A while turned out to be right, and Ester kept turning up the music every time the men began to argue. Although there wasn’t quite as much pounding of flesh as Nya might have expected, there was some verbal conflict. With the door closed, it was tough to pull out specifics of what was being said.

She’d had a few swigs of wine from the bottle Ester had brought into the bedroom and was feeling buzzed. It was easier to be relaxed about what might be going on out there between the men she cared about when she had Ester keeping her entertained.

The cards were still spread on the bed, but Nya was laughing at one of Ester’s stories and couldn’t remember what game they were playing.

When the door opened and Archer came in, it took Nya a minute to regain her breath.

Leaping off the bed, she went toward him. “What happened?” she asked.

“You deserve a fucking gold medal,” Archer said, grasping her chin. “I thought for sure you’d be out ten times checking on us.”

“I trusted you,” she said, caressing his jaw. “What happened?”

“He’s going to give Gio a chance. We’re setting up a meet in a couple of days. We’ll find out what’s going on, Taggert’s agreed to hear Gio out and work with him if everything checks out.” Her mouth fell open. “He’s in the bathroom again, he knows it’s the only way he’ll get clean and he’s promised he won’t touch the drugs again.”

Turning around, Nya could only gape at Ester who was finishing the last of her wine. “Told you, daughter,” Ester said, swinging her arm wide as she rose from the bed. Dumping the empty wine bottle on the dresser, she went back to the bed to turn off the music and gather up the cards. “I fucking told you!”

Stuffing everything into her bag, Ester walked over, and slapped a hand to Nya’s opposite cheek so she could smack a kiss to her cheekbone. She pinched her son’s face before strutting out of the room.

Nya went after her to see Derren standing at the other end of the table, sliding a knife into its sheath. “You looking for a ride, bitch?” he asked. Ester was already sashaying towards him. Archer came into the hall and put his hands on the sides of Nya’s neck. “Catch up tomorrow, son.”

Derren lifted his hand high above his head in a backwards wave as he held the door open for Ester who was blowing them kisses and reversing out of the apartment. The door closed a few seconds later.

“They’re going home together?” she asked, wondering why Ester wasn’t staying here. “Like, together?”

“Who the fuck knows, I don’t ask,” he said, kissing the top of her head.

There were open food boxes on the breakfast bar beside beer bottles, and she guessed that the mess was driving him insane. “He’ll look after her,” Nya muttered to herself.

“Grab your purse, I’ll take you home,” he said, but she spun on the spot.

“I want to stay the night,” she said. “Look at this mess; you have to clean that up. I can help.”

But she knew what he was like, anything she did he would probably re-do or at least check twice before he relaxed. “You know the rules,” he murmured, kissing her head. “You don’t spend the night while I have company.”

“This isn’t any company. Even if Tag got loose, he wouldn’t hurt me. Besides, whatever the fuck you did to brainwash him, it sounds like you’ve got him under your fucking control.”

He used his thumbs to raise her jaw and pressed his mouth to hers. “If I make an exception once, you might think I’ll do it again.”

“Tag is the exception,” she said. “Do you really think you’re gonna have him attached to your floor more than once?”

“Not if I can fucking help it.”

Good, that was exactly her point. “Well, let me stay.”

He traced his lips over hers again. “Are you gonna scream for me?”

She prodded his belly. “Don’t make me perform for an audience, Arch. I perform for you when it’s private. I’m tired and confused and—”

“Ok,” he said. “Get your ass into bed.”

“Really?” she asked, exuberant, because she hadn’t really believed that he would relent.

But she didn’t want to go down to her cold, empty apartment alone. Nya wanted to stay here with Archer to find out what he’d done to Tag.

“Sure. Look at that face. How the fuck can I say no to that?”

He’d done the thing he claimed to love to do in exciting her so much. Launching her arms around him, Nya squeezed herself close. “I knew there was a reason I fucking loved you,” she said.

Archer straightened, forcing her off her feet, so she dangled around his neck. “I have to tidy up out here, I’ll be through in a minute, ok?” He stroked his hands down her back to cup her ass.

Digging her teeth into his jaw, Nya climbed higher to kiss his ear. “Be quick.”

“Actually,” he murmured, slipping his hand under her skirt. “I plan to go fucking slow.”

That promise made her tremble. She let him go to drop back onto her feet, not because she wanted his hands off her body or because she didn’t want him to fulfil his promise, but because the longer she detained him, the longer it would take him to join her in bed.

