work on it, make it stronger, bigger, higher. It needed to be impenetrable.

“Not too high.” Magnus came up behind her and lightly took her hips between his hands. “My back isn’t what it used to be.”

Zara giggled despite herself. “Are you getting old, Caster?”

His hands slipped beneath the towel and unraveled the thick material. It came undone and dropped at her feet, leaving her bare to the coolness in the room and the heat in his palms. The latter settled on her waists and pulled her back to his chest.

“Never too old for what you need.”

Zara moaned and pushed back against the naked bulge, urging him to prove it.

He did, right there up against the dresser. The items on top rattled. Some rolled off and crashed to the floor, but he never slowed, never stopped. He pounded into her until she was sure she’d bruise. But the exquisite pain was too delicious to ignore.

Gideon and Reggie were already in the dining area when Zara followed Magnus down. The tables were all claimed by the refugees, leaving a lot of people to stand around the outer edges with their plates. A few clustered along the steps and counter. The atmosphere held the lingering cloud of loss, but not nearly as thick. Most of them were used to losing people, funerals every other day had become a normal occurrence for them, as had moving on. Already, a few were cracking smiles and chatting normally. A few of the older women wore black gowns in respect, but they were talking amongst themselves with the same easy fluidity.

The only ones truly affected, Zara noted, were the wives and children of those buried, those who had stood up and fought. She felt the heavy weight of their grief beneath the careful masks they kept in place for the little ones too young to understand what had happened. Her heart went out to them, along with her guilt. Her warning had come too late, or maybe they would have been better prepared. She should have been focusing rather than worrying about getting Magnus breakfast. If she had been, he wouldn’t have nearly been impaled by an arrow. The lives lost were on her.

“No, it’s not,” Magnus interrupted.

“I had one job and I failed.”

“Do you think they could have gotten that close without help? They’re stealthy, but not that stealthy.”

“What are you saying?”

He turned her to face him. “I’m saying, I think Baron kept them hidden from you, knowing you were the only one who could sense them coming. Otherwise, they never would have gotten that close without us knowing.”

He had a point. The only time she couldn’t sense someone approaching was Baron, and the angel. An attack that large, she should have seen it. She would have … unless she was being blocked.

But thoughts of Baron brought up another important matter she needed to talk to him about, one that was interrupted by an elated squeak.

“Rapunzel!” Agnus shoved away from a group of women and sprinted forward. “Am I happy to see you! I thought he killed you.”

Magnus glowered at her. “Thanks.”

“You’re the one with the kill room.”

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Zara interrupted before Magnus could respond.

Agnus nodded. “I thought maybe you didn’t make it.” All traces of humor vanished from her face. “I mean, you shoved me in my room and I didn’t see you again.”

Zara’s heart wrenched. “I’m sorry. I should have come to see you after.”

Agnus shook her head, but her mind was a busy nest of carefully concealed terror. There was a very clear picture of her parents shoving her beneath her bed and telling her to stay until they returned for her, only to never come back. Zara’s inconsideration had been like living that all over again.

“I’m so sorry, Agnus.” She reached for the girl’s hand. “I was terrible to you.”

“Hey, it’s cool.” She tugged her hands free uncomfortably. “Not like I cared or anything, but you guys are the only fun ones here, so…” No amount of false bravado masked the relief she attempted to conceal behind a lopsided grin. She turned big eyes to Magnus. “So, did you get all the bad guys, or should we all sleep with one eye open?”

Magnus flicked her nose. “Being the brat that you are, you should anyway.”

“Rapunzel won’t let you hurt me. She likes me.”

Magnus snorted. “I guess there’s no accounting for taste.”

Angus smirked smartly. “No, there really isn’t.”

She spun and was gone before Magnus could get the implication and strangle her.

“That shit!” he huffed.

Zara laughed and turned towards the three tables lined together along the wall, supporting the breakfast. She found herself a plate and started heaping eggs onto it, her mind instinctively circling the room. No one got more than a few seconds, just enough time for her to decide who was betraying them. Baron’s words hadn’t been forgotten by her. Someone in that house was working for the demon, was taking him information and she was going to find them.

But everyone she stopped on, their minds were clean. Each one resonated with their pain and desire to one day return home, but nothing about being Baron’s spy. It made her wonder if maybe she was wrong. Baron had proven he simply just knew things, but him knowing exactly what Liam had said to Zara was more than a prediction.

“What is it?” Magnus appeared at her side. His hands rested on the small of her back, warm and reassuring.

Zara turned away from the food and faced him. “I don’t know. I just have this feeling … I’m…” She shook her head. “I can’t explain it.”

“An attack?”

“Oh, no, no, no, nothing like that.” She took a deep breath and tried again. “When I was in the south, I learned something.” she lowered her voice. “I think Baron has a spy here in the house.” She paused and glanced at all the faces. “I just can’t find who it is.”

Magnus didn’t question her, but gave a tight nod. “Family meeting after breakfast.”

Zara didn’t argue, nor was she given the chance to when Valkyrie marched in the way only she knew how, as if on a mission, yet oddly graceful. Octavian and Riley were a few steps behind her, each with a kid. They spotted Zara and Magnus and headed straight for them. Valkyrie went to stand with her husband and Reggie by the counters.

Zara instinctively bolted her inner door shut, trapping all her private thoughts and Magnus on the other side. She’d sealed it into place the instant they’d left the seclusion of their bedroom, but she tested its sturdiness as the group approached, no longer trusting herself to be so lax about it.

“Morning,” Riley said cheerfully, but with a hint of sly amusement that immediately brought a warmth to Zara’s cheeks. “Sleep well?”

Magnus shot her a glower that only widened the girl’s grin, but she knelt down to Otis’s level and peered into the boy’s golden eyes.

“Can you help your brother get some breakfast?”

The wolf cub nodded and waited for Octavian to lower Alec to the ground. He took the younger boy’s hand and led him to the tables. The adults watched as he handed Alec a plate and started piling things on it.

“They’re so sweet,” Zara said.

“They’re not demon, dragon, selkie babies, but yes, I love them,” Riley said with a teasing smirk.

Zara groaned and dropped her hot face into her hands.

Riley burst out laughing, a deep, rumbling sound of triumph that bordered on demonic. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry!” she hooted, holding her stomach. “Octavian made me promise not to say anything, but I just had to. I’m sorry. It was too funny to pass up.”

“I am so sorry,” Zara began, braving the world just enough to lower her hands to her mouth. “I had no idea my walls were down.”

Riley snickered. “It’s fine. I’m only teasing you anyway. It’s nice to see you’re normal under that cool, gorgeous façade you have going on.”

Zara shook her head, the heat of her face burning her eyes. “I am mortified.”

“Oh please.” Riley waved a dismissive hand. “Do you know how many times Octavian and I have been walked in on? Or how many times I’ve passed Gideon’s room and heard spanking? It’s basically the same thing. Besides, sooner or later, you’ll hear or see one of us anyway. There really are no secrets in this family.”

Zara frowned. “Spanking?”

As if materializing by the sheer power of the word, Gideon appeared next to Riley.

“Someone say spanking?”

Riley slanted Zara a sidelong glance that said, see?

Gideon didn’t notice the exchange. He focused on Zara’s face with a raised eyebrow.

“You,” he said with a narrowing of his eyes, “are far dirtier than you pretend to be.”

“Right?” Riley piped in, thrilled that someone else agreed with her.

Zara wanted to die. She wanted to simply melt into a puddle and evaporate on the spot, but all she could do was stand there and pray for it to end once everyone got it out of their systems.

“It’s always the cute, shy ones.” Gideon shook his head slowly, as if disappointed. “But you’re perfect for Mr. Stick-In-The-Butt. He needs a little freaky to help loosen up his … tool.”

Magnus shoved him from behind. “Back off.”

Gideon smirked and started to speak when a metallic clattering startled all of them. Heads pivoted to the buffet tables and the little girl standing over a dropped fork. The scene wouldn’t have been nearly so fascinating if it weren’t for Alec.

The boy had abandoned his brother at the sound and hurried to the girl balancing a full plate and a glass of orange juice while trying to figure out how to get her fork off the ground. Any other time, the sight would have been endearing, and it nearly was when Alec plucked the utensil up and held it out to her. Next to Zara, Riley made a soft clicking sound of delight as a mother would at her child’s thoughtfulness, but it didn’t last.