Pressing her back to the hallway wall, she gave him room to get to work. Watching him go into the kitchen to start cleaning up, Nya glanced the other way and saw, for the first time, the hole in the wall by the bathroom door. He’d been so frustrated with himself that he’d caused damage to the apartment that he worked hard to maintain.

She didn’t like that she’d upset him that much, but it did confirm what he’d said. She’d had a power over him that she’d never confronted or accepted. Turning back to observe the man who was working efficiently, she realized how careful she would have to be, because being in control of a weapon as powerful as Archer could lead to destruction if she didn’t wield him carefully.

Protecting him was her primary goal, she’d told him that, and wouldn’t apologize for putting herself in danger for him, but he would do the same for her. He already had, several times. It wouldn’t be easy, but Nya was going to look after him and make sure that he knew he was loved every day. Just as she’d said to him that she didn’t want to perform for an audience, she didn’t want him performing for one either.

Archer needed stability, normality, things he’d never had and always craved. He looked up after stacking a bunch of the food boxes. “I told you to go to bed, Squirm,” he said, but he wasn’t even looking at her, he must have sensed her loitering in the shadows.

“I love you, Chase.” Her use of his first name made him freeze. “And I think I want to do it.”

“Let me finish cleaning up and we will.”

“No,” she said and left the shadow of the hallway. Moving across to lean on the fridge with her forearms pressed between the side of it and her chest, she peeked around the appliance to watch him work. He knew she was there, but the symbolic protection of the machine gave her the confidence to confess her thoughts. “I want you to get me pregnant.”

He stopped and didn’t move for a minute and then his fingers opened and the last of the cartons fell into the trash. Kicking the cupboard closed with his big toe, he lifted his chin to look at her. “How much wine have you had?”

“That’s not why I’m saying this.”

“Then why are you saying it?” he asked. “There’s no fucking way you mean it. If you’re trying to manipulate—”

“I’m not,” she said, coming out from her cover to go to him.

The only lights on in the space were the recessed halogens underneath the upper kitchen units. He had to have installed them himself because she didn’t have anything quite so snazzy at her place.

“Then why?”

“I don’t know, I just feel that what Ester said is true, you know? We’re always gonna work this out. We’re gonna be together forever.”

“So this is a biological clock thing?” he asked and although her hands were on the sides of his ribs, his arms remained loose at his sides. “We can’t have a kid. What the fuck do I know about kids?”

“Plenty,” she said, thinking of the influence Derren had had in Archer’s life and how if Archer applied that to their child, she would be as proud as Ester was when talking about her son.

“I’d have to get a job.”

“We have the club.”

That made him incredulous. “You want to keep running the club while you’re pregnant? That’s not safe, Squirm.”

“I have you and Robbo and the other guys. All of you would keep me safe.”

“And you want me to sit at home every night with a kid while you work the night shift? We both work at night.”

“We’d work it out,” she said. “I don’t have to be present at the club every night. We could take it in turns maybe and you could still do your thing while managing the place, right?”

“I don’t work there.”

Except he could, they could do it together. “What’s mine is yours.”

“A family business?” he asked. “You want to pass along some seedy nightclub to our kid? Don’t you want better for him than we had?”

“He already has better,” she said. “He has us. I’m not gonna be like your mom, I’m not gonna be like mine. I’ll be present. I promise I’ll care for him. I’ll love him—”

“I know,” Archer said, silencing her when he cupped her cheeks and rested his thumbs over her lips. “You’ll make a great mom.” She grinned. “But I can’t knock you up,” he said. “Not yet. We just got back together and your buddy Tag’s in a mess. Protecting you is tough enough, if any bastards tried to come after our kid…”

Nya had gotten herself into trouble plenty over the last few months. When she wasn’t being attacked in the club or chained to Archer’s pipe, she was being cornered by Hexam or committing almost-murder. But as she’d watched him in the kitchen, she’d been so sure that it was right, that she wanted to have a family with this man and she’d never looked at any man and felt that way.

The disappointment weighed heavily on her shoulders because he was right, their lives were far too dangerous. They lived in a bad neighborhood, ran a club full of thugs and were friends with people who would cut them down if it suited an agenda.

Pain consumed his expression. “Don’t do that,” he said. “You’re doing that disappointment thing again.”

“It’s not you,” she said, stroking him. “I’m not disappointed in you. I’m disappointed because you’re right. It was a stupid idea. I’m sorry I brought it up.”