The girl—possibly seven or eight—squeaked as if he’d presented her with a snake and scrambled back. The cup of juice in her hand plummeted to the ground, an arc of bright yellow. It struck the wood straight on its bottom and sprayed upwards with the impact.

Alec jumped and dropped the fork. It landed with a muffled clunk in the puddle. He scrambled back away from it and the girl now calling for her father. Otis ran to his brother. He clamped a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder and stepped between him and the girl.

Zara saw a mental flash of the girl’s father and the crack of his backhand that would send Otis to the ground, lip bloody. She had just enough time to think, “No,” but Octavian was already moving forward, eating the distance on two long strides. He reached the boys as the father reached the girl.

The entire group seemed to freeze for a split second. Gazes clashed, each sizing up the other. The father was built, tall and impressive with a handsome face and what Zara thought were usually kind eyes. Only they were dark with fear and anger. His mind was a white noise of hate, not for Octavian, but the boys.

“Keep that beast away from my daughter,” he bit out, successfully alerting the attention of everyone in the diner.

Heads turned to watch the commotion. Chairs creaked as weight shifted to get a better look. Alec shrank under the scrutiny. His tiny body seemed to pull into itself, while Otis grew. Small hands balled into five coils of rage. They trembled at his sides as he glowered at the man with eyes the reflective yellow of a large dog. Lips pulled back over serrated fangs.

“He’s not a beast!”

Zara sucked in a breath, images of disaster overlapping in front of her, turning darker with every second the boy wasn’t calmed and his change consumed him.

“That’s my kid,” Octavian stated with a sharp point that warned the man to tread carefully.

“Your kid is a monster,” the man barked. “His kind don’t belong in normal society, they don’t belong inside. They’re animals. They should be chained in the yard. Look at him!”

“Mother fucker!” Riley’s low snarl continued with one step forward from the redhead.

Zara caught her arm. “No.”

Riley stopped, but Zara could feel the tension coursing beneath her cold skin; she was seconds away from turning, from ripping the man’s head off. She was seconds away from having the veil community turn on them in the war. That second defined everything.

“The only animal you should be worried about is me.” Octavian straightened to his full height, drastically dwarfing the other man. “My sons belong here. This is their home. If that upsets you, you’re welcome to find the door. In fact, you probably should, because the next time you talk to them like that, I will do things to you that will make you wish those animals had killed you.”

The coloring bled from the man’s face, leaving a chalky paleness in its place. His brown eyes went from Octavian to the two round faces peeking out behind his legs. A few choice words only Zara could hear fluttered through his thoughts, but he grabbed his daughter and rushed her back to their table.

“That goes for the rest of you as well.” Octavian turned to the others in the room. “I hear or see one thing I don’t like regarding my kids, you’ll answer to me.”

Satisfied he’d made his point, he scooped Alec up into his arms, took the plate Otis had filled for him off the table, and started towards the counters.

Otis watched him, fangs and claws gone. There was realization on his face, a dawning wonder that mirrored the surprise and lightness glowing inside him.

“Huh,” he murmured to himself.

He caught Zara’s eye and she offered him a small grin as if to say, see?

Otis grinned back, a lopsided, bemused little quirk.

“Hey.” Octavian had stopped and was looking back. “Come on. Cold eggs are gross.”

Otis shared another glance with Zara before grabbing his plate and hurrying after the man.

Octavian set Alec on the counter with his food. He plucked Otis up and placed him next to his brother. Then he just stood there, looking between the two before saying evenly, “People are assholes. They’ll always fear things they don’t understand, but you’re not monsters, do you understand me?”

Alec nodded.

Otis didn’t. He was still staring at Octavian with a wariness that narrowed his eyes apprehensively.

Octavian noticed. His attention went to the other boy. “I’m proud of you for always having your brother’s back. That’s what a big brother does, but you,” he poked Otis lightly in the belly, “we’re going to work on that temper of yours, do you hear me? You’re not strays anymore. You’re Maxwells now, you’re part of this family and that means something. Do you understand?”

Tears shone vividly in the boy’s eyes. It strained in the tightness gripping his jawline and mashing his lips together. His throat muscles rose and fell hard once, before his chin followed.