She tried to walk away, but he caught her arm and pulled her back to him. “I’m not saying never,” he said. “Now that I know it’s what you want, I’ll make it happen. I promise. Just… gimme some time, ok?” Tracing his fingertips down her jaw and over her lips, he soothed her with a kiss. “I love you, baby. You know I’d give you anything.” She nodded because with the combination of the wine and the emotion of the last few days, Nya didn’t trust herself not to burst into tears if she opened her mouth. “I’ll buy you a nice house.” He smiled in a way that begged her to smile back. “Somewhere real nice, with a yard… and a porch. In a real safe neighborhood. Real safe, Ny.”

The thought was nice and she appreciated it, but she’d never had anything like that and neither had he. Derren had mocked the idea of Walton Mountain. They would never have a safe middle-class life. It just wouldn’t happen for them. But did she want to bring a child up in the same way she and Archer had been raised? Surrounded by depravity and crime?

At least she could be sure that they would be good, decent parents, but Archer still wouldn’t even live with her and if he kept doing what he did, he would always be in danger. He’d always managed to keep himself safe and his work had never impacted her.

It was Tag they had to get straightened out. It was because of him she’d been threatened. If anything was to happen to their children, it would be on the back of Tag’s screw up. But Archer knew how to charm, blackmail, and manipulate, so he would always keep their family safe.

“Are you going to go to bed now, sweetheart?” he asked, lowering to rest his forehead on hers. “I’ll be through in a minute.”

He kissed her, but she kept her lips closed because her disappointment hadn’t waned. It would in the sober light of day. When she got caught up in the Sizzle renovations, and distracted by what Tag was up to, she would remember how she liked her independent life and how awful an idea it was to bring a child into the darkness of the world they lived in.

He didn’t say anything else after she left, although he held her hand for quite a while. Nya was pleased that he’d said she could sleep in his bed, except she wasn’t sure she felt much in the mood to make love anymore.

Tidying the last of the things in the bedroom, she turned down the bed and stripped off her clothes. That was when she noticed the empty wine bottle on the dresser. If it had been just her, she’d have left it there and dealt with it in the morning, but having trash in the room would drive Archer insane.

Grabbing the neck of the bottle, she took it out of the room. As she went up the hall, she heard his voice, “Yeah, we’re on schedule,” Archer said and she slowed to register that he was still in the kitchen somewhere near the laundry closet, which was on the other side of the fridge. “No, she doesn’t suspect anything, why would she?” Nya clutched the bottle closer. “Look, I told you I’d set it up and I have… You worry about holding up your end, Gio. I’ll make the delivery on time…” He said nothing for a few seconds, “I don’t give a fuck…Once you have him, he’s yours… Yeah, I’ll make sure she doesn’t ask any questions… It’s a piece of piss to keep her sweet. Trust me, I know how to work her… Do you have the fifty?”

Fifty. Like the fifty grand that was apparently being used to pay debts. Nya couldn’t take the bottle into the kitchen now; she began to move backwards into the shadow of the hall, fearful that Archer could appear at any minute.

She went into the bedroom, closed the door, and put the bottle on the dresser without making a sound. Why would Archer be talking to Gio, talking about deliveries and money and keeping someone sweet. The only “she” they could be talking about was her, because as far as Nya knew, she was the only woman they were both associated with. Was she being played? Not by Archer… except he’d been quick to break up with her and his turnaround was just as abrupt. Being together was the best way to manipulate her because he did have a way of distracting her with sex.

No one had asked him to kidnap Tag, and he made it seem like he’d done it through kindness. But he’d been wanting to get rid of Tag for a long time and claimed he couldn’t do it himself because of her. Did it count if he handed Tag over to someone who wanted to hurt him?

Nya sat on the bed, lost in thought about what she’d just heard. She heard a click and gasped as she scrambled over the bed. If Archer was turning off the lights then he would be here in a moment. Lying down, she pulled up the blankets and closed her eyes tight.

Keeping her back to his side of the bed, she’d already lost her desire to be intimate and couldn’t think about making love with a man who’d just put all these questions into her mind. So even after listening to him undress, she stayed exactly where she was, tense and rigid, feigning sleep.

Lying down beside her, he stroked her hip and kissed her shoulder. Then nuzzling her hair, he fondled her breast, and said her name.

Skimming his hand south, he tried to insinuate it between her thighs, but she squeezed them tighter. His laugh warmed her neck. “Ok, Squirm, sleep,” he whispered, kissing her shoulder again. “But I’m having Cheerios for breakfast.”

She’d just told this man that she wanted to have his child, and now she wasn’t even sure she could look at him. Damn Ester and her drinking habit, Nya would rather be ignorant than filled with this icy doubt that was making her rethink everything she thought she knew to be true